So apparently no update emails are going out! No idea why, but hopefully this one will work? If not, I'll delete and re upload both.

Thank you UnderElectricCandlelight for your review and the heads up! I've been trying to reply to you, but I can't do that either! :(

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 44: Freedom

By Love Ink

Angela woke up way too early, her stomach roiling. Running to the bathroom, she threw up the contents of her stomach, feeling ill for a multitude of reasons. The least of which was the alcohol she'd drank the night before. She splashed some cold water on her face, before lifting her head and staring at herself in the mirror. She felt a pang of shame in her stomach as she touched the dark hickey on her neck. What had she been thinking going to Esai's apartment that night? Sleeping with him? She'd agreed to give him another chance after their break, but she was supposed to make him work for it, not just show up at his door and throw herself at him! How could she be so stupid? Raking a hand through her hair, she heard a faint buzzing sound. Thinking it was her phone, she headed to the pile of clothes on the floor at the foot of the bed. It wasn't her phone, but his.

She glanced at him, not surprised he was sleeping through it. He looked so handsome and innocent in his sleep. It brought her back to their high school days. When she'd wake up before him and just watch him sleep. Back then, she couldn't believe he was hers. That out of all the girls who wanted him, he'd chosen her. The only difference between that boy and the man in bed at the moment were the large tattoos showing his Mayan pride. He hadn't changed like he'd promised he had. He was still the same old asshole. The same man who wanted her but wanted to be free as well. Wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

The phone buzzed again and without thinking, she went over and picked it up. The little flip phone was closed, and she hesitated in opening it. It buzzed again in her hand, the name across the tiny screen on top reading, "B". She hesitated. She was not this paranoid girl. "B" could easily be a man. Maybe one of the new Mayan prospects from some charter she didn't know. Still...it kept buzzing with texts from "B". Who the hell was "B"? And why were they texting him so early on a Saturday? Cringing at herself, she flipped open the phone, and her stomach dropped. There were about twenty new texts on there...all from "B". She knew she shouldn't open them, but she couldn't help it.

She felt sick as she read over the text messages. Starting at the beginning of the conversation and working her way down. From the what she could tell, "B" was the girl he'd cheated on her with in Santo Padre. All of the texts were sexual, promises of seeing each other again, and grainy images of breasts and even a dick pic. Stupid new camera phones, she thought, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she walked towards the kitchen.

She sat at the counter, going through the texts slowly. Then she got to one that made bile rise into her throat. A mention of them having sex in the bathroom at the road show. The time stamp on it around the same time she'd gotten run off the road. She'd almost died, and he'd been fucking some other girl in a disgusting bathroom! Not only that, he'd gone and seen this girl after Hap and Koz wouldn't let him into her hospital room! "Fuckin' asshole," she muttered, closing the phone and slamming it onto the table. What was she doing giving him another chance when he so clearly hadn't changed? He'd gone right back to his old ways without a second thought! Was he worth the pain just so she wouldn't be alone? What was wrong with her? She deserved better than this shit!

"Hey chiqui," Esai said, pulling her from her thoughts. He moved his arms around her from behind, kissing her temple sweetly. He pulled away, brushing his finger across her cheek. He went to the fridge, grabbing out the carton of orange juice and drinking straight from it. He put it back, wiping his mouth on his arm. "You feelin', okay?"

"Not really," she replied honestly. "Ha-have you been fucking other girls?"

"What? No! I told you I wouldn't! I want this to last," he said on a scowl. "Happened just that one time!"

Angela slid his phone over to him. "You sure?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. " 'cause your dick pic says otherwise."

"You went through my phone!" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I did! You make me so fuckin' crazy that I went through your phone because I can't fuckin' trust you and I was right!" she exclaimed, pushing away from the table and getting to her feet. "You're talking to some chick named B! Do you think I'm dumb? That I wouldn't find out?"

Esai struggled for a minute to think of something to say before he went with, "No! It's nothing! I didn't touch her again! Just phone shit!"

"Esai!" Angela exclaimed in frustration. "Are you fucking kidding me? It says right here that you guys fucked a few days ago when I was in the damn hospital after I almost died! What would you say if you saw texts like that on my phone?"

"There has been! That fuckin' Son! He texted you that first night!"

Her eyes widened as she stared at him in disbelief. "What?" she asked, her anger slipping slightly as she tried to decipher what he meant by that. Juice hadn't sent her a text that first night. She knew that for a fact because she'd specifically looked for one and hadn't seen it.

"Where are you? I miss you! I'm sorry!" he mocked in a whiny voice. "Fuckin' pendejo. What's he doin' leaving you texts like that if he doesn't want to fuck you?"

"Juice never sent me texts like that! He didn't even text me that night!"

"Yes, he did!" Esai exclaimed throwing his arms to the side. "I saw them!"

Angela didn't know what to feel. Part of the reason she'd given Esai a chance to begin with was because Juice hadn't texted her that night. She'd thought he hadn't cared! Yet here was Esai saying he had texted her. Had said he was sorry and he'd missed her! Juice had never said a word about sending her those texts. Never mentioned it. And she certainly hadn't seen any texts of the sort. Slowly, she put two and two together, a fresh wave of anger taking hold. "Did you delete the texts from my phone?"

"No! They went away on their own or something!"

"No, you deleted them!" she shouted, wishing she had something to throw at him. "That's it. This is fuckin' over. We're done."

"Over? We ain't fuckin' over!" he said, grabbing her arm when she tried to leave. "Stop! I didn't do anything wrong! You said you wanted a break!"

Angela wrenched her arm away. "I wanted space and I specifically told you not to fuck anyone else and you couldn't even do that! You fucked someone while I was in the hospital, you fucking asshole!"

"This is some bullshit! You gonna fuck me and leave? Just like that?"

She chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. Now you know how your stupid putas feel, asshole."

She saw his hand coming and instinctively stepped in closer, raising her arm and elbowing him in the face as she blocked his slap. She hadn't meant to do it. It was an instinct burned into her brain by Happy and Kozik when they were teaching her to defend herself. Still, she was finding it hard to feel bad for him as he cried out in pain while blood gushed from his nose. "Shit! What the fuck?" he asked, trying to staunch the bleeding with his hand.

"Are you crazy? Trying to slap me! What the hell are you thinking?" Shaking her head, she stepped away from him, slowly backing up towards the door. "We're done, E. It's over. Have fun fucking "B". I hope she's worth it."

Before he could say anything more, she walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She could hear him cussing and calling after her, but she ignored him. Instead, she ran towards Rosa's apartment, her brain buzzing. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Her vision blurred with tears as she ran. The world seemed to tilt around her. It was over. She was alone. She finally made it to Rosa's door, praying the door was unlocked. To her relief, it was, and she walked in to find Rosa, Lino, and Vanessa all standing around the kitchen, worried looks on their faces.

Angela stared at them, tears sliding down her face. "It's over," she finally managed to get out. She swiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand. "We're done."

Rosa let out a breath of relief. "Fucking finally."

Lino scowled at her, going over and wrapping her in a tight hug. "You okay?"

Angela shook her head, feeling the weight of everything come crushing in on her. Then she felt another pair of arms wrap around her from behind, the smell of Rosa's perfume filling her senses. She'd thought she was going to be alone, but she was wrong. She had her friends there to support her. That alone made it easier for her to breathe. "Thank you," she managed to get out as she untangled herself from them.

Rosa smiled at her, brushing another stray tear from her face. "We got your back. Always. You know that."

"Yup," Lino agreed, throwing himself onto the couch.

Vanessa sat on the couch arm by his side, a concerned look on her face. "What happened?"

Angela sank down on the couch beside Lino, Rosa on her other side. "I um...I looked through his phone and saw he was still...sexting some chick named B? They were talking about...having sex multiple times including while I was in the hospital and there were boob pics and dick pics and it was...gross. I called him on it. He got angry that I was looking through his phone...and it went from there." She purposefully left out the part about Esai deleting Juice's texts. She didn't even want to go there herself at the moment. "I um...told him it was over. He...he tried to slap me, and I ended up possibly breaking his nose."

Rosa laughed while Vanessa gasped in horror. "What?" Vanessa asked, her dark eyes wide.

"Yeah, but it wasn't on purpose. I just...its an instinct. Someone goes to slap me, and I block and throw an elbow. I'd never...never do that to him on purpose," she explained, still feeling dizzy as she went through it all again. "And then I left. Told him it was over and just...bounced."

Rosa grinned proudly at her. "That's my girl! Make him bleed!" she exclaimed, moving an arm around her shoulders and giving it a squeeze.

Angela wasn't exactly proud of what she'd done. She was glad it meant he didn't land his hit, but she didn't take any pride in hurting him that way. It was all in self-defense. "I didn't mean to," she muttered, letting her head fall into her hands.

Lino's heavy hand landed on her shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "We know, chiqui. That ain't your style," he assured her. Rosa scoffed at him, standing from her seat and disappearing down the hall. He continued, undeterred, "But hey, at least you stood up for yourself. That's...fuckin' awesome. And I don't mean hitting him, I mean telling him cheating was a deal-breaker and sticking to it. Takes balls."

"Especially with all your history," Vanessa chimed in. "Takes a lot of strength to leave someone you've loved for so long."

Angela was well aware Vanessa didn't know all of the history she had with Esai, but she appreciated the sentiment regardless. "Whatever you guys say," she said on a tired breath.

Rosa slammed a little box onto the table with a bottle of water. "Take this."

Her brows furrowed together as she grabbed the box, reading the packaging. "Plan B? We're good. We were careful. He wore a condom, and I'm on shit so..."

Lino ran a hand over his face. "Yeah, about that...my buddy, Angel, is a prospect in the Santo Padre charter. Apparently, Raffa had a fantastic idea that E should poke holes in his condoms and knock you up so you'd stay with him."

Angela looked at Lino as if he was insane. She couldn't believe what he'd just said. "He was going to trick me into getting pregnant so I'd stay?"

Lino nodded gravely. "The idea was thrown out there, so...maybe. Angel gave me the heads up last night, but I didn't think I'd have to worry about it 'cause you were here, and I didn't think you'd go back to him. Then you fuckin' disappear in the middle of the night and here we are."

She raked her hands through her hair, cursing under her breath. "He's crazy. He's batshit fuckin' crazy."

"And stupid. Not a good mix," Rosa pointed out, opening the package and popping open the pill and all but shoving it in Angela's mouth. "Take it. Now. Then we're getting you an STD test, 'cause I don't trust that motherfucker."

"Okay." Angela took the pill, downing the water as she did so. She wiped her mouth afterwards, looking between her friends for a moment. Again, her world had turned upside down, and she wasn't quite sure what to do next. What to think. "I dunno what to do now. I feel so...mixed up. I don't know whether to cry or laugh or...vomit."

Rosa chuckled, leaning in to kiss Angela's forehead. "You do whatever the fuck you want to do. We're with you. We'll cry with you, laugh with you, and hold your hair back when you throw up. "

"Hell, I'll throw up with you. Seeing people puke always make me puke too," Lino said on a smirk. Vanessa smacked him lovingly, a small smile on her face.

"As for what to do? You can do whatever the fuck you want to do, dude," Rosa stated with a big grin. "You're free."

For some reason, hearing those words put her at ease. Rosa was right. She was free. She was done with Esai and free to...do whatever the hell she wanted. For the first time in quite some time, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest, and she could breathe easily. It was a bittersweet feeling. She still loved Esai, and she had a feeling a part of her always would, but she was free of his demands, free of his "for life" sentence, and his bullshit cheating ways. Still...even though she was free, the daunting idea of being alone frightened her. Yeah, she had her friends to be there for her, but being in a relationship with someone was different. Her friends wouldn't be there with her late at night when the nightmares came. Wouldn't hold her when she was feeling low. She was alone again, alone with no plan on what to do next, and it was terrifying.

Kozik sat on his bike outside Angela and Juice's house, waiting for her to get home. He relaxed when he saw the flashy green Harley come down the street with her tailing it. He recognized Lino from a far and was relieved it was him, not the asshole; he'd been worried that her being so close to Esai meant she'd end up in his bed. He watched as they both pulled into the drive. She hugged Lino goodbye, and he kissed her temple, muttering something to her that made her smile.

That's when he saw it. A dark hickey on her neck that definitely hadn't been there when he'd dropped her off earlier, which meant she'd either fucked Lino—which he knew would never happen—or she had found her way back into Esai's bed. Angela's eyes stayed on Lino's bike until it disappeared, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She looked small, fragile. So unlike herself it was scary. Kozik's anger dissipated. How could he be mad at her when she looked so upset?

"Hey," she greeted him, still staring at her feet. "I um...I'll let you in."

He got off his bike and followed her inside, closing the door behind him. She stood in the middle of the living room, looking just a little lost. "What happened, kid?" he asked softly.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she said, her voice cracking just a little. She ran her hands through her hair, tugging slightly. "It was Raj's birthday, and I was sad and hurting and I...went over to Esai's place. Drunk and angry. We...fucked, and I felt...nothing, Koz. It didn't...it didn't make me feel better like I thought it might. It just...it made me feel sadder. The next morning, I see all these texts on his phone with boob shots and dick pics and...he's still cheating. All this time and he was still fuckin' around, so I called him on it. We fought, he tried to smack me, I broke his nose, and now its...its over."

Kozik couldn't help the pride he felt at hearing she'd broken the guy's nose. He knew she wouldn't appreciate a comment to that effect though; she was clearly working through things. "Good for you, kiddo. You always deserved better."

Angela smiled just a little, swallowing hard. "Yeah. I just...don't know what I'm gonna do now. At first it felt...freeing, and now it just feels...scary. What comes next? I don't want to be alone again. It...I'm not great at it."

He chuckled at her, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't really know, kid. Just gotta keep movin' forward."

Angela sunk down on the couch, leaning back and closing her eyes. To his surprise, a tear slipped down her face. "Its fuckin' hard. I don't want to be alone. It hurts. I was finally starting to feel okay, and now, it's all fucked up again. I don't want to deal with this hurt anymore."

Kozik's heart hurt to see her so messed up, so lost. He sat down beside her, gently brushing away the tear with a finger. She tilted her head against his shoulder, and he moved his arm around her, squeezing her shoulder lovingly. "No one said it was gonna be easy, but I got you, kid. 'm here for you. You're not alone," he told her, kissing her head.

She sniffled a bit. "What do I do now? My brain is just ping-ponging, and I dunno whether to laugh or cry. My head's just this big ole mess."

"You don't got to do anything now," he said, lifting his arm from her shoulder and standing up. "We're gonna fight this out. C'mon."

Lumpy's gym smelled like stale sweat and was filled with the noise of jump ropes hitting the ground and gloves on bags. Angela loved it. She glanced over at Kozik who grinned back at her, nodding towards the older man in the corner. "Welcome to Lumpy's," he stated, gesturing to the small boxing gym. "Hey Lump!"

The old man grinned at the two of them, heading over. "Hey-ya Kozik! How are you, man?"

"Good, good. Got my sister, Angie, here. Was gonna see if you got a spot open for us to spar a bit."

Lumpy looked her over with a smile. "Nice to meet you, sweetheart," he said, extending a hand for her to shake. She shook it hard, knowing he was also assessing her strength. His smile widened as he nodded in approval. "She's got a firm grip, Koz. You sure you want to get in the ring with her?"

Kozik laughed and nodded enthusiastically. "Oh I'm ready."

"Ring's open. Go for it," Lumpy said, gesturing to the large boxing ring in the center of the place. He nodded to her, mischief in his eyes. "Make sure he stretches first. He's gettin' old."

"Will do." Angela grinned and nodded, throwing down her bag and getting her gloves out. They were custom made, black with Dia De Los Muertos style skulls all over it. A present from Kozik for her birthday a few years back. She loved them. Getting out an old wrap, she wrapped her hands slowly, enjoying the familiar rhythm of it. Some people liked yoga for its meditative state, but she preferred this. Going through the motions of wrapping her hands, pulling on her gloves, and head gear...all of it felt soothing and familiar. It was something she'd done with Happy and Kozik since she was twelve years old, and she loved the routine of it all, the memories it brought back. She glanced up at the ring, relishing the adrenaline rush flowing through her veins. She needed this. Needed to hit something.

"All right, let's go, Angie-pie," Kozik said, holding up his gloves as she climbed into the ring. She squared off in front of him, and he held up his gloves. "C'mon, hit me. Jab-jab, let's go!"

And she did. Following his commands while she put all the hurt, all the anger she had into her hits. Over and over again until her arms felt heavy and sore. Once she was done, she sat down on the mat, laying back, and staring up at the ceiling as she fought to catch her breath. Kozik chuckled, leaning over her with a big grin on his face. "Fuckin' hit hard today! You good, kid?"

She nodded, feeling exhilarated. God, it felt good to beat something up. To get all of the anger and fear she was feeling out and into the pads Kozik had been holding. Sitting up, she took the water bottle he offered her and downed half of it. "That felt good."

"Good. You looked good," he said, sitting down beside her with a grunt. He took off his gloves, throwing to them to the side before helping her out of hers. "Feelin' better?"

"Fuck yeah," she said around a laugh as she cracked her knuckles. "Still don't know where I'm goin' but that felt...amazing."

Koz sighed, draping an arm over her shoulders. "Things'll work out, kiddo. It might take awhile, but you'll figure it out. Just gotta keep swimmin'."

She snorted at the line, remembering the night she'd conned him into seeing Finding Nemo with her. He'd pretended he hated it, but he quoted that damn line all the time. "Whatever, fish-head."

"Think we should head back. Juice'll be home day after tomorrow, and he's gonna freak when he sees the mess you made," he said, getting to his feet.

Juice. She was both excited and nervous to see him, suddenly all too aware of the hickey on her neck. What would he say? Would he even care? Would he be mad that she'd seen him while he was gone after she'd specifically told him she wasn't going to? What would he do when he found out she broke up with Esai? She let out a heavy sigh, holding out her hand to Kozik. "Help me up."

Kozik chuckled, grabbing her hand and hauling her up to her feet. "Idiot's gonna be real happy to hear y'all are done," he said, as they climbed out of the ring.

Angela rolled her eyes at him, wiping her face with a towel. "Thought you weren't gonna push that."

"Not pushin', stating a fact," he said, looking around the gym. "If not, there's about...ten guys in here that I'm sure will keep you warm and treat way you better than the asshole Mayan."

She didn't bother to look, knowing Kozik was exaggerating; there weren't even ten guys in the building. "Shut up, Koz. Don't be ridiculous."

He kissed her cheek again. "Love you, Angie-pie. You're gonna be okay. Everythin' happens for a reason, y'know."

She sighed, feeling like he might just be right. "If you say so."

Hope you all are having a great day! I'm so thankful to everyone who's taking the time to read! :)

Let me know what you think!

~Love Ink