There will be moments when
You will bloom fully and then
Wilt, only to bloom again
-0-0-
I woke up to the sound of laughing.
With a start, I shot up from where I had been lying on hard metal, the familiar grated floor digging into my palms. Confused, I looked around to see that I had somehow gotten to the console room, confirming that last night hadn't been just a dream.
"Blimey," A woman's voice rang out, a figure moving out of the corner of my eye.
"You're telling me," Another voice, this time a man's, echoed. "Are you all right?"
I slowly got to my knees, peeking my head over the side of the console. From my position, I could just about make out a girl with blonde hair getting up from the ground, moving to look at something hidden from my view.
"Yeah, I think so. Nothin' broken. Did we make it? Where are we?" She asked.
"I did it. Give the man a medal!"
The girl moved her face towards me, and I pressed a hand against my mouth to keep from gasping out loud. Rose Tyler, smiling widely, met my eyes. Her smile slipped slowly, the amusement in her eyes turning into uncertainty and fear. From beside her, the man's voice continued as he hadn't yet noticed her surprise.
"Earth, Naples, December 24th, 1860. What do you think of that?"
Rose blinked. "Doctor, who is she?"
I jumped to my feet just as the Doctor leaned around the console, confusion clear on his face. It was a different face, but I knew he was the same man. But just because I knew who he was, didn't mean that he did, and I thought about what the future Doctor had told me.
If I moved around his time stream, there would be a time that he wouldn't know who he was. And if Rose Tyler didn't know me-
"You!"
Recognition crossed his face. Although I momentarily felt relieved that the Doctor seemed to know who I was, it didn't last long as I noticed that he didn't seem very happy to see me. Slowly, I walked around the console.
"Oh, have we met yet?" I asked wearily. Mirroring me, the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and waved it down my body.
He then checked the reading, nodding his head to himself. "Right, yes. Of course."
I crossed my arms, not feeling convinced. Looking up to meet my eyes, the Doctor squinted and looked at me closer, leaning in as I leaned back to compensate for the lack of space. His brows furrowed in worry.
"Have you been crying?"
"Doctor," Rose called out, moving closer. "Who is she? How did she get in here?"
I stepped forward before he could explain, holding out a hand. "Chloe Ackermann, pleasure to meet you Rose Tyler!" She didn't immediately reach out to shake my hand. Instead, she took a step back, giving me a suspicious look until I dropped my hand. "Or not."
"How do you know who I am?" She asked, crossing her arms. Her eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"
"I- Chloe. I just told you," I said, looking over to the Doctor. Rose did the same, giving him a pointed look.
He glanced between us, rolling his eyes. "Oh, of course. Rose Tyler, meet Chloe Ackermann, residential time traveler."
Both of us turned to each other with equally confused faces. Rose was the one that spoke up, dropping her crossed arms as she moved closer to the Doctor, reaching out to grab his arm. She spoke quietly, but I don't think she made any real efforts to keep me from hearing her.
"Aren't we time travelers too?" She pointed out.
He nodded. "Yeah, but she doesn't just travel through the universe willy-nilly like us." Both of us continued to stare at him weirdly. "She has set destinations," He continued, but was still met with blank stares. "My history. She travels through my life, we travel through the universe's life. That's the difference."
"What, really?" Rose turned to me in surprise. "So you just follow him around, or something?"
"Time travel. It's complicated," I explained. "We don't always meet in the right order though. I just came from his future. Showed up in the 1920's, and there were-"
"No!" The Doctor interrupted, raising a finger at me. "No talking about my future. It's the rules."
I scrunched up my nose. "What rules?"
"Your rules," He said, darkly.
"It wasn't like I was going to tell you anything important," I complained as he grabbed my hand, dragging me towards the hallway. "Besides, wouldn't it be better if I warned you about anything that's going to happen?"
"No," He said, letting me go and pushing me towards the hallway. "Now go and change."
"Doctor, I'm still confused," Rose mentioned, trailing behind us.
"You too," he said.
The Doctor grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her forward, pushing her right into my arms. His face was serious as he manhandled us, but the moment both of us turned to look at him in offense his entire face switched to a happy mask.
"There's a wardrobe through there. First left, second right, third on the left, go straight ahead, under the stairs, past the bins, fifth door on your left." He pointed out, shooing us with his hands. "Hurry up!"
"Wha- why do we have to change?" Rose asked as I began to walk in the direction he had said, grumbling under my breath.
"It's the 1800's!" I called out, and after a second her footsteps raced after me.
She was mostly silent the entire walk to the wardrobe, but she was practically vibrating with how hard she was trying not to ask any questions. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. As I fumbled with the skirt of the old fashioned dress the TARDIS had kindly put out, I glanced at the screen that separated us.
"You can ask me, you know."
"Ask you what?" She called out, her voice strained.
"I know you're curious about who I am," I reassured her, turning to the side to catch a better glimpse of the back in the mirror. "I won't be offended if you want to ask me something."
Rose was silent for a second, and then she peeked her head out from behind the screen. "The Doctor said you were from his future."
I nodded. "Kind of, yeah."
"How long have you known him?"
I paused, staring at my reflection. I knew that realistically she wanted to know how long I had been traveling through his future, or possibly even his past. I should have told her I only knew him for a few days.
But she asked me how long I've known him, and even if we'd never met, the Doctor had always been a part of my life. So I told her the truth.
"Ever since I was a little girl," I whispered.
I turned to the screen to see her reaction, but she was hidden by the screen again. She didn't say anything for a while, and I assumed that it was the end of the conversation, but then she walked out from where she had been hiding.
"What'dya think?"
I blinked at her beautiful dress, and then at the messy hair she had from putting it on. Nodding at her question, I motioned her towards what looked like a vanity in the corner, telling her to sit down. She did so only slightly confused.
"Got to look the part," I explained, pulling her hair up into a simple updo. She was silent as I worked, staring blankly at her reflection. When I was done, I patted her shoulders. "All done!"
"Thank you," Rose mumbled.
I frowned at her demeanor. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," She said quickly, getting up from her chair.
I followed her towards the door, but she lagged behind for a second. I paused, turning around. Rose was looking down at her hands, looking conflicted. I moved back in front of her, grabbing one of her hands.
"It's okay, you can tell me," I assured her.
"If you're from the Doctor's future, then you must be really important. You must know him a lot," She began, letting out a small sigh. "I barely know him. And when the two of you were talking back there, I felt like I was invisible … like I was just a second thought."
I frowned. "What?"
"The Doctor told me, when he first met me, that he was lonely. Needed someone to be there for him," She explained. "And then you show up, and he's obviously known you longer than me. Maybe he doesn't need me anymore."
"Rose," I whispered sadly, squeezing her hands. "You could not be farther from the truth. If anything, you've got it completely backwards!" She finally looked up. "The Doctor chose you to travel with him. With me, he doesn't really have a choice."
"Wha'dya mean?"
I began to pull her with me, back toward the console room. As we walked, I explained to her as much as I knew myself, in hopes of reassuring the girl that she wasn't going to be forgotten. "I can't control where I'm going, or when it happens. The only reason he knows me is because I'm stuck to him, to his timeline."
"But you," I continued, turning to walk backwards and pointing dramatically at her. "He chose you. He wanted you to come with him, to travel the universe together, and that was completely his decision. You're important, Rose Tyler! Don't you ever forget it."
I spun back around, intent on making a dramatic exit, but the shoes I was wearing didn't have as much traction as I had expected, making me slip along the floor. I barely managed to keep my face from smacking against the floor.
Rose giggled. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I grumbled. "Come on."
-0-0-
The three of us walked down the snowy street at a calm pace, nobody even giving us a second glance. After Rose had taken her first steps out into the past, she had turned around and offered me a hand to join her, laughing at the feeling of stepping out into a new world.
The Doctor seemed surprised at how quickly we had gotten close, eying us wearily as he stepped out behind us. When he held out a hand to Rose, the girl looked over at me for a second as if to ask for permission, and I gave her an encouraging nod.
Now as we walked together, I could only smile softly as they looked at each other grinning. It seemed as if Rose had taken my words to heart.
I took a moment to step away and process the environment. All these people walked around in the present, but for me and Rose, it was all in the past. It was hard to wrap my head around, but I didn't mind so much as I watched two kids chase each other down the street laughing. Some things never changed.
I could get used to this.
"I got the flight a bit wrong," The Doctor said, walking over with a newspaper as Rose followed, also looking around in wonder. She closed her eyes for a second.
"I don't care," she declared, because ultimately it was still a trip no matter where we landed. I smirked.
"It's not 1860, it's 1869," The Doctor pointed out as he started walking down the street. Rose shook her head.
"I don't care."
"And it's not Naples."
Rose paused, but still smiling she declared she still didn't care. Until the Doctor mentioned that it was Cardiff. That made her stop in her tracks. I rolled my eyes, grabbing her arm and leading her down the street behind the Doctor at a slow pace, who didn't seem to notice us lagging behind.
"You know," I told Rose, who was looking around with less wonder, "1869 in Cardiff is still magical if you think about it. Nobody else alive in our time will ever step foot in this town on this exact date. That makes you special."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "I hadn't thought about that. Christmas, 1869. Happens once, just once and it's gone, it's finished, it'll never happen again. Except for us."
"Except for us," I agreed, moving to grab her hand. "We can come and see it whenever we like. Who else can say that?"
The Doctor turned around at the end of the street when he realized that neither I nor Rose were still with him. When he saw us farther back, he rolled his eyes.
"Well hurry up, will you?"
"Don't rush me, spaceman!" I yelled at him, even as I smiled.
He huffed, leaning against the side of a building to wait. With every breath we exhaled, hot air steamed in front of us in puffs, the snow crunching beneath our feet as we walked. I silently wondered if it was too late to head back to the TARDIS and grab a coat.
A scream from a nearby building answered my question.
"That's more like it" The Doctor exclaimed, running into a nearby theater. He pushed past the people running away, quickly getting lost in the crowd.
Following a little more behind, Rose and I arrived just in time to see an old lady collapse in her seat, the Doctor already halfway up the stage. As he began to confront Charles Dickens himself, Rose spotted the old woman being dragged away.
"Oi! Leave her alone!" Rose hiked up her dress. "I'll get them, Doctor!"
"Be careful!" he shouted back.
I quickly ran after Rose, but still unused to my shoes, I slipped along the floor like a newborn gazelle. I made it out of the theater only to see Rose confronting a young woman, and an old man moving behind her with a shovel.
"Look out!" I shouted at her, but she didn't have time to react.
Rose fell to the ground as I ran across the street, the old man turning to me in surprise. In an act of instinct, I dropped to the ground next to the blonde to make sure she was okay. Gwyneth stammered out an apology, but as her eyes darted behind my shoulder I realized I shouldn't have turned my back to the old man.
He didn't knock me out, but my head smacking against the cold street floor was enough to leave me dazed. The carriage was gone by the time I finally managed to blink away the spots from my vision, thankfully without me in it. Perhaps the old man realized he didn't have time or room to keep knocking people out, but whatever it was it kept me from having to ride in the carriage with a dead woman, I was eternally grateful for it.
"Rose!" The Doctor shouted behind me. "Chloe!"
After a second, I felt arms pulling me up from where I hadn't moved from the ground. The Doctor continued to stare after the carriage, Dickens still talking to him, but glanced down briefly to check me over.
He brushed the snow off my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, grabbing his jacket as the sudden movement made my head feel light. The Doctor continued to ignore Dickens' attempts to get him to talk as he pulled us over to a nearby carriage, and my grip against the Doctor's jacket grew tighter.
"Oi, you! Follow that hearse!" He yelled, helping me up onto the seats and following suit. Dickens ran after us.
"I can't do that, sir," The driver stated.
The Doctor frowned at that. "Why not?"
"I'll tell you why not," Dickens yelled angrily, "I'll give you a very good reason why not. Because this is my coach!"
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Well, get in, then. Move!"
He then proceeded to pull Dickens in, the carriage taking off. I was squished up against the other side of the coach next to the Doctor as we made our way down the bumpy street. The Doctor turned to me and spoke softly.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
I nodded, rubbing my forehead softly. I was sure that soon I would get a headache, but I would be fine. The Doctor nodded, and turned back to the road. He seemed displeased by the speed, realizing that the hearse was getting farther ahead, and Rose along with it.
"Come on, you're losing them!"
The carriage driver didn't seem amused. "Everything in order, Mister Dickens?"
"No!" he called out loudly. "It is not!"
The Doctor looked over and only then seemed to really see the man sitting next to him. "What did he say?"
"Let me say this first, I'm not without a sense of humor-" Dickens started, ignoring the Doctor.
"Dickens?" The Doctor cut him off, and Dickens nodded. "Charles Dickens?"
"Yes."
"The Charles Dickens?"
The carriage driver turned to glance back at us. "Shall I remove the gentleman and lady, sir?"
"Charles Dickens? Oh, you're brilliant, you are!" The Doctor stated before Dickens could say anything. "Completely one hundred percent brilliant. I've read them all! Great Expectations, Oliver Twist and … what's the other one, the one with the ghost?"
"A Christmas Carol?"
"No, no, no. The one with the trains," he paused, then suddenly remembered. "The Signal Man, that's it! Terrifying. The best short story ever written. You're a genius."
The carriage driver asked again. "You want me to get rid of them, sir?"
"Er, no, I think he can stay," Dickens said, now less angry and more flattered.
The Doctor continued to compliment him, but I remained focused on making sure we didn't lose sight of the hearse. If anything happened to Rose, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. Especially not after having to reassure her that the Doctor wouldn't abandon her.
We had to save her.
When Dickens asked why we were chasing after a random hearse, The Doctor's face dropped. As if reading my thoughts, he finally seemed to sober up from his fanboy moment.
"My friend's in there. She's only nineteen. It's my fault. She's in my care, and now she's in danger."
Dickens' face blanched. "Well why are we wasting time talking about dry old books? This is much more important. Driver, be swift! The chase is on!"
And with that, we were off.
Transportation by carriage wasn't exactly bad, but it was unpleasant when you weren't used to the bumps and sharp turns you'd make with a horse at the wheel. As soon as the carriage stopped, the other two jumped out in a hurry. The snow was coming down faster than before, and I wiped my cold hands against my cheeks in hopes of warming them up as I trudged behind.
The door opened just as I caught up to the two men, and Gwyneth peeked out meekly. "I'm sorry, sir. We're closed."
"Nonsense," Dickens scoffed, "Since when did the undertaker keep office hours? The dead don't die on schedule. I demand to see your master."
"He's not in, sir," She said, moving to close the door.
Dickens pushed against it angrily, voice booming out. "Don't lie to me, child. Summon him at one."
"I'm awfully sorry, Mister Dickens," Gwyneth insisted, "but the master's indisposed."
From behind her, the gas lamp began to flicker. As if a chill had passed through me, I shivered violently at the sight, but nobody else seemed to notice. The Doctor's eyes remained on the lamp.
"Having trouble with your gas?" The Doctor pointed out.
Gwyneth's eyes widened, her head turning to look back instinctively. The Doctor took the opportunity to push past her, leaning his head against the wall under the gas lamp. With squinted eyes, he tilted his head as if he could hear something. Gwyneth stared in shock.
"You're not allowed inside, sir," She insisted. I put a hand on her shoulder to calm her.
"There's something inside the walls," The Doctor noted, "The gas pipes. Something's living inside the gas."
A scream echoed from inside the house, and I felt my heart jump up into my throat. Not waiting for the Doctor, I began to run down the halls and past the old man who had attacked us, ignoring his yelling in favor of getting to Rose.
"Please, let me out!" She yelled.
I paused at the door. "Don't worry Rose, we're here!"
"Open the door!" She yelled back, but I couldn't get the door to budge.
The Doctor nearly ran into me as he pushed me away from the door, kicking it in. He grabbed Rose's hand and immediately pulled her away from the walking corpse, straight into my arms. I only barely managed to catch her.
"I think this is our dance," he said nonchalantly, staring down the dead humans.
"It's a prank," Dickens muttered, taking in the sight. "It must be. We're under some mesmeric influence."
"No, we're not. The dead are walking," The Doctor corrected him. He turned to Rose with a smile. "Hi."
"Hi. Who's your friend?"
"Charles Dickens," He said with a grin. Rose nodded, still dazed. The Doctor turned back to the corpses. "My name's the Doctor. Who are you, then? What do you want?"
"Failing. Open the rift. We're dying. Trapped in this form. Cannot sustain. Help us."
I winced at the high pitch scream the corpses let out as the gas left them, their empty bodies dropping to the ground lifelessly. I looked away with a grimace. There was a moment of silence, everyone processing what had just happened, before I spoke.
"Well that was pleasant."
-0-0-
After making sure that Rose was okay, the Doctor and I were left to follow her as she stomped down the hallway, berating the dirty old man who had kidnapped her. The man, Mr. Sneed, tried to walk away from her.
Rose wasn't having it.
"Come back here! I'm not finished with you!"
Sneed collapsed into a chair with a groan, placing his face into his hand. Rose began to pace as she continued her scolding.
"First you attack me and my friend. Then you kidnap me, and don't think I didn't feel your hands having a quick wander, you dirty old man-"
"I did no such thing!"
"-Then you stuck me in a room, full of zombies! And if that ain't enough, you just swan off and leave me to die!"
"It's not my fault!" Sneed insisted, "It's this house. It's always had a reputation. Haunted. I never had much bother until a few months back, when the stiffs- er, the dear departed- started getting restless."
Dickens scoffed. "Tommyrot."
"But you witnessed it. The dead, they walk among us as if they were still living. And it's the queerest thing, but they hang on to scraps," Sneed began to explain.
I shook my head as Dickens refused to listen to any explanation, arguing with both Sneed and the Doctor on what he had clearly seen. I couldn't blame him for his insistence. Sometimes it was hard to accept the truth, and not everyone could accept the concept of zombies.
Of course, they weren't actual zombies. I scowled at the thought of the gelth, and what they would do. From behind, someone placed a hand on my arm. I jumped in surprise, but it was just Gwyneth standing behind me, her face slightly confused. My chest tightened at the sight of her young and innocent face.
"Are you all right, miss?" She asked, oblivious to my thoughts. To how willing I was to let her die.
I nodded dumbly. "Yeah, of course."
With a smile, she handed me a cup of tea that I didn't remember asking her for. I thanked her, watching as she walked away before paying attention to the others in the room. The Doctor was explaining the right to Rose and the others.
"A weak point in time and space. A connection between this place and another. That's the cause of ghost stories, most of the time," The Doctor explained. Sneed looked up with a weary face.
"That's how I got the house so cheap. Stories going back generations." He paused to look at the door as Dickens left. "Echoes in the dark, queer songs in the air, and this feeling like a shadow passing over your soul. Mind you, truth be told, it's been good for business. Just what people expect from a gloomy old trade like mine."
He trailed off, and the Doctor moved to follow Dickens out of the room. After a pause, Gwyneth grabbed the empty cups of tea and took them to the kitchen with Rose following a little second later. I didn't want to be in the room alone with dirty old Sneed, so I left the room as well.
I slumped against the wall outside, sliding down as much as I could with a dress. In less than a few hours, people would die. I wanted to save them. Could I save them? The Doctor had mentioned rules, I wondered if there were any rules against this.
Would he even believe me, if I warned him?
Footsteps echoed from around the corner, and I watched as the very man I had been thinking about stopped in front of me, looking down at me with raised eyebrows.
"Something on your mind?" He asked.
I pursed my lips. "Nothing I can tell you about, I'm guessing. Future stuff, and all that."
"Ah," He nodded in understanding, holding out a hand for me to grab. "Best not to mention it, then. Keep it to yourself."
The Doctor walked away then, and I stared at his back for a solid second before I followed. Making our way over to the kitchens in what I assumed was in search of Rose, we caught the tail end of Gwyneth's visions.
"You're from London. I've seen London in drawings, but never like that. All those people rushing about … half naked, for shame. And the noise, and the metal boxes racing past, and the birds in the sky … no, they're metal as well. Metal birds with people in them. People are flying. And you, you've flown so far. Further than anyone. The things you've seen. The darkness, the big bad wolf."
Gwyneth suddenly seemed to snap out of whatever trance she had been in. She shook her head. "I'm sorry miss. I'm so sorry."
"It's all right," Rose assured her.
"I can't help it," Gwyneth insisted, "Ever since I was a little girl, my mum said I had the sight. She told me to hide it."
"But it's getting stronger, more powerful, is that right?" The Doctor asked, making both girls jump at his sudden appearance.
Gwyneth nodded. "All the time, sir. Every night, voices in my head."
"You grew up on top of the rift," The Doctor explained. "You're part of it. You're the key."
"I've tried to make sense of it, sir. Consulted with spiritualists, table rappers, all sorts."
The Doctor grinned. "Well, that should help. You can show us what to do."
The two girls looked at him in confusion. "What to do where, sir?" Gwyneth asked. He looked at me when he answered.
"We're going to have a séance."
-0-0-
After everything was set up, I took my seat between Dickens and Gwyneth, mostly because I refused to sit next to Sneed and Rose had already taken the seat next to the Doctor.
Gwyneth sat down last, looking nervous. "This is how Madam Mortlock summons those from the Land of Mists, down in big town. Come, we must all join hands."
Dickens stood up, shaking his head. "I can't take part in this."
"Humbug. Come on, open mind," The Doctor reminded him.
"This is precisely the sort of cheap mummery I strive to unmask," Dickens shot back. "Séances? Nothing more than luminous tambourines and a squeeze box concealed between the knees. This girl knows nothing."
"Come on now," The Doctor chastised him, "Don't antagonize her. I love a happy medium."
Rose let out a small laugh. "I can't believe you just said that."
The Doctor smiled at her before turning back to Dickens, giving him a serious look. "Come on, we might need you."
Dickens hesitated, obviously uncomfortable with the entire idea. Feeling uncomfortable with it myself, I reached out to grab his hand lightly, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He glared at me for a short second, but finally sighed and sat back down.
"Good man. Now, Gwyneth, reach out," The Doctor urged.
She nodded, looking up at the ceiling as she concentrated on the gas beings. "Speak to us. Are you there? Spirits, come. Speak to us that we may relieve your burden."
"Can you hear that?" Rose whispered to Dickens. He shook his head.
"Nothing can happen. This is sheer folly."
"Look at her!"
Gwyneth's head suddenly snapped forward, and she began to rock back and forth. "I can see them. I feel them," she exclaimed, and everyone watched in wonder as a blue glow of gas began to appear above the table.
I was tempted to run away again.
"What's it saying?" Rose hissed.
"They can't get through the rift," The Doctor realized," Gwyneth, it's not controlling you, you're controlling it. Now, look deep. Allow them through."
Eyes still wide she grimaced. "I can't."
"Yes, you can. Just believe it. I have faith in you, Gwyneth. Make the link."
With her eyes closed, she inhaled deeply. And suddenly her eyes snapped back open, and a chill ran through the room. A blue mist emerged behind her in the shape of humanoid figures. Everyone looked on in awe, but I could only think about what those creatures were capable of, and grimaced at the thought.
"Pity us," The figures hissed, Gwyneth speaking with them. "Pity the Gelth. There is so little time. Help us."
"What do you want us to do?" The Doctor asked. Gwyneth tightened her grip on my hand, and I felt the chill begin to seep into my skin.
"The rift. Take the girl to the rift. Make the bridge," they replied.
"What for?"
"We are so few, the last of our kind. We face extinction."
The Doctor tensed, his face falling as he sympathized with them. Sympathized with a race of murderers and liars, evil creatures that did nothing more than deceive. My hands now feeling like ice, I tried to let go of Gwyneth's hand. She only tightened her grip.
"Why, what happened?" He asked urgently.
"Once we had a physical form like you, but then the war came," They explained.
Dickens looked around in confusion. "War? What war?"
My body felt hot in comparison to my arm, a sense of dread and desperation beginning to wash over me. My head swam, the room spinning.
"The Time War." Rose glanced over to the Doctor. "The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged, invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies were washed away, and we were trapped in this gaseous state," They wailed.
"So that's why you need the corpses," the Doctor realized, suddenly understanding more about the Gelth. I tried to pull my hand away again, but Gwyneth's nails bit into my skin and the Gelth reached out again.
"We want to stand tall, to feel the sunlight, to live again," They pleaded. "We need a physical form, and your dead are abandoned. They're going to waste, give them to us!"
Rose wrinkled her nose. "But we can't."
"Why not?" The Doctor asked, piercing her with a sharp gaze. My lungs burned and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"It's not … I mean, its not-"
"Not decent? Not polite?" The Doctor snapped. "It could save their lives."
"Open the rift. Let the Gelth through. We're dying. Help us. Pity the Gelth!" With one last cry, the figures disappeared and Gwyneth collapsed onto the table.
The moment she let go, I felt as if a truck slammed into my chest and I gasped for air, my arms beginning to shake. The others could only stare in shock, nobody moving.
Rose was the first to react, running over to hold Gwyneth and make sure she was okay. I pushed away violently from the table and moved to the farthest corner, needing to be by myself. Gwyneth was taken over to rest on a chair with Rose looking after her.
It was only a minute later when the young girl began to stir.
"It's all right," Rose urged her as she tried to sit up. "You just sleep."
"But my angels, miss," she insisted, "They came, didn't they? They need me?"
The Doctor spoke up from where he was leaning against the doorway. "They do need you, Gwyneth. You're they're only chance of survival."
"Leave her alone," Rose insisted, her temper flaring up, "She's exhausted and she's not fighting your battles."
Rose ignored him in favor of doting on Gwyneth, offering the young girl a drink. Meanwhile, Sneed began to try and understand what was going on, and the Doctor tried to explain.
"They've been trying to get through from Brecon to Cardiff but the road's blocked. Only a few can get through and even then they're weak. They can only test drive the bodies for so long, then they have to revert to gas and hide in the pipes."
"Which is why they need the girl," Dickens assumed. The Doctor nodded.
"They're not having her," Rose insisted.
The Doctor turned back to her with a stone cold face. "She can help. Living on the rift, she's become part of it. She can open it up, make a bridge and let them through."
"Incredible," Dickens breathed as he began to realize the situation. "Ghosts that are not ghosts but beings from another world, who can only exist in our world by inhabiting cadavers."
"Good system. It might work," The Doctor said.
Rose shook her head. "But can't just let them run around inside of dead people."
"Why not? It's like recycling."
The two moved closer together, their voices getting louder and making my head start to throb. With a groan, I closed my eyes against their argument.
"Seriously though, you can't!"
"Seriously though, I can."
I groaned loudly, pushing my way between the two of them. They both looked away from each other and at me in confusion.
"Oh my god, will both of you just stop!?" I hissed at them. "It doesn't matter whether this is right or wrong. We're not letting them through."
"And that's for you to decide, is it?" The Doctor insisted. "Why shouldn't we help them?"
I bit my tongue to keep from blurting out all the real reasons the Gelth couldn't be trusted, knowing I couldn't say anything. It was his future, and he was very clear I couldn't tell him about it. So I crossed my arms and raised my chin.
"You're just going to have to trust me."
The Doctor stepped forward at that, staring down at me with cold untrusting eyes. "Give me one good reason why I should." I faltered, holding my breath. "Because just because you're from my future doesn't mean I trust you. Not when you're willing to risk the lives of an entire race."
I took a shaky step back at the venom in his voice. The man in front of me was no longer the Doctor I knew and loved. Instead, there stood a man who was angry, capable of bringing down monsters and gods alike when they got in his way. A man entire plants ran away from at just the sound of his name.
Never did I think I would have to face it in person.
"You don't believe me?" I asked, although I already knew the answer. "You're more willing to trust a bunch of aliens you've never met before?"
The Doctor scoffed. "When you want me to abandon them, innocent beings who need help? Yeah, I might."
"They're not innocent!" I insisted.
"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" He shot back.
The pounding in my head flared up again, and I clenched my eyes shut. I willed my body to relax, to let the tension drain away, and as the anger faded the sadness began to creep in. The Doctor was a stubborn man, and I had no way of proving the Gelth were evil because they hadn't done anything yet. I knew it wouldn't be enough for him.
I took another step back. "You know what, do what you want, Doctor. It's what you've always done anyways, isn't it?"
Not wanting him to see me crying, I moved to leave the room, but he reached out to grab my arm and stopped me from walking away. From where I stood, I could see that Rose looked worried, and the other men in the room looked plain uncomfortable. Gwyneth stared at me sadly.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from here," I hissed, refusing to look at him. "I'm done trying to argue through that thick, thick skull of yours."
I tugged on his grip, but The Doctor didn't let me go. "I'm not done talking to you!"
I jerked my hand away from his, spinning around.
"Well I'm done talking to you! What do you want from me, Doctor, because I honestly don't know! You think I want to be here with you? You think I had a choice in any of this?" I pointed my finger at him and hit his chest to empathize with my point. "When all this goes to shit, I want you to remember that it was you who decided not to listen to me! You're mistake for not trusting me! And when people die because of your mistake, don't come crying to me about it, because I am done. I'm not sticking around to see this crash and burn!"
Shocked from my burst of anger, nobody stopped me from leaving. I was able to run out onto the streets and back down the road in the general direction of the TARDIS, although I wasn't exactly sure where I was going. I just needed to get away from that house.
I didn't want to have any of their deaths on my head. I didn't want the guilt.
My chest burned as I ran, the cobblestone uneven under my feet. I was forced to stare at the ground or risk tripping, and when the ground got too blurry for me to see I finally began to slow.
I found myself standing in the middle of the street, wiping tears and snot off my face, the cold air helping to ease my headache and leaving me tired. Any anger I had was long gone.
I glanced up at the sound of laughter, where an older couple stood next to a carriage, the older man helping out the woman with a smile. Further down the street, a group of children tossed something in between themselves.
None of them knew what was about to happen. They didn't know just how close they would be to the end of the world, if it wasn't for the explosion that would save all of their lives. I thought about Dickens, who despite being terrified, still came back. He came back to save them.
How selfish was I, deciding that their deaths were easier for my conscience? Because even if I couldn't make them understand, I could still do something.
I tipped my head back and let out a groan, knowing what I had to do.
And so I began to run back in the direction of the house praying that I'd make it in time. As I arrived, the front door was still open, and I realized that nobody had even thought about coming after me. I paused, feeling a little hurt, but pushed myself forward. There wasn't any time to waste.
The rooms were all empty as I ran past them, making my way down to the basement just as blue wisps of gas raced past my head, and I heard a demonic voice echo around me. I stumbled down the last step, nearly face planting against Charles Dickens back in my haste.
"You said that you were few in number!" The Doctor cried out angrily.
The Gelth hissed. "A few billion. And all of us In need of corpses!"
Corpses around the room shot up as the Gelth invaded their bodies, but I paid them no mind as I rushed past a shocked Doctor and Rose. Sneed shook his head at the sight, beginning to back away in fear and in the direction of a pair of corpses he hadn't yet noticed.
"Stop this! Gwyneth, this has gone far enough. Stop dabbling-"
I grabbed his arm, pulling him away from his death sentence. "Shut up and run!"
Pushing the old man away from me and towards the stairs, I paused to see the group all staring at me in mixed variations of relief and surprise, but I knew that we couldn't stay here long. Gwyneth would already be dead by now, but I could at least save one person's life.
One life was better than none.
"Chloe!" Rose yelled out, reaching for my hand. "You came back."
"Yes, now get out," I said, as Sneed and Dickens backed up towards the stairs. "We need to leave before they kill us."
"We need bodies," one of the corpses cried behind me, proving my point. "All of you. Dead. The human race. Dead!"
The Doctor shook his head, pushing past me and Rose. "Gwyneth, stop them! Send them back now!"
"Convert them all. Make them vessels for the Gelth."
I tried to push Rose towards the exit, but another pair of corpses had cut off her escape, pushing us back towards the Doctor. Realizing that the corpses on his side were also closing in, we were herded towards the back wall.
Dickens and Sneed just stood there, so I waved at them. "You two, get out of here while you still can!"
They didn't need any more urging. Both of them ran out, leaving the three of us trapped by a horde of zombies. Seeing a metal gate behind us, the Doctor urged both Rose and I in before closing the door behind himself. While it was cramped, we all still pushed ourselves as far away from the gate as we could.
"Give yourself to glory. Sacrifice your lives for the Gelth," The demonic voice gurgled, the red flames around Gwyneth flickering with every word.
Besides me, Rose began to shake in fear. From her other side, the Doctor reached out to grab her hand. "I trusted you," He said, face distraught. "I pitied you!"
"We don't want your pity," the Gelth mocked. "We want this world and all its flesh."
"Not while I'm alive," The Doctor threatened.
"Then live no more."
The blue wisps of gas were still flying around us, even inside the gate, and I felt their cold souls as they brushed up against me. I feared that they would begin to fly out into the streets, hurting even more people outside.
Rose shook her head in disbelief. "I can't die, not here. Tell me I can't. I haven't even been born yet. It's impossible for me to die, isn't it?"
The Doctor turned to the both of us, looking at her with sad eyes, and then at me. He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."
"We'll be okay," I told them, squeezing Rose's hand to reassure her. I leveled the Doctor with a hard look. "Trust me."
He could only stare, his eyes heavy with emotion, until Dickens ran back into the room. He held a handkerchief to his mouth to stop himself from choking on the gas that began to fill the air.
"Doctor! The gas! Turn off the flame, turn up the gas!" He yelled as he did just that, first with the gas lamp near the stairs, and then another on the other side of the room.
"What are you doing?" The Doctor asked, looking confused.
At the sudden noise, a few of the corpses began to turn around. Dickens paid them no mind, continuing his job eagerly. "Turn it all on. Flood the place!"
The Doctor smiled as realization hit him. "Oh, brilliant! Gas!"
Rose wrinkled her nose as the smell of gas began to get stronger, raising an arm to her face. "What, so we choke to death instead?"
"Am I correct, Doctor? These creatures are gaseous," Dickens said.
"Fill the room with gas, it'll draw them out of the host," The Doctor explained, letting go of Rose's hand. "Suck them into the air like poison from a wound!"
The corpses that had noticed Dickens were now getting closer, and as the author realized he was trapped, he too began to get backed into another corner. His face dropped at the realization.
"I hope, oh Lord, that this theory will be validated soon," He prayed, stumbling against a table. "If not immediately."
The Doctor grabbed a pipe next to his head, face determined. "Plenty more!" He yelled, ripping it out of the wall.
Within seconds, the bodies in front of the cage began to drop to the ground, giving us a chance to leave the metal cage we had hidden behind. Rose and the Doctor both ran towards Gwyneth.
"Gwyneth, you have to send them back. They lied," The Doctor explained to her. "They're not angels."
I grabbed Rose, trying to drag her towards the stairs, but she fought against me. As The Doctor explained the situation to Gwyneth, Dickens met us at the exit and began to run back up. I urged Rose harder.
"I'm not leaving her," She cried, even as she began to wobble on her feet.
"Get her out of here!" The Doctor told us, and I shot him a look.
"I'm trying!"
Gwyneth cried out. "They're too strong."
"Remember that world you saw? Rose's world? All those people. None of it will exist unless you send them back through the rift," The Doctor encouraged.
"I can't send them back," She insisted. The young girl paused, hands reaching into her apron pocket. "But I can hold them. Hold them in this place, hold them here. Get out."
Rose spotted the matches she had pulled out of her pockets, and she pulled so hard against me that I lost my grip, my vision swimming. The Doctor grabbed her before she could reach Gwyneth, holding her back.
"You can't!" Rose cried, reaching for the maid. Tears began to fall from Gwyneth's face.
"Leave this place!" She cried.
"Rose, get out," The Doctor agreed, "Now! I won't leave her while she's still in danger."
Practically throwing the blonde in my direction, I helped Rose up the stairs as quickly as I could. By this point, the gas had begun to affect me too, and it was almost a relief for both of us to stumble out into the cold night air. Gasping for breath, Rose paused at the entrance, but I urged her forward.
"Come on," I told her. "A little farther."
We made it across the street, where Dickens was already waiting for us anxiously. Sneed was nowhere to be seen. The author reached out a hand to steady the two of us, looking back at the door in worry when he saw neither the Doctor nor Gwyneth had followed.
"Where are the other's, child? What happened?"
Before I could answer, the building behind us exploded. I turned around too quickly, my legs giving out from under me, but even from the ground I could see the body on the ground in front of the burning building. The Doctor had made it out alive.
Rose kneeled beside me, hand fisted tightly against her chest. I watched from the corner of my eye as Sneed appeared with police at his sides, stopping at the sight of the burning building. He shook his head, turning to look at us, and then running over as quickly as he could.
"What happened? Where's Gwyneth?"
"I'm sorry," The Doctor explained sadly. "She closed the rift, but didn't make it."
Sneed, for as shady of a man he might have been, must have really cared for Gwyneth. She had grown up under his watch. Raising a hand to his mouth in disbelief, he silently mourned the lost child with the rest of us.
We stayed long enough for the burning fires to fade into embers. The explosion was blamed on a gas leak, and Sneed knew he couldn't mention the truth to anyone for fear of being labeled insane.
Dickens offered the three of us a ride back to the theater we had taken off from, and even though the Doctor assured him we would be fine, he still followed us as we walked the short distance to the alleyway the TARDIS had landed in.
"Right then, Charlie boy. I've just got to go into my, er-" He settled a hand against the TARDIS as he realized what it must look like. "-shed, I suppose. Won't be long."
I didn't stick around for the goodbye's, pushing past the Doctor into the TARDIS. I didn't want to spend a single second longer in the cold, rushing towards the direction of what I hoped was my bedroom, urging the TARDIS to show me the way. The ship hummed, showing me the door on just the second hallway I turned to.
In my frustration, I ended up ripping the seams of the beautiful dress I wore, desperate to get the garment off but not having the patience to do it properly. The smell of smoke clung to my body even as I scrubbed at my skin in the shower, and not even an hour under the hot water could ease the shivers that moved through my body.
When I finally exited the bathroom, hair damp and wearing a soft pair of pajamas the TARDIS had left out for me, I could only stare at the bed blankly. My eyes burned, my head throbbing from everything I had been through. Even though I was exhausted, I knew I probably wasn't going to get much sleep that night.
I didn't want to go back out to the console room, however, and have to deal with the Doctor. Apologies or anger, neither sounded like something I could handle at the moment.
As much as he was at fault, I still felt guilty for walking away. I should have done more. I should have fought harder. But instead I gave up because I was hurt and upset, and someone died because of that decision.
The rest of the night, I stared up at the ceiling in thought, running through a bunch of scenarios in my head of everything I could have done, and how it might have benefited us all in the end. I would think of what if's until my brain couldn't take any more and I'd eventually fall into a restless sleep, haunted by the selflessness of a gifted maid.
-O-O-
If we can learn anything from
Flowers it is that resilience is born
Even when we feel like we are
Dying
- Rebirth by Alex Elle