AN: This is the renewed and updated version of End of the Rope. There are some scenes here that are similar to ones from the snippet thread, but they will be in a different order and greatly expanded upon in some areas. Basically this whole fic is being reworked into something larger.

If you read the original version, don't skip the first chapter, as almost every scene is either expanded, subtly reworked and retooled, or shifted locations entirely. More than half of this chapter is essentially brand new.

The original premise focused on the aftermath of the climax with occasional flashbacks to how things led up to it. This is going to be more of that story instead - with very occasional flashforwards to dealing with the aftermath, from other perspectives.

Fair warning before we proceed: this is pretty much what I consider to be one of my darkest timelines. Maybe even more so because even though people want to help, they…aren't very good at it.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of past suicide attempts in this chapter. If you have any such thoughts or concerns, please talk to someone or call your national helpline.

Meetings 01

I had done power testing so many times, I was growing sick of it, but there was always 'one more variation' or 'one more power interaction' to try. The other Wards apparently had the same problems with the researchers' requests, but they had all stopped going back after one or two visits. I was pretty much the only one who kept humoring them.

Maybe I was hoping that they would figure out why I was always so exhausted since my Trigger.

At least this time they hadn't asked me to work with more tinkers. The tinkers were always the worst. They expected so much from my buffs, but it seemed to be completely random how much their work improved. Armsmaster was able to increase his efficiency by a factor of 10 for almost an hour while Kid Win had only managed to take his hoverboard apart and put his stun gun together a little faster than normal.

I had also nearly collapsed after buffing Armsmaster so we hadn't tried anything again with him. The researchers had said it was because I hadn't eaten, but I could've sworn I'd had lunch beforehand…

This time we were just going for non-capes again. We had already done this before. I had even gone on patrol with a few troopers the other week. I didn't know what else they wanted this time. It didn't really matter. I would jump through their hoops if it might lead to an answer. I just wanted to be able to relax again.

The PRT trooper who was the subject for this test chuckled as he tossed the bench against the wall. Dave? Mike? Dave. I worked with Dave last week. This was Dave. Probably. It…probably didn't really matter much. Dave stood up straight, flexing his arms and smiling wide. I returned his easy grin, even though I died inside a little bit more. He was so happy to be able to get a Brute rating, even for just a few minutes, yet it tired me out so much. And I could only give it to one or two troopers at once without needing to sit down and rest. And I couldn't even empower myself!

Parahumans were a little better than non-capes. They were easier to work with, their buffs lasted longer, they didn't hurt. None of that changed that I was - at best - just a knock-off Othala. I was a weaker, more pathetic version of her. At least Othala could make people invincible. I couldn't even make someone bulletproof. I could barely give them minor regeneration. The one improvement over the Empire cape I had was that all of my buffs were a package deal. She had to choose just one.

"That's very impressive Mr. Sanders," Doctor Mickel said. She walked out from behind the security shield and ticked another block off on her tablet. "Any diminishment in the empowerment?"

"None that I can feel. This is amazing, Braid. If you could buff all of my team like this we'd be so much more effective. Safer too!"

"I can't do that," I mumbled. "We tried that a few weeks ago."

Doctor Mickel frowned as she tapped at the tablet. "Are you absolutely sure? You've gained experience since then. From the readings I'm getting, there is a distinct power gradient here. Most of the times I've seen something like this there's usually another aspect of the power. Perhaps something longer distance or a second toggle, maybe to Thinker abilities instead of Brutes?"

"Hey, lay off the kid Doc, she knows her powers better than we lowly grunts."

"I am a researcher, thank you very much."

"I passed out when we tried. Remember? It should be in the notes," I said.

She wasn't listening. She was just arguing with Dave now, both of them having forgotten I was even still in the room.

"This is all I can do," I mumbled, shaking my head. The whisper at the back of my skull calling me a liar didn't help my feelings of uselessness. The shame and guilt from the reminder of Mr. Spinster was just more pain heaped on top. I broke out in a cold sweat whenever I thought about my hamster's grave in my flower garden. I shouldn't have buried him so close to the house. That had been a mistake. It was hard to avoid remembering it.

Though, really, I didn't actually go to the house most days anymore. Since I had found dad, since I had…we had been staying at Kurt and Lacey's; so it was easier to forget about what had happened to Mr. Spinster…

My fingers clenched and my chest tightened as bile rose in my throat. It wasn't safe to remember Mr. Spinster. It was safer to focus on other things.

Like Dad.

Dad would be okay. He would get better. He would. The doctors said the new treatment had a good chance of working. He'd probably be able to talk again in a few weeks!

I just had to figure out how to keep paying for the medicine until our insurance approved it. My Wards pay would cover most of the bill. Probably. If I was careful with my own spending. I could afford to skip a few meals here and there.

I wanted to lose weight anyway. This would help! It was a good thing. I would just…avoid mentioning it to Emma in my email. She would make a big deal of it. This didn't have anything to do with the…with... No, it had nothing at all to do with that; but she would think it did. So I just couldn't tell her. It would probably interfere with her therapy anyway if she still thought that I was…that I was…that I was having issues. She'd want to come back, and they had said that was a bad idea. She shouldn't come to Brockton Bay for…a while. Too long. Far too long. She was going to be gone for…so long…I had just gotten her back and she was already going to be gone for so, so long…

"Braid, when do you go out on patrol again?"

I quashed my thoughts and instead pulled up another smile, throwing it across my face. It wouldn't reach my eyes, they never did anymore. "Wednesday. I'll be heading out with Aegis. Did you want me to have him wear the scanner again?"

"Yes, definitely. Aegis has a markedly different reaction to your ability than most of the other personnel. Do you have any idea why? Usually each cape has an insight into the nature of their own powers. Anything you can give me might help."

"Well, I know that Kid Win was saying that he could think faster and focus better when I buffed him. I find that capes in general just seem to…improve. It happens with non-capes too, but -"

"For a much shorter duration, yes. But why?" she murmured, staring at her tablet.

"Seriously, Doc, literally anything the kid can give us helps immensely. Stop mumbling like this is all a bad thing," Dave picked up the bench again, lifting it one handed. "Powers are weird. She helps my guys stay alive. It's a good thing!"

"She can only do a few people for such a small period of time…Maybe she needs to improve her stamina through repeated applications? Something to try. There's definitely another aspect here somewhere, we just need to find it."

"I think it just works differently with parahumans. Maybe that's the other aspect?" I said, shrugging. My fake smile cracked as Mr. Spinster stared at me from his grave with his dead, accusing, gaze.

Liar.

After the testing had finished, I stuck around the base for a while longer. It was…easier than going home. Safer. Simpler.

As long as I stayed until 9 o'clock, maybe 10, then Kurt and Lacey would be asleep by the time I got in. Dad would be sleeping by 7 or 8 so really, I could leave now. I just…I hated how they looked at me. Pity I could deal with, but I didn't want them to keep walking on eggshells. I wasn't going to crack, not again. I had done that already. I had a support system now. I had my sister back, even if she was a hundred miles away.

They didn't have to keep asking me if I was okay every five minutes. I was just tired.

The cafeteria food wasn't bad. It was actually pretty good for once, whoever had made the meatloaf knew what they were doing, surprisingly enough. I was almost done with the food when my phone buzzed. Sighing, I pulled it out and tapped at the icon, idly laying my hand on the table as a bit of life flowed back into me.

"This is Braid."

"It's Console. You're still registered as being in the building, are you free?"

I looked down at the last few bites of my meatloaf. There were two dead flies next to my plate now too, their bodies right near my hand. My stomach turning at the sight, I pushed the tray away. "Yeah, I just finished my meal. Why?"

"Another patrol cancellation notice came in a few moments ago and the only other person here is Vista. She's maxed on hours for the week and we can't go further without parental approval. I've reached out to the Protectorate, but they won't be able to get anyone on-scene for over an hour. Are you up to standing in as a replacement?"

I stood and dumped out the remnants of my dinner. "You know I need the money and it's not like I can really say no since I'm in the building anyway. Aegis was on the schedule for tonight wasn't he? He almost never cancels."

"…It was Gallant."

My stomach dropped and I stopped, having to lean against the wall as my heart started pounding.

"Sorry."

"Console…"

"Your patrol is in 10 minutes. If it helps, I've cut the time you both are out there because of the short notice. Instead of four hours it's just two-and-a-half."

"…I'm not supposed to go out with her…" I whispered.

I could hear Console's wince through the line. "It's just two-and-a-half hours, Braid. She probably won't even stay near you. We all know what Stalker is like, how she runs away from her partners as soon as the missions start. This is better than dealing with the shit-storm of refusing a patrol when you're in the building…right?"

"Yeah…" I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force myself to just think of the money. The overtime would help a lot with Dad's medicine. "I'll be ready in five minutes."

"Braid…you know this is like the third time this has happened right? Maybe you should start going home earlier. I'm starting to think Stalker is scheduling her evening patrols with Gallant on purpose like this."

I wouldn't put it past Sophia. Though that did seem a bit petty even for her. She was horrible, but even she couldn't know for sure that Dean would call out. No, this was just…bad luck. Right?

Like everything else in my life now-a-days.

"I need to get changed. I'll call back once I'm on station."

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I wasn't quite as tired as earlier. Dinner must have helped.

Yeah. That was it. I just needed to eat more.

Liar.

\/\/~*.' '.*~\/\/

Forward

"I don't care what you have to do, Piggot. Fix! This! NOW!"

"Madam Director -"

Director Costa-Brown slammed her hands onto the table, leaning forward until her face was just inches away from the camera. "Stop. Talking. I'm going to say this in small words so you can understand. Braid is capable of resurrecting people. I don't care that Braid is unstable. I don't care that the girl she brought back is a Villain. She could have brought back fucking Jack Slash for all I fucking care. She resurrects capes. You fucked this up, Piggot, now unfuck it before I serve her your head on a silver platter!"

The video feed cut out and Emily fell against the backing of her chair with a scowl etched across her face. "I hate capes," she spat.

How had this even happened?

At the same time, a few rooms over, Armsmaster pointed at a screen on the wall, fighting down the urge to rush through this so he could just…get out of there. They needed to find Braid. They needed to find her and convince her to come back. They needed to…fix this.

This was his fault. He didn't know what exactly he had done wrong, but he knew he had said something wrong somewhere in the past few weeks and it had been part of the problem. Just the proverbial straw on the back of the camel. Just one more straw. Had it been the final one? The final bit of solder that had caused the short circuit?

He shook his head. He needed to focus on the moment, at least long enough to be able to brief his fellow heroes. All of the local Protectorate was present, in addition to Aegis as the Wards representative. The PRT had not been invited to this meeting. The soon-to-be-Former Deputy-Director Renick had been, very politely, escorted from the room when he had attempted to gain entry. They took care of their own.

Even if it was far, far too late.

"We've begun coordinating with Grue and Hellhound. Both have agreed to search this section of the city. Regent is theoretically patrolling this portion."

Dauntless leaned forward. "How helpful is Regent going to be? I thought that his power was just minor nerve control."

"If we're correct with his previous identity being Hijack, then there is a distinct possibility that he was around Braid long enough for him to have acclimated to her. He'll know if she's in his range. He will certainly be able to find Tattletale should she fall within his purview," Armsmaster sighed, already knowing the next question and seeing no way to prevent it.

"How are we remotely okay with letting someone we think is Hijack come close enough to Braid to Master her?" Dauntless asked. "Aren't things bad enough as it is?! We already have one dead Ward, another on the run, a third traumatized, to say absolutely nothing about the fucking massacre in that shelter!" His spine straightened and his hands closed tighter around the coffee mug in his hands, small cracks spider-webbing out from under his fingers.

"If you had read my briefing you would realize that the boy seems to actually like her. Dragon doesn't believe he is as sociopathic as the initial reports indicated. All indications are that he will actually assist in locating her and Tattletale, then help to recover them before anything…else occurs."

Battery wrung her hands, not looking up as she asked, "Do we know why she ran? I mean really know? Not the PR bullshit that Glenn had us put out?"

"What, bringing her girlfriend back from the dead isn't enough for you? She needs more reason to freak out and run for the hills?" Assault muttered.

"She was on the run before Coil fucking kidnapped her. That's what I'm talking about," she snapped.

Aegis grimaced. "Braid had problems with Shadow Stalker. We all knew it. She'd even managed to get a restraining order a few days before…uh, the incident. None of us expected this though."

"We can discuss the inciting incident later. Right now, we need to focus on the recent critical point. Coil. Aegis, has Vista said anything about her experience in the mercenary base?"

"Not really. Vista was extremely reluctant to talk about it. I know she saw something that rattled her, but she won't tell me what it was."

Armsmaster swallowed hard, his throat suddenly very dry. This was his fault. He had helped to drive her away. He hadn't had time for her when she had asked for his help and he hadn't taken her concerns seriously when she said that she needed assistance with a problem with a fellow Ward.

It had been under someone else's umbrella. It hadn't been his problem. It hadn't been his concern.

This was his fault.

"Colin, sit down, I'll handle this," Miss Militia said. He hadn't even realized when she had stood. Blinking, he turned his head to stare at her. She guided him to the nearby seat, and he leaned forward, his helmet resting on the table. He didn't need to see the video again.

"This is Vista's bodycam footage. Aegis, we're nearly certain that she was unconscious for almost all of this, but, we need you to keep a watch on her anyway…just in case." Miss Militia paused long enough that he was sure she was making eye contact with everyone in the room. "None of this ever makes its way to the media. Ever."

\/\/~*.' '.*~\/\/

"Braid, answer your fucking comms or I swear to god I will fuck you up so bad -"

Tattletale covered my earpiece with her hand, muffling Shadow Stalker's continued stream of cursing. The blonde girl stared at the comms device with a sad, little scowl. For a moment I thought that she was considering if it was going to explode - a not unreasonable worry for tinkertech devices. But then why would she still be holding it?

"I'm not afraid of this blowing up, Braid," Tattletale said, sighing. "I'm worried that your teammate is this - let's say - acerbic towards you. Is she always like this?"

"I'm not supposed to talk to you."

"You're also not supposed to be out on your own."

"I-I wasn't. I just-I just needed to get away for a few minutes!"

"In full costume?"

"I didn't have my street clothes! Give me back my comms!" I wasn't even lying. Maybe omitting a few important details, but she was a Villain and I was a Ward. She didn't get important details. She especially didn't get the important details when Armsmaster didn't think they were important enough to bother disrupting his patrol over.

I wasn't even supposed to be out tonight. My patrol wasn't until Wednesday. I wasn't supposed to be out. I wasn't supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to be on patrol with Sophia.

I wasn't supposed to have to deal with her. It was in my contract!

I should have gone home after the tests were done. I never should have stayed at the base. They always gave me the extra patrols when people called out while I was on base. This was my own fault. If I had checked the schedules I would've seen Gallant on the lists. Gallant always missed his patrol when he and Glory Girl hooked up.

I hated him so much.

I hated Glory Girl too. I didn't even want to hate Glory Girl. I liked Vicky. Vicky was nice.

But if she would just…stop fucking around with Dean then I wouldn't keep getting forced to patrol with Sophia!

And now my eyes were wet behind my mask. Because of course they were. Because crying in front of a villain was the type of person I was. Just because Tattletale couldn't see my eyes didn't mean I didn't know what I had done.

Tattletale frowned. I could still hear Shadow Stalker's muffled yelling through her cupped hands. I pulled back from it even as she started to extend her arm towards me. She stopped moving as soon as I flinched - which just made me flinch even stronger. "Honestly, I don't think I should give this back."

"Because I'm a Ward and you're a Villain?" I hissed. I just needed to concentrate on being angry instead of upset. If I was angry I could think clearly and I wouldn't give anything away. I could try to ignore that it was getting harder to see through the haze of my vision. If I was angry then I wouldn't have to think about dealing with Shadow Stalker for another 43 minutes. Being upset was how I got into this problem in the first place.

I shouldn't have let Sophia rile me up enough to stalk away from her while she was fighting that last group. I shouldn't have caved to her taunts.

Now I was at least a block away from any help, and too tired to even try to run away, let alone fight. Not that it would have mattered much; Stalker would never have fought the Undersiders to protect me. She would have let Hellhound's dogs tear me to shred's while clapping, more likely.

Though, realistically, all Tattletale could do was talk. The PRT agreed on that. She was a Thinker, and she talked. She wasn't violent unless you were in her way, and neither were her team; they were smash-and-grab people. If it wasn't for Uber and Leet, they would probably be the resident Beloved Mascot Villians for the city. Hellhound was supposed to be a bit rough around the edges, but I'd take her over some of the people I knew any day. And her monster dogs were even rather adorable in an ugly-cute kind of way. Plus Regent was always amusing as hell with his irreverent attitude. Some of the audio clips of him were comedy gold.

And my attention was wandering. I was so tired. So, so tired. I should never have let Shadow Stalker bully me into buffing her for that fifth fight. She hadn't even needed it. Not against two idiot muggers. I needed to sit down. I needed to sit down and…

"No, because if I give this back to you right now then you're just going to get verbally abused by the resident bitch. Why did they send her after you? You're not supposed to be out here, I get that, but why her of all people?" I scowled, my eye twitching under the green and brown mask. "Oh, they didn't send her. She's who you were trying to get away from for a bit. Patrol gone bad? But that doesn't make sense because you shouldn't be on - Oh not just that, something deeper? Oh, wow, major trouble in paradise."

"Please give it back," I pleaded. "We both know I can't do anything to stop you on my own and your team is already leaving. Nobody would respond quickly enough to get in your way once I called it in. Please…just give it back."

Grue stepped out of the store to the side and jerked his head towards the panting monster dog sitting in the street a few feet away. "Tattletale, time to go."

"Yeah, come on Tats! We can tease the newbie later, when we don't have, like, all of the pretty, pretty Empire jewelry to go and drape over our non-existent beautiful boyfriends." In spite of myself I felt a corner of my mouth lift up for an instant at Regent's joke. If this shop really was an Empire front…then I didn't feel nearly as bad about not being able to get backup here - backup who could do something at least.

Tattletale kept staring at me, her frown never leaving her face even as Grue levered himself and his bag of ill-gotten gains onto the dog behind Hellhound. Hellhound herself just kept patting the slobbery dog's side. "Hey, look at me Braid, eyes down here." I snapped my gaze back to Tattletale and she started to extend her hand again. I winced as I lifted a shaky hand towards the comm device. She closed her fist again. "Why do you want this back so bad? It's an easy out for you right now. All you have to do is say that I broke it. It'll be the truth."

"I'll get in trouble for breaking it," I murmured. "I'll have to pay for it if Armsmaster doesn't have the time to fix it. I don't have the money for that. Director Piggot will say that I broke it on purpose - to avoid patrol with her. This is the third time…Please…give it back."

"Tattletale!"

"One second!" she called back, not lifting her eyes from me. "Why do they have you going out with her if it's that bad? I'm not a fan of the Heroes in general, but they're usually not showcasing stellar incompetence. They're overworked and outnumbered in this city, but they're not bad people."

"Gallant called out and I was in the building so I had to cover for him," I whispered.

Fucking Dean. I always got screwed when his dates ran long. It had happened before and it would happen again. He never checked the schedule when he called out.

God I was so tired. I scrubbed at my eyes under my mask with the back of my hand; my vision didn't clear. Trying not to sniffle, I swayed on my feet, the world shifting alarmingly around me.

"How much longer do you have in your patrol, Braid?"

"38 minutes." An eternity.

"Tattletale if you don't get on Judas right now, we are leaving you behind!"

"Braid," Tattletale said, her voice soft. Gentle. She was a Villain. A somewhat harmless villain in a team of people that were pretty neat and definitely the better ones in the city - against Nazis and kidnappers and drug peddlers that wasn't really too hard - but she was still a Villain. She wasn't supposed to be gentle. The street spun around her as I leaned against a light pole. I just needed to sit down. Just for a minute. "Braid, I'm going to break this. Then I'm going to tap you on the head. Not enough to do anything, but enough to register with your sensors that you were hit. You're already passing out, but you'll probably be conscious for another 5 to 10 minutes and you don't need the wannabe-murderer's vitriol in your ear the whole time."

"I just need t' ssit down," I said. Was I slurring my words? No. I was speaking perfectly fine. I was just tired.

"I'm going to activate your beacon too. Armsmaster is close. He should get here faster than Shadow Stalker. This area is safe enough; the Empire isn't going to respond and prove this shop is theirs, not until long after you've been picked up. And just in case, I'm going to stick around too; to make sure that Armsmaster is the first one to get to you. Okay?"

I blinked. She had said something, but it was hard to follow. I slid down to the sidewalk and took a few deep breaths as I tried to ignore the tightening in my chest. I was so tired.

Something crunched and I felt my eyes tearing up again as I saw my comms die under Tattletale's boot. Sophia's threats dissolved immediately, but…that was going to come out of my pay. I needed that money. I needed to pay for Dad's medicine. I needed to…

"Okay, don't tense up, remember, this is just enough for the sensors in your suit to register a hit."

I blinked. My head rocked back and Tattletale was above me again laying me back down against the ground as she reached behind my neck to flip my emergency beacon.

I couldn't stop the sniffles this time I looked up at her wide green eyes hanging over me. "Why?" I whispered.

She was silent as she looked back at me. Finally she shrugged. "I would've liked to have met you out of costume, Braid. I think we could've been friends. I think that would've been…good for you. When they debrief you, don't you dare gloss over how Shadow Stalker pushed you to exhaust yourself. Not all powers are limitless. Not all of us can keep going forever."

"TATTLETALE!"

"I'm coming!" She looked back at me one last time. "Check your mailbox in a few days. I don't think they're actually going to bill you, but check your mailbox just in case."

I could barely see her as she stood back up. Things were too blurry and there were dark spots in my vision now. A snuffling next to me was the only herald before a rough, wet tongue licked my face.

"Good doggy," I mumbled, barely above a whisper. I hadn't been eating enough, I hadn't been sleeping enough. Maybe that was why five in a row had taken so much out of me. I should have been recovered from the tests earlier. Capes were easier. I should've been able to handle Sophia's demands. I was…tired. Just a short nap wouldn't hurt. Just a short nap.

A whisper at the back of my skull told me that I didn't have to be tired. I didn't have to be helpless. I didn't have to be useless and pushed around. All I had to do was…reach out.

I shoved that voice aside.

There was a shrill whistle and the sidewalk shook under me as the slobber-monster jumped away towards his master.

Just a short nap.

It would be easier to breathe after I napped. It always was.

My eyes fluttered closed as a blonde girl, shoving her arm through a coat, skidded to a stop and knelt down next to me.