Companion
AN:
The heart grows fonder when apart.
Peeta struggles to face his fears.
Special thank you to my dear friend, GinnyGinervaWeasley, for betaing my story.
P.S. I love the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins owns everything!
CHAPTER 12
It's been harder and harder for Peeta to say goodbye every Sunday night. Katniss feels the same way. She doesn't regularly go to the train station to send him home, but tonight she finds herself not wanting to let go. Peeta is grateful. He had wanted the same.
"I really don't want to go," Peeta whispers in her ear. They are wrapped in each other's arms at the end of the platform, away from a small group of tourists, unwilling to let go. They never show affection in public, but the draw of each other's bodies is too much to overcome at that moment. They feel desperate, not wanting to part. He turns his head slightly towards her hair and stores the smell of lavender and oats in his memory. Five days. Five long days before he could hold her again.
"Don't go then," Katniss teases after pulling back a little. She's smiling at him, but she knows better than to fully ask. Peeta's project is almost finished, and she couldn't possibly take him away from it. It's his gift to Panem after a year of hard work.
"I won't if you ask me. I really won't," Peeta tells her like a pledge. He had seriously thought of it before.
"You know I can't ask you that," she answers back while touching his curls. "You need to go. You need to finish your project. Then you could have a long vacation here. I'll take you to my cabin by the lake, and we'll swim even if it's still cold."
"Hmmm …" He savors the image. "I look forward to that."
The whistle blows, and the conductor gives the final call for passengers to board. They let go reluctantly.
"Go," Katniss says cheerily. She's encouraging him, blowing him a kiss after pushing his back playfully forward. "I'll see you soon!"
"I'll see you soon, Katniss Everdeen! I lo-" he says, but the train whistle blows so loudly, she doesn't hear him.
He knew he shouldn't have left, and now he is stuck, lining up over a telephone booth in District 7 to make a phone call. People are everywhere, walking around with their suitcases, finding a bench to sit on, checking train schedules, and generally pacing restlessly.
The phone rings, and he waits anxiously, hoping that the ring will wake Katniss up from her room on the second floor.
"Hello," she says with a hoarse voice. She had fallen asleep leaning on the headboard. Peeta was supposed to be there an hour ago, and she was eagerly waiting for him.
"Hey Katniss," he replies, breathing a little easier after hearing her voice. The chaotic atmosphere around him is seeping through his nerves.
"Are you okay? Where are you?" she asks him, then checks out the window. There's a blizzard outside. The wind is howling, rattling the glass as it dumps snow all over the district. It's been like that since two days after Peeta left, and the whole district is slowly being filled with the white stuff.
"I'm at the train station ..."
"Don't come here, just stay there," she cuts him off before he could fully say where he is. "Stay with Ripper. Her house is just beside the station."
"Katniss, I'm in District 7."
"Oh"
"The tracks to Twelve are buried in snow in several places. They've halted all trains going in and out of District 12. I'm stuck here, and so are many people."
Katniss turns on the television, and it is full of reports from town. There are shots of Haymitch and volunteers gathered around the district map. They are planning the evacuation in case the weather gets worse. They've brought out the emergency supplies and are ready to distribute them when the blizzard weakens.
"How are you, Peeta?" she asks despondently. "Where are you going to stay?"
"I'm okay. It's you and the children that I am more worried about. The news has been crazy, Katniss," he says. "I'll stay here for one day in case the trains could go through. I tried renting a car, but no one is willing to if the destination is Twelve."
"Just stay there, Peeta. It's not safe to travel at this time. We'll be all right."
"I really miss you," he says longingly, then the next person in line taps the glass door behind him in the phone booth. "Katniss, I have to go now. I'll call you again in the morning, okay? Just take care, and don't worry about me."
"Okay, Peeta. I'll see you soon," she says before letting herself cry.
"Do I really have to be the one to receive it?" Peeta asks his mentor Beetee for the tenth time. The blizzard didn't weaken, and he had to go back home. Work also piled up abruptly, and he disdainfully had to postpone his visits. After months of regularly visiting the orphanage, this is the longest time he has been away. He misses the children, moreso, he misses Katniss. He cannot wait for his project to be finished.
"Let me see." Beetee starts to reason. He fixes the rim of his eyeglasses to take a good look at Peeta, who is pacing back and forth in his office before he begins. "Who's idea was the scanning device?"
"Mine," Peeta responds, and he already knows where this conversation is going. Beetee is calm while in his wheelchair. His highly logical brain has already formed a well-structured argument.
"Who started the project?" he asks simply.
"Me"
"Who made the initial designs, the feasibility study, and got sponsors?"
"Me," Peeta replies while touching his fingers as if counting. "Me for the feasibility, then the sponsors were you and Mattea. It's not all me."
"Who headed the project, set up the team, trained the team, made the final call when problems arose, and oh, streamlined it to make sure it fit the brief when it didn't? Let me guess? ... You."
"Okay, okay, I get it. That doesn't mean I have to be the one to receive the plaque of honor. Connor could be the face of the team. He's really eloquent, friendly, and looks very handsome on the camera. He could represent all of us."
"Well," Beetee says and rolls his chair to his office desk. He gestures for Peeta to sit in front, and he reluctantly agrees. "You know where I stand. But the decision is ultimately yours. You can pick anyone from your team as a representative to receive the award from no other than President Paylor herself. Or you can choose to stand there and receive it in humility and be a good leader to your colleagues and the children at the orphanage. I just think you are approaching this scenario in the wrong way by choosing to opt-out of it because you are afraid."
"Beetee …" Peeta utters. He's trying to avoid the topic.
"I know you're scared, Peeta. When they call you out there as the leader, all of Panem will know your name and possibly associate the project with the atrocities of the hunger games. The surname you carry from your father is laced with controversy. And there are still many who hate him. Hate your brothers. And possibly hate you and everything you put your name on, despite its obvious advantages."
"They don't know any better than to hate us," Peeta interjects. "My father and brothers died while deep undercover. My father was in the mansion when they shot him. How clear-cut could it possibly be laid out for Panem? Coin made sure that they appeared as one with the enemy."
"True," he agrees bitterly. "In time, they will know the truth, Peeta. Your father, your brothers, even your mother, who seemed oblivious to things, helped in the rebellion. They gave us valuable information and much-needed supplies when we couldn't even begin to think of where and how to get them. Even when they could have simply turned at the threat of Snow killing your mother, they still chose to lie and remain with the rebels. Your mother had accepted her fate. She assured them that they made the right decision by choosing the other side. Snow's threats were useless to your father and brothers."
"Why didn't Snow threaten me?"
"Because Snow never suspected you enough. You were the youngest, and your head is always buried in work. You met everything Snow asked for with great excellence, and you helped us infiltrate even deeper because of it."
"At the cost of my family ..."
"Do you resent them, Peeta? Do you regret their decision?" Beetee asks firmly.
"No. Never. I just miss my family," Peeta says sadly. He's an orphan, just like the children in Twelve.
"We all do. At least those who were close enough to really get to know your family. Your father was one of my dearest friends, Peeta. I hate to see his only surviving son throw away his father's untold legacy. AND his own future because he is afraid of what other people might think."
"I'm not wrong, though. People will think that way."
"Then let's change them," Beetee asserts.
"I don't know if I can take that on alone. I wish my father was here." Peeta digs further into the armchair, feeling defeated and at a loss.
Beetee breathes out, sympathizing with him. "Son, see this?" Beetee brings out a blueprint from beside his table. "This is your father's design. See the initials? It's a design for an efficient and renewable power grid for all of Panem. Every day I just look at any one of his blueprints and find the courage to keep going. To find solutions. Your father lives in all his inventions. All his ideas, all his blueprints that are scattered stealthily in the different departments in this building. I covered your father's name seven years ago because people were not ready then. I think it's time we make the first step. This project of yours will not just help Panem but will also open the eyes of the citizens to see the truth, to investigate a little deeper. Hopefully, through your example, people will find that there is always so much more to what's visible. Peeta, your father, lives in you."
Peeta takes in everything that Beetee explained. He knows his father's ideas well. He thought of them during many sleepless nights when he couldn't find the motivation to go on. He carries both his family's truth and his future on his shoulders. On many occasions, Peeta chooses the logical route that he had convinced himself to believe to save himself from being exposed. All of the time, they work. But this time, Beetee asked him to warm his thinking with his heart. To finally face his fears.
"So ... Tomorrow is the ceremony, and the president's assistant only needs to know the name of the representative one hour before the event. You have until then to decide," Beetee narrates, providing him with a way out.
"I will," Peeta says calmly, gratitude pouring out of his bright blue eyes. He knows what he has to do, but he needs to find the strength to do it. He respectfully stands up to leave the office and nods at his beloved mentor. "Thank you, Beetee."
"You're welcome, son."
"So, what will you do?" Katniss asks over the videophone. Peeta needs her affirmation.
"I think I'll do it."
"Good boy," Katniss says, smiling at him and providing him the support that he so desperately needs. "You're making the right decision, Peeta. I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks," he says pleasantly relieved. He had his change of heart after talking with Beetee.
"So should I call everyone now? They're excited to see you."
"I would love to see everyone. I haven't seen the children in three weeks."
"You'll be here the day after tomorrow. Hang in there."
"I am."
Peeta will meet Gale again in the next chapter!
Please review. I would really love to hear what you think about this fanfic.