Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.
A/N: To clarify to all those of you who are freaking out, this is not the end of the universe I created with Nine to Five. I have a few other stories planned (See profile page for more details). I'm hoping to at least finish two more, but I'm trying for the whole kit and kaboodle. Some thought I ended Nine to Five prematurely, but I felt that at the destruction of Vinyl Vintage and the turning points presented in each of the couples relationships ended this segment of their lives. The honeymoon period is over.
I was going to wait and post this Monday, but ish PMed me to encourage me to post earlier. Plus I was bored. So thank her if you enjoy this chapter.
Epilogue
to Nine to Five: The Toad, the Witch, and the Burning Wardrobe, Part
I
Sunlight flew threw the drapes of the window and danced on the closed eyelids of Wanda Maximoff. In response, her eyes fluttered open. Her head pounded like Freddy's footsteps as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked around: She was in her bedroom at the Brotherhood house. How did I get here? Why does my head hurt like a mother . . . ? Then her memories of Saturday night came back to her. She screamed in anguish and the house shook.
Downstairs the other residents of the household were lounging about like any other Monday when they heard Wanda scream and the subsequent rumblings of the building. Pietro Maximoff's face grew pale.
Lance Alvers noticed Pietro's reaction and smirked. "Wanda's up. Guess you better find a good hiding spot, fearless leader." Lance scooped another spoonful of soggy, stale Apple Jacks into his mouth and promptly sat down in the good chair Pietro had run from.
Again an angst filled teenager descended onto the land of "Magnus Caesar." Anger muffled all of her other emotions: hurt, betrayal, naivety, and heartbreak. They all swelled outward from her like the bump on the back of her head she received Saturday night courtesy of Sabertooth.
Again she confidently marched toward the entrance of the building with the taste of vengeance on the tip of her tongue. The difference was that this time it was daylight, and she doubted that she had the element of surprise. In fact, she knew that they would be ready for her. But she didn't care. Even if she were to fall, she would make them feel an inkling of the pain the residents of the base had caused her.
She crossed the ditch where she and St. John Allerdyce had taken pictures of a magnetized Colossus. That enjoyable memory had been tattered. She came to the front entrance, which was ajar. The Scarlet Witch did not hesitate. She stomped into the entryway, but stopped when she reached the common room. Wanda ground her teeth in frustration. It was empty. The only thing that remained was the broken coffee table, the smashed VCR/DVD Player, and a small pile of chimney bricks on the floor.
"NNNOOOOOO!" She screamed and all of the doors slammed, the windows broke, and the chandelier crashed to the ground. The fall of the chandelier knocked something that was lying in the hole of the chimney to the ground. Suspiciously the witch neared it. She picked it up and a smile broke through the gloom shortly before being re-consumed. It was the DVD of The Princess Bride. The movie she and John had been watching before Sabertooth wrecked the player. The movie that John continued acting out using fire characters and funny voices. Out of curiosity she opened the case. Inside was a note:
He's lying, please believe me. –John
She didn't know how long she stood there looking at that note. Her total anger was subsiding as confusion and longing were fighting for rule. A couple of weeks ago, no one would be able to convince her that those feelings even existed in her being. Her goal, her mission, was clear: Destroy the man who was supposed to love her unconditionally but instead rejected and abandoned her. She had seen her life as a series of steps to achieve that goal, and life beyond its completion was shadow. John had shown her more to life. Instead of helping her complete her mission, he helped her try and complete herself and experience all of the things she had missed while being imprisoned most of her teenage years. He had given her more things to look forward too, and have fun doing. He had tried to change her mission. The anger insider her swelled up for a counter attack. Because my father ordered him to! The anger was quelled some as she reread the note again: Or did he?
"Hey, can you come sign for these?" A man in a brown uniform called out from the open door, interrupting her thoughts.
The Witch turned and glared.
"Sign for the packages," the man repeated.
Wanda craned her neck and saw three cases behind him. John's vegemite. "Sure." She smiled and took the small computer and plastic writing utensil. When I find him I can drown him in it. Maybe I should stop somewhere and see if I can find some purple peeps too, she plotted.
The delivery guy snatched up his computer as soon as she had finished and, Quik like the rabbit, he sped out the door, never turning his back on the Witch with the evil grin spread across her face. A mile away from the destroyed base, the delivery man started breathing again.
Again Wanda looked at the note in her hand and her grin faded. A raven flew in one of the broken windows and cawed at her. She looked at the big bird on the bent chandelier annoyingly, then sighed. She could do nothing here. The Scarlet Witch left, confused and unfulfilled.
Piotr carried the last crate from the moving van into their new ski-base. He plopped it on the floor at the feet of his two teammates and friends. St. John had sprawled himself across the plastic covered couch and Remy was attempting to get comfortable sitting atop a couple of wooden crates. Magneto strolled into the room, which would soon be the common room. He looked around, surveying the room.
"So how do you enjoy the new base?" Magneto asked his minions, although he didn't really care if they did like it or not.
John glared angrily at Magneto's happy tone of voice. The only words he could manage to get out without expletives were: "It's too bloody cold."
Remy agreed. "Cajuns an' snow do not get along."
"That's nice. Know that your opinions were heard and discarded." Magneto glanced at St. John. "Especially yours, St. John. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have had to move."
St. John's face remained frozen in a furious state. Bullshit! Wanda found our base on her own long before I ever took her home. He's just pissed, because his daughter has…had a relationship with me. But you made sure that was screwed up straight away. grrr I wish Remy hadn't taken my lighter for safety reasons. Now she won't even acknowledge my presence. Not one sexy death glare or a leisurely hex bolt. He sighed, remembering the fire in the eyes of his ex-girlfriend. The fire he could watch until the end of time and never want to control it. Just watch, witness. I'm so pathetic. At least the Cajun is with me in the girl trouble category.
"I want this place cleaned and unpacked by 8 o'clock," Magneto announced to Colossus, Gambit, Pyro, Sabertooth, and Mastermind. "Then you will all meet in the war room for a briefing on next weeks activities." Magneto dramatically turned so that his cape whipped around him. No one else moved. After a few steps he turned back around to face his men. "What are you waiting for?"
"Which room is the war room, sir?" Colossus politely asked.
Magneto's eyes grew slightly wider after he realized his mistake, though he would never admit it was one. "Uh, that room over there." He pointed to a large room off the kitchen that anyone else living there would make a mess hall. But being home to a bunch of bachelors, who needs a dining room? They'd never actually eat at a table unless they had to.
Magneto started to leave dramatically again when he noticed that Mastermind, aka Jason Wyngarde started to carry some boxes into another room. "Not you Jason, I need to discuss some plans with you in my study." Jason obediently put down his box and followed the regal leader further into the base.
It didn't take long for the boys to get tired of unpacking. "Bloody hell," John announced as he looked the room filled with crates and boxes which he and the others had just spent an hour moving around. "We didn't even make a dent in this. I'm going to take my shit out and put everything else in the corner and throw a sheet over it. Who's with me?"
"I do not want to anger Magneto," Piotr said. "Besides there is little else to do."
"There's plenty of other stuff to do!" John argued but in his mind he couldn't think of anything. But he was sure he didn't want to waste the day in there, in the dome.
"Non. Not only is dis base farther away from civilization dan de last one, but it's surrounded by damn snow. Leavin' de base isn't worth trudging d'rough dat white stuff. De only place around for miles is the ski lodge, de uh... Ararose or somethin' like dat," Remy sided with Piotr.
"Yeah, that's it. I could learn how to ski. How's that for something to do?" John refused to be bested.
Remy burst out laughing. "You? Skiing! Dat's something I'd pay to see." Remy stood up off his crate and got back to work as he continued to laugh. Piotr did the same shortly after..
I'll show them. And John quickly searched through the mess and found his own belongings. He took his boxes to the very end of the hallway on the opposite side of the base as Magneto's study and room.
"I claim this land in the name of Australia!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. He took out his emergency book of matches and burnt the Australian flag into the door, southern cross of stars and all. St. John named it after his favorite Australian bird. "It shall henceforth be called Wampoo." From a garbage bag, the firebug pulled out his Sponge-Bob Square-Pants sheet, then a plain white sheet. With the white sheet still in hand he went back to the new common room and tossed it haphazardly over some crates. A few minutes later a gust of cold air flew through the dome and the front doors slammed.
Another gust of cold air entered the base again at 8:13 pm. St. John didn't even bother to wipe off the layers of snow that covered him as he strolled through the base, leaving puddles of cold snowy water behind him. The "war room" was silent when he entered. The whole team looked at him with sympathy and wonder as he took a seat next to Remy as if everything was normal. John finally looked up at Magneto standing at the head of the table. He looks like he's about to shit a brick! he thought and started laughing internally. John was surprised at his apathy toward the anger of the older mutant. Magneto continued to glare at the pyromaniac and John looked back at him with a smile on his face.
After a few more minutes of silence John put up a mitten hand and smiled and waved at his "leader." "G'day." If this was a cartoon, steam would be rolling out of Magneto's ears. Magneto took a deep breath and remembered his meditation training.
"Pyro," Magneto addressed John through clenched teeth. "What time is it?"
"I donna know," he honestly answered. "8:30 ish?"
"And what time did I say the briefing in the war room started?" His teeth were grinding now.
"Don't remember," John told him. "You said something like 'unpack by eight and then we all shall meet in the war room for brie and nut cookies but never said when." John treaded on thin ice as he mocked the master of magnetism. John dramatically glanced around the table. "I thought that brie and nut cookies were a strange combination, but who am I to say no to food? Where are the brie and cookies? I'm hungry. Actually hot cocoa sounds better." John pushed back his chair and tossed his wet hat and mittens on the table. "Anyone else want some?" Piotr and Jason looked like they were going to say something but the look on Magneto's face stopped them.
The metal chair that John had just been sitting in elevated, swept back underneath John. John's first reaction was too grab onto the seat of the chair to prevent himself from falling, which is just what Magneto wanted. A few seconds later John was tossed across the room and the back of the chair slammed into the wall next to the kitchen door.
"Bloody hell!" John shouted, trying not to sound phased. "You could have just 'Yes, John. I would love a mug. With extra marshmallows too.'"
Magneto lost it. "THERE WILL BE NO HOT CHOCOLATE AND NO COOKIES! THIS IS A MEETING YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! COMING IN TWENTY MINUTES LATE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!" The legs of the chair bent upward to hug John in the seat which was still several feet above the ground. "AND TRACKING SNOW INTO THE DOME IS NOT ACCEPTABLE EITHER! DID YOU WANT THE PLACE TO RUST!" Remy stifled a laugh. "AND I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF CLEAR THAT ALL EVERYTHING WAS TO BE UNPACKED BY 8 PM! WHY IS THAT PILE OF CRATES I ASSIGNED TO YOU TO UNPACK STILL SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COMMON ROOM?"
"What crates?" John played dumb. The legs grew tighter around his lap and John squirmed a little more. The chair flew out the room and hovered in front of a pile of crates half covered by John's white sheet. The crates weren't in the corner like John had thought they were, but almost right in the center of the room. Damn this room is bigger than I thought. John continued to be a smart ass, "I still don't see these crates you speak of." Magneto's face grew red and angry. "Are you okay, Mags? I know you are seeing things, but you are looking flush now too. Have you been taking all of your medication?"
"I don't have time for this!" Magneto shouted and brought the chair back into the war room. "If I did not need you for the upcoming mission I would have put you into the infirmary for you insolence. You are to sit down, shut up, and pay attention for the rest of the meeting. Afterwards you are to finish unpacking and be confined to your room. And find the answering machine."
"Remy covered for his two teammates (1). "I d'ink it broke in de move."
John looked down at the puddles forming under his wet mittens and started silently playing with the water.
"Did you hear me!" Magneto banged his fists on the table.
"Yes, dad. I heard you. I'm grounded," John mocked. Magneto growled and continued with the briefing.
Magneto took to the head of the table and took a deep breath. He started talking, John wasn't paying attention. He was playing with the water he dripped on the table. It wasn't until Magneto called out his name at the end of his powerpoint presentation full of graphs and maps that John was zapped back into reality.
"PYRO! Do you have any questions about your mission?" the annoyed leader asked.
John looked cluelessly around to Piotr and Remy. Remy winked and nodded to his spaced out friend. "Uh, nope. No questions at all," John replied, knowing that Remy would fill him in later.
"Fine. Dismissed." The master of magnetism sighed. Magneto knew he was lying but did not feel like using the energy to explain things again. He also didn't know how to go backwards in the powerpoint slide show.
John sped up his walk a little to catch Remy before he went to his room to pine over Rogue. "Hey mate. What's my mission again?"
"You are going to stand on top of de Bay River Bridge an' cause a distraction while I steal something," Remy told the firebug.
"That's it! Bucket Head made all those graphs for a distraction and theft job? Talk about overkill." John continued to walk next to Remy.
"That wasn' the whole meetin'. Just the important part concerning you. Toothy and Piotr have another mission. Some other current events goin' on wit' mutants. D'en d'ere was de chores chart."
"Do we have to take turns cleaning Toothy's litter box? 'Cause I'm not going near that thing. I'm not that insane."
Remy stopped outside his room and turned to John. "John you gotta stop pissin' off Magneto. He's not going to take it much longer, and I don' know what he'll do to you when he fully snaps."
"Awww." John pretended to get tears in his eyes, "You do love me, Remy." John hugged the Cajun.
Remy lifted his arms then shoved away the Aussie. "I'm serious, John. You either have to stop it or get out while you're still breathin'. I don' think Mags is the kind of guy to come after you if you leave now before you done anything really stupid, but he will hurt you if you stay and keep this up."
"I think you're being serious enough for the both of us," John told him.
Remy shook his head. "I've worked for guys who would have snapped you're neck ten times already. You don' want to push Magneto much further."
"Wow, ten times? I must have had a pretty durable neck."
"Please leave John," Remy asked one last time.
"Will you come with me?" John showed a little fear for the first time in their conversation. "Not like what you want is here either."
Remy wished he could consider the offer but because of the benefits he received with his employment with Magneto, he knew he couldn't. "No, I can' leave. I'm trapped here like Piotr. You can still get out, d'ough."
"And go where? No money, no shelter -" John said.
"Better d'an no life," Remy told him.
"I don't have a life," the heartbroken John said. "Mags made sure of that." The pyromaniac thought for a second. "You know, he won't be able to hide from her forever. And I want to be here when she destroys him."
Remy looked sympathetically at his friend. "Don' get killed before d'en, mon ami." Remy turned and headed into his room. He turned back for a second. "An' if you ever touch my CD's again I'll be de one to snap your neck (2)."
John stifled a fake sob. "And I thought you loved me!" John turned and ran down the hall and sought refuge in the land of Wampoo.
"Honey, I'm home!" St. John called as he slammed the door to the dome and stomped the snow off himself. It was his third time snow boarding and he was getting rather good. Snow boarding almost totally distracted him from his miserable love life. Almost. John kicked off his boots and started to unzip his jacket as Magneto happen to walk grumpily by.
"What do you think you are doing?" his boss shouted.
The Aussie replied with question in his voice, "Talking off my jacket instead of rusting dome?"
"No, with this!" Magneto summoned John's ski lift pass from the zipper on John's coat to his hand.
"Nothing right now, but if you stick it to your forehead and spin around really fast a couple of times it will force me to laugh," John insolently remarked. "It's a lift pass. To use the ski lift to get to the base from the bottom of the mountain," he used his "talking to a three-year old voice."
"Do not be smart with me. You can not go around wearing this. If someone got their hands on this they could easily find our where the base is," Magneto told him.
"As easy as looking us up in the phone book?"
Magneto grew red again as he had been lately when working with John, who grew more daring and defiant as of late. "You will not wear this when leaving the base."
"Then how do you expect me to get back to this dingo dung pile if I can't use the lift. My powers will just melt the snow, not bring forth big, cold, tacky balls to take me places." John grew angry now.
Magneto took a deep breath. "You will wear this on the outside of your clothing only when necessary. It must be kept hidden other times, especially on missions where it could be caught on camera."
"Fine, fine." John was sick of dealing with Magneto, snatched his pass from his boss's hand as he passed, and stomped to his room.
Jason came up behind Magneto. "Are you sure he will do what you want him to do?" The door to Wampoo slammed.
Magneto smiled. "I'm positive everything will go as planned."
(1) Piotr and John destroyed the answering machine in Chapter 19 – So, What's the Verdict?
(2) See Chapter 20.
A/N: Next up: The uncut version of "The Toad, the Witch, and the Wardrobe!"