Ki Cutters: 18
The Presents II
Senbei sat and sipped his punch. Urami and Urayami nibbled cookies. "That Kasumi girl is almost as good a cook as Beldandy," Urami commented.
"And when did you get to sample her cooking?" Senbei demanded. His hench-demon sweat-dropped.
"Ahhh… Last month when we took over the Temple, of course." Her voice trembled as he eyed her for a moment. "Are you still angry about Ranma, sir?"
"Pah! So it be perverted! So what! I be a demon. Demon do perversion jus' fine." He grinned. "Maybe ebben better. Ranma not happy 'bout curse. Maybe he scared to be girl, yah?" He watched the boy below and thought. "Maybe he eben more scared than natur'l girl about sex, yah. We watch a bit more an' see."
Below, the music began. It was short notice, but Kiima had a sense of humor and soon everyone was seeing double. Two girl-type Ranmas they were prepared for, but two Akanes? The watchers were flummoxed. Kiima was having fun. Saffron made a curious whistling noise as they finished their song. Kiima explained this was the bird-people's way of applauding.
Ukyo was getting a bit hot under the collar, much to the amusement of the Hibikis. Ryoga was missing again. "Don't worry about him, dear," Mrs. Hibiki said. "It can't be helped. The only time Hibikis don't get lost is when they're expecting."
"It's just irritating. Even with my tracking sense, I have trouble locating him," Ukyo growled.
"Tracking sense?" her audience inquired. Ukyo flinched and tried to explain. Ranma settled down and listened intently from nearby. He still hoped to eventually duplicate this ki skill, but it had eluded him so far.
The gate-bell rang.
"I got it," Ranma said with a neutral expression. Nuts! Ukyo was explaining it differently than Akane. He might have been able to figure it out, but… Even if this wasn't a challenge, it was probably trouble. He was responsible for the guests. He opened the gate.
"Good evening, Saotome," Picolet Chardin II said with a gleam. "Have you seen clear to pay our wager? Close it is getting to the New Year."
"Actually, I have," Ranma said. Nabiki's little planning session had left all the winners flush with cash, "unless… ya want double or nothin'?" The latter was added with a speculative gleam of his own.
"Ah? You are so confident, yes?"
"Come on in. Do ya want ta do it tonight? Or later in the week?"
"Since you are so gracious as to play to my strength, I am at your disposal."
Ranma escorted Chardin to the dojo. Akane's expression at the sight of the master of dining-fu was priceless. Then he went to find Kasumi.
"Oh my… Picolet? Oh dear… He is so…"
"Voracious?" Ranma asked.
"That." Kasumi looked over their preparations. "I'd really rather not. We have plenty of food, but you know how these challenges can get out of hand. If it weren't Christmas..." She hesitated.
"Don't worry about it, 'Sumi." Ranma grinned. "It was just that most of the folks haven't seen this and I'm sure Kurumi and Ryu are at least curious."
"If you change your mind, I'll get Akane and Nabiki to help set up tables." Kasumi straightened and cocked her head. "Oh, my! There's the gate-bell again. Can you get it, Ranma?"
"On my way." Ranma bounced out to the gate.
"Ranma Saotome, I challenge you!"
"Hi, Gambler King," Ranma said with a smile. Kodachi had told him of her run-in with the man. "Ya ready to lose again?"
"Grrr."
"Well come on in and join the throng. No betting with the other guests. This is Christmas Eve after all," Ranma warned him. "Start messing with my friends, I'll pitch ya out on yer ear, challenge or no challenge."
"Very well."
He met the Dojo Destroyer coming out with the Bun-boys. "Leavin' already?"
"I'll be late to the orphanage, otherwise, DD replied. "Saotome, which of those girls is your fiancée, anyway? They said they both were."
"In a sense they are. At one point, there were four of 'em, so I'm ahead of the game. Where are you guys going?"
"With that ditz around, we all thought it would be healthier to head for the orphanage," Piza Bun said. "We're going to be Santa's elves."
"That's great! Hey! What did ya want to talk to me about?"
The Bun-boys dithered. "Well," Niku said finally, "we found a dragon back in China and we thought we might be able to talk you into doing some pest control."
"You want me to go kill a dragon so you can get his whiskers," Ranma accused. "Sorry. I don't like killin' things. Besides, ain't dragons supposed to be smart like people? Why don't ya ask him for a whisker?"
They looked at one another. "We're about bite-sized for this thing, Ranma."
"Ya really ought ta think about it," Ranma advised. "Dragons live a long time but there don't seem ta be many of 'em. Ya kill this one, how do ya know it's not the last one? Or that the magic of the whisker might be lost when he dies?"
"Arrgh!" Niku exclaimed. "We never thought of that!" They looked at one another in despair.
"What you need to do is have someone go with you. Someone who might give the dragon second thoughts about attacking," Nabiki advised breaking into the conversation. "Find out what the dragon wants — everyone has something they want — then supply that want. Then everyone will be happy… and safe."
"Sounds like a plan," Niku said gleefully, eyeing the Dojo Destroyer speculatively. He was bald, too. Maybe he'd like in?
"Arrgh!" muttered Senbei. "Look at that! They're helping one another. I can't stand it!" He motioned with his hand.
"Wait!" Urami cried. "Didn't you want to hold off until…"
"I just can't take any more of this sweetness and light garbage!" He finished the gesture.
Azusa Shiratori woke up from her nap. So did Mikado Sanzenin. They glanced at one another then oriented on their surroundings. Azusa struck first.
"Charlotte! Oh, Charlotte!" (GLOMP!)
"Arrgh! Get off me!" yelled Ryoga, who had just managed to find his way back to the party. "I am not your Charlotte!"
"Yes oo is! You're Charlotte! Charlotte! Charlotte! Charlotte!" Azusa yelled. "An' you're a little piggy, too!"
"I do not turn into a pig!" Ryoga asserted. "I, uh… turn into a girl." He struggled to free an arm and quickly dumped some cold punch on his head. Then she gazed at the overly cute skater who blinked and backed up a bit.
"But…" Azusa blinked before picking up a nearby folding chair. (Wham!) "Where is Charlotte? Charlotte! I want my Charlotte!" (Bang! Clang! Wang! Smash!) She repeatedly struck Ryoga about the head and shoulders with the object. Ukyo, across the room, oriented and boggled at the violence. She stalked across the room, prepared to do some violence of her own but, another got there first.
"Azusa, you ditz! How dare you strike this lovely girl!" Mikado plucked the chair from her hands, tossed it negligently aside and caught a staggering Ryoga in one arm. "Here, my dear, you may thank me with a kiss…"
Then the room boggled, and Ryoga's eyes snapped wide as she received the special Mikado treatment.
"Oooo…" Azusa said. "You kissed a boy."
Mikado gave Ryoga a once-over in the silence, taking in her shocked look. "I did not! This is a… Urk!"
The 'Urk!' came from Ryoga and Ukyo's fists hitting home simultaneously. He lost interest in the surroundings. Ryoga staggered away, retching.
Azusa was already moving. "Raquel! Raquel!" she yelled as she picked up a tray of sashimi Kasumi had prepared. "So cute!" The eldest Tendo had indeed done a good job in thinly slicing and arranging the fish in the image of a nightingale. "Oh, my Raquel!" She gasped as Picolet relieved her of some of her burden. "Ahhh! What happened to Raquel?" She had no clue as to where it had gone. Then her rapidly emptying brain saw something else. "Marianne! Marianne!" She surged over to where Kuno was talking with Taro and his sister. He saw and heard her coming and dodged.
"Get away from me, you insane kleptomaniac!" Kuno shouted.
Taro and Kodachi weren't certain whether they should dodge or block. Inevitably cold punch splashed and Taro was girled.
Nabiki was eying the Gambling King and considering how to use this to her advantage. The latter was currently smiling over the hand of Nuku-Nuku who was far more interested in Gambling King's appearance than in his smarmy greeting. She jumped, distracted by the Golden Pair's antics. After a moment of observation, she decided Azusa was totally out of control and getting worse. Nabiki dipped into her pocket for a cell phone and then stood indecisive. Would it be better to get the police, or let Ranma and company deliver justice?
Out of sight was out of mind for the distaff member of the Golden Pair. Kuno's leap for cover revealed yet another 'cute' object of her affection: Sentaro.
"Ramon!" Azusa shrieked. "I've found you, Ramon!"
"GLURK!" 'Ramon' responded as he fought for air.
"Sentaro, who is this woman?" Satsuki demanded. She glared as he attempted to struggle away then drew a teakettle from somewhere. "Never mind…I'll teach you to manhandle my husband, you hussy."
"No!" shouted Taro, pushing Kodachi away and jumping between them. "No hot water!"
"You... are the most beautiful... woman," began Mikado, wobbling up. Unintentionally, he helped block the hot liquid from Kodachi. "Yeow!" he screamed as he was scalded. "What are you doing, you ditz!"
Sentaro misunderstood the direction of Mikado's statement. "How dare you call my wife a ditz?" Even with Azusa around his neck, he lunged.
"That much better," sighed Senbei. "Much, much better." Urami and Urayami watched in excitement as the confusion and violence began to spread.
The Dojo Destroyer and the Bun Boys stared in astonishment as things began to go to hell.
"See you guys later," Ranma exclaimed, trying to hurry them out the door.
"But you may need help…" Dojo Destroyer began, staring at the rapidly increasing chaos.
"The biggest help right now is to get as many people away from ground zero as possible," insisted Ranma as Azusa went after Kuno. He didn't wait any longer but rushed in to close with the two skaters. Enough was enough.
Mikado dodged Sentaro's attack. He hopped into a short vertical tuck and slapped buttons on the sides of his boots. Wheels popped out of the soles. He skated across the smooth floor to gain some space.
"Bet the fellow with the pregnant lady can't land a blow in the next thirty seconds," wagered the Gambler King, munching on some cookies and appetizers.
"You're on," snapped Kurumi.
"What are you supposed to be?" They turned and found Azusa regarding the bizarrely clad figure of the gambler. "You're certainly not cute," she declared.
"Why you…" snarled the Gambling King. He reached into his sleeve and fanned the playing cards he pulled out. A gleam lit his eye as he prepared to throw the pasteboard like shuriken.
Azusa snatched the cards from his hand. "How cute! Fredrick and Jamon and Colbert and I'll name you Susanne!" she gushed.
"Hmmm… If you aren't eating that," smirked Picolet coming up beside them. There was a flash and the Gambling King's appetizers vanished.
"Hey!" protested the gambler.
"How'd you do that," demanded Kurumi.
"I've never seen a tongue that long," commented Nuku-Nuku. "Are you genetically engineered from a frog?"
"Excuse me!" snapped Picolet. "I am very offended by such a remark. My family is over four hundred years old. We are…"
"You must be the source of all those fairy tales about frog princes," Nuku-Nuku finished for him. "Ryu told me legends often had a grain of truth! I never thought to see confirmation."
"Are you challenging me?" declared Picolet.
"He did that trick with his tongue?" demanded Kurumi, catching on. "Cool!"
"Challenge to what?" the android asked.
"Martial Arts Dining!" snapped Chardin.
"What stakes?" Nabiki butted in. She still had her cell phone, but if they could channel this into a regulated competition, the civil defense force might not be needed after all.
"Ahhh, Nabiki-san." Picolet suddenly glanced between the three very pretty girls. "I am still looking for a wife…"
Nuku shook her head. "Sorry. I have other commitments. Besides, I'm effectively sterile, so no children could come from a marriage," she said frankly and sadly.
Picolet's face fell. "Ah! You poor girl, my deepest regrets and sympathies," he said, immediately forgetting his earlier pique. "To have such a lovely girl so harmed by cruel fate." Nuku smiled slightly at this sudden turn around from anger to sympathy. "If you would be so kind, I will wager then, for a single kiss. Is that fair?"
""You are an enchanting rogue, Monsieur Picolet,"" Nuku said in flawless French. She offered her hand. ""One so gallant need not fight for a kiss, however.""
"Excuse me! Where did my food go?" demanded the Gambling King.
Picolet ignored him. ""It is torture to have one so fair and so skilled in my mother tongue, be in such pain of circumstance."" He lightly kissed her hand.
"Arrgh!" exclaimed the Gambling King. He stalked away and refilled his plate while Picolet murmured inanities over the pink-haired girl's hand. When he returned, he carefully placed several bodies between himself and the Frenchman.
"What are you guys saying?" demanded Kurumi of the cat-girl.
"He's trying to get her into bed with him," Nabiki shrugged eloquently. Her French was more than good enough to follow the discussion.
"Darn sight nicer than the way most tomcats do it, Nabiki," Nuku pointed out as Picolet froze in shock at the other's bluntness. "Duck!" Mikado went flying overhead.
"Who got him?" Kurumi demanded.
"Ranma, I believe," Gambling King observed. "You lose!" he added with a smirk to Kurumi.
"No fair!" Kurumi protested. "Ranma wasn't part of the bet!"
"Are you wagering with my guests, King?" Ranma's aura roared to life as he loomed over the little group.
"Nothing substantial, I assure you," the other said, sweating and waving back Kurumi's attempt to unfasten a brooch that she had offered to the wager.
"I mean it. You want to challenge me, fine. Leave the others alone," Ranma growled. Punch flew as Mikado and Sentaro scrapped. Ranma changed to girl. "Damn!" She glanced at Picolet, before dodging off after the Golden Pair again. Genma had gotten splashed as well and Azusa was trying to kidnap him from Nodoka.
Picolet's mouth was hanging open. Kurumi and Nuku stared at the excess of hanging lip and dentition. They glanced at one another. They looked back at the shocked Picolet. Nabiki looked pale.
"I don't think he knew my brother changed into a girl," suggested Kurumi.
"That appears a good guess. I've never seen anyone's jaw actually hit the floor before. Think it might have unhinged?" Nuku pondered.
"The way he's frozen, I'd say he is," Kurumi commented. "I think I know why Brother told Ryu not to challenge him at Dining Martial Arts. He looks like he could suck in a yatai all by himself."
While the two hree girls discussed Picolet's physical advantages and shortcomings and the Gambling King decided whether he had wet his pants, Ranma in girl-type tried to get a handle on the violence. Azusa was in her sights.
Azusa saw her coming. "Oooo! You're that ugly girl Mikado kissed before the Charlotte Cup."
"Who's ugly?" Ranma screeched, purpling in a truly ugly fashion. Briefly, she reconsidered her policy of not hitting girls. She desperately tried to fit Azusa into any category other than girl. She sighed in relief inwardly as Akane and Shampoo stomped up. They didn't have his psychological restraints.
Taro, back in girl form due to some spilled punch, snickered at Ranma's predicament and yanked the semi-conscious Mikado to his feet. This proved to be a mistake. Mikado suddenly reversed their positions and kissed Taro deeply, murmuring. "How sweet! You come to me in my time of need."
"Pervert!" bellowed Taro, belting him across the room. His flight knocked over Ranma, Azusa and Akane who was coming in to deal with the pest Ranma's foibles prevented her from trouncing. The group impacted into a table, which flipped like a catapult. Shampoo scrambled out of her clothes and darted for Kasumi. No one ever did anything to Kasumi. It might be the only safe place in the room.
Picolet came back to himself. His jaw snapped shut. "Saotome!" he bellowed. "How dare you make me think that a maiden you were!" He was so angry he tangled himself up in his speech. Not really hard to do with a tongue two-meters long. He stalked after the semiconscious, gender-switched martial artist.
"Haw! Haw! Haw!" brayed Senbei from his perch. (Splorch!) Senbei was suddenly squinting cross-eyed at a delicious Kasumi-baked cookie in the shape of a lucky badger sticking out of his mouth. His reaction had nothing to do with its taste. "BLEURGH!" He was forced to retreat, his minions following after him. He missed seeing Akane send Azusa to sleepy-land and Shampoo knocking out Mikado as he tried to grope her when Kasumi's tea spilled and left her au natural nearby. She then put down the Gambling King, who was actually returning for more food, just to make sure all bases were covered. She eyed Picolet as she scrambled back into her clothes. The Frenchman was delighted by the show, but was warned by her stance and ready violence that approach wasn't feasible. Relative silence followed.
The Morisato party entered without fanfare or announcement and stared at the carnage that moments before had been a Christmas Eve party. "Oh my goodness," said Baradandya quietly. The gazes of the kami crowd immediately zeroed in on Kasumi who stood like a lost waif in the midst of the madness.
"Stupid Senbei!" growled Sakurida. "Like he's the only one who can manipulate possibility…"
"You're still pretty new at it, so don't get uppity," cautioned Urudu.
"It's not fair," Sakurida muttered back. "You're always the same and won't grow old unless the whole world is about to go plooie. Beldandy's youth or age is tied to avatars like Keiichi, who only show up at best every two or three generations. "I'm stuck maturing at the rate the world is changing. The faster it changes the stronger my powers. Now that the Soviet era is over and that pervert is headed in as President in America…"
"Hush!" Baradandya said. "You three check to see if anyone is injured, I need to talk to Kasumi." She moved quickly over to the eldest daughter.
"Is everyone all right?" Sakurida called out.
"Hello?" Urd patted Mikado's cheek. "Anybody home?"
"Ranma, is anyone hurt?" Keiichi asked moving toward the redhead.
"Mostly our feelings, Kei," Ranma said, rubbing her head. She noticed Urudu's attention. "Uhhh… Your sister-in-law really doesn't want to do that," Ranma commented.
"Why?" Kei asked.
"You vision of loveliness! Let me kiss—(ZAAAP!)"
"If I want my lips massaged, I'll ask, pervert!" Urudu said tightly stepping back from the smoldering skater.
"Oooo! Close one."
"Sheesh," Keiichi muttered.
The gate bell rang. Ranma looked long-suffering but, since no one seemed inclined to demolish the dojo at the moment, went to find out who was calling. As the shoji closed, Baradandya, one arm about a sad-faced Kasumi, turned to regard the interlopers at the party.
"Gentlemen…" she said in icy tones. She reached out with her free hand and firmly grasped Azusa's arm as she began to wander after a party decoration. "And lady… You four have a lot of explaining to do."
The four eyed her uneasily. Kasumi seemed to draw from some unseen reserve and straightened proudly, her eyes flashing. "I apologize for the upset, Morisato-san," she said giving the teacher a short bow. "Apparently some people don't know how to act in a civilized manner." She glared at the four, who cringed. Baradandya smiled faintly. Kasumi could take care of this now. Her head turned minutely and her eyes caught her sisters'. Sakurida nodded her head to the outside and Urudu and Baradandya nodded.
"Aw, man!" Ranma snarled. She stalked out of the dojo and answered the call at the gate. "Yeah! Merry Christmas!" she snarled. She frowned as the burly man with a salt and pepper beard stepped back. "Sorry," she added. It was Christmas after all. "Uhhh, what can I do for ya? If it's a challenge, can it wait till Friday or Saturday? I'm a bit booked up."
"I apologize for interrupting your family festivities," the big man dithered, "but you see, I'm looking for my daughter. I was told I might find her here."
"Come on in," Ranma said. This seemed harmless enough. "What's her name?"
"Ukyo Kuonji."
"Urk?" Ranma jerked to a halt.
"She's here?" the big man asked eagerly.
"Uhhh…" Ranma looked him over again. Yes, this could easily be the long-lost Mr. Kuonji. "Exactly why do ya want ta see her?"
"She is my daughter," Mr. Kuonji pointed out.
"Really?" Ranma began to feel a bit hot. "Shouldn't ya have said, 'son'? I thought ya had her registered as a boy."
Kuonji stiffened. "I, uh…"
"How could ya do that ta Ucchan!" Ranma demanded.
"Ranma?" The big man suddenly boggled at the short form. "Is that you, boy?"
"Urk!" Caught!
"Ranma, is there trouble?" Akane called from the dojo shoji. "Who's out there with you?"
Recovering, Ranma glared at the older man. "If ya screw up Ucchan's Christmas, I'll beat the hell out of ya!"
The older man stepped back a little and peered at the figure before him. The short stature and high-pitched voice confused him. He reached back over his shoulder for a familiar-looking giant spatula. His fingers grasped nothing as the figure before him blurred and disappeared. He clutched wildly and turned, knowing somehow that his opponent was to his left.
"Lookin' fer this?"
Ukyo's father gulped as the figure twirled the heavy weapon-tool before grounding it to face him barehanded again.
Akane had ducked back into the dojo. "Ukyo! Ranma's fighting some guy, with a spatula just like yours!" She ducked back out and raced across to flank her fiancée.
"Don't, Akane. This is my problem." Ranma edged further away from the dojo. "Now, Kuonji-san, this is between you and…"
"Daddy!" Ukyo's exasperated tones undercut Ranma's menacing pronouncement. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Ukyo?" Her father peered through the gloom. "I…I was just checking up on my little girl…"
"Are ya sure?" Ranma said sarcastically. "Are ya really certain about that?"
"Ranma!" Ukyo strode forward toward her parent. "What are you doing here?" she demanded. "I called you when we set up the yatai at the university and that wasn't good enough! I told you then what I wanted to do, but even that wasn't enough." She glared, picked up his spatula and tossed it to him. "It also wasn't good enough that the Saotome's are acting like unpaid help." She reached around and unlimbered her own spatula.
"You don't understand, Ukyo, I have to satisfy Grandpa, too."
"Do I have to go back to Kansai and kick his butt?" she demanded grimly.
"Ukyo! Be respectful of your elders!" he admonished.
"What have my elders ever done that I should respect them?" Ukyo snarled. "You turned me into a boy to get revenge on a sneaky thief! I spent ten years hiding what I was, training in martial arts as well as okonomiyaki-ya. I thought I was hot stuff when I could beat anyone in the family. It wasn't nearly enough to put me level with Ranchan."
"He should never have run out on his obligations."
"He was six years old!" Ukyo screamed at him. "His Dad ran out on us! He didn't even know I was a girl!"
"It doesn't matter! Family honor was involved!" he screamed back.
"He was already promised to Akane!" she bellowed, shaking her spatula. "He's been trying to restore honor as best he can!"
"A simple yatai isn't good enough!" he bellowed back. Ukyo snarled wordlessly and her spatula began to glow. Ranma and Akane backed away. They hadn't seen her do anything like this before. Shampoo, who had followed close behind Ukyo, stopped and eyed the ki effect suspiciously. Mousse glided out, as did Cologne, Urd and Baradandya. The others remained in the dojoapparently unaware of the new conflict outside.
"Oh!" exclaimed Mrs. Morisato, stepping up beside Akane. "I'd hardly call it a simple yatai, Mr. Kuonji. Haven't you seen it?"
Kuonji-san blinked, startled at the change of tone and the gentle voice. "Who are you?"
"I am Baradandya Morisato, Ukyo's English teacher." She stood there, small and delicate, facing an armed man twice her size.
"You should be encouraging my daughter to fulfill her responsibilities!" he said defensively.
"As far as I know," Mrs. Morisato answered, "she always has. She works hard and does well in school. She has helped her friends and protected the weak as a true warrior. She has fought supernatural as well as human opponents. You can surely be proud of such a daughter." She smiled sweetly. "So… Have you seen her new yatai?"
Ukyo's father looked at her blankly, not fully comprehending what she said. "Yatai?"
"Ukyo, don't you have a photo of it?" the teacher asked, taking her by the arm. With the other she reached out and grasped the senior Kuonji by the wrist. "Come inside where there is light enough to see. It's darling. Her shop here in Nerima is popular, but I understand the yatai actually pulls in more money on many days..."
Ranma, Akane and Shampoo stared after the three figures. Urudu snapped her fingers to get their attention. "Hey, she's like that. Besides, Ukyo has suffered long enough." She waved them to follow. "C'mon! Everything is straightened out. Our treat. Deus ex Machina and all that..."
oOo
Later, as the hands of the clock approached midnight, Ranma avoided one last spilled drink and dragged Akane up on stage. "Oh, jeez! Not another song, Ranma! I'm getting hoarse!" she complained.
"No song. Not this time, tomboy," he answered. Still holding her hand he turned to the assembled family, friends and martial artists. "Hi, everybody. Well… It's been a long time coming. Usually, I just bull my way through things like this, but I think I've learned a few things since I came here." He waited for their silence and continued, one eye on the clock. "If I'm right, almost everyone knows about this except Akane."
Out in the audience,Ukyo gave up trying to find Ryoga again and rejoined her father. She didn't want his mouth loose at Ranma's coming announcement. Though she had broached an idea that might solve their problems, he hadn't had time to consider it properly. Besides, she hadn't discussed it with Konatsu, yet, either. Oh, well.
"Ranma, what are you up too?" Akane asked irritably. "You're going to do something stupid, aren't you?"
"I'll let ya do the critique in a minute, tomboy." He held tightly to her hand. "It took me awhile ta think my way through this. Since Kodachi has chosen Taro and Ukyo has agreed that her claim can be satisfied without marryin' me…" His grin widened as Ukyo scowled at her father and gripped his arm tighter. "…only Shampoo still has any claim ta my hide and that's not a claim recognized in Japan."
"But," Akane said, her brows drawing into a frown, "I recognize her claim, Ranma. I just have to figure out how to deal with it." Her frown deepened. "You're not…" she gulped suddenly, guessing where he was headed. "Oh, Ranma, please don't ask…"
"I know. Honor would make ya refuse. Since they ignore our laws and customs, we can ignore theirs… to a point. So I had a talk with Cologne. Akane?"
She nodded doubtfully.
"I want to make sure everyone understands that this wasn't my mother's idea nor did this come from her property or possessions. This is from me. From my heart." He took out a box and placed it in her hand. "Provided it's from just me, Shampoo's honor isn't affected. I've made ya wait long enough, Akane. Will you, when honor is satisfied, marry me?"
Akane opened the box. Her hand trembled. She glanced at Shampoo. Shampoo smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Ranma, I accept your ring for both of us. I love you, and would accept you as husband over all others," came her answer. Ranma frowned, puzzled at her response.
"See… Told you so, Great-grandmother."
"I believed she would as well, child, or I would never have agreed to this path. It will make things more difficult in the eyes of some." She sighed. "Still as dangerous as all our lives have been, this is for the best."
"Both of you?" Ranma sweated.
"Better watch it, Saotome," yelled Taro. "Those Amazon girls share a guy, sometimes." Ranma winced and looked a little wild.
Akane continued. "Shampoo said once, that heart-sisters share in everything," she told him, smirking at his expression. "But when honor has been satisfied, I will accept you for myself alone." She placed the ring on her finger, reached back and grabbed him by the pigtail. In front of everyone, she dragged him forward and kissed him almost savagely. "You're mine, Ranma!"
The clock struck midnight to the sounds of celebration.
After the guests and challengers had left, and everyone had turned in for the night, Akane sat and waited for her love — her fiancé. She had one last gift to give him and it was one she had been afraid to give him earlier. A tap on the window let her know he had arrived. She opened the pane of glass briefly, letting him slip lightly in and melted into his arms. "Oh, Ranma!"
He smirked at her then peered about. "Ya ain't got Shampoo hiding up here do ya?"
"She went back home with her family," Akane said reprovingly.
"You really gave me a turn when you accepted the ring for both of ya."
They kissed and sat on the bed, hands moving intently. A tiny sound jarred Ranma even through his concentration on the dark-haired girl in his arms. "What was that?" he murmured around the lip-lock he had been engaged in. He heard it again. "I thought you said…"
Akane laughed nervously. "Remember you were saying you wanted to get something to help you train?" When Ranma looked puzzled, she added, "When you first got back, when you were curing yourself from your ailurophobia?"
Ranma suddenly nodded. "When I borrowed Hanachiyo…" His eyes got a little wide. "A cat? You got me a cat?"
Akane cringed. "If you don't want her, I'll take her back…"
Ranma sat there, looking into her eyes, searching. "Let me see it," he said mildly.
Akane nervously got up and tiptoed to her closet. A moment later she returned with a small cage in her hands. Inside was a bright-eyed kitten. It was a calico with a very peculiar coat. Though most of her body was dark, her face was white except for a tiny black mark by the left side of her muzzle. Her dark body and head was patterned with orange blossoms, with one large orange mark just behind her ear. Her hind feet were white as if she had on socks. Her eyes were shading towards amber. She looked up at Ranma curiously and patted against the bars, hoping for some attention. Her loud 'miau' revealed sharp little teeth.
Akane held her breath as Ranma carefully opened the cage and let the captive out. The kitten jumped on the bed and immediately padded over and jumped in Ranma's lap, purring. Ranma flinched, received a reproachful look from the kitten and then smiled wryly. "I guess she knows who she belongs to."
"Oh, Ranma, do you… like her?" Akane asked.
"I think I like her. Whether I can do anything more than that, we'll have to see." He chuckled, stroking her fur gently. "Beautiful little thing, isn't she? She looks like one of those geisha dolls in a kimono."
Akane giggled. "Shall we call her Okesa, then?" She referred to the old fairytale of the cat that had repaid the kindness of her childless owners by turning into a geisha to earn money for their old age. Ranma looked at his fiancée sharply.
"I think I'd rather have just a cat, thank you," he said pointedly. "Lets call her… Kiku (Chrysanthemum) since she has all those marks on her that look like flowers." He scritched under her chin and grinned as the little animal closed her eyes and stretched into the caress. "Maybe I can get used to this."
"She'll grow on you," Akane promised.
"Eeuw! Yuck! I've got a cat growing from my lap," Ranma joked.
"Ranma!" Akane said in exasperation. A little later she added, "Maybe it's not such an exaggeration. I'll be very cross with her if she keeps me from cuddling with you."
"Heh! Why don't we see how she handles my curse?"
Akane went downstairs for some water and returned. Ranma shrank into female form. The kitten came to its feet as its rest was disturbed then gazed up at Ranma's more feminine features. She sniffed, even stood up and sniffed up Ranma's front. With a small sigh, it settled back down and curled up in the pigtailed martial artist's lap again. "She is kinda cute. Sorta like the one who gave her to me." Ranma rubbed gently behind the kitten's ears eliciting a squeaky purr. "Watcha up to?" Ranma asked as her fiancée slid into bed and propped the pillows up against the wall.
"I'm tired, Ranma. I want to go to sleep." Akane grinned. "I wouldn't mind a cuddle, but since I'm taller than you right now, and I don't want to come between you and your 'baby', you can cuddle against me for a change." She held out her arms invitingly.
Ranma looked at her open arms, then down at the furry lump in her lap. "Well… Just this once." She slid back against Akane and got comfortable. She 'eeep'ed as Akane's hands cupped her breasts.
"Hah! Serves you right. Now you know how I feel!" Akane stuck out her tongue.
"Oh, no!" Ranma pretended to swoon. "This was all just a plot to take advantage of me! Woe is me! Won't anyone rescue me from the clutches—! Eeep!" Akane had squeezed slightly.
(Snicker) "Baka!" Akane said fondly. "Ranma, I do love you!"
"Akane, I love you, too. Thank you for Kiku."
oOo
The next morning was cold. Ranma used his ki circumspectly to keep his body temperature stabilized. He stood in the railroad yard waiting for Happosai to battle over Mastery of the School. Soun and Genma waited with him, warming their hands over a little fire over which they boiled some water. A discussion with their respective families had revealed that while Happosai was Akane's great-grandfather, there was no acknowledged relationship between the freak and the Saotomes, other than master-student.
Ranma's breath hissed out into the air like smoke from a chimney. "I shoulda made sure of the time," he grumped. "Since I challenged him, I gotta be here or I forfeit. Oh, well. It'll be worth it." He glanced aside at the package he had brought with him, a spur of the moment whim. He'd been doing that lately, with some success. "Hope he hurries up."
"Want some tea, boy?" his father called out.
Ranma nodded. No need to be any more uncomfortable than he had to be. The party had ended on what was for Ranma, a high note. Not only had he successfully proposed to Akane, he had three interesting challenges coming up at the week's end. The argument between Picolet, Gambling King and Mikado had resulted in a three-part competition to be refereed by Mrs. Morisato and her husband. That had been the result of Baradandya Morisato's influence combined with Kasumi's distress. He had never seen her so angry as when they'd had faced down his irate opponents.
oOo
Akane faced Shampoo behind the Nekohanten. "Did we have to do this today?" Akane asked.
"Yes, Akane; Great grandmother felt it safer. Such a challenge would be made after his gift." She wrinkled her nose. "Besides, we due for one before year end, anyway." She tossed her head letting the bells in her ponytails ring. "Is also why must do without Ranma. Is no different though."
"Any new ground rules?" Akane asked, stripping off her jacket and tossing it aside.
"Anything goes," Shampoo answered. She had come out without a coat from the steamy interior of the restaurant. "Akane? I love you, no matter what happen. Okay?"
"I love you, too, Shampoo. Whatever happens..."
The two girls walked up to one another and embraced then briefly leaned back to back. With careful steps they moved away ten strides…
Akane broke left and then back, using her ki sense to locate Shampoo. Shampoo, in typical aggressiveness, somersaulted back and unleashed a weak ki blast, hoping to unsettle her opponent. Akane swept it aside and countered with a ki ribbon, before moving in to hammer at Shampoo's defenses.
Shampoo took over the ribbon and sent it back at her. Akane grabbed for it with her aura, but Shampoo kept it under tight control. Akane's shields took a pounding in turn. Then the ribbon was slapped aside and they clashed, kicks and hand strikes coming with staccato rhythm. Each tried to solve the other's shield and counter solutions to their own defenses.
Akane was faster in solution and speed of strike. Shampoo went low to sweep, then flipped away as Akane leaped high. Her hand came up and light arced out in a bow of ki. Akane attacked before she could concentrate the ki for the shot. Using mainly physical strength, she grappled and hurled her friend to one side. There was a snapping sound and Shampoo fell awkwardly, her ankle in a bear trap.
"Shampoo!" Akane leapt forward only to dodge as Shampoo struck with a sword that lay under the snow. She felt the cool breeze of the air against her skin. Another blouse was ruined. This could get to be very expensive. She dodged a second swipe, disarmed her opponent and delivered the faux deathblow. "You finished now?" she growled.
"All done," Shampoo admitted, relieved. She winced as Akane forced the trap's jaws apart.
"Idiot!" Akane grumped. "This could've broken your ankle. I'd hate to think what would happen if you landed face first." She sat back and glared. "This was part of your attack, wasn't it?"
"Yes," Shampoo admitted. "Is wrong?"
Akane sighed. "I could've seen it with my ki vision, if I'd been paying attention. Yes, I guess it's all right." She sat down and cradled Shampoo's ankle in her hands. "Let's see what I can do, since Ranma's not here." She traced the lines of ki, encouraging healing and health.
Cologne hopped out of the Nekohanten to survey the damages. "So… Akane threw you right into one of your own traps?" she chuckled. "Good strategy."
"Stupid luck," Akane retorted. "I didn't notice they were there," she admitted.
"Oh. Luck is always a component of battle as well."
Akane slung Shampoo's arm over her shoulder and helped her into the restaurant. Mousse glanced up sharply at the limping Amazon. "I hate this," he muttered. Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung glanced at the their sister and kept working. The restaurant already had customers.
Akane smiled at Mousse. "So do I. So does Ranma. You're in good company, Mousse."
"Really, Akane," Shampoo protested. "I am okay. I work in restaurant and give sisters some time to selves." She grimaced. "Only fair."
That got a reaction from the girls. "Really?" squealed one.
"Big sister so nice!" chattered the other.
"How can you be so heartless?" demanded Mousse, hands tearing at his hair. "Your sister is hurt and you're yammering about how nice it is?"
They looked at him flatly. "Shampoo warrior, Mousse," Lung-Lung reminded him.
"Besides, Akane fix with ki. We watch with ki vision."
"You have it now?" Akane asked surprised.
Lung-Lung nodded. "Grandmother make us stand on bamboo post two fingers thick, and meditate. Remember how you say ice cream help find center? Great-grandmother's staff on top of head work just as well." She snickered and glanced sidewise slyly. "Though Ling-Ling need do twice…"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Nyah!"
"Nyah!"
"Now Akane see fabled Amazon technique, 'Tongue Lashing'," Shampoo said loudly. Her sisters squalled like singed cats. "Maybe if sisters so busy talking, they like to talk and work at same time? Maybe need discipline more than time off…"
"Waaaah! You promised!" they wailed.
Akane walked down the street trailed by two fourteen-year-old Amazons. Her ruined blouse had been replaced with one of Shampoo's silk tops. "Don't you guys get to go everywhere on deliveries?" she asked.
"Yes, but can only…" Lung-Lung sought for the word, "…browse. Ah! Window-shop! Yes! We do not know where good prices are and want other clothes to look more like girls here!"
"Uh-huh! Like to try blue jeans and bustier and high top socks and…" Ling-Ling began reciting a list of things she liked about Japan.
"Like that new singer, with red hair streak? He smoooooth!" drawled Lung-Lung.
"Paah! He not warrior!" protested her sister.
"He look like Tuxedo Kamen," Lung-Lung observed. Ling-Ling pouted and decided whether to grant that comparison.
Akane broke in. "But why are you following me around?"
"You sister of sister," Ling-Ling chimed. "You take good care of us."
"You so nice-nice anyway, you help us find good deals," added Lung-Lung, "Hmmm?" they said, together.
Akane briefly considered throttling them. "How much money do you have?"
"Oh, no, no, no!" they said in unison. Ling-Ling took over. "Answer Mercenary-girl when ask that, once. Never again!"
"I'm not my sister," Akane answered, knowing exactly whom they meant. "I need an idea of what you can afford."
The two huddled in a quick quiet consultation. "Okay." They held out their spending money, about 2500 yen.
Akane looked at their expectant faces. "What were you hoping to look at?" she asked finally, totally underwelmed by their wealth.
"Jeans! Victoria's Secret! Manga!"
"Manga," Akane decided for them. "Blue jeans are 10,000 yen or more. Victoria Secret is worse."
"Okay!"
Akane groaned at the cheerful almost brainless sounding response. It was going to be a long day.
oOo
Ranma blasted a meter wide circle clear of snow down to dry earth.
"Feet getting cold, boy?" Genma asked.
"Nah! Just didn't want ta go girl. The snow melt was soaking through my shoes."
"Hmmm…" Soun looked up. "Who knows? Perhaps that's what the Master's waiting for."
"He's gonna be waiting a long time, then," snapped Ranma. "Still…" He considered the problem of the missing master and debated his options.
"Well, I'm for lunch!" Genma said rising. He stretched and worked some kinks out. "We'll bring something back for you…"
"Now that's not fair!" shouted Ranma. "I'm fighting and yer gonna pig out? I'll be lucky if I get a bean roll or a handful of pocky when yer done!"
"Why don't you two wait and I'll get something from home," Soun suggested. "I'm sure Kasumi will be glad to cook up something."
"That sounds good," Ranma admitted.
"I can wait, I guess," Genma conceded in anticipation for Kasumi's cooking. His stomach growled and he patted it affectionately. It wasn't as large as it used to be. Nodoka had him on a strict diet and Kurumi was diligent in enforcing it. Soun trotted away leaving the two Saotomes alone. "Can you really take him boy?" Genma asked his son.
"I don't know. If it's a straight fight or ki techniques, I can do it. Even if he proposes panty snatching, I could probably beat him, though Akane would kill me when she found out. I've figured out how he gets the damn things off a girl's body without ripping them and with my speed..." Ranma grimaced. "This isn't going to be a normal fight, is it?"
"I'm glad you understand that." Genma rocked on his haunches. "How does he do it?" he asked after a moment. "The panty thing, I mean."
"Pops," Ranma growled warningly, "You start that and mom will kill you."
"I'm just showing professional curiosity. Besides, I might try it on her." He grinned roguishly at Ranma's blush. "How did you test your technique? Akane?"
Ranma blushed worse and cursed himself for his lack of control.
Genma snickered. "How'd you convince the old ghoul to put up with what you and Akane are doing?" he asked. "It doesn't matter to me when the grandchildren come," he added.
"Yer showin' Happosai's trainin', old man," Ranma growled at the implication. "Akane and me ain't doin' that yet, not that it's any of yer business."
"What?" Genma barked. "Are you a man or a…"
"Don't you start! It hurts like hell not to go all the way, ya pervert," Ranma snarled. "She's so beautiful! But it would mess up our friendship with Shampoo. I can wait for a while, until we can sort that out."
"I have ears, boy. Maybe you can work out a joint Joketsuzoku marriage. Have them both! Urk!" Genma rolled over backwards holding his head. Ranma's short downward punch had hurt.
"Cut out the hentai stuff! I try ta think with my head, not my shaft! What ever happens, Akane's gonna have to approve first. I'm not gonna screw around and make her unhappy like you did with Mom." His head turned sharply and he looked up. "What?"
Akane, followed by Shampoo's sisters, hopped the fence and approached. The latter were pouring over a manga and giggling madly. Akane had a long-suffering look on her face. "Hi, Ranma!" She glanced about the lot, using more than her physical senses. "He hasn't shown up then? Where's Dad?"
"No, the freak hasn't shown up, yet and yer Dad went ta get lunch for us." He glanced at the girls. "What's with them?"
"Their first manga. I hope Cologne doesn't declare war on me for this," Akane added, exasperated.
"Sailor Moon, right?" Ranma hazarded.
"You had to ask?" Akane acknowledged.
Ranma frowned, looking down at his fiancée. "Can ya do yer long-range ki tracking thingy on the freak? I'm getting tired of waiting out here."
"This from the man who waited three days for Ryoga's challenge?" Akane grinned. "I suppose I can for my tough, manly fiancée," she teased. She concentrated and then pointed. "It's not very strong, but he should be that way, in his natural form."
Ranma looked puzzled. "Towards Furinkan? Can't be. There's nobody there." He fidgeted. "Akane, let's go track him down. I'd rather know where he is and what he's doin' than wait here."
"Want me to stay, boy, in case he shows up?" Genma asked, getting to his feet.
"Nah! Go over to the Tendo's. If the fight's on, Akane will come get ya. If not, we'll meet ya there."
"Sounds like a plan." Genma headed toward the Tendos.
"Point the way, Akane." Ranma bowed to her.
She smiled, walked over and hopped up in his arms. "That way," she pointed.
Ranma gave her a slow grin. "And why am I luggin' you around?"
"Because I'm tired from fighting with Shampoo this morning and shepherding her sisters all over the shopping district. Besides, you're the wild horse..." She smirked and snuggled close. "So give me a wild ride, lover," she whispered in his ear. He shivered and walked over to pick up the forearm-long package he had brought with him. She rolled her eyes. She knew what was in it, and thought he was crazy, but held it for him. He ran for the fence, flowed over the top and leaped for the first roof. Being encumbered slowed him down enough that Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung could keep up.
"Where you going, Ranma?" the latter yelled.
"Lookin' for Happosai. I'm fightin' him today and I'm tired of waitin'."
"We going home then!" shouted Ling-Ling. "Old freak is big pain!"
"See later! Thank you, Akane!" Lung-Lung added. They peeled off and headed for the Nekohanten.
Ranma and Akane dropped down near their high school, and Akane resumed her feet, a puzzled expression on her face. "He's here, I think." She moved back and forth, pointing. "The back entrance by the auditorium." She frowned. "Is he trying some new hiding technique? His signal's not strong at all." They trotted around the building. "Over there, I think."
"I don't see anything, Akane," Ranma complained. Akane walked slowly forward, pointing and pointing, till her hand dipped down to a lump in the snow. They stared at each other. Ranma knelt and swept away the two inches that had fallen since the ballet. A small form lay under the white blanket.
"Oh, my god!" Akane exclaimed, shocked.
"He's alive, though Kamisama knows how," Ranma said. Happosai lay where they had left him after the performance. "Let's get him home, quick!" Ranma gently picked up the old martial artist and raced toward the Tendos, Akane hot behind him.