Elizabeth watched from her office as the gate activated, praying that it was the rescue team. All she felt like doing was running down the stairs, being the first one to greet them but she knew she couldn't. Instead, she slowly made her way into the control room and asked if they had received any signal.

"Colonel Sheppards IDC, Dr Weir." the technician informed her happily.

Makingher way slowly down the stairs, the men started to come through the gate. She waited for him to come through, just knowing he was safe would be enough she told herself then she could go back to work.

John was the last to come through the gate. As soon as he was safely back in Atlantis, his eyes darted around looking for her.He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help himself. His eyes sought her out almost immediately. Standing at the bottom of the steps, she looked a picture of professionalism as she talked to Major Lorne. It was as if she felt his eyes on her because she looked up and their gaze locked for a moment before she quickly looked away.

John sauntered over to her just as she finished up with Taylor. "Colonel, welcome home." she whispered before turning and walking back up the stairs. He wanted to grab her and pull her back to him, wrap his arms…'No John, don't even think like that.' he told himself. Watching her gohe felt like she had put a barrier up between them in the time he had been gone. What he couldn't understand was why?

As she climbed the stairs, she turned back and said briskly, "Debriefing in one hour."

'Enough time to get cleaned up,' he thought before stridding of to his quarters.

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Elizabeth watched his retreating back and cursed herself for acting the way she just did. When she had finally seen him come through the gate physically fine the relief had washed over her. She cared about the other members too but this was different, stronger and it scared her. She only felt this when John came through the gate and it made her feel guilty. So she forced herself to act indifferent, she had to cut these feelings off at the knees before they started interfering with her judgement.

John walked out of the briefing more confused than ever. For over an hour he had tried to catch her eye but each time she looked away, he just didn't understand or maybe he did.He realised that after dangerous missions she tended to become distantand finally he put it down anxiety, she was worried he hadn't been coming back. 'She's just doing what I don't want to do,' he thought. 'Shutting me out before this 'thing' between us develops into something else.'

He wandered over to her office wanting to…he didn't reallyknow what he wanted but he just had to talk to her, understand where she was coming from.

He lazed against the door frame just watching her for a moment before knocking. Like always she had piles of paperwork on her desk that she would attempt to get through. 'Here goes nothing' John thought before stepping into the room.

Elizabeth heard the knock but didn't look up, she knew who it was. He walked slowly over and lowered himself into the seat on the otherside of her desk.Glancing up she caught him staring at her.

"Colonel Sheppard! What can I do for you?" she said in her professional voice.

"Elizabeth, what's with the rank?" John enquired.

"Nothing...but that'swho you are to me." she murmered avoiding his eyes.

"Is it really?" he asked, his tone also soft

What does he want me to say she thought. 'I need to be tough, keep it professional.I'm his boss'

"What do you want me to say John? I am your boss." she stated louder than what she had met to. Johns head snapped up and his eyes clouded over.

"Okay, if that's how you want it." he shrugged, trying to make it look as if he didn't really care.

"John, there will always be this barrier between us." she said quietly, trying to gauge his reaction.

He looked at her for a moment and thenstood, "I guess so. I'll see you later?" he said as he strode out.

"John…" she called after him, but he didn't even look back and that hurt. She lent forward and rested her head on her desk, feeling a headache coming on. What was she doing? This 'thing' growing between them was getting dangerous and she knew (well hoped) it wasn't one sided.

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John stormed out of Elizabeth's office, his mind racing with what she had said. He thought they had more than just a professional relationship, a friendship even. No. They could have even more than that! All the secret looks, lingering touches, it wasn't just on his side was it?

He needed to cool off, get his thoughts together before he went back and tried to find out exactly what she was thinking and why she was doing this. He knew she had to be strong, had to be indifferent, in control. It was a given for any leader exspecially one as good as Elizabeth. But he thought the connection they shared allowed him to see the other side of her, the where she doesn't have the mask in place, where he can see her weaknesses and the one where she could open up to him. The more he thought about it, the more he realised there was something going on. Was it Caldwell? Pushing for his job again, pushing for Elizabeth to make some big changes. Maybe he was just waiting for Elizabeth or himself to make a mistake so he could take over? All of these questions flew through his head and if he wasn't sure of anything else then he was sure of this: he had to get to the bottom of whatever was effecting Elizabeth.

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Elizabeth rubbed her eyes and glanced up from the report she was reading. Atlantis was quiet,the night shift making little noise. She stood and slowly walked over to the window overlooking the gate room, it still amazed her that they were here in the lost city of Atlantis. She didn't want to do anything that may jepordise all of the good work they had achieved and would achieve. This was one of the main reasons why she had to stop this 'thing' with John. There were a lot of good reasons why she shouldn't do anything about the attraction shefelt towards him. This time she needed to follow her head of her heart.

Needing a break she walked out of her office and out onto the balcony. Elizabeth liked it at night, the stars twinkled mischieviously and the lights from the city shone magicly. She always felt relaxed out here, it was the one place she could go to get away from it all.

She felt his presence before she heard him, "Elizabeth?"

She closed her eyes because she knew she wasn't up to this confrontation yet. She knew he had come to push her for answers, answers she didn't feel ready to give him.

Elizabeth turned her head and motioned for him to come over. Standing beside her in silence, it seemed like hours before either of them spoke whereas only a few minutes had passed.

"I need to know what happened earlier." he stated.

"Nothing happened…I was just telling you how it is."she responded firmly.

"You know that's not how it is…" he pushed.

"John, don't go there."

"Why not? Am I hitting a nerve?" his voice held anger, anger at her. She knew he didn't understand why she was putting this distance between them but hoped she could make him understand without telling him everything.

"If Caldwell has been pressuring you then I will..." he continued before she cut him off. So thats what he thought! That Caldwell was after a promotion?

"No John, he hasn't done anything recently that has to do with this."

"But you do admit, he has to do with it in someway?" he questioned, his brows furrowing as he tried to think of possibilities.

"To put it blunt John, You and I are colleagues, nothing more." she stated.

He stared at her long and hard, letting what she had said sink in.

"Explain it to me why you are doing this now? Why not from the start, when there was nothing between us?" he asked softly.

She could see the confusion and hurt clouding his eyes and wished she didn't have to do this when all she wanted was to have his arms wrapped around her telling her everything was going to be okay.

"I've…" she cleared her throught as the words wouldn't come out "I've realised just how much of a liability our growing friendship…has had on the leadership of this mission and I can't let it continue."

"How can a friendship compromise this command?" he asked.

"You know this is turning into more than friendship." She looked up at him and moved to the other side of the balcony; putting some, distance between them might make it easier to hold her resolve.

"Don't walk away Elizabeth, I need to know why you think our friendship is a liability?" he stayed where he was but his eyes followed her pacing.

"What do you want me to say John?" she queried her voice strained as she became agitated.

"The truth!"

"You want to know the truth? The truth is that everytime you leave on a mission, I can't sleep! The truth is that everytime our eyes meet I feel giddy. The truth is that this 'thing' we have going here is far more than professional and it clouds my judgement over missions. Now that's the truth." she whispered looking away from him as she realised just what she had given away.

John stared at her as she told him exactly what was bothering her. She looked away when she was finished and he knew she was embaressed at what she had let slip. She leant against the wall and closed her eyes waiting for his reaction.

"You think its only you that feels this attraction?" he murmered.

This caused Elizabeths head to snap up and their eyes locked, neither looking away.

In a moment of weakness they moved towards each other, John faster then Elizabeth and before he knew it he had her backed against the wall. His lips touched hers softly at first as if asking permission but then as hunger took over it became more passionate and harder. She threw her head back as his lips left her mouth and nibbled down the side of her face. This was what she wanted but she knew it shouldn't be happening. His mouth moved back to her mouthand he slipped his tounge in. Moaningshe ran her fingers through his hair, and they couldn't get enough of each other.

Pulling apart for air, both breathed heavily. He grinned and moved his head back in but before his lips had touched hers again he felt her hands pushing him away. Moving back slightly, John looked intently at her, waiting for her to explain.

She looked into his eyes and knew what she was going to say wasn't going to go down well at all.

"We can't!" she stated simply.

"Why?" he whipped back.

"Its not right." she claimed.

It had bloody felt right to him, more right than anything else lately. Seeing the disbelief in his eyes, she needed to make him believe waht she was saying.

"John, it won't happen again!"

As if suddenly understanding what she was saying, he knew she needed to cut him off before they did let it go to far.

"I….I don't want this to effect how we work together, but you have to realise its better for everyone."

Who was she trying to convince? How could they just kiss like that? and thenbrush it aside like it was meaningless?

"So how do you want it to be?" his voice coming out steadier than what he had thought.

"We have to stop this attraction before it compromises a mission, our jobs or even Atlantis" she told him.

"So we work together and that's it?" he questioned.

She nodded slightly, "No more flirting or secret glances."

"Okay" John agreed because he knew arguing wasn't going to help at all.

"Is that all?" he asked quietly

"Yes…" she responded in flat tones, the passionate woman of a few minutes ago all but gone.

"Good night. I guess i will see you at work tomorrow?" he stated emphasising 'work'.Turning away from her he strode off the balcony,how could he sleep now when so much had just happened.

She watched his retreating back and felt tears well up behind her eyes. She had known she had to do this but he made it just that little harder by kissing her. No she couldn't blame it all on John, she was equally at fault. She just hoped now that by cutting it off, it would die and not continue to grow.