Author's Note: Okay, I'm finally back! Sorry for the long time lag, but I've been really busy with my 30-page senior thesis, which is now officially turned in (yay!), and soccer. This chapter goes out to kratos lover1! If any of you have never read her stories, GO READ THEM! Her OC Storm is pretty much the most awesome OC in history. Speaking of whom, she's in this chapter too, as per kratos lover1's request. So without any further ado, let's get started!

Disclaimer: I do not own ToS or any of its characters. Also, I DO NOT OWN STORM! SHE BELONGS TO KRATOS LOVER1! There, now you can't say I stole her. I would never ever ever do that.

Chapter 5: Kratos lover1 stole Yuan's Cape!

After spending a week in an insane asylum to recover his senses from his last cape theft, Yuan finally returned to the Renegade Base in Triet for some peace and quiet. He walked into his office and sagged into his soft, leather chair with a weary sigh. Botta walked in to report to his boss. "Sir, everything is in order just as you left it." He smirked and added, "So…how was your little vacation?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Yuan muttered, sending Botta a death glare for bringing up his detainment at the loony hut. "The next time I get my hands on Kratos, he'll be the one having mood swings." Botta gulped. That couldn't be good. "Those crazy doctors gave me a shot every time I screamed from hearing a cricket chirp."

"Well…uh…with all due respect sir, it's not every day someone comes in claiming to be haunted by the ghost of a cricket that was actually a crazy authoress' pet," Botta said, trying to cheer him up. (A/N: I still don't own Squishey's ghost, by the way.)

"And to make matters worse, they actually tried to make me give up my cape!" Yuan exclaimed indignantly, hugging his cape around his shoulders. "They said it was a 'physical manifestation of my lack of security!'" Botta just raised his eyebrows. It wouldn't help matters to try and protest. "But I digress. I'm just glad to be back home away from all these crazy authoresses."

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Yuan bolted upright in his chair, his body going rigid. "Who's there? Identify yourself!" he barked, his hand going to his double-bladed sword (A/N: I don't know what that weapon of his in the game is called.).

"Yuan? It's me, Storm," a familiar voice called from behind the door.

Yuan's eyes widened. Storm never came to visit him anymore, so what was the occasion? Still, he knew he could always trust her. "Come in, Storm." The door opened, and Storm walked in alone, smiling kindly. He felt his heartbeat speed up at seeing the object of his affections standing in front of him. He managed to keep his composure and asked, "What brings you here today? And where's Zelos?"

"Oh, he's busy with a meeting with the king of Meltokio. I was kinda bored, so I thought I'd come visit you!" Storm replied cheerfully, almost a bit too cheerfully… She walked around his office, looking around at nothing in particular. "So what have you been up to these days?"

Yuan groaned. "You'll never believe this, but lately a bunch of people have been trying to steal my cape," he replied, standing up. "They always succeed too. At least they give it back. I've even been haunted by the freakin' ghost of a cricket!"

Storm leaned back against the wall and started laughing. "That's hilarious! You must be really dense to let so many people steal your cape!"

"Hey! It's not funny! It's very upsetting!" Yuan yelled defensively. "How would you feel if someone stole your cape?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't have a security capey that I obsess over!" Storm replied between laughs. "You're just gonna have to be more careful if you want to hold onto that thing," she added, poking him in the chest. "Oh my! Look at the time!" Storm exclaimed, looking at a watch on her wrist that wasn't there. "I've gotta go. See ya!" With that, she hurried out the open door of his office with a wave.

"What was that all about?" Yuan asked, turning to face Botta.

"I couldn't tell you, sir," he replied with a shrug. Then his eyes widened and he stammered, "Um…sir…you…you might want to…"

"Stop stammering and spit it out already!" Yuan exclaimed, his patience wearing thin. Botta pointed to his shoulder, and Yuan's mouth fell open. It couldn't be…

"MY CAPE'S GONE!"

Somewhere on the other side of Symphonia…

"Hey, did you hear something?" a fisherman asked his buddy.

"Nope, not me. Why?"

"I coulda sworn I heard someone scream about a stolen cape…"

"You're crazy."

"Yeah, probably right."

At Dirk's house…

"Not again…" Kratos muttered in exasperation, unfurling his wings.

"Where ya be off to?" Dirk asked.

"Oh, just to offer some assistance to a friend," Kratos replied nonchalantly, taking to the skies for Triet. "What has that crazy half-elf gotten himself into this time?"

In the Triet Desert…

Storm rounded a corner and found her accomplice hiding behind a boulder. "Mission accomplished!" Storm exclaimed with a laugh, giving her friend a high five. And guess who it was. None other than kratos lover1!

"That was awesome! Your distraction was perfect! He didn't notice at all!" kratos lover1 added. She proudly wore Yuan's cape as proof of her accomplishment. Both girls burst out laughing again.

Just then Lloyd walked around the corner and saw Storm and some girl he didn't recognize laughing and carrying on. "Hey, sis. Who's that?" he asked.

"None of your business," Storm retorted.

Lloyd noticed Yuan's cape and said, "Hey! Isn't that Yu-"

"Oh, Lloyd, Yuan wanted me to tell you that he has some cookies in his office specially made just for you," kratos lover1 interrupted.

"YAY! COOKIES!" Lloyd exclaimed as he immediately forgot about seeing Yuan's stolen cape and made a mad dash for the Renegade Base.

Back at the Renegade Base…

Yuan was tearing the base apart top to bottom looking for his lost cape. "Where is it? Where is it? WHERE IS IT!" he wailed as he ran into some random room. Stuff came flying out of the open doorway. "I MUST FIND IT!" he yelled as he ran into another room. More stuff came flying out. Botta just sighed and sweat dropped. It was no use trying to get through to Yuan when he was in this emotionally troubled state.

Suddenly Yuan poked his head out of the latest room he had been pillaging and muttered savagely, "Someone's in my office!" He charged out of the room and down the hallway, nearly bowling over Botta in the process, and burst through the door of his office to find none other than Lloyd snooping around.

"Hey, I thought there were cookies in here," Lloyd pouted.

"LLOYD! SO IT WAS YOU WHO STOLE MY CAPE!" Yuan roared in his demonic voice.

Lloyd turned around and cowered before the enraged half-elf. "…Meep! IT WASN'T ME!"

"THE CRIMINAL ALWAYS RETURNS TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!" Yuan yelled in his demonic voice, taking a step towards Lloyd. Lloyd shrank back against the desk as far as he could go. "NOW RETURN MY CAPE OR FEEL MY ETERNAL WRATH!"

"What's with all the commotion?" Yuan turned around to see Kratos standing in the doorway.

"DAD! SAVE ME FROM THE CRAZY HALF-ELF!" Lloyd begged.

"I found these two in the middle of the desert. I believe they have something of yours, Yuan," Kratos stated calmly, stepping aside to let Storm and kratos lover1 trudge guiltily into the room. Kratos crossed his arms and tapped his foot in his angry father posture. "Now, girls, what do you say to Yuan?"

"We're sorry," Storm and kratos lover1 chorused. Kratos lover1 tossed Yuan's cape back to him. Yuan immediately forgot his worries and huggled his long-lost capey.

As they turned to leave, kratos lover said, "Actually…WE'RE NOT SORRY! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" With that, she and Storm beat a hasty retreat out of the base.

Lloyd looked at his father wide-eyed. "Uh…Dad?"

Kratos muttered, "Storm is so grounded…"

End chapter 5

Author's Note: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Another chapter done! Like I said, most of this was kratos lover1's idea. I hope you liked it! The only thing I added was Kratos scolding them and then threatening to ground Storm. Oh, and the whole insane asylum diversion was mine as well. Well, please review and tell me what you think!