Ki Cutters: 38
The Perfect
Akane watched Ranma as he began to devise an intricate, impenetrable defensive kata for her. His brows furrowed; his muscles flowed like water under his skin. She thought of the individual that was the focus of their concern. Picking up her pen, she began to make an entry in her diary.
…I love them.
Ranma is so perfect in his strength and skill, so gentle in his heart, and I never saw it till I almost lost him. Now, I have no more doubts… except what the future may bring to tear us apart. Are we truly meant to be together? I know he loves me. He knows I love him. But is that enough?
Shampoo… the Bimbo, the Slut… how many horrid names did I have for her born of my fear of losing him? I know now, her strength of purpose, her heart, her generosity and her hidden brilliance. She is such a special person. I'm glad that Ranma is mostly over his fear of cats. It would have always preyed on my heart to win his love when she, except for her curse, seemed so much more what he would want.
But though Shampoo never had his heart (except by magic), we must still compete for his body, for I am, by her laws, an obstacle to her airen. She admits that her pursuit is due only to honor, but that honor requires her to kill me if she can. I know, even though she can't admit it, she hopes, in one of the coming battles, I will kill her…
Akane swallowed hard at that thought. Shampoo, her rival for Ranma had inexplicably become as dear to her as her sisters. She wiped a bit of moisture from her eyes.
How can I kill someone I've come to love?
She is my sister in every way except blood. When we fight now, it is perfect… a ballet of raging storm and crashing waves, of fire and steel and stone… of darkness and light. This could never have been without Ranma's training me or his three-month absence or the alliance of Amazon and Japanese to bring him back to me… to us.
Poor Mousse. I can feel his pain. He struggles with himself in the shadows. He knows I refuse to kill her. He knows she must try to kill me or lose all honor with her people, not only for her, but also for her entire family. If I make a mistake — if I slip, if I am less than perfect — I will die and Ranma… I think Mousse feels that after that, his chance with Shampoo would be almost nonexistent. If I make a mistake — if I slip, if I am less than perfect — my fist or my foot will end the life of my 'heart-sister', Shampoo's term for what we are.
Ranma will be mine, but…
I must be perfect. I have told Ranma again and again that he must not harm Shampoo for what she attempts to do for her honor's sake. I suspect that as a result, he will do something else — something I can't let him do but cannot prevent, unless I live. Somehow I must balance between delight and death and preserve them both. She's hinted that there is a solution, but her laws will not permit her to tell me what. She acts confident that somehow, I will know what to do when the time comes. Know what? Honestly!
Akane frowned. That was puzzling, but the laws governing the Amazons, descendants of a peculiar people who had once lived along the shores of the Black Sea, were a composite of tradition and experiment. Normally, any woman warrior, or a woman who sought protection from male oppression was eligible for asylum. But the kiss of marriage had made that impossible unless…
Akane scratched her head. She had the feeling if they could just figure out what was going on, they could resolve this without further fighting between Shampoo and herself. Meanwhile, she and Shampoo teased one another, tormented Ranma and occasionally squabbled. It was like revisiting childhood. After her mother's death, interactions between Akane and her sisters had been almost stereotypical. Kasumi had been the caring mother, Nabiki had been the financial mother and Akane had been relegated to being their 'child' as well as heir to the school. She had never realized how unnatural it had been.
It's funny how we act. Shampoo glomped Ranma to tease me for old times sake. I threatened them with my mallet and we were all off and running. I'm sure everyone at school thinks I'm still my horrible, old self and that poor Ranma's a pervert. At her grill, Ukyo looked sad as we charged past. I snagged her arm as I went by and dragged her into it.
She was furious at first. It cost her some lunchtime business, but in the end, I think she enjoyed it. We all love Ranma in our own ways, even if he is a jerk sometimes. Ukyo said yes to Ranma's proposal for the Saotomes to adopt her as his sister. I never believed her story that she felt she'd be a burden now that Natsume and Kurumi are acknowledged as his half-sisters. But, she's training hard, in armed and unarmed combat. I think she means to challenge Shampoo if she kills me in one of our contests and try to keep Ranma alive. She doesn't hate Shampoo, but knows Ranma needs some reason for living. The trouble is, she's obviously fallen hard for Ryoga and Ryoga has fallen for her. Now this is interfering. In some ways, they've had as much trouble as Ranma and I ever did.
Shampoo and Mousse got into it the other day and she beat him, though narrowly. He's gotten much better. Mousse has been forbidden by Cologne to train with Saotomes or Tendos. She ignores the fact that he now trains with Ryoga. He probably doesn't improve as fast as the rest of us, because Ryoga's training at the moment is so spotty. Between running from the ninja, trying to have a relationship with Ukyo and having some jackass named Kago Fukuzatsu of the school of martial arts portraiture, pursuing his girl-side, Ryoga's had a full schedule.
So, I must be perfect. Somehow I will discover what I must do to save us all. Ranma shouldn't have to bear this burden alone. I asked him how he has done it in the past, hoping there is some special way of thinking that makes him so good at winning against all odds. He told me that I must understand that the only thing that matters is LIFE. So long as I have life, I can win. When I asked him what he meant by 'Ranma Saotome don't lose', he smiled and replied, 'I'm still here, ain't I?' Baka!
He's right, though. We are all still here because we refuse to accept defeat. I will find the solution to our dilemma. I will live and grow old with Ranma and lie in his arms and have his children. I will live to see Shampoo's children and Ukyo's children beside them, strong in their friendships as well as in their Art. To do this I will find the Perfect Solution to end this pain.
"Akane!" Kasumi's voice sang out to the dojo where Akane and Ranma were. "Shampoo wants to know if she can come over to study the math assignment with you?" Kasumi's voice remained unconcerned as she added. "After you're finished, she'll try to kill you again. I've invited her to stay for dinner. Is that all right?"
"Thank you, oneechan," Akane called back. "That's great!"
"She said she's bringing her broadsword this time," Kasumi added.
"Okay!"
Ranma leaned against the wall of the dojo with a pensive look on his face. "I hate this," he grumbled.
"Yes, dear, I know," she answered quietly.
"We need to train more," he said, suddenly hugging her. "You're more advanced at this point, but with her projective ki opened up, she's catching up fast."
"Do you think she can be better than me?" Akane asked, watching him carefully.
Ranma started to answer her, a smirk on his face, then frowned. "Maybe. But that's not the point. The better ya both are, the closer ya both come to bein' equal. The evener the match, the more likely someone 's gonna get hurt bad." He looked at her painfully. "I hate this…"
"You just hate not being the center of attention," she replied, hitting him in the arm. "When it's you, you don't care."
"When it's me, at least I'm in control," he retorted.
"And I'm not?" Akane growled, suddenly glowing.
"Th-that's not what I meant," he said sweating and backing away.
"I know," she stood on tiptoe and kissed him. "I was just teasing."
"And I thought I had it bad when I was chased by four girls," he muttered. "When is this gonna end?" he asked rhetorically.
"When it's the perfect moment," Akane said seriously.
"The perfect…?" He struggled and failed to understand.
"You'll know when it happens." She smiled and set for a kata. "Train me, love. Make me good enough to win one more time." He nodded and took up the opposing stance. Swiftly, they flowed into the training.
It was… perfect.
oOo
Hiroshi and Daisuke walked along together in the spring air. Winter had passed, and with it more of the madness that made up life in Nerima. Both were more muscular than they were at the start of the school year. Hiroshi was going to join Furinkan's cross-country team with some expectation of actually winning in track. Daisuke was trying out for javelin and had talked Shampoo into giving him some training, the Amazon being very familiar with this midrange weapon. Both had asked Ranma to teach them martial arts, and to their joy had been accepted as students of the newly re-activated Tendo Dojo. With Ranma's defeat of Happosai, he had gained Grand-mastery of Mutsabetsu Kakuto Ryu. They took some pride in the fact that, out of all the students accepted by the dojo, they were among a handful of true newcomers to the Art.
Though green and full of themselves, they were under no illusions that this inclusion made them martial artists. Watching Akane throw Ranma effortlessly through walls and Ranma's casual recoveries constantly reminded them of their present inadequacies. Discovering Ranma and Akane standing in a quietly intense, mutual rapport reminded them of inadequacies in other more personal matters.
"Martial artists," commented Hiroshi. "You know, Dai, Ranma and Akane seem to fight most of the time, then go home and fight some more. I wonder if that's normal? For martial artists I mean," he added hastily. "Anyone can see how hot they are for each other. I wonder what it would be like if they were really mad at one another?"
"Probably something like Ryoga's Shishi Houkudan at the park near the university when he found out about Akari," Daisuke said sagely. "I hear they're making an ornamental pond out of it."
"Funny her picking Konatsu like that, even using Ryoga's getting lost to visit him," Hiroshi commented.
"Him?" Daisuke looked puzzled. Hiroshi punched him in the shoulder. "Ow! Wadja do that for?"
"Idiot! Konatsu's a cross-dresser, or at least he was." Dai looked appalled. Hiroshi snickered, thinking about how often his friend had dragged him over to Ucchan's. Hiro had been watching Ukyo. Dai must have been watching… "Bwah, ha, ha, ha!" Konatsu had fooled a lot of people, looking like a demure slender girl.
Daisuke's face went through several color changes before he started punching his friend in the arm. "It's not that funny, Hiro," Daisuke grumbled, but Hiro was laughing hard enough he dropped the letter he had been carrying. Dai quickly trapped it with his foot to keep it from blowing away. "What's this?"
"Entry form," Hiroshi said, still snickering. "Thanks, man." He took back the envelope. "My friend, life is like Mutsabetsu Kakuto, the Art that is many arts. Martial arts may strengthen the body and beautiful women may sooth the eye; but, in the long run, to enjoy the first two, one must be flush with yen. This, my friend, may be the Ultimate Technique."
"Ah?" Daisuke looked at the plain envelope. "How?"
"It's an entry form for the All-Japan Home Videography Contest."
"What?" Daisuke looked at his friend as if he had gone crazy. "You're on that kick again? I'm not dumb enough to try another 'Vixen of Furinkan'!" He closed his eyes and shuddered in memory of what the ninja had put them through, then thought back further to the Ranma-iichuan incident. "I may not have burned my magazines and tapes, but I'm a lot more circumspect even looking at them."
"No, no!" Hiroshi shook his head. "We're not doin' a skin flick. A commercial."
"What fun is a commercial?" asked Daisuke, disappointed. "I always flip past 'em when I can. Who needs 'em?"
"Do you remember that commercial for those cool shoes?" demanded Hiroshi.
"Well, yeah!" Daisuke unthinkingly rattled off the music and the patter for the shoe commercial.
"What about the soft drink?" Hiroshi prompted, pointing to a sign. Daisuke dropped into acting out that 30-second sound bite. "And you still think commercials aren't worth while?" asked Hiroshi triumphantly.
"That's right. Nobody listens to them," asserted Daisuke.
Hiroshi groaned. "Trust me, Dai. Commercials rake in the bucks… if you have a good concept," he sighed and rubbed the entry form between his fingers. "And if you can sell it the right way." They turned the corner and stopped. Not far away, a master was at work.
"Oooh! And could you put more sprinkles on that?" a redhead asked excitedly. "And I'd r-r-really like to try those toppings, there!"
"Are you sure, miss?" the ice cream vendor asked. "I don't see how you can possibly eat so much!"
"But I'm really, re-e-e-eally hungry," moaned Ranma, who was in girl-type. Ranma fluttered her eyelashes as if about to faint from said hunger.
Next to her sat Akane with an embarrassed and resigned look on her face. "Ranma, do you have to be such a pig?" she exclaimed. "Honestly!"
Kasumi had sent them out shopping for a few items she needed for an after-dinner dessert. On the way, Ranma had seen the yatai selling ice cream.
Ranma glanced at her and grinned. "Oh, Akane! It's one of the first hot days this spring! Ya ain't gonna make me lose out after an ice-cream-less winter, are ya?" Ranma went kawaii and now fluttered her eyelashes at Akane who 'ack'ed, and backed away.
Hiroshi and Daisuke grinned. They had seen Ranma pull this before. It was amazing how often the boy turned girl got away with paying nothing at all with his, or rather her 'kawaii act'.
"It was hardly ice-cream-less. And you better not let Azusa see you with that look," Akane warned.
Ranma shuddered. So did the counterman, "God! Not that girl! You can't imagine the trouble I had the other week with her!"
Ranma's curiosity was piqued. "What happened?"
"First she wanted a perfect ice cream cone, with sprinkles and nuts. So I made her one." He swallowed and looked grim as he put Ranma's confection together. "Then she started shrieking about 'Maurice, my Maurice!', hopping around with it."
"And…" Akane prompted.
"While that was going on the cone melted." He shuddered again. "Then she started mourning her 'Maurice' and demanded I make her another just like him."
"Uh-oh…"
"You said it. She went through eight cones that way until I handed her a plastic display sample I had. I kept it from when they were training me to put those things together. I mean, she wasn't eating the darn things, anyway, so I figured a prop might be a good way to get rid of her."
"Did it work?" asked Ranma.
"She was back the next day telling me her 'Maurice' was lonely, could I make her a banana split? I handed her another plastic display model and she went off shrieking about her 'Pierre'." The counterman finished assembling Ranma's ice cream. "If you can finish it all," he said predictably. "It's free."
Ranma grinned and dug in while Akane sampled her own, far smaller, confection.
"She was back the next day, whining about mint sundaes," continued the ice cream vendor, "and the next. She's cleaned me out of my display models! You wouldn't believe it!"
"Yes I would," Ranma muttered around her ice cream.
"You poor man," Akane said looking at him sorrowfully. Ranma grunted in agreement.
"She's due any time now," the man commented, causing both girls to freeze in horror. "I'm not sure what to do. I'm out of display models. I may have to close up," he sobbed.
Ranma's spoon clinked in the glass dish. "Suddenly, I'm not very hungry." Akane looked at her in surprise as she threw down some money. "Here's for the ice cream. Thanks!" the redhead caroled. Then in an aside to Akane, she said, "Let's go before the ditz shows up, okay?"
Akane nodded and finished her ice cream while looking nervously around. They left quickly, taking advantage of cover.
The ice cream vendor calmly polished the counter of his yatai. Intrigued, Hiroshi and Daisuke walked over.
"What was that about Azusa?" asked Hiroshi.
The counterman grinned. "Actually, that all happened last year. After I was out of display models, she lost interest," he answered. "But I thought I'd get a little of my own back, since I found out about Saotome's curse." He grinned as they reacted to his knowledge. "I got lucky there, when the Tendo girl mentioning that ditz. I figure I can do something like this a few more times to sucker him in before I let him know what I'm doing. Besides," he added wistfully, "his curse does make him one hell of a cute girl."
Hiroshi and Daisuke walked off snickering, anticipating Ranma's discomfiture when the harmless trap was sprung.
oOo
The two boys caught up with Ranma and Akane a few minutes later as the two faced off against Kogara and some friends of his. Kogara had been away for over a month following the demon incident. The young man seemed to be aggressively confident. "I challenge you, Saotome!" the kendoist sneered. "You will not escape my new skills!" He brandished his bokken. Ranma and Akane whispered, shaking their heads.
"Kogara… Did you go to China, by any chance?" Ranma-onna asked carelessly after the consultation.
"What? How did you know?" Kogara exclaimed. You've been spying…!"
"Call it a lucky guess." Ranma sighed and massaged her head. "Did you fall in a pool?"
"No." Kogara looked at his nemesis. "Why are you asking me this?"
"Then you didn't fall into the Pool of the Drowned Jackass?" Ranma shrugged. "You lose, Akane." His fiancée made a big deal out of rummaging through her purse for the penalty.
Kogara flushed in rage. "Cute, Saotome, very cute! I've trained hard for this day. And unlike former kendo captain Kuno, I know my limits and my abilities. I'm ready for you, Saotome."
"If you say so!" Ranma shrugged.
"I will have my revenge for your illegal theft of a position of honor due me."
At his words, Ranma shook her head again. 'What a bozo! Kuno at least had a certain comedic value.' With a sigh she responded, "Bein' Council President is a pain, Kogara. I never wanted the job." She glanced around to locate bystanders then settled into a loose stance.
Kogara ignored the response and continued to foam at the mouth. "Not satisfied with your boorish theft of my rightful position as Council President, you got me expelled from Furinkan."
Ranma frowned. "Jerk! You know why you got kicked out."
"Pervert," snarled Akane. "And you would have made a rotten Council President."
"Shut up, woman! Oh, yeah! And another thing! Let's not forget that you dishonorably sloughed off your responsibilities as president on your dyke-lover's gaijin whore, Shampoo," he snarled.
Hiroshi and Daisuke winced.
Akane, outraged, began to move around Ranma, but she held out an arm to check her. "How dare you!" Akane said in a low deadly tone. "You'll pay for that!"
"As a man, I don't fight women, Tendo," he sneered at her. "Unlike Ranma, I have a reputation to preserve. Though I wonder whether you qualify anymore," he added insolently. "Were you a screamer, Saotome? Or did you just lie there and take it?" He jerked back as Akane tried to push past Ranma to pound him.
"Hold it, Akane! He challenged me!" Ranma said in a too-too gentle voice. "I'll take care of it." She turned away from the fuming girl, her movements gentle and reserved.
Hiroshi and Daisuke sighed resignedly, as a breeze seemed to drift across the avenue. "Oh, boy! Get measured for a coffin, Kogara," commented Hiroshi.
"I can't believe he said that!" groaned a boggling Daisuke. "Is there a Pool of the Drowned Idiot?"
Ranma's laughter startled them. "So, you're jealous of Akane, ne?" She reached out and caught the tip of the wooden sword. "I wondered why ya was wavin' that thing at me." She rocked her hips, sexily and Kogara froze disconcerted.
"What?" Kogara stammered. "But… What are you doing?"
"Just as she is," Ranma continued, "I'd say she's a way better man than you'll ever be, even with that stick o' yours." Kogara went absolutely white and his supporters froze in shock. "I'm surprised ya even mention the elections for Student Council President. I certainly wasn't there to lose to. But you lost anyway. And then this bedroom envy of yours," she continued, tilting her head to one side. "I remember you out in front of the school, tryin' to fight Shampoo. And I remember you were one of the idiots fightin' Akane back when I first came here. I remember all the times you splashed me in the showers in gym and that time out of the playing field with the sprinklers." Her eyes narrowed. "I've heard about how you can't even overawe girls into dating you anymore." Ranma snapped her fingers. "I get it! Since everyone's figured out what a loser you are, you can't get any! Frustratin', ain't it?"
"How dare you?" Kogara snarled. He brandished his weapon and charged, thrusting rapidly.
Ranma smirked. "Is that the best ya can do, bozo?" She dodged almost lazily. "No wonder the girls are disappointed with yer performance."
Kogara stepped back and gave an odd whirling spin to his wooden sword. Then he leaped forward again, swinging it with terrific speed in a crosscut that would have taken Ranma from shoulder to hip had it connected. As it was, the tip ripped Ranma's shirt as she twisted to avoid the blow. Ranma used her speed to keep him at a distance while gauging his new style and looking for weaknesses in his defense. She may have been angry, but she shunted the anger aside for now. Akane also backed away, giving Ranma more room to maneuver. It looked like Kogara had done some training in the Muscle Sword School. Too bad Ranma already knew it well. Seconds later, it was over; Kogara was not a master of the technique as the Jusenkyo Enforcer had been, and Ranma had dealt with the Enforcer long ago. Ranma sighed and studied the unconscious young man who appeared to have nose-dived into the ground. She looked at Kogara's supporters. "Anybody else?" They shook their heads. They fled when Akane stomped over to insure Kogara's punishment had been thorough enough.
"I can't believe he said that!" Akane snarled. "I'm not sure I appreciated you saying I made a better man than Kogara, though." She glared at her fiancé. "And you're putting on a show."
"Crap!" Ranma whined, trying to piece her top together. "It's true, though." Ranma remarked. "I'm a pinup and you're a Chippendale-wannabe in cursed forms."
"You're weird," Akane grumbled blushing. They sprang away across the rooftops, packages in their arms.
Hiroshi nodded, turning to Daisuke. "I guess the rumors were true after all." He looked after the vanished pair, then at the unconscious Kogara. "I don't think it would be wise to mention it to anyone else, though."
Daisuke shrugged out of his pack and pulled out a couple of candy bars. "It's not like they'd do a flick for us. Though if he's getting used to it, maybe we can finally get some answers out of him about what it's like as a girl." He offered two candy bars to Hiro who was lost in thought. "With or without nuts?" he asked.
Hiroshi looked at what was offered, "With or without… Ranma…" His face brightened. "Of course!" he shouted suddenly. "Perfect!" He began to laugh in an extremely unstable manner.
Soon after, Hiroshi and Daisuke found and dragged Hikaru Gosunkugi into a huddle.
oOo
Shampoo sighed and closed her book. "I guess it time, Akane," she said. "Just to warn you: Elder Ti'en Pon from village come to observe tonight, so we no should use projective ki-techniques at all."
"Okay," Akane replied slowly. "But why not use ki? Don't your people know yet? I mean I'd think you'd tell them all right away so that hidden traitor won't do this to any more of your people."
"Not that easy, Akane." Shampoo rose and stretched, while Akane looked on a bit enviously. Shampoo's figure was typical of everything a man was said to desire in a woman. Akane still had a little trouble believing that Ranma liked hers better. "If simply accuse, Chinese government know and maybe help traitor, or decide Amazon too dangerous to leave alone. Besides, there many people who might be bad person, and maybe more than one in villages."
"You think what's-her-name, Tampon, is part of it?" asked Ranma. He sat at Akane's desk while the girls sprawled across the bed and floor of Akane's room. Despite Shampoo's request to come over to do math homework, it was more a study session where Shampoo tutored them, especially Ranma. Both girls dissolved in snickers at Ranma's deliberate mispronunciation of the Elders name.
"Maybe." Shampoo's answer was more eloquent by its simplicity.
"How about if Akane used her ki-techniques?" Ranma suggested lightly.
"I couldn't do that," objected his fiancée. "It wouldn't be right!"
Shampoo smiled lightly at Akane. "Only what I expected from you, sister."
"Honestly," huffed Akane, glaring at Ranma.
He was unrepentant. "Hey, now," he grumbled. "I know you're not gonna hurt Shampoo, Akane, but she can't promise the same thing, dammit!"
Shampoo nodded and sighed. "Too true. Especially with Elder watching." She lightly touched Akane's shoulder. "Be careful, okay? She demand I use sword because she know I very good with sword. Certain to kill if get clear advantage. Don't give advantage, Akane."
"I won't, Shampoo. I won't let you down." Akane smiled and exchanged a warm hug with the Amazon. "Where are we fighting?"
"Empty lot by railroad yard, after dinner."
"Akane, Ranma, Shampoo! Dinner!" called Kasumi from downstairs.
They sighed. Despite Kasumi's cooking, it was always a little tense right before one of the battles.
oOo
Hiroshi and Daisuke examined the two boxes they carried. Beside them, Gos ghosted along, only somewhat burdened by the large Beta camcorder that he carried. The voodoo practitioner had come a long way since the beginning of the school year, his tall frame actually supporting some muscle. Far more confident after his participation in Nutcracker Suite and the physical training Hiroshi and Daisuke had talked him into doing with them, he was whiffing a bit in memory of the previous night — a date with Mio Saratalova, their Tarot-reader from the demon mess. He fingered his cheek where a kiss had rewarded him for his efforts.
"Do we have enough?" Daisuke asked plaintively. "That took the last of my allowance."
"Look at it this way, Dai," Hiroshi reassured him. "Anything left over is for celebration when we're done." He looked around. "Now all we have to do is find Ranma." He glanced at Gosunkugi, who was lost in memory. "Hey Gos, you think you could find Ranma with magic?"
"Huh? What!" Gos barely caught the camcorder as he came out of his trance. "Oh, man!" He caught the bend of their thoughts and frowned. "Do you guys have any idea how dangerous it is to find Ranma using magic?"
"Nope! We just figured you might be able to do it," answered Daisuke with a grin.
"Look, let's say you know where a wolf's den is," Gos tried to explain. "The puppies are cute and playful. Momma Wolf is dangerous and hostile, but she's busy most of the time. You decide to play with the puppies, and maybe you get away with it a few times. Then one day, Momma Wolf is in the den, or is waiting nearby. I've found out that's what it's like every time anyone uses magic."
Hiroshi and Daisuke felt a cold chill run up their spines. "And that's true of all magic?"
"Yes." He worried briefly about Mio, as he straightened and shifted the camcorder on his shoulder. "Why don't we just call the Tendos and ask where he is?" His friends exchanged glances. "Unless they wanted privacy, Kasumi'll tell you, and we can go get this started."
"Could it be that simple?" Hiroshi breathed. In unison, they dropped to their knees and prostrated themselves at Gos's feet. "Thank you! Thank you for your wisdom!"
Hikaru Gosunkugi grimaced in embarrassment. "Will you guys get a life? Jeez!" He returned to contemplating his memories of his date with a very pretty girl.
oOo
Shampoo and Akane faced each other across the empty lot. The distant rhythmic clang of railroad cars passing over a switch counter-pointed the whirling of the wind. Cologne, Mousse and Ranma observed in grim silence. To one side, a slightly taller old woman, as ancient as Cologne in appearance with faintly blue hair, observed as well. Her robes were yellow silk and her staff was as gnarled as Shampoo's great-grandmother's. Her expression was closed, her large eyes narrow slashes in her face. Her name was Ti'en Pon. She had been in Japan for a month now, watching from the sidelines, looking for… something. Ranma privately had started calling her 'Tampon', both because of her name and because she tended to stay out of sight.
She stepped forward and shouted, "Begin!"
Their approach was not so much a rush as an advance of two irresistible waves. Shampoo struck with short two-handed blows of the curved sword after her initial attack, directed in a diagonal slash across Akane's body, failed. Akane replied with feline slithering approaches preceding devastating blows that were redirected or threatened by the sword's razor edge. Akane's insistence on close combat negated the reach and striking power of the sword. A pair of wrist bracers, similar to Ranma's, gave her enough additional protection that she didn't need to access her ki-shields to counter the sword's razor edges in those moments when dodging just wasn't an option.
Shampoo performed six short slashing attacks and a whirlwind full-arm strike before Akane managed to kick the weapon away. The sword whined through the air to thump into the ground at Ti'en Pon's feet. Then Akane wrenched away one leg of her slashed gi-trousers, as the loose material was threatening to trip her. Shampoo, of course, used this moment to attack unarmed.
By the fence, three uninvited individuals were watching and recording the battle with avid expressions.
"Wow!" breathed Hiroshi. "They look like they're really going all-out!"
"Did you get that business with the sword, Gos?" Daisuke asked. "Shampoo was using it like a chef's knife with her hand on the back of the blade like that. I wonder if it's as sharp as it looks?"
"Ow! Those hits of Akane's look like they hurt!" exclaimed Hiroshi with a worried frown. "I thought those two were getting along."
"Everything's going in the can, guys," Gos reassured them. "When we're done, we can play, pause, reverse, fast-forward and frame-advance it to the tune of thirty frames per second."
"Wow! Look at them go!" Daisuke exclaimed again.
Akane and Shampoo wheeled and struck around one another, maintaining a furious pace that allowed for little assessment except on an instinctive level. Snapping and sweeping leg strikes were deflected, redirected or avoided. Hands, open-handed or closed, grasped, elbowed and struck with deceptively light fingertips as the two fighters attempted to exploit position and vulnerabilities. At times it seemed that neither combatant cared whether they fought inverted or upright. They seemed to mold to one another, aggression being dispersed by strategic withdrawals and apparent weaknesses being offered to inspire openings in the other's defense.
Akane suddenly closed tighter with Shampoo and entangled her legs in her own. A twist sent the Amazon partly on her side and a careful strike paralyzed her long enough for Akane to strike a false deathblow before disengaging. She rolled to her feet and staggered a few steps away before regaining her balance. Waving off Ranma and Mousse, she returned to Shampoo and made certain there were no lasting affects from her technique. Carefully, she began to massage bruised muscles and trace lines of nerve interruption caused by the battle. Shampoo groaned in response but lay still until Akane was satisfied the worst was treated.
"Let's get you home, Shampoo," Akane said. She took in the Amazon's blackening eye and felt tears spring to her own. "I'm sorry." She touched the bruised area lightly, wishing they could use the ki-techniques Barry and Ranma developed to help this kind of injury. But by the time Tampon, or whatever her name was, left, the results would be in evidence for days, if not weeks.
"It okay, Akane," Shampoo murmured. "You too gentle. You could have won the fight five minutes ago if you had struck at my heart."
"You're not getting off that easy, sister," Akane said reproachfully. "I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you badly."
"Who taught the outsider girl?" spat Ti'en Pon, glaring at Cologne. "She executed several moves that are Amazon in origin. The penalty to teach an outsider is death. Death to the outsider and death to the teacher." She glared at the Matriarch.
Not far away, on the other side of the fence, Hiroshi, Daisuke and Gosunkugi went very still. Death? Suddenly, their little bit of video surveillance had nasty connotations. What were they watching?
"Akane was taught by Ranma, whom she claims as betrothed in contest to Shampoo's claim," Cologne said calmly, puffing on her pipe. "He learned them as part of a test I set for him to evaluate his strength and fitness for the Joketsuzoku. It was all in the documents I sent back, Ti'en Pon."
"What about outsiders learning Amazon techniques?" Ti'en Pon snarled. "That girl should be dead, or both she and this… this male should be dead, and you and your pathetic granddaughter should be back in China, where you belong!" She turned toward Akane and Shampoo to find her way blocked by Ranma, whose eyes were glowing strangely. She hesitated, suspicious of this warrior's aura, aware that there was power here of an unfamiliar texture.
"How dare you call my sister pathetic?" snapped Akane, stalking up supporting Shampoo with an arm and shoulder. "I suggest you apologize."
"Paah!" Ti'en Pon gestured with a hand and Ranma stepped in with raised shields to deflect the wall of force the Elder sent their way. She glared at him. "Do you dare to challenge me, boy?"
"Try me," he said simply. "You ain't got no business attackin' Akane or Shampoo."
"Ti'en Pon, you don't have the authority to challenge this young man," sighed Cologne. "Which is a pity, because he would probably make sushi of you."
"Even in the realm arcane?" demanded Ti'en Pon disbelievingly.
"You know," Ranma interrupted, "I don't like the way you smell."
"How dare you!" (WACK!) An instant later, Ti'en Pon stared broodingly at her broken staff. "We're not finished, boy," she growled and stalked away.
"Grandmother? Did not that one break Law by striking at Ranma and us?" Shampoo asked.
"Yes, child," Cologne grimaced. "But there is no sense in raising a fuss when you can't prove the allegation. You appear stronger by ignoring it, or acknowledging but refusing to offer against it."
"Hey! You hit me with your staff alla time!" complained Ranma.
She hopped up on her staff to better meet their eyes. "You, potentially at least, are a relative, son-in-law. But as neither of you are Amazons, you cannot bear witness against her. Because Shampoo and I are family and are under review because of our failure to win Ranma, it is a negation of testimony."
"What if ya had other evidence?" Ranma asked, looking smug.
Behind the fence, his words carried clearly to the three young men and their video camera.
"Uh, oh!" murmured Hiroshi. They decided in unison to leave but suddenly had a martial artist regarding them with an amused look. "Ah… ha-ha, ha…! Ranma, fancy meeting you here…"
"Hi, guys!" he cheerfully greeted them. He began herding them toward Cologne. "Watcha doin'?" he asked innocently.
"Well…" Hiroshi and Dai began in unison.
"Spying on you," said Gosunkugi directly.
"Gos!" the other two yelled, making him flinch.
"Hey, he knows already," protested the thin young man. "S-sorry, Ranma, but when we saw Akane and Shampoo s-s-squaring off, it was too good a chance to pass up."
"Ya didn't happen ta get that little by-play at the end, didja?" Ranma inquired hopefully as they joined the others.
Daisuke got a good look at Shampoo and flinched. "Ouch!" he said, appalled. "You're really messed up!" He glared at Akane reproachfully.
"Um… yeah…?" admitted Gosunkugi to Ranma's question and added, "What's going on? Is this some sort of test?"
"You could say that," croaked Cologne, smiling winningly. Everyone took a worried step back. "Oh, come now, I'm not that bad." She pointed to the camcorder. "So, you boys want some candid shots of Akane and Shampoo sparring?"
"Yes, ma'am," Hiroshi replied respectfully. The others took their cues from him, bowing and scraping deeply.
"There now, these are well-mannered young men," the old woman praised them. "Unlike some I know," she added rolling her eyes at Ranma. As they glanced at Ranma, who frowned and prepared for a retort, she tapped the eject-button with her staff and gave the camcorder a faint knock on the bottom of the case. Seconds later, she held the cassette in her withered hand.
"Hey!" protested Hiroshi in distress.
"Don't worry. You won't lose anything of importance," the matriarch said. "I'll make you a copy of the fight, but the rest concerns matters private to the Joketsuzoku. Now, scoot!" They scooted.
"Will it be enough to spoke Tampon's wheel?" Ranma asked bluntly when they were gone. He really disliked that old woman; whereas with Cologne, even when they first met, he had mostly been wary of her.
"Tampon?" snickered Cologne. "No, but it is a good start. What was that about smell, though, son-in-law?"
"I don't know," Ranma admitted. "It was more a impression than a smell. I just can't place it. It reminded me of a match that's just gone out."
"Sulfur?" Cologne verified. "Now, that's interesting. An elder that smells of brimstone." Their eyes went wide, their minds shocked to February's events and the acrid smell of brimstone as demons teleported.
"That sort of clinches it, doesn't it?" Ranma declared punching an open hand with his fist.
"Not at all, son-in-law," Cologne replied. "I've dealt with demons myself, upon occasion. It's dangerous, but manageable, if you don't get obnoxious about it." At Ranma's doubtful look she added, "It's all in the pride, boy. Call up something too powerful because you get cocky, and you get eaten instead."
Ranma stepped closer to Shampoo's great-grandmother. "You don't have that kind of signature to your ki," he said finally. "She does."
Shampoo looked pained. "Ti'en Pon was sponsor for coming of age. It like godmother in West." She sighed and straightened painfully. "Shampoo thought it might be her. Have best opportunity during re-birthing rite."
Akane looked curiously at Shampoo who shrugged. "Re-birthing?"
"Should not have said. Maybe someday you learn for self, sister." Shampoo shrugged again.
"Shampoo, don't do that," Cologne said firmly. "It will jeopardize her standing in the Tribe if the Council believes you've been feeding her all the answers."
"Yes, great-grandmother."
"Let's go to the Nekohanten, children, and see if I can't mix up something to treat Shampoo's injuries more conventionally," suggested the Matriarch. "Akane, have Ranma check your ribs on the left side. Shampoo got in a kick there, and it's possible she pinched the nerve that should be informing you they're broken."
"It feels all right," Akane said after a moment of probing with her free hand. Shampoo looked worried at her actions.
"What about here?" questioned Ranma, poking very gently a little further back along her ribs and quite deliberately releasing the pinched nerve. Ranma wanted Akane to realize how bad her condition really was.
"Ahhh!" Akane went white and staggered. She smacked Ranma's hand. "Ham-handed jerk!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Ranma exclaimed, distressed that he had had to hurt her. He dodged in and gently caught both girls as Akane threatened to slump to the ground.
Mousse twitched. He reminded himself over and over again that he '…must not lose control; Ranma was not fondling Shampoo…' It was Mousse's own lack of control that had caused all his problems and driven Shampoo away in the past. Ranma was only helping the two injured girls remain upright. His teeth ground together loud enough for Cologne to dart a glance at him.
"With your permission, Shampoo, Matriarch…" Mousse adjusted his glasses nervously. "I would assist Shampoo back to the Nekohanten while Ranma brings Akane."
"Don't take any liberties, boy," Cologne warned Mousse. She watched clinically as the Master of Hidden Weapons gently offered his arms to the woman he loved and tried to restrain the wild beating of his heart. Ranma hefted Akane carefully in preparation for the hike back to the Nekohanten. Shampoo sighed and let her head drop to Mousse's shoulder while Akane scolded Ranma for his clumsiness. All things considered, this had ended pretty well.
Mousse felt the unresisting weight of the girl he carried. Tears crept out of the corners of his eyes. He was carrying Shampoo! Were it not for her injuries, this interlude would be perfect.
Akane relished the feel of her fiancé's body as he carried her. Yet there was much that troubled her. Ranma… It was as if he were constantly testing, not his martial arts skills, but his emotional responses these days. Everything he did was… calculating; and he'd developed a rudimentary poker face that often prevented her from reading him lately. Good enough that when the Gambler King had shown up again, complaining about his last defeat, Ranma had beaten him easily. Her fiancé had eyed him, and then, while warning him about cheating, had given him such a look the gambler had been too rattled to play effectively. The Gambler King had been too flustered to even threaten as he left. An action, Akane felt, that had disappointed Ranma in some way.
There had been other incidents, in addition to the ice cream vendor today, where Ranma had used his girl form to gain advantage. His performance, once cutely overdone, had recently been forced, often tentative, as if he were second-guessing himself. Today's gushing portrayal was far above average, which she suspected could be attributed to the ice cream.
"Ranma?" she asked, snuggling as close to his chest as her ribs allowed. She felt his arms tighten reassuringly. "What's wrong?"
He almost dropped her. Recovering he looked down into her concerned and somewhat pained (she had been jarred, after all) eyes and gulped. "Nothin', Akane," he said. "Sorry 'bout that." He went back to roof hopping with ferocious concentration.
"Nothing my ribs," she retorted. "You've been off for a while now."
"…"
"That business with the ice cream today is the closest you've acted to normal since…"
"Since…?" The word snuck out of his unsuspecting lips.
"Since we made love."
"That wasn't what I called it." His voice delivered a sharp growl, while Akane froze in shock and hurt. Ranma's lips compressed into a thin line. He hadn't wanted to say it that way. She definitely hadn't wanted to hear it. They finished the trip to the Nekohanten in silence.
oOo
Across the street from the rail yard, Hiroshi, Daisuke and Gosunkugi lamented the loss of their tape.
"Damn! So close!" mourned Hiroshi.
"Maybe she'll give a copy back," suggested the Gosunkugi thoughtfully. "She said she would."
"Not her!" groaned Daisuke. "She stuck Ranma in girl-form for two months trying to make him marry Shampoo. Besides, we're not Amazons. She doesn't have to keep deals with us."
"You'd think Ranma would be more upset about it." The three young men exchanged glances at this distant glimmer of hope.
Hiroshi cleared his throat. "Ranma seemed almost pleased, in fact," he said thoughtfully. His face scrunched as he tried to decide if that was a good thing or a bad one. His fingers drummed a tattoo on the lamppost he leaned against. Then he smiled. "Perfect!" he whispered.
oOo
"What do you want me to do?" asked Ranma suspiciously. It was lunchtime at Furinkan and many of the girls were surrounding Shampoo and Akane, asking questions and being sympathetic to the Amazon's black eye. Ranma had found all the femininity too much and had escaped to get some peace and quiet. He had found his friends instead.
"We have a little project you might want in on," Hiroshi said smoothly. Behind him, Daisuke nod-nodded. "It could mean some free treats."
"This ain't about no hentai skin flick, like last time?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nope! Just a little job that needs a martial artist."
Ranma eyed them in silence for a long time.
"If you're interested, meet us at Kazakurumi's stall at the market after school," Hiroshi said grinning. "If you're not there by 4:00, I guess we'll have to find someone else." They turned and walked away.
"You guys are up to something," Ranma muttered softly. Regardless of his suspicions, he planned to arrive at the market before 4:00 P.M.
oOo
Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo looked around for Ranma as they walked toward Ucchan's after school. "Where is that baka? Honestly!" Akane grumped as her footsteps began to incline toward stomping.
"How is your side?" Shampoo asked, diverting her focus.
Akane resumed a more normal gait and probed gingerly at her ribs. "Actually, pretty good!" she laughed. "You have to admit that Ranma sure knows his ki-techniques." She glanced at Shampoo's bruised eye and her face fell.
Shampoo waved off the beginning of a deluge of apologies. "Please, Akane-chan," she interrupted. "I try to kill you. If Shampoo in traction in hospital, Akane has no need for apology." She flourished a cassette. "If we see Hiro and Dai, have edited copy for them of our fight."
"You know, you gals make my head hurt," complained Ukyo. "I've never seen two girls as close as you have gotten who periodically try to murder each other."
"Ukyo wrong," Shampoo corrected. "Shampoo and Akane fight with honor. Is not murder. And only Shampoo trying for kill. Akane try not to hurt or kill me, even though she should." She sighed, "Sometimes I hate being Amazon."
Ukyo boggled slightly at the two girls and walked on. Shampoo was very depressed today. "If you hate it, why do it?" she asked finally. "I don't understand."
"Amazon not have constitution. Laws founded on tradition. Tradition challenged only when new ideas show better than old ones. This very slow process. Amazon leaders no like some peoples; or make laws because want names known," Shampoo added abstractedly. "Leaders selected by what is known of them: their character and skills. They must also meet approval of Elders sitting on Council. If so, candidate has chance every six years after fiftieth birthday to be elected as Elder for life by women of tribe. Then Elder is on Council for life or until step down." She shrugged. "Once on Council, Elder may try change laws. Must learn how to get help of other Elders. Is politics, big-time!"
"I've heard Cologne referred to as both Elder and Matriarch," Ukyo said. "Which is she?"
"Is Matriarch. Was Elder, but resign post when Shampoo come second time to Japan. Matriarch is any woman over seventy who have mastery of one of the five Arts. Elders must spend two seasons out of every three in village, but Matriarchs no need stay. And Matriarchs advise Elders."
"So Cologne can't even argue to change this law that says you have to kill Akane?"
"Only Elder can make or change law. Anyone can say need law, but only Elder can do. Only all Elders agreeing can change law." She frowned. "Because Shampoo call on old tradition of kiss-of-death and kiss-of-marriage, Shampoo must take husband or die trying." She sighed. "If I die, honor of family intact, and Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung still have much honor." She sighed. Of course Ling-Ling had been pining away for Mint the past month. Herb hadn't been any more enthusiastic about having an Amazon as Mint's wife than Cologne had been to have a Musk retainer in her family. "May someday become Elders on Council. If bring husband, about same for Shampoo. If fail outright — return without husband — then honor gone and family members probably not have power again on Council for generations." She looked grim.
"Let me guess. You want to change those stupid 'kiss of marriage, kiss of death' laws of yours?" Ukyo asked in understanding. "That means you have to get on the Council. Talk about long term!"
"Yes," declared Shampoo. "I foolish and proud enough to be caught in trap of pride, but this law hurt others that could be friends and strengthen Amazon." Shampoo nodded. "There other laws, but that one very bad."
"Hey! In a perfect world—Eeep!" Suddenly Ukyo jerked to a halt, as a robed figure seemed to appear before her face.
"Shampoo! I just came from the market!" Mousse grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake… one that indicated she should come to her senses. Ukyo bopped him to return him to his.
"Idiot! Use your glasses or your ki-sight, duck-boy!"
Mousse jerked back, flushed in embarrassment. He hadn't done this in a while, but… "It's Ranma!" Mousse shouted, orienting on Shampoo. "Those idiot, so-called friends of his have set up to film again! I don't know what they've told him, but he was headed for the marketplace. I overheard that they would have dozens of extras…" Mousse swallowed his bile at the thought of a transformed Ranma doing some of the things he had seen done on screen, when he managed to sneak in on Shampoo's training films so long ago. A thought occurred to him. It wouldn't matter to Shampoo if Ranma was a pervert, but Akane would probably disown him for good! "Hello?" He looked around, but everyone had disappeared.
oOo
Akane cursed and tried to put on more speed. It was all the pressure Ranma had been under! Yes, the missing months, the business with Kodachi and Taro, the insanity around Nutcracker Suite, that false prophecy about Ranma… Yes, he had snapped; and Akane knew from experience just what was needed to snap him back. "THAT JERK!" she screamed and drew her mallet out of ki-space.
"That jackass, that jackass, that jackass, that jackass, that JACKASS!" chanted Ukyo, her face red with embarrassment at what Mousse had implied. She wasn't certain who the jackass was at this moment, but felt that if Akane caught Ranma in the mood she was in he was going to be a little smear. She didn't think Akane deserved that.
Shampoo simply cursed up a storm in five languages behind them. She had a sore ankle that just wasn't up to these kinds of shenanigans, and wanted to be in on the kill of Hiroshi, Daisuke and possibly that weird Gosunkugi boy. It had to be blackmail or drugs or both; maybe magic… Yes, the weird skinny one was into some sort of spiritualist-magic. As they passed Ucchan's she saw the pole Ukyo hung her sign on and grabbed it. Wrapping her good leg about it for leverage and using her body's momentum as an engine, she pogoed along much in the fashion of Cologne. She began to make up lost ground, though it was an exhausting maneuver.