Chapter 7
"I guess little Tana's upset that I stole her precious boyfriend" Queen Serra taunted. "I would think that Eirikia would be forced to move against me, but I've received a more interesting adversary... such beautiful rage to be used against me"
"SHUT UP! I WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU FOR MANIPULATING MY EPHRAIM FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!" the raging Pegasus Princess shouted.
"Funny how one so willful and stubborn like Ephram can be so...weak-minded. He's really quite easy to control when you know to do it propperly. He just so... adorably obedient after I got through with him. I can practically walk all over him in the current state he's in. It's a shame you missed the whole thing, though. One of my most trusted allies was there as well. Yes, I remember how much fun that red-haired stranger had fooling around with your darling princess as well. And they say "Three's a Crowd"... ha! Those fools don't know what they're talking about!" Queen Serra continued.
Tana then let out a savage roar as she moved in on her despicable foe. She charged at full speed, aiming her spear straight at Queen Serra's head. Unfortunately, Queen Serra dodged rather easily, and Tana missed the Wyvern entirely. Queen Serra happily responded by launching a Flux spell directly at Tana, but the Princess' maneuverability proved quite formidable. She turned her Pegasus to face the Wyvern again after a spectacular dodge and chucked more spears that were directed at the Wyvern's wings and head. Queen Serra quickly acted with another wave of dark magic that obliterated the spears before touching their intended targets.
While Queen Serra's heart didn't grow three sizes that day, her demented smile most certainly did.
"WHAT'S THIS, LIL' PRINCESS? IT LOOKS LIKE THAT DESPITE YOUR RAGE, YOU CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME! WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR LITTLE FALCON KNIGHT FRIEND TO HELP YOU WITH TARGET PRACTICE! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" she taunted.
"I DON'T NEED HER HELP, OR ANYONE'S! YOU SOILED MY EPHRAIM, AND SO YOU'LL DIE BY MY HANDS!" Tana yelled.
"How noble, little Princess. So honorable to die alone... naive... delusional... and a virgin, no less" Serra uttered in a lower tone.
"NAIEVE! DELLUSIONAL!" Tana yelled just before chucking another few spears that were meant to skewer Queen Serra's upper body.
"Of course... you're so vent on your little revenge, that you've actually convinced yourself that you shared something "special" to you. What makes you think Ephraim was ever yours to begin with?" Queen Serra asked after effortlessly destroying the the spears once more.
"W-what are you talking about?" Tana uttered. Her fiery spirit started to fade from inner doubt.
"How would you know that, perhaps somewhere deep inside his proud lion heart, that Ephraim actually ENJOYS following my will? Maybe he himself could turn down the ultimately righteous cause of the Wii... or perhaps... he simply fell for my charms?" she grinned as she made a flirtatious pose.
"W-WHA! DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! MY EPHRAIM WOULD NEVER CHOOSE SOMEONE AS SADISTIC AS YOU!" Tana yelled.
"Oh, wait a sec... of course! Your logic makes PERFECT sense! I mean, how could Ephraim resist such boney childish little girl with such miniscule assets to appease him with? Why, I'm sure he'd prefer you over that darling woman L'Arachel, and we can already count your best friend Eirikia out of the picture! But wait a moment. Why is it that they always look so happy together all the time? They would never even want to leave each other's sides if they could help it! Certainly they couldn't be wanting a little... incest, could they?" Queen Serra mocked with heavy suggestion.
"E-Eirika? N-n-n-n-n-no way! She's my friend, and Ephraim is her twin brother! She would never betray me like that, especially for someone of her own blood!" Tana stammered.
"Now, now! I myself sometimes wish the world worked like that as well! No wrongs would be committed, and everything would be all happy and peaceful and perfectly fine... but look what I have to do now! Punishing those foolish Wii nay-sayers! What a scandalous we live in... and it's up to me to pass judgment upon the scum of this world, too!" Queen Serra sighed, sounding half mad in her explanation.
Unfortunately for Tana, her fears started to overwhelm her. "... shut up! Just... just shut up! Those are lies! There IS justice in this world! And... and it'll triumph again! Stop throwing these lies at me!" Tana whimpered as she tried to block out Queen Serra's ranting.
Queen Serra's eyes narrowed with delight as she saw her broken foe. "Poor little Tana... fraught by the sins and doubts of those you loved most... I almost actually feel sorry for you, child..." she called out in a soft tone.
At that moment, Tana couldn't take the anguish anymore. She covered both her ears and crawled up into a ball. "stop it.. stop it... STOP IT!"
Queen Serra continued with the mind game she loved so much. "There, there little Tana... you don't have to worry about your trampy little friend Eirikia stealing Ephraim away" she taunted in a baby tone. "For you see, he's MINE now..."
And at the first tear Tana shed, Queen Serra sent her plummeting to the ground below with the Fenrir spell. At her latest victory, Queen Serra took in a deep breath, and then violently released. "NYAHAHA! TAKE THAT, LITTLE BITCH! WHO'S RULING THE SKIES NOW!" she crowed triumphantly.
She then folded her arms while her twin tails and dark gown swayed in the wind, going into a winning pose that would seem more appropriate in a fighting game. "How fitting, that it be a spell of Prince Lyon's to smite the Princess of Frelia. After all, what is more propriate than the power of an unrequited love destroying the holder of unrequited love?" she uttered most poetically.
In the midst of her victory, however, she quickly lost balance as Haar's Wyvern carelessly dragged its wing into a treetop. "Wh-WHAAA! CAPTAIN HAAR, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" she reprimanded her pilot. Unfortunately, Captain Haar is already deep into slumber land along with his equally-unconscious mount, who proceeded to wander in the skies. The deranged Queen could not keep heself from growling at this pathetic display before her.
"GAAH! I THOUGHT A SIMPLE CUP OF COFFEE COULD KEEP A SEXY DUNCE LIKE YOU AWAKE FOR AT LEAST THE REST OF THE DAY! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!", she yelled.
Queen Serra then proceeded to try and wake up the sleepy Captain in a bunch of ways that would somehow befit a montage sequence. She began by kicking away at his back, since it would put her in a dangerous position to go for his private parts, but that failed utterly. She then summoned cold water to shower him awake, but that was equally as ineffective. After that, she snapped her finger to pour a puddle of scolding hot coffee on his face, but even that didn't faze him. After trying even more peculiar methods, she then resorted to smacking Captain Haar across the face with with a kitchen sink, which proved to be as much of a dismal failure as the other tries. When she finally got all her rage out of her system, she finally realized how much trouble their current path would be. She went back to a more "friendly" attept by shaking his body back and forth.
"Haar! Haar! HAAR! CAPTAIN HAAR, WAKE UP! WATCH OUT FOR THAT---"
And in the worst possible way, Captain Haar's Wyvern crashed headlong into a really tall tree.
Meanwhile, Sothe's fellowship somehow made it deep into Lycian Territory, into the prestigious Caelin Castle. Sothe, Erk, and Priscilla decided to rest into a room while discussing their recent turn of events, and waiting for Lady Lyn's new orders.
"Phew, that was close! We managed to make it all the way to Headquarters without much resistance. We're really lucky!" Priscilla smiled.
"I guess that woman put too much faith in Valter the Moonstone, or maybe she was preoccupied with something to handle us herself" Erk pondered.
"I'm just glad the story's actually back to us. I mean, this story IS supposed to be part of the "Sothe Saga". Why is the main character ommitted from nearly three whole Chapters?" everyone's favorite green thief complained.
"I guess it's because... people really can't get enough of that Soren. Even amusing fanfiction like this needs a little star power to boost the likelihood of being read" Priscilla pointed out cheerfully.
"Geez... what is it about us brooding types that get the chicks' attention, anyway? People like us in real life don't get that kind of attention. They're considered freaks, weirdoes, the scum of society. Meanwhile, WE'RE the ones that fangirls drool over! What's the logic in that?" Erk asked.
"I dunno... but I'm afraid of how many pedophiles have taken interested in me once they discovered my existence... especially those who love "badboy" types... it's... creepy" Sothe admitted.
Erk then turned his attention to a more dire mater at hand. "Damn that Sain... flirting and playing with Priscilla like she's his plaything! Man oh man he's gonna pay..." he growled violently.
The dainty maiden panicked at Erk's sudden display of anger. "E-Erk! Don't you think you're overreacting? I mean, Sain can't help it! He just his flattering way of showing how much he appreciates women, right?" Priscilla uttered shakily..
"Didn't he try to go to third base with you that one time?" Erk coyishly pointed out.
Surprisingly, Priscilla's face turned red with anger. "Right... Erk dear, please leave a little bit of Sain for me when you're through punishing him" she politely requested.
"Now you're talking!" Erk exclaimed.
"Say, Geoffrey... what's wrong?" Sothe asked a nearby knight with light blue hair in lime green armor.
This particular knight happened to be one of Princess Elincia's most trusted retainers. While he isn't nearly as foreboding as Percival in his appearance, his current Paladin might is still quite the force to be reckoned with. However, for some reason the mighty Paladin of Crimea lay slumped in a corner of the room, looking severely depressed.
"Sir Geoffrey... is... everything okay?" Priscilla softly asked.
But Geoffrey didn't answer.
"He's probably sore that Elincia seems to have quite the fancy for Commander Ike, or so some say she has" Erk explained.
"Oh, poor Geoffery... and I heard he had his eye on her for the longest time, now! I personally thought they would make a GREAT couple." Priscilla answered.
"Speaking of which... where IS Elincia... AND Commander Ike? I haven't seen them around in the Castle for a while now, and they're supposed to be some of the chief officers opposing Serra's Wii-spreading empire!" Sothe asked.
"Perhaps they eloped. Considering their relationship, it wouldn't surprise me" Erk answered.
"B-but... but I found it especially strange that no one was willing to offer an explanation... evne Lady Lyndis was hesitant to tell us anything of the situation" Priscilla noted.
"I would figure Soren wouldn't stand for this... I mean, he REALLY cherishes his "special friendship" with Commander Ike" Sothe blatantly mentioned.
"Oh, I guess you didn't here the news. It turns out that Soren's actually heterosexual. Who knew? It was pretty amusing when some of us found out how bad he had it for Mist... or even some of the "interesting" dreams about Nephenee. So yep, Soren's straight. End of story. Spread the word" Erk explained in amusement.
"Wow..." Sothe uttered in total surprise.
"And it sounds cute, actually! We've seen Mist and Rolf together for so long, and now that precious little girl might actually have an older man vying for his attention in secret!" Priscilla added with a giggle.
While Sothe's companionship amused themselves with Soren's sexuality, Geoffrey still sat there in a slump. The lifeless glare in his eyes made even the red-eyed angst machine seem like a regular ball of sunshine. His right arm suddenly twitched violently, with the attached hand balled into a tight fist. His mouth initially blurted out incoherent speech, but gradually, it grew into something comprehendible. "Elincia... Princess Elincia... I... I swear... I swear that I'll..."
Author's Notes: Wow, Serra really taped into her potential evil back there, messing with people's minds. Too bad for Haar, though. He ruled! But, well... his chronic sleeping problem landed him a face job involving a kitchen sink. Anyway, what's up with Geoffrey? Well, you'll have to find out... I'm just warning you that it may not be what you think.