Summary; I've read many fanifcs where the entire gang is wiped out, normally by Angelus. As ever, in true Captain Kirk/Frank Castle fashion I refuse to lose so here's a happy ending story to them all.
Spoilers/Timeline; Season 7
Rating PG13
Pairing; the whole gang
Disclaimer; These characters belong to Mutant Enemy productions, not me and this work is purely for fun not profit.
Distribution; In my good friend William's words, as you like it
Now if you're over 18 there's a slightly more graphic version of this story under my nameat adult fan fiction .net
Deadscoobies
"Petunias, how nice" Willow observed as Buffy laid them on her gravestone. "Did I ever tell you how I wanted to be a florist?"
Buffy shook her head, sadly. "No, now I don't suppose you'll ever get the chance"
Willow took her arm, her touch producing pins and needles in Buffy's flesh. "Don't worry Buff, I have all the flowers I want, endless meadows filled with them. It's always spring where I am now"
Buffy gave her a half smile. "You always know just what to say, Will"
"That's what best friends are for"
"Ahem" Xander gave a pretty good imitation of a cough for someone who quite certainly didn't. "Bring me anything?"
Buffy dug out the copy of Playboy from her satchel. "Carmen Electra"
Xander gave a short cry of excitement. "Buff, you're like some porn Santa Claus. In fact if you ever feel like dressing up as a slutty elf helper...?"
"This is the Jewish plot, Xander" Willow objected. "We don't have Santa's skanky helpers here!"
"Well, maybe she can dress up as a sexy rabbi or Golda Meir or something, I don't know"
Buffy grinned. She loved the way he could always make her laugh, even doing this. "Maybe at Halloween. Should you still be having those sort of thoughts?"
"I'm 17 forever Buff, I'll ALWAYS be having those sort of thoughts! Just leave it by my gravestone, I'll read it later"
"Dibs when your finished" declared Willow. They looked at her strangely. "Well, I mean the articles are really good. Don't you get embarrassed buying it?"
"It's Jonathan's. He lets me have them when he's finished. In fact he has to get Larry to buy them for him because he can't reach the top shelf. Larry likes the articles too"
Xander took Willow's hand. It was Buffy's cue to leave. "I'll see you later guys"
"Always" they spoke as one.
She made her way to the Christian section. It had taken a lot of doing to have Xander buried beside Willow but she'd called in a few favours. This town owed her a lot. It owed them all.
Oz was tuning his guitar. "Sounds good"
"How's the band?" same question, every night.
"They're good, got a gig in San Francisco at a club called P3. Devon says Jonathan's playing is really coming along, he can do 4 chords now but he still has to work on his stance. I brought you their demo tape" She placed it carefully on the marble slab.
"Tell Jonathan that he should imagine he's a miner working a drill into a coal face, that always worked for me"
"Thanks, I will" She never spoke that much to Oz but what he did say was normally worth listening to.
"About time" Cordelia was as much a prima donna in death as she had been in life. Her tomb was by far the most opulent in the entire graveyard, "Beloved daughter and sister" carved out in real inlaid gold.
"Gotcha Vogue" Buffy leaned it up against the ornate stonework, the grass surrounding it notably better maintained than any other grave, goooughough to play crazy golf on if you felt so inclined.
"No Cosmo?"
"Harmony borrowed my copy, says she'll give it back when she's finished the quiz"
"Wouldn't hold your breath" She frowned at her nails. "You know, you'd think in paradise they could get you a perfect manicure?"
"They look good to me"
She shook her head. "No, these are the way I looked when I died. I was on my way to the beauty parlour when it happened"
"I miss you, Cordy" Buffy's voice was very small.
Cordelia arched an eyebrow at her. "Well, I don't miss you"
"Thanks a lot!" Buffy snapped.
"No, nothing personal but we don't, don't miss my mom or dad or brothers or anyone. They must do something to us so we're happy, we always know they're ok" She shrugged.
"So why do you come here?" Buffy asked, her voice trembling.
"For you Buff" Cordelia answered simply. "We might not miss you but you miss us. Get a long with you now, Giles will be waiting"
"I must be a real masochist to miss her" thought Buffy walking away.
"I heard that!" shouted Cordelia after her.
"Oh great, now they read minds too!"
Giles was leaning back against his headstone, reading a book. Of course he was. "Hello Buffy, how did your test go?"
"Aced it. You're looking at top of her college class Buffy with matching vampire slaying accessories"
"Oh that is nice, I'm so very glad" she fished in her bag before producing some grapes. "Ah, I think you'll find those are more for the sick rather than the dead"
"They're for Larry, he got his arm slashed fighting some demons last night. Have you ever heard of The First Evil?"
"Vaguely, I'd have to consult my books..."
"Maybe I should leave it to Wes. I swiped these from him" she produced some tea bags from the grapes.
"Earl Grey, how lovely. And how is my successor doing?"
"You mean is he still with Jenny?"
"Precisely"
"Yes, in fact he was talking about marriage. Does that upset you?"
"It should, shouldn't it? But no, jealousy isn't anything we suffer from anymore. You're assembling the group, I take it?"
"Yeah, we're meeting at the library, Amy says she's got an idea of how to track it down. She's got a new Wicca friend called Tara who's a lot better at this kind of stuff than she is. Forrest and Riley are going to drop by too, tell us what the government knows"
"You'd better be there then, I won't detain you any longer"
"It's ok, dad's giving me a lift. You know, just because I... well, what I mean is Larry and Harmony and Jonathan and Wes and everyone, they never replaced you guys..."
Giles took of his glasses. "No, people don't get replaced Buffy. Others step up to fill their shoes just as you filled the role of the Slayer before you. But you didn't replace her. Nor could anyone replace you. You'd live on in our hearts just as we live on in yours"
It was the same old speech. She could listen to it now without crying. "I love you all, I miss you all"
He nodded and smiled sagely.
"A true Slayer uses every weapon to hand!" Giles' apparition opinioned, polishing his glasses calmly as the vampire that used to be Xander Harris forced himself on Buffy before ripping her throat out. Spike and Dru pinned her wrists to the bed and grinned. Angelus stood in the doorway, almost doubled over with mirth.
She twisted her arms, flexing them to give herself some leverage, forcing them to loosen their grip just a little. She relaxed suddenly and then pulled them back and forth causing their fingers to slip downwards to her palms. This was why your Akido instructor always told you to seize people by their clothes and not their flesh. She grabbed their little fingers and snapped them both like kindling.
"Oh bloody hell!" Spike yelled whilst Drusilla gave a high pitched animal screech. Insticntively they both retreated to lick their wounds.
Now her hands were free.
She snatched the wire aerial from the cheap TV set in her even cheaper motel room and looped it around his neck as they fell onto the bed together. She garrotted him with it, the wire slicing through his neck and decapitating him neatly. "Thank god we didn't want cable" she thought abstractedly.
Drusilla was moving before Xander had even turned to dust.
"Don't underestimate the power of the written word Buff!" Willow's ghost suggested, indicating the bedside table. Drusilla sprang, biting down hard, aiming for Buffy's throat but instead finding the Gideon Bible the Slayer had plucked from the drawer, choking as Buffy rammed the pages down her throat, forcing her to swallow them.
"NOOO!" Spike screamed.
"What's on TV Buffy?" Oz's spectre wondered aloud. She understood in an instant and tripped Spike as he charged towards her, his head crashing through the screen. She flicked it on and his body convulsed, showered with sparks in the moment before it burst aflame. He crumbled to ashes a second after Drusilla did, her body eaten away from within by the holy pages.
Angelus stood in the doorway, watching in pure horror.
"Time for the main event!" Cordelia's phantom stated calmly. She was joined by Xander's image, looking as she remembered him in life rather than in death. He was succinct as always. "Kick his ass Buff!"
"But...but you were defeated, all your friends were dead, you were all alone!" Angelus protested staring at the solitary Buffy standing triumphantly in her dingy hotel room, her last desperate refuge, the place she had fled to in despair.
She took a step towards him. "Never!" she replied.
He turned and fled.
They clustered around her as she collapsed on the bed.
"Wesley Wyndham Price" he extended his hand towards her.
"Whatever" she looked away.
Buffy watched silently as she sobbed by Cordelia's graveside. Eventually she spoke. "You shouldn't be here at night, Harm, it's not safe"
"We have to save her! We can't let Harmony die, we can't lose another one!" Wesley stared in terror at Buffy who seemed consumed with panic. He straightened his tie nervously.
"Calm down. I could do a locator spell but I'd need an experienced magic practitioner to help me with..."
"AMY!" Buffy shouted sprinting from the library
"Keep going" Buffy reached around Jonathon from the pillion position and seized his hand, forcing him to rev the accelerator of his Moped to maximum. They crashed through the warehouse door, flooding it with daylight, dusting two vamps instantly...
"Thanks" Larry looked at the piles of dust on the warehouse floor as Buffy cut him free of his bonds. Jonathon was already helping a dishevelled but otherwise unhurt Harmony walk to the shattered door. "Look, no kidding, they were vampires, right?"
She sat by herself at the school cafeteria table, alone as always, thinking of the past, when she never wanted for company. But they were dead and gone, she only saw them now on patrol, in the still of the night. She was alone. It was as it was meant to be.
She suddenly became aware there were five figures clustered around her. Each bore a tray, piled high with food.
"Mind if we join you?" Wesley asked.
Buffy's nod was pure reflex. As they sat down beside her, she realised she'd never actually taken time to consider if this was the correct course of action.
Amy commented on Harmony's hair. Jonathon and Larry started talking about sports. Wes read The Times and pretended not to listen.
But deciding to re-open her heart once more was something she never regretted.
He was waiting in the shadows as always, guarding over them. She could see him watching Joyce in the front seat of the car, singing softly along with the radio. Dawn was slouched in the back seat, dozing, whilst a tiny flame above the driver's door signified her father. It was the one thing he and mom still argued about since they'd got back together but as long as he only smoked outside things were ok.
"Hello Angel"
"Hello Buffy"
"Anything up?"
"No, LA is pretty quiet, nothing Faith and Doyle can't handle anyway. Fred says hello by the way. How are you?"
"Pretty good. Lot's on my plate, some things we might need your help with later on"
"Anything you want to tell me?"
"Meet me at the library later and we'll fill you in"
"I may have a little gift for you that might help out. Will Darla be there?"
She sighed "Yes, she'll be there, complete with her soul. She's one of the good guys now. Don't tell me you of all people can doubt her?"
"She's still my sire Buffy and she's still a vampire even if she has a soul"
"So are you!"
"It's difficult for me, that's all"
"I understand. What are you doing here?"
"I saw your dad's car and I thought I'd just make sure they were all right, parking near a graveyard around here is pretty dangerous stuff "
"Yeah, thanks, but what I mean is why did you come to this particular graveyard?"
He looked at her solemnly. "You know why"
She took his arm. "Why don't you go talk to them?"
"And say what? Sorry I killed you all? No hard feelings?"
"That wasn't really you. They know that"
"I do. Some things you can never take back. I'll see you at the school"
She watched him walk away and turned towards the car. As she walked she repeated the words she had spoken all those years ago at the funerals, still fresh in her memory as they would be until it was her turn to join them.
"Stand not by my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die,
I am the fresh fallen snow on winters morn,
I am the flight of birds,
On gentle upwind, softly born,
I am the summer breeze,
Drifting through the golden corn,
Stand not beside my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die"