Authors Notes: Please just remember I have no beta and forgive me. Also reviews help keep me inspired to keep writing and posting. Also this chapter was really hard to write and post I hope you all like it. Here goes nothing.

Chapter Three – Wait by NF

Hyde – January 1, 1980 – 9:02 AM

He was so pissed that he had to pace her room a good minute before he could calm himself enough to let it come into focus. In all the time that Jackie had lived here with Fez, not once had Hyde come into her room. Now that he was here, he turned as he soaked it in and was a bit stunned to find it was nothing like the Jackie he would have known.

There was no pink, no flowers, and he couldn't find a trace of any unicorns. No scented candles, no Abba records, her bed was unmade, and she actually had a few dirty clothes scattered on the floor. No, this was not his Jackie and yet… his heart skipped a beat as his eyes landed of a familiar Led Zeppelin shirt laying on her unmade bed. His eye began to mist with unwanted tears as memories tore through him making his chest tight. Wiping at his eyes as he tried to shake his head clear Hyde refused to let himself fall apart, Jackie was relying on him right now.

Surveying the room again, he noted her vanity on the wall across from her bed. Hyde knew the only thing he was likely to find in her vanity was Jackie's make-up, jewelry, and hair accessories. Turning a quarter to his right had him facing her dresser, which was placed on the wall next to her door. Chances are she would keep her diary with her sock or underwear. Hyde was betting her underwear knowing it was Fez who came across it in the first place. Walking over he pulled open the second drawer from the top, where he knew she had kept her underwear before and started to dig. Bingo! There they were both the bottle with only four oblong white pills left in it as well as her perky pink diary, with a big cursive gold J embossed on the front.

It felt unfathomable holding them in his hand, talking about Jackie taking this junk was one thing but actually holding the evidence was another. This made it real, he now held the proof in his hand, he could visually see that his Doll had truly been in enough pain to attempt to cover it with something that even he, the junky of the group, would never touch. How had he NOT seen it, had he really been so wrapped up in his own ferocity towards Jackie that he had just let her walk into that kind of darkness alone. Let her become someone, like they had vowed to each other they would never become, like her mother or Edna. Swallowing hard he then turned his eyes to his other hand, which just maybe held the answers, and her secrets as to why.

Walking over to her unkept bed Hyde set down, laying the pills down on the unmade sheets as if holding them in his hand another second would cause him to burn his hand, he then picked up the discarded Zeppelin shirt and brought it up to his nose. Strawberries and Vanilla Cream, it still smelled so strongly of her, she must still wear it to bed, at least that was one thing that hadn't changed about his Doll. Taking another deep breath to keep himself from breaking down Hyde laid her/his shirt back on the bed and took off his sunglasses and laid them down on top of it, then stared at the bright pink journal sitting in his lap. Once he opened it and began to reading her thoughts, he would never be able to unknow what had happened to her. It would be just like that night he had walked up on her crying at the Packers game, her tiny body shaking from the sobs as she dabbed the tears he had caused from her eyes, forever burned into his mind.

Picking it up in his finger traced the golden J on the front before flipping it open. There was no getting around this, it needed to be done. The doctors needed the answers, they needed the answers, hell he needed the answers.

Jacquelin B. Burkhart

Jan 1979 –

Well, it seems she had started this one back when they were together, hopefully she dated the pages or he was in for a long day of reading, a painful one if he had to relieve all the good times in Jackie's mind of when they were actually happy and he was her puddin' pop. Turning to the next page Hyde sighed in relief he saw it was date January 6, 1979. However, the relief was short lived when he's eyes caught sight of a few words in her writing. I just can't shake the feeling that he doesn't love me. He was going to leave me. The same way my Dad did, the same way my mom always does. What the hell?! Now he had to read the rest.

January 6, 1979

I had begged him, begged and he KNOWS… hell everyone knows I never beg. His response, I don't know. I wasn't looking for him to propose or to get married, I know Steven better than that. All I wanted, all I needed from him, was to know that he loved me as much as I loved him. To maybe tell me, that he couldn't see his life without me in it. God knows whenever I think of the future without Steven in it, it kills me. But here I am. I had to make a choice. Because I just can't shake the feeling that he doesn't love me. He was going to leave me. The same way my Dad did, the same way my Mom always does. And I love him too much to be able to survive it when he does decide to leave, so I had to do it. I had to be the one the end things. The only problem is… I still love him. He still doesn't care, and it hurts to breath.

He remembered now, that had been when she had posed as Donna at the wedding, then broke up with him because he wouldn't say he would marry her someday. Huh, well maybe not because of the marriage thing according to this entry. Reading this it had nothing to do with marriage all. He can't believe she had honestly thought back then, even for a second, that he didn't love her. What the hell else had he missed… what day was it when Jackie decided she was going to leave for Chicago. It was after she graduated, so it was in May sometime, after the 12th for sure.

May 15, 1979

I need someone to tell me what to do. I am so scared. The one thing I do know for sure is I can't tell Steven. I can't listen to him tell me that I did this to try to trap him. To see the anger and disgust on his handsome face as he looks at me when he says it. But maybe, I can do this alone. Brooke did. She's no better than me, right? I can do this right. I guess it's time for me to grow up. I don't really have a choice do now, do I. I'm so scared.

What the… God no, no, no, no. Please it can't be. Please Jackie, don't tell me this is what I'm thinking it is, Hyde's mind twisted as his fingers fumbled with the paper not able to turn the page fast enough.

May 19, 1979

I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, but I think I have a plan. I was offered a job in Chicago, it's a good job, one that would support us both. I called Brooke and talked to her about everything. She was so amazing and understanding but then again, I guess she would be. She said maybe if I ended up in Chicago, we could get a place together, just us and our… I can't bring myself to write down much less, say it yet. As for Steven, I can't force him into this life with me. Every time I even think about telling him it makes my stomach turn. So, I have decided that I am going to tell him about the job in Chicago and let him choose if he just wants to be with me or not. I know I promised him we wouldn't talk about the future and that we would live in the now, and that this is going to upset and confuse him. Especially after my freak out early this year when I broke up with because I was scared that he was going to leave me. Crap I'm still scared, I still don't know if this is the right thing to do. But I honestly don't know if he loves me that same way, I love him… I mean he's really only said he loves me a hand full of times and it just makes me… FOCUS JACKIE! Remember what Brooke said, you have to decide what you're going to do because like it or not my future is happening now. This isn't just about Steven anymore.

Hyde had to pause to brush the tear off his cheek with top of his shoulder. Pregnant, Jackie had been pregnant. All this time Steven had thought Jackie hadn't changed, that she was just so infatuated with getting married, that she couldn't let it go. As it turns out, she had been thinking about everyone in their situation but her. Problem was she sucked as much as Hyde does about talking about her true feelings with him. She didn't always used to be that way, maybe that was because of her parents, maybe that was because to him. Either way, one thing was for sure, Hyde hated that he had to read this stupid damn diary before he actually realized what had been happening in his Doll's life. Knowing now that she'd talked to Brooke, that Kelso had taken Jackie to see Brooke when she went to Chicago. Damnit, it changed everything. He didn't want to turn the page, but he needed to.

May 23, 1979

As soon as I had walked in to tell Steven that I needed to talk to him leave it to Michael to say I was pregnant. Idiot! Of course, I didn't say anything I just let Fez side track him. I am just praying he didn't hear anything from Brooke. However, putting that moron aside, that is not why I'm upset or angry. Well maybe a little angry. Actually since were on the topic of the moron, thanks to his little stunt my brain was fried for the rest of the day, I even slipped and told Donna I had fake pregnancy up my sleeve when we were waiting for Eric and Steven. Why would I do that?! It's like I'm want people to find out all of sudden. Not that it matters, Eric came back alone. He told us… Steven wasn't coming, he made his choice and it wasn't me. Have a nice trip. That's what I got from him. So… I called Brooke, who is turning out to be a really good friend, she helped me get a room in Chicago for the first few nights. She said she would talk to Michael and that I could ride with him up there since he is scheduled to visit her and Betsy anyways and they can meet us at the motel.

Son of…! No! Please tell me I didn't do it again! Hyde thought almost tearing the page in his haste to turn it over to the next.

May 27, 1979

I don't even know what to do. He just left, he wouldn't even give me a chance to talk or explain. You would think he would know better by now, that Michael and I are over, that I would never sleep with him. Especially after that whole fiasco with the damn nurse! God, here I am right back where I started. I don't know what to do, he was so angry. I've been back at Point Place for two days and Kitty and Red said I could stay in his room. He hasn't come home. How am I supposed explain that Michael was talking about people seeing him and Brooke having sex in her car, if he doesn't even come home?! How I can talk to him, when I don't know where he is?! This is all such a mess; I should have never left. Maybe this is what I get for not coming clean about everything. For wanting to be more than just a waitress with kid whose father that thinks their mother was nothing but a whore who trapped them into marriage because that's all they cared about in life… but then, at least Steven would still be with me.

Clutching the book in his hand couldn't get his to his feet fast enough, he all but ran out the door of Jackie's bedroom before coming to a standstill in the living room, fixing his eyes on Kelso who was sitting at the table with Fez, Donna, and Eric in the kitchen all of them picking at what looked like some leftover lasagna that was sitting in front of them.

"That night I went to Chicago, who were you talking about people seeing you have sex with Kelso? And you better NOT lie to me!" Hyde demanded, causing everyone at the table to freeze at the riled edge in his tone.

Kelso was dead quiet, looking down at his fork as he shuffled some of his food and back and forth as if it would help in keeping him for having to answer Hyde's question. Doing his best to completely ignore Hyde as if he wasn't there and had never even asked a question at all. Donna, Eric, and Fez brains on the other hand had finally caught up as all looked from where Hyde was standing to Kelso and then back again.

"KELSO!" Hyde yelled with more force, taking another step towards them, causing Donna and Fez to jump in their chairs, making the legs push slightly across the floor giving off the god-awful screech.

"Damn Hyde! I don't want to tell you OKAY. You're just going to hit me again and then when Brooke and Jackie find out I going to get hit by them too. Look, I don't know what it matters now, anyways." Kelso stood abruptly and stomped over to the trash as he spoke and disposed of the rest of his leftovers. Then walking over to the sink he dropped his plate and fork, but never once did he look at Hyde.

"What it matters…What it matters... You do realize that what you did Kelso completely screwed up both mine and Jackie future, right? That it if wasn't for you, and your little towel escapade, Jackie and I would be married right now. You own me the truth you moron, or I'm going to do a whole lot more than hit you."

Finally, those words must have hit a nerve somewhere inside of him because Kelso's head had jerked up bringing his eyes to contact Hyde's.

"FINE! It was Brooke okay! We did it in her car while Jackie watched Betsy in the motel room." Kelso yelled as well, throwing his hands up before, stomping around the kitchen counter a fire of his own starting to build in him.

"Then why the hell, were you still naked when I got there? And why did you tell me you slept with Jackie when I got back?" Hyde came back at him with the same amount of vigor, pointing at him with hand that was holding Jackie bright pink diary. He knew now, he knew when he when he had read Jackie diary that all of it was true, but to hear it coming from Kelso mouth as well… Hyde just needed to hear all of it so Hyde being Hyde he just kept pushing.

"I was naked because Betsy spilled a coke on me. I had to wash out my clothes and wash off all the stickiness. Then I remember I needed ice because when Brooke and I were having sex in the car, I was doing a new move, and it was making her so hot. It was awesome. But I hurt my hip, so I had to get some ice to put on it so I…" He started out with his hands showing from his chest all through his crotch area as to where the soda was that Betsy had spilled. Then was smiling like an idiot that he was as he demonstrated with his hip, his new move and where he had apparently needed to put said ice before Hyde shut him up.

"Okay, shut up. I get it. Answer the other question." Hyde cut him off, eager to hear what the explanation to his next question was.

"I don't want to." Michael stated as he ran his hand through his hair, his eyes back to avoiding Hyde's once again as he looked down at his feet. With a sigh of his own Hyde let his hands on fall back to his sides, and just cut to the point.

"Kelso, did Brooke tell you Jackie was pregnant?" He didn't look over at the table to see that look of shock on their faces when he asked the question, but he could hear a gasp of surprise and a quite "What the hell?!" muttered in Forman's squeaky voice coming from the direction of where they still sitting.

"Yeah." He confirmed, his head bobbing up and down slightly but his gaze still not meeting Hyde's.

Hyde wasn't a genius by any means. However, there were two facts he knew, first Michael Kelso let Hyde believe he'd slept with his girlfriend while knowing she was pregnant with his child and second Brooke the mother of the child that Kelso was the father of, knew about the whole damn thing. Now if Hyde was a betting man, if he had a few thousand dollars, he'd bet that if he'd read the next couple of pages of Jackie's journal, either she, Brooke or Kelso had come up with a plan to pass his child off as Kelso's. Well let's just push that theory, shall we?

"So, what? You were just going to pretend you were the father of my child?!" Hyde asked in a low intense tone, as he tossed Jackie's journal on the couch and made another unintentional step towards Kelso, hearing more than seeing the others coming to stand in the kitchen.

"I mean... it wasn't like you wouldn't have already thought it was mine any ways, right." Kelso shrugged and once again looked him dead in the eyes as he said the words, causing a fury in to raise up in Hyde that even surpassed the night Kelso had open the door of the motel that fateful night in Chicago.

"Fuck you man." And suddenly Eric and Donna were in front of him, grabbing his arms as he lunged forward, like they could hold him back if he really wanted to beat the hell out of Kelso.

"No Hyde, really, think about it. I'm not saying that to be mean, it's just the truth. Seriously think about Jackie, how pissed you were at her back then and how you were treating her. Do you think for a second you would have listened? Hell, the first thing you did was lay me out on the floor!" Kelso began to tear into him.

"That's crap man, I would have…" But Kelso just kept talking didn't even give him a chance to argue, to lie to the others, or if Hyde was being honest… lie to himself.

"God Hyde, Jackie had every intention of telling you when you got back. But you were home two seconds before you had your tongue down Sam's throat, and calling her your wife. You gave Sam everything Jackie ever asked from you. Do you really think, at that point, you would have listened to Jackie or me if either one of us had told you that she was pregnant, and the kid was yours?" Kelso continue shredding Hyde with words that hurt like hell because as much as he wanted them to be a lie. The truth was, if he hadn't been so pissed with Jackie in the first place, they wouldn't all be standing here now. Hyde's stomach started churning again as his chest tightened, with the thought of what he would had said or done to her if she had told him she was pregnant after Sam had showed up.

"Oh God…" Hyde groaned as he leaned over and placed his hands on his knees, the realization of just how brutal he may have been to his Doll hitting him, as flashes of her face assaulted him, in his memories for the crimes he HAD committed against her. He owed Jackie a whole lot more than some apologies and an I still love you, if he was ever going to make this right and get her back. Hell, at the point he wouldn't be surprised if Jackie never wanted to be his friend again much less, his girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.

Because the truth was regardless if Jackie had told him she was pregnant, or Kelso would have lied to him about being be his child's father, Hyde HAD been a MASSIVE prick and hurt Jackie in every conceivable way possible.

"Dude, Jackie even tried to talk to Donna and even she wouldn't stop following your lead long enough to listen. So, she called Brooke. It was Brooke who came up with the whole thing. She said it was the best solution to the situation for when Jackie started to show. But when Brooke came down to go with Jackie for her first sonogram, they couldn't find a heartbeat…so you know. That was that."

Eric's P.O.V.

That deafening silence from earlier in the morning was back in full force, this was all just too much. It was like Eric had fallen asleep on the plane ride home from Africa and woken up in the Twilight Zone. Ha, if only he was that lucky, he thought. Donna had her hand on Hyde's back who was still bent over, his hands clutching his knees, white as a sheet, looking as if he might pass out, puke, or at the point Eric wouldn't put it pass him doing both. If she had her hand there to give Hyde comfort, or to help keep Hyde standing, Eric didn't know.

Needing to do something other than stand there feeling like he could only watch as his friends grew up with fall apart around him, Eric took a couple of stepped over to the couch and picked up the pink dairy that had apparently caused this latest round of "Guess Who's at Fault?". Eric was racking his brain, trying to think of anything at all he could say or do at this point to make to better or at the very least get them back on track. When the silence was breaking once again by the same guy who started it.

"Hyde man, look, I'm sorry. About everything. Brooke helped to see how I was treating Jackie back then wasn't okay. It's the real reason I moved to Chicago. She said I had to shape up or I couldn't be in Betsy life anymore. I couldn't image what it would have been like, you know. Not having Betsy. So, I'm sorry for that too." Kelso said in a genuine and remorseful voice taking a few steps their way as Hyde pulled himself back up to his full height.

"Do you… Do you remember? When Jackie lost our baby?" Hyde was the toughest man he knew other than his father, but those words coming out of, you could see it hurt. Eric swallowed hard at those words and they weren't even coming out of his mouth.

"It happened the weekend after you and Sam came back. July 6th after the 4th, she was 11 weeks, it's in her book there. It's a very sad one to read. She kept the picture they took, she has it taped next to her entry. Two weeks later, she met her secret friend behind Grooves and a week after that she started taking her happy pills and went out with me and Donna to the bar." Fez brought attention to himself and the fact that once again he has been reading all of Jackie thoughts and secrets. Eric could see Hyde's tense up once more, although it seemed he and Kelso seemed to working their way to peace, from the look on Hyde's face now the same was not true for Fez. In fact, if Eric were Fez, he would be looking for a place to take cover.

"If you ask me Hyde…" Fez began to ramble.

"You know what Fez… I didn't ask you! Chances are I NEVER will ask you anything ever again. Stay the hell away from me and all things Jackie from now on if you know what's good for you. You got it?" By the time Hyde was done talking the top of his ear were red, his hands were in fist again and the vein in his forehead was bouncing. So, Eric counted as a blessing that Hyde had simply turned around and headed back to Jackie room once he had finished.

"I'm going to go with him and grab Jackie's clothes so we can get out of here, okay." Donna stated somewhat quietly patting my shoulder, either to give herself strength before she faced the beast that was awaiting her in Jackie or before leaving me with the idiots here, I didn't know. Guess it didn't really much matter because it seemed to give both as little be of cougar.

"Yeah, sounds good." I turned my head to nod my approval and give her a small smile.

"I don't understand what he is so mad about." Fez began to whine almost the instant that Donna shut Jackie bedroom door and I really had to fight every fiber in me not to roll my eyes.

"Dude, Fez you lied to him, to all of us about knowing Jackie was taking something that could her. That is NOT okay." I had to explain to him again, for at least the third time tonight. He had to understand this was a bad thing, right. I am mean, Donna, Hyde, even Kelso was apologized and feeling remorse at this point.

"And took advantaged of the situation to use it to date her." Well, is that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. NO, Eric stop now is not the time to be make jokes about the fact that the group man whore is lecturing Fez. Especially, when this is Jackie of all people we are talking about here. Huh, who would have ever thought? Go away to Africa for just a little while I tell you…

"Oh, and you knew about the baby and lied about everything and didn't tell Hyde." Kelso is on a roll tonight ladies and gentlemen.

"Yeah, but so did you, you son of bitch." Fez whipped back with one of his usual response and Eric was about to step in when Kelso fired off again this time a little more heated.

"Fez, were you not just standing right here! First, of all Jackie and Brooke told me to. Second, of all I was hit like a lot man! And it hurt a lot of people. Third, I just told Hyde I was sorry and I meant it. Plus, it wasn't like I read it in Jackie diary and just didn't tell, that's just a knew level of low, right Eric?" Kelso gestured to Eric, like it was now his to depart some kind of wisdom on what true evil was, and while he did have much knowledge on the certain subjects of dark overlord Eric was sure if that would exact apply here.

"Well, I am mean… I'm no Darth Vader but…yeah, it's pretty bad Fez. That's something even I wouldn't do to like Lori man. And come on, we all know how I feel about Lori." Eric was looking for something, any kind of sign of emotion of regret to register on Fez face. Still, there was nothing that he could see. No, aha moment like the one Hyde had back in the basement, or again here in the apartment. No, oh crap no, like one Donna had at the hospital. Or that I wish I never, like Kelso just had no more fifteen minutes ago.

"Forman, let's move we've been gone to long as it is." Hyde demanded, already standing at the front door with Donna preach beside him, sunglasses firmly back in place on his face, in his hands a single black t-shirt and a pill bottle, and Donna had a small purple duffle bag Eric was sure had everything Red requested inside. Looking down at the pink diary still in his grasp Eric nodded, it was time to go. They had gotten what they came for and then some.