Chapter 6

The Mighty Wyvern General crashed onto ground merely yards from the angsty mage. He looked on the aristocratic side, but deeply disturbed.

"Haha! Lookie here, I guess it's my lucky day that Queen Serra would give me such an... interesting target. I think I may actually have fun playing with you" he grinned.

"You know what? Just leave me the hell alone, Narshen. You may think you can just have your way with me like you would with all the children you randomly abduct in the middle of the night and "play" with them, but you should realize when you're outmatched. I'm having a bad day right now, and I don't see any reason to spare anyone that pisses me off... especially an aristocratic pedophile feeling the need to rape me" Soren groaned.

"Hmph, well, I'm glad that you've heard of my reputation" Narshen grinned with idiotic pride. "Yes, I'm definitely going to have fun with this one. You're my most interesting playmate, yet!"

Suddenly, sick, twisted fantasies ran through the Wyvern Knight's mind as he drooled with anticipation.

"Oh hell, you're thinking about doing messed stuff to me right now, aren't you?" Soren said with intense aggravation.

Especially when the angsty mage discovered that he was indeed straight, Soren wasn't about to let some unbalanced freak have his way with him. He proceeded to raise his free hand in the air to cast a really deadly wind spell.

Meanwhile, the mysterious red-haired warrior charged in from the left. She was just about to drive her sword through Soren when she realized the Wyvern Knight ready to strike.

"Oh, S---! It's that rape-bastard Narshen! DAMNIT! He ruins EVERYTHING! He even ruins sexy threesomes! And now he's planning to do Soren? I WON'T STAND FOR THIS!" she screamed. "Okay, fine... I'll spare him for the moment. After I kill the sick bastard, I can just do Soren before I sacrifice his life for the sake of the Wii! At least I can get something out of this in the end!" she grinned with a twisted expression on her face.

She then raised her mighty sword in the air and proceeded to charge the Wyvern Knight at full force, but was stopped dead in her tracks when Soren unleashed his Cyclone spell, which engulfed Narshen and gradually tore at his flesh until nothing remained of him or his Wyvern.

Dumbstruck at loosing the opportunity to kill a fellow pervert, the red-haired warrior again turned her attention towards her original target with a conflicting mind.

"Oh crap... I just lost my excuse to forget killing Soren entirely. And now he's all alone" she thought to herself. "I know Serra told me that he blatantly blasphemed against the Wii within her own domain and everything, but... aw damn, this would be much easier if he wasn't angsty and sexy! So, should I actually try and do the rational thing and demand an explanation for him? Damn that never works for me! I always get carried away before I make settle things peaceful! But maybe it'll work when I'm dealing with somebody hot! No, no... blood's still boiling, I'll still cause him bodily harm in one way or another... CURSE MY OVERZEALOUS BRAIN!" she thought to herself. "Well, I can't just STAND here, that's boring! And when I actually make it into somebody's fanfic, I REFUSE TO BE A BORING SUPPORT CHARACTER!"

Apparently, her solution came in the form of another overzealous warrior charging straight ahead with a lance pointed straight at the angst-filled hero.

"DEATH TO SOREN!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

After surviving the onslaught of overzealous Soren fangirls, the blonde Soren Hater of the past came back to finish his sworn duty to end the heterosexual mage's life. Unfortunately for him, his battle cry tipped of his target, who evaded with ease.

"You again? I thought you would've at least been incapacitated by those insane fangirls. Even I had a hard time trying to shake them off" Soren admitted.

The blonde warrior couldn't take being treated so lowly by the object of his demise. "Damn you Soren! Damn your kind to hell! You angsty characters ruin everything! It's because of your kind that the more optimistic characters are easily taken out of the spotlight! It's because of your kind that fangirls multiply like rabbits! And for crying out loud, your angst is always over exaggerated! It's because you shove your "emo" ways up everyone's ass that I'm so sick of you! I'm going to bury your angst along with your corpse!" he threatened.

Suddenly, the red-haired warrior snapped out of her confusion upon seeing the Soren Hater. "Damn, it's him! He's been trying to kill everyone I had fantasies about every since we met at the guild! Well, not THIS time!" she cried. She then carefully put aside her Zelos plushie and started chanting a spell.

"I'm not in the mood for this" Soren sighed. "I notice you have a Nephenee plushie in your hand. If I tell you where the genuine article is, can you spare me your pursuit for a few weeks? I'd rather conserve my strength for the time that psycho Serra comes to get me personally, and dealing with Fire Emblem fan will just be bad for business"

"ARE YOU CALLING ME INSIGNIF--- wait, what?" the Soren hater answered back.

"Sure, as a fellow member of the Greil Mercenaries, we happen to contact each other on a regular basis, so I could easily let you know where in this crazy universe she is." he calmly explained.

The blonde warrior was still fully intent on killing the red-eyed mage before him, but being able to meet the REAL Nephenee was something he couldn't refuse. He was about to inquire the location of the soldier babe until he sensed an incoming Elffire spell flew at him from the side. Thinking quickly, he leapt backwards, letting the spell incinerate a nearby tree. He was then about to charge at the direction where the ball of fire came from, but his Brave Lance soon found itself clashing with a sword from above.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! FEEL THE STING OF LAST FENCER, JERK!" the crazed red-hair warrior yelled.

"w-wha--- YOU!"

The Soren hater managed to drive black the red-haired sage, who leapt away with a spectacular back flip.

"W-what are you doing here? And what are you doing with Last Fencer? We're in the Fire Emblem Universe for crying out loud, and you're holding a ToS Sword! The Space/Time Continuum should be imploding on itself because of that!" The blonde warrior complained.

The red-haired sage grinned. "It's because I hold the infinite knowledge of all the RPG universes that I can bend reality to my will without its destruction! But a n00b like you is simply clueless when it comes to stuff like that. Face it! No matter how many times we'll do this, you know I'M going to be the one to triumph in the end!"

"You're spouting out nonsense! You may think your power gives you the excuse to do anything that you want to, but it doesn't change the fact that you're evil! And everyone knows it's the evil ones that loose in the end!" the blonde warrior cried.

"Evil-knievel-schmevel-WHATEVER! Your naive way of thinking makes you weak. There is no good and evil in reality, just desire. And trust me, I KNOW desire. Yaoi, Incest, Threesomes, I understand it all perfectly. You and your lameass Lloyd X Collette fluffy fandom really make me sick" the red-haired sage scoffed.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" the Soren Hater threatened, with his Brave Lance ready to strike.

The red-haired warrior responded with a disturbingly grim smile. "I'll make sure you and your Colloyd nonsense are sent to the void, where you belong..." She then lifted her Last Fencer into the air, which gleamed with her demented fangirl energy. "I will not allow you to touch even a hair on my lovely Soren with your hate of all things angst, for you see... HE'S MINE!"

The psychotic sage then flew at her adversary at flew speed while the Soren Hater got into a defensive position. His body emitted the powerful fanboy aura that he believed was so pure and just. Finally, their two weapons collided once again. Their conflicting energies crackled with immense power for a moment, then the two separated once more. The Soren Hater advanced with his Brave Lance to take advantage of its two-hit specialty, but the sage effortlessly blocked both strikes with her Last Fencer. She then went for a killing slash, which the Soren Hater easily dodged by jumping to the side. Again he thrusted his lance forward at an opening, but the red-haired sage's keen instincts predicted the attack rather easily by back flipping atop the lance. She was having fun trying to slash at her defenseless opponent again and again as he tried to shake her off his lance while being forced to dodge her assault. After a few more slashes, one of the red-haired sage's slashes nearly decapitated the fanboy's Nephenee plushie, so he was forced to let go in fear of its safety. He then use his free hand to grasp one of the sage's ankles to hinder her ability, but she jumped off of the lance just in time.

"I see you've gotten better, little boy" the red-haired sage grinned. "At least... it'll actually be fun for me this time."

The fanboy answered back with a smile of his own. "So, you fixed reality so that you can allow ToS weapons to work here, right?"

The sage was confused by her opponent's comment. "Yeah, so what?"

The Soren Hater's smile widened. "Okay, that's good to know. I'm just surprised how much you would actually underestimate me..."

A magical circle then formed underneath him as he glowed with a brilliant holy aura.

The red-haired sage panicked. "Wh-what a minute? What's going on here? Is it actually possible that a mere n00b of a fanboy like you actually learned--"

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS!" he shouted. His back suddenly glistened with the form of wings. The surrounding light then intensified to enormous proportions.

"NOW, SUFFER FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU'VE WROUGHT! JUDGEMENT!"

The surrounding area then turned pitch black as rings of light formed in the sky, piercing the ominous darkness. The rings then let loose an onslaught of light rays, forcing the red-haired sage into an evading frenzy.

Meanwhile, Soren watched in disbelief has he calmly made his way out of the battlefield. "Okay, now this is getting carried away. I thought this was supposed to be a Fire Emblem fanfiction" he remarked. "But I suppose this is what to expect after what happened in 'The Sothe Debate'".

Somewhere else in the world, Captain Haar's Wyvern was being assaulted by a wave of spears, with Queen Serra was on the verge of tearing her hair off.

"AAGHH! CAPTAIN HAAR! CAN'T YOU DO A BETTER JOB OF GETTING IN PROPPER POSITION! I WON'T BE ABLE TO ANIHLATE OUR ASSAILANT IF YOU CONTINUE TO LEAVE US OPEN LIKE THIS!" she whined.

"Wha? hmm... mm... sorry.. it's really hard to concentrate, considering that we've been attacked like this for 24 hours... I wonder how our enemy is keeping up their attack, anyway?" Captain Haar muttered.

"DAMN IT ALL! IF YOU NEEDED SOME COFFEE, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK!" Queen Serra yelled. She then snapped her fingers, and a fresh cup of coffee at just the right temperature appeared right by Haar's side. He then took the cup and proceeded to sip it.

"Nope, still sleepy" he muttered. "Maybe give me a few minutes and it'll start to kick in... then again, I don't really notice the difference of my consciousness when I'm asleep, and when I'm really tired" he admitted.

Again, Queen Serra let out a scream as she blasted a dark energy wave to destroy incoming spears.

Moments later, the assailint revealed herself as she charged at full force with spear in hand.

Her pegasus flew quite majestically at high speed as her long blue swayed in the wind. Even the vengeful look in her eyes could not take away from her royal beauty.

"SERRRAA! HOW DARE YOU HAVE YOUR WAY WITH MY EPHRAIM!" she yelled with incredible rage.

Author's Note: Yeah, I know, Narshen had a REALLY short part, but I never played FE6, and I only saw this one screenshot to base his pervertedness on. It's pretty cheap.