Chapter 19: Ghost of Days Gone By

The next morning came as nothing but sadness for three girls in Roswaal's manor. Ram and Emilia watched helplessly as Subaru and Rem left their world through a portal with no guarantee they would return. It was already a big risk before, but it got worse when the portal failed. Purple light flashed and the portal that Beatrice created collapsed and disappeared. After that moment there was a deafening silence in the room. Nothing but the emotions of those who believed they just lost someone extremely important.

Roswaal had taken Ram with him so she didn't kill Beatrice and he could fix her rouge mana issue.

Beako had fallen to her knees and stared wide eyed to the portal. This was her fault for not double checking the portal's stability. She had used magic from an older book in her collection and wasn't quite sure of it's ability. She was sure now that this was the reason it had not been attempted before.

Puck and Emilia both had retreated to Emilia's room. Puck knew that his daughter would be heartbroken over the loss of the one she'd come to love. The half elf had quietly requested that she be left alone for a while and that Betty could use some help. Reluctantly, Puck agreed and left Emilia to herself. Once left alone, Emilia began to bawl her eyes out. She had come to love Subaru over the time she knew him and now he was gone for all she knew. The tears dripped onto the pillow as her sobs of despair could be heard throughout the entire left wing of the manor. It wasn't long before she had cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Puck was across the manor, near Subaru's room, where he and Betty were desperately working to get the portal back. "Bubby, do you see Betty's book?" The great spirits hunted for the book that she had that gave her the incantations for the portal's opening. "Never mind, found it." Beako stepped back before the portal and recited the spell. As expected, nothing happened. "Dammit!" The 'drill loli' cried out and slammed her book on the ground.

"Now now." Puck started. "No need for foul language." The cat floated close and inspected the doorway used. "I think this is your issue." He pointed with his paw to a small crack in the metal doorframe. "Could this do it?"

Betty stared at the door and gasped. "The doorway wasn't strong enough for the magic, I suppose. We must get it reinforced." And so, the two spirits went off to find Roswaal to help with the portal's door.

Meanwhile, in Japan, Rem awoke to find herself in a strange bed in a dark room. Unlike her room in the Roswaal manor, this one was dimly lit, had very intricate paintings and what looked like miniature people on shelves. Her eyes took a minute to adjust as she tried to find the door. To her surprise, the door revealed itself when Subaru opened it. He had a plate with him.

"Good morning Rem. How'd you sleep?"

Rem stared wide eyed. This was all so surreal to not be in her world, but in his. "G-Good. Subaru, am I in your bedroom?"

Subaru rubbed his neck at her question. "Uh, yeah. I wasn't going to make you sleep on the couch so I carried you in here to sleep. I hope it wasn't too bad. I don't remember that bed very well."

She watched as his hand twitched. She removed herself from the covers to grab the plate from him. "Thank you, Subaru." After she placed it on the desk, she looked around. "What is all this stuff?"

"Uh, well, that's not important right now. I can't teach it all in one day." He tried to laugh it off, and Rem seemed to agree on a topic change.

"Where are your parents?" Her eyes still scanned the room.

"They went off to work. I'm usually here by myself on days like this from what I remember, so it's nice to have someone else. They don't come home until about 10 or so." He sat on the bed and Rem sat beside him. The small silence went on for a good while before he felt her lean over on his shoulder.

Rem was nodding off and she knew it. The only thing that kept her from falling back to sleep was the nagging thought of wanting to know. Wanting to know what curse was on him. "Subaru?"

"Hmmm."

"Can you... Can you talk about your curse here?" Another short silence settled in as he tried to work up the courage to do it. "I-If you don't want to..."

Subaru smiled and rubbed her head. "No, it's fine. I need to try anyway." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Rem, I have the ability to... Return by Death!"

Emilia woke up to find herself alone. The pillow beneath her head was stained with the tears she'd shed the night before. "Oh, that's right. He's gone." Part of her prayed it was only a dream, but she knew the truth. She knew that Subaru and Rem entered the portal and never returned. Puck had gone to help restore the portal, but there was no guarantee that it could be fixed. Her mind raced with what could have possibly happened.

'Could they have been thrown into another world that they weren't supposed to go to?'

'Were they even successful in getting through?'

"D-Did they live?" She asked aloud to no one. "I b-better go check on Puck and Beatrice."

Her eyes still had tear marks under them as she made her way to Subaru's room. She knew that Betty would have her door there since she was so attached to him. Come to think of it, they were all attached to him in one way or another. He just seemed to have that effect on people.

Once she got to Subaru's room, she found Betty showing Roswaal the crack in the door.

"Yes, it doooooeees appear to be the cause." He ran his finger across his very pointed chin.

Emilia walked up and stared. "D-Do you think they made it?"

Roswaal chuckled a bit. "If Subaru didn't maaaake it, I suspect this event would never happen." Both Betty and Emilia stood stunned a moment. "Oh, that's right. He can't tell you here. Perhaps we'll know when he comes back." A second later, the purple portal snapped back to life.

Puck floated close enough to it. "That did it! We should be good to go."

"I guuueeeessss he'll tell you soon enough." Roswaal took his leave.

Betty and Emilia stared into the purple abyss. "Betty will go through first I suppose. That way, I can set a more permanent exit." She grabbed her book and disappeared into the doorway.

Emilia stood there and silently prayed. "Please come home soon, Subaru."

"Rem, I have the ability to... Return by Death!" No one said a word as the silence lingered. They both awaited for what happened last time to happen again, but it didn't. Nothing happened. No hands around the heart, no shortness of breath, no pain. Just relief.

Subaru finally opened his eyes and found Rem staring nervously. "I-I think it worked." He felt his chest and watched as Rem moved over and smelled him.

"There's no scent anymore. It's gone." She looked at him in disbelief. Just a few days prior when they tried this, Subaru was drenched in the scent of the witch.

"It... It's gone. Rem it's gone!" He pulled her into a hug and squeezed her. "I'm free!" As it sunk in, he realized that there were things she was bound to ask that he needed to answer.

Rem was enjoying the hug that her beloved was giving her, but she wanted to know more about the curse. "Subaru?"

"Yes?"

"What does 'Return by Death' mean?"

Subaru was silent for a second. He sat Rem back on the bed before joining her. "Rem. Over the time that I've known you, I've lived many times, and I've died many more."

The demon was shocked. As far as she knew, Subaru had never died. Come close? Yes. But never truly died.

Seeing her confused expression, he continued. "Whenever I die, time resets to a certain point. Here's an example. Remember back when we first met, how weary of me you were?"

Rem nodded, fully immersed in what he was saying.

"Well, there were I think three or four different times where I lived a four day span in the mansion. Every time I reset, I woke up in the bed with you and Ram staring at me. Which, now that I think about it, is weird."

"How so?"

"Because I went and saw Betty earlier that morning. She threw me out and I went back to bed."

"Did that kill you?"

"No."

"B-But how did you die?"

This was going to be tough. "Well, the first night, I died to poison I think. That's how I knew about the mabeast in the village. Another time, you died from the poison. In that loop, Ram chased me to kill me. I jumped to my death to bring you back." He chuckled a bit. "Betty tried to stop her, but I wasn't going to live while you didn't. That just wasn't fair to you."

She reached over and held his arm. There were a few times he'd saved her. Now she was learning of a time she never knew of.

"In the second or third time I died, I found out that someone in the mansion had assassinated me. Someone very strong." He waited for her questioning look. Once it came, he moved on. "They used a weapon with a chain."

That did it. Rem's eyes shot wide open. Only one person in the manor had a weapon with a chain. It was her. "I-I killed you?" Tears began to leak down her face.

Subaru was quick to reach an arm around her. "It's alright. I mean, we're here now. Besides, that wasn't the only time. Once I figured out it was you, I wanted to know why. You told me right before you slammed your Morning Star down on my head in another loop." He heard her choke out another sob as he held her. "It's okay Rem. I never felt pain. Only the sensation of death. It's a truly strange thing to experience."

The more he laughed, the more confused Rem was. "I can't."

"What?"

"I can't live with you now."

"Sure you can. I see no-"

"I killed you!"

The room was silent as they sat there.

"I killed you twice!"

Once again, Subaru laughed. "Yea, you did. But I've killed you too. I'd say we're even." Noticing she wasn't convinced, he kissed her head. "Rem. I love you."

She looked up into his dark eyes, her own blue pupils watering. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"How many times did I die?"

There was one death that stuck out from all the other loops. The loop where Rem was almost ripped apart right before him. "Please don't make me tell you. It hurts too much."

"Then one. Tell me one." Her face was worried as she clung to him. "Please, I want to know."

Steeling himself, Subaru took a deep breath. "It was Betelguese. He killed you the only other time I care to remember, and I wish I could forget it."

"The Bishop of Sloth?"

"Yes. Rem, he was able to take me captive after an ambush. You, being very loving and loyal to me, followed us to his cave. This was the whole reason I sent you back with Crusch. I was chained up against the wall while Betelguese interrogated me. You charged in bravely to save me. From what I remember, you took out 10 or so of them before you were... were..." Tears began to fall from his eyes as he tried to go on.

Rem, realizing what she was making him relive, grabbed his arm tighter and began to apologize. "I'm sorry Subaru! I didn't want you to..."

"N-No. It... It's fine. I told you I would tell you." He breathed heavily again. "Betelguese, he had something called 'the unseen hand'. It's shadows that can grab at whatever he wants. He got you. He made me watch as he snapped your neck... and he, he twisted your limbs into something that was so unnatural." The last part of the story was the hardest to tell. "Rem. Your arms and legs were broken, your neck was snapped, yet... yet... you crawled your way to me."

The vision of Rem crawling on that dark cave floor came to mind. The sheer will power she showed as forced her broken limbs onward. The feeling of his teeth grabbing at her dress to pull her to him.

"You used the last of you strength to free me from my chains. You told me to live. You told me... you told me you loved me." That was the story. The amount of rage he'd felt in that moment was now dwindling away as if it was some horrible night terror. "Rem. I'm sorry. I was too weak to save you. The only thing I'm good for is dying."

The story of her own horrible demise was shocking to say the least. Rem brought her eyes to his and said. "I love you, Subaru. You did save me." She reached up and kissed him.

After a brief second, he returned the kiss. Slow minutes went by before the soft kissing got rougher, then rougher. Rem pushed her lover on the bed and straddled him. "I'm never letting you go again."

Beatrice popped out of thin air in Subaru's home. She reasoned that the other key must be in the home to be there. When she went to open the portal, she wasn't able to. "Great, not a strong enough doorway here. We'll need something else."

The great spirit ventured from room to room for a little while. Eventually, she found the room of the one she was contracted with. She slowly opened the door only to be greeted with the sight of Rem and Subaru in the throes of passion. Blushing deeply, she backed out and waited outside. "Well. That was fast."