(Author's notes: Even if you haven't read my very long and epic Ducktales story "Twisted Strings of Fate," you can still read this story. It takes place after TSoF, but no background information is needed. For those who are reading TSoF, there are no ending spoilers in this story. In fact, the sequel to TSoF will be completely different than what is portrayed in this short story, although I won't say how.

This story was inspired by a writing prompt on tumblr.)

Negaduck is an A-hole

Picking up his special phone after two rings, Drake Mallard held it up to his ear, expecting the voice of the chief of police or one of his other informants that he was needed as his alter ego. However, instead, he heard a soft, female voice whispering.

"He's back."

And Drake knew exactly who was speaking and who "he" was. "I'm on my way," he said before hanging up. Turning to his roommate, he clenched his fists. "Come on, LP. We're needed."

The two leaped into twin armchairs before Drake slammed his hand over the statue of one of literature's greatest mystery detectives, Basil of Baker Street. The armchairs tilted backward to drop the two into a secret room underneath their home where Drake changed quickly out of his button-up shirt into his purple spandex. With Launchpad in the sidecar of the Ratcatcher, he revved the engine to speed through the underground tunnels under the suburbs that led out onto the streets from a dirty alley behind a bar.

"What's going on, DW? Is it a robbery at the bank? Where are we going?" Launchpad asked curiously. "It must be super important if we're going out in the middle of the day."

"It is," Darkwing Duck said. "Launchpad, we're going to…" and here he paused—not for dramatic effect—but with a sag of his shoulders. "…the library. Again."

Launchpad grimaced. He knew exactly why his partner lacked his usual enthusiasm for his work as a hero.

Parking on the street just outside the two-story, gothic-style St. Canard library, they raced inside where they were met by the head librarian.

"Thank goodness you're here," she said, adjusting her red-rimmed glasses.

Drake always thought the head librarian could have been a carbon-copy of the librarian from The Music Man, a female duck with soft feathers, a neat bun, and always wearing a formal blouse and long skirt. However, her voice was more wispy and meek than the actress that portrayed the spunky female lead.

"Where is he?" Darkwing asked, adjusting the brim of his hat out of habit.

"He's in Young Adult Fiction," she said, pointing toward a particular set of tall shelves. "Please, he's scaring the patrons."

"We'll take care of this," Darkwing said, gesturing to the taller duck behind him. Marching, he exuded authority and a protective nature so that those who saw him would be reassured by his presence. After looking down a few isles, Darkwing found the source of the librarian's nerves.

The bright yellows and dark reds were stark against the muted colors of the walls and carpet. Darkwing wondered where Jim had gotten the costume; the original Negaduck garb was destroyed when he went on anti-psychotics months ago. He either made it himself or found the whole ensemble online and dyed it those gaudy colors to become the twisted version of his old role.

Aside from the costume, Negaduck's actions in the library seemed innocent enough until he pulled a handful of books from one shelf and turned around to place them on random shelves on the opposite stack, which would most likely infuriate readers looking for those titles.

"Negaduck, stop this," Darkwing tried to say with his usual heroic authority, however he couldn't help but compare his tone to when he has to be stern with Gosalyn, which she often called his "Dad voice."

Jim Starling merely glanced at him before returning to his task of putting all the books out of order, no doubt upsetting anyone in the vicinity with OCD.

"I said stop it. And you will leave the library immediately," Darkwing demanded, taking a step forward. He didn't want to have to get physical with the man he considered his hero for most of his life.

"I'm not doing anything illegal," Negaduck said with a shrug, waving a teen romance around. "It's a public place. I'm allowed to be here like everyone else."

Gritting his teeth, Darkwing moved closer, using a lower tone. He didn't want anyone listening in to know that he was on a first name basis with Negaduck and visa versa. "Jim," he hissed. "We've discussed this. You're upsetting people when you dress like that. And you have to stop this…this…I don't even know what to call it. You need to stop."

If Darkwing didn't know any better, he would have thought Gosalyn had been teaching Negaduck the art of eye rolling, the older man's beak twisted in a mixture of disgust and boredom.

"Fine," Negaduck said, dropping the books he was holding. With his hands up, he marched past Darkwing and Launchpad as if there was a gun at his back.

Darkwing and Launchpad followed Negaduck through the library, aware that all eyes were watching them, relief appearing in their wake. Even when the pair of heroes were no longer at his back, Negaduck exited the building.

"Thank you so much," the librarian said in her breathy voice. "But isn't there some way to make sure he can't come back. We've gotten so many complaints."

"I'm afraid not," Darkwing said with a shake of his head. "Not unless you want to make a formal complaint to the police."

The librarian paled, shaking her head. "No, I-I don't think we need to go that far."

Darkwing suspected this wasn't because the librarian had a forgiving nature. She was that afraid of the twisted duck.

Launchpad tapped on Darkwing's shoulder, "Uh, I think we're needed somewhere else," the pilot said, pointing to outside the library.

Through the large windows of the building, Darkwing saw a pair of police officers and a bit of red, torn cape flapping in the breeze.

"Excuse me," Darkwing said while tipping his hat at the librarian. His job was never done.

In front of the library, there was a statue of a boy and a girl with their hands clasped, looking as if the boy were swinging the girl so hard that her feet were in the air. Negaduck was up on the statue's pedestal, holding the legs of the girl, making him look as if he were having a tug-of-war with the statues. Several teenagers were laughing and taking pictures, but the two officers did not look amused.

"Officers, is there a problem?" Darkwing asked, running up to them.

"Yeah, this joker here won't get off the statue," the officer said, glaring up at Negaduck.

"It's not illegal," Negaduck said, hopping up into the arms of the children to the hoots of the teenagers.

"Isn't there something in the handbook about arresting a person if they don't obey an officer?" the one on the left asked.

Darkwing wished it were so. Negaduck might learn something by being hauled away by the police, but unfortunately disobeying an officer is only a misdemeanor and in St. Canard, it meant a ticket at most. And he had an inkling that Negaduck wasn't afraid of getting one of those.

Negaduck moved to the shoulders of the boy for a piggy-back ride, taking off his hat as if he were a cowboy to pose for the teens.

"Okay, you've had your fun," Darkwing said, pulling on Negaduck's cape. He and Launchpad barely caught him around the arms before he fell hard against the concrete. "Let's get you home."

"What is he, on drugs?" the other officer asked.

"No, but he should be," Darkwing snarled, frog-marching Negaduck away from the scene. "What gives, Jim? This is the third time I've been called about this kind of thing. Did something happen with Dr. Hoggins."

"Get off me," Negaduck growled, pushing the two away. "I can do what I want. I haven't done anything wrong." With hunched shoulders, he walked at a determined pace toward the park near the library.

Darkwing sighed. He had more important things to do than to baby-sit Jim Starling when he was on one of his psychotic episodes, but he couldn't let Negaduck just wander around St. Canard without supervision. Especially where there were influential children.

In the park, Darkwing proceeded to shadow his negative doppelgänger.

"Stop that," Darkwing ordered when Negaduck fished for coins from the fountain.

"Not illegal," Negaduck said smugly, pocketing the change.

Next, Negaduck took possession of all three swings at the playground, stretching his entire both through all three swings as if it were a hammock, rocking gently in the sun as several kids stared.

"Get off of those," Darkwing fumed, not quite believing his heroic expertise was being wasted.

"Not illegal," Negaduck said as he yawned and stretched.

After a quick nap, Starling then moved his terror to a grocery store across the street by grabbing shopping carts and putting them in parking spaces.

As Negaduck shouted yet again, "Not illegal," Darkwing's fingers turned into claws and he jumped forward to strangle the older duck's neck but something held him back.

"Now DW, you know that Jim isn't completely of sound mind," Launchpad said, sounding just as laid back as if he were talking about the weather. "And technically he hasn't done anything really bad, so we can't punish him. He's not evil."

"He's putting carts in parking spaces," Darkwing justified.

"You know that if we push him, his Negaduck side could come out more," Launchpad warned.

Darkwing shuddered, remembering the chain saw. If they wanted to keep Negaduck at a minimum threat level, they had to handle him with kid gloves.

"You're right," Darkwing said, rolling his shoulder to calm himself down. But that didn't stop his desire to punch him just once. "But we can't let him continue doing…whatever this is."

Negaduck was now loitering under a "Do no loiter" sign. Even though it was posted, it wasn't a law only a request, so still no illegal.

"If only there was a way to get him to do something illegal, then we could act," Darkwing mulled.

If Launchpad wondered about the morality of this, he didn't comment. "I think we need to call in our ace," he suggested instead.

"No, it hasn't come to that," Darkwing insisted, putting his foot down. "I can do this. I'm Darkwing Duck. We don't have to make that call."

"But what else can we do?" Launchpad asked, holding out his hands to say he had nothing.

Negaduck went into the store. Who knew what kind of annoying damage he could do that wasn't illegal?

"Okay, fine," Darkwing said with a sigh, heading toward the store. "Let's call her."

As they searched the store for any sign of Negaduck—how he was able to blend in with the shoppers were beyond them—Darkwing held the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Drake. What's up?" the voice on the other end asked.

"Charity, we have a situation here," Darkwing said.

"What kind of situation? I'm a little busy right now," Charity said, her voice sounding distant as if she had put him on speaker.

"Well…it's Jim. He's back in costume," Darkwing said, hearing strange noises in the background. He looked down several isles, not finding the familiar red and yellow.

"Stop it!"

"What was that?"

"Not you," Charity said. She was obviously distracted by something. "You really need help with Jim? Or are you busy with something else?"

"No, Launchpad and I are following him right now. We're in a grocery store," Darkwing said, moving into the produce section and finding the large, red wide-brimmed hat bobbing up and down.

"What's he doing?" Charity asked.

Darkwing narrowed his eyes. "He's licking the apples."

Sensing he was being watched, Negaduck locked eyes with Darkwing as his tongue slowly glided down a red delicious before he put it back on the pile. Several shoppers moved to another section of the store.

"Come on, get it," Charity growled.

"What was that?" Darkwing asked.

"I wasn't talking to you," Charity said. "Are you sure you really need me? You're the super hero. Do your hero stuff."

"Technically, he hasn't done anything illegal," Darkwing said with a sigh. "And he doesn't listen to me."

"Come on. Come on. You can do it," Charity chanted in a hushed tone.

"What the heck are you doing?" Darkwing asked.

"I'm capturing a Pikachu," Charity said.

Darkwing then recognized the music and sound effects of the video game. He was quite familiar with it since he and Gosalyn have come at odds as to who gets to play it during which times of the day.

"Really? Get down here, Charity," Darkwing said, shaking his head.

"Fine. But you owe me," the lovebird said before saying goodbye and hanging up.

While they waited for backup, Launchpad and Darkwing tried their best to limit the damage that Negaduck wracked upon the grocery store, yet they couldn't stop him from walking away with unattended carts and left them in different sections of the store, moving all the toilet paper to the frozen food section where he made a fort, and mixed the sugar-free candy bags with the regular candy.

Darkwing saw store employees peaking around bends and through shelves to check on the three ducks but nobody said anything. Most people in St. Canard knew better than to mess with anyone who wore a flashy costume and a mask.

It was when Negaduck was placing all the cereal boxes on the highest shelves where anyone under 5'6" couldn't reach that Charity found them in the store. With hands on her hips, she tilted her head and frowned. "Jim Starling, what do you think you're doing?" she asked.

For the first time that day, the air of smugness that Negaduck wore like a king's crown disappeared. His arms went to his side and he dropped a box of cereal. "Charity," he whispered, his eyes sending accusing dagger at Darkwing Duck as if to ask, "Did you tattle?"

"Have you been causing trouble again?" It may have been a question you would ask a child, but Charity said it gently, walking to the male duck.

Negaduck didn't say anything, his head lowered only so he could look her in the eyes.

"When was the last time you took your medication?" Charity asked with concern. "Have you been attending your sessions with your doctor?"

Brows knit together, Negaduck looked away. "I think I ran out of pills."

Charity sighed. "And you were so busy that you forgot to refill them, right?"

Jim Starling shrugged.

Charity took his hand. "Come on. Let's go call Dr. Hoggins. She usually has an emergency stash for you."

Darkwing and Launchpad watched the interaction, the latter smiling, glad to see that everything turned out alright in the end. The former, however, glowered, not believing that Negaduck deserved such gentle treatment for basically being a giant jerk.

As Charity and Negaduck passed by the heroic duo, the masked duck glanced over his shoulder and gave Darkwing the biggest, smirk as he raised his middle finger.

Biting his tongue to prevent him from making a scene, Darkwing was certain of one thing: Negaduck's purpose wasn't to terrorize St. Canard but to be a giant thorn in Darkwing's posterior.