Silver Moon (Slightly Renovated)
A Parody Of Golden Sun
AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GOLDEN SUN
------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Two
POP: One review? Do you know how hard it is to make a 2,000-word story in the form I'm using?
Flint: If you could read you would notice the little message that clearly states new reviews can take up to a day to show up. Anyhow, you should be happy getting one from Lord Cynic less than a day after you posted your pathetic story.
POP: PATHETIC STORY? You insult the popular Golden Sun game!
Flint: No. You insult the popular golden sun game.
POP: Oh? Well how about you make part two, then we will see who's the better writer!
Flint: Sure. Expect better this time folks.
POP: If it's horrible, sue him.
Flint: Be quiet, you pathetic fool!
POP: Wait! Our reviewer asked a question!
Flint: No, he said he didn't want to know...
POP: Oh well, it makes my fan-fiction longer so that I have to write less plot. Mia, will you answer Lord Cynic's question? How do you manage to get all those robes on? In fact, why the heck do you have so many?
Mia: Well, each robe I have on increases my power and defense, so the more the better. How did I put them on? If you'll examine this mathematical formula the radius of my robes combined with its lustrous bluish color--
Flint: Uh, Mia, do you even know what you're talking about?
Mia: Not really, I'm not used to people asking about how I put my clothes on.
POP: Okaaaaaaaaaaay then, let's go on with the story.
Lamakan Desert (In front of a deadly beast)
Garet: Hey! What's that big cat doing out here? Is it lost?
Isaac: Oh, Garet, it looks so lonely -Sarcasm-. You should go hug it while we run past…
Garet: Good idea, Isaac. Come here kitty! What's your name?
Manticore: Roar, rawr meow roar!
Garet: Manticore? That's an odd name for such a funny kitty.
Manticore: Roar! -Breathes fire-
Garet: Oh no! Someone set the kitty's mouth on fire!
Isaac: Err, I guess I'll help you out a little Garet. (We need someone to take all the hits!) Prepare to die, beast!
Mia: Oh! I'm sure you can do it, Isaac!
Manticore: RAWR! -Scorches Isaac-
Isaac: Medic! -Scorched again-
Ivan: Mia, aren't you going to save Isaac?
Mia: You're right! I have to save my dear Isaac! -Charges at the Manticore with her staff-
Manticore: Roar? (Why the heck is their healer attacking me?) -Scorches Mia-
Ivan: When I said "Save Isaac"… I was thinking more along the lines of healing Isaac with her psynergy.
Garet: -Pokes Isaac and Mia, getting no response- I think Isaac and Mia fell asleep!
POP: Is that so? -Searches Isaac's pockets and then takes all his gold- I didn't steal anything! Nothing! Do you hear me! Nothing!
Ivan&Garet: -Backing away- Yes sir! Nothing...
POP: Excellent...
Garet: I think the kitty ran away after I threw water at it. -Frown- I was just trying to help.
POP: I bet it will thank you the next time we pass here, Garet. What's our status, Ivan?
Ivan: We have three choices: 1. Use a Water of Life on Isaac who might up using (More like wasting...) a Water of Life on Mia. 2. Use a Water of Life on Mia who will end up wasting ALL her Water of Life's on Isaac. Or... My favorite.
POP: Yes..?
Ivan: 3. We pour the water of life on our heads and laugh at their twitching bodies until we get to the next temple.
POP: Hehehe...
Garet: The last one sounds like fun. I'm parched!
POP: Yeah, hahahaha. We can say we bought a game-shark and they were tempted by the lures of the debug room.
Ivan: Eh? (What room?)
POP: Never-mind.
Kalay
POP: Ahah, a temple!
Ivan: Our fun ends so soon?
Isaac: -Twitch-
Mia: -Twitch-
POP: Sadly, yes.
Ivan: While it lasted!
POP: Indeed.
Temple
Monk: Have you need of my help?
Isaac: -Twitch-
Monk: -Revives both Isaac and Mia-
Ivan: Funky church music...
POP: Yeah. I know.
Mia: I feel better.
Isaac: Me too.
Ivan: (Shoot)
Garet: (Shoot?)
POP: Damn!
Monk: That will cost you… Just about an arm and a leg.
POP: But I only have so many of those!
Monk: It's just an expression. I'll just need a couple thousand pounds of gold.
POP: Sure! (I stole this all from Isaac!) -Hands half of the gold over-
Monk: Hooray! I'm going to go live in a big mansion filled with attractive women and expensive cars!
POP: Great idea! I'll visit you sometime!
Isaac: Has anyone seen my rather large sum of gold?
POP: --To the inn!
In the Inn
Isaac: Do you have any rooms here?
Innkeeper: We are pretty much packed with these Colosso freaks everywhere, but we have three rooms left. One with one bed. Two with two beds. (They always do this in humor/romance stories...) -Sigh-
POP: Here's the money, keep the change.
Isaac: You have money?
POP: Long story.
Choices
Ivan: Who's sleeping where?
POP: I got it all figured out. Kind of.
Isaac: Okay.
POP: I guess Ivan and I get one of the two-bed rooms.
Ivan: As long as I'm not with Garet or Mia. One snores and the other is a girl!
Garet: Which one of those am I?
POP: Shut up, you moron. I guess nobody wants to hear Garet's snoring so he gets his own room. Which leaves us with...
Mia: Hehehe...
Isaac: This is going be an interesting and long night...
POP: Yeah, I feel sorry for you. (Yeah right! I enjoy your torture!)
Later
Ivan: Wow, it's later!
Ivan and POP's room
POP: Hey Ivan, what are you reading?
Ivan: 101 Ways to Torture Isaac. What are you reading?
POP: 103 Ways to Torture Isaac.
Ivan: Whoa, is that the new one?
POP: You bet!
Garet's room
Garet: -Snore- Ahhhhhhhhhhh, no! Stay away!
Garet: -Snore- Noooooooo! Pink furry bunnies of doom!
Garet: -Snore- Mmmm... Bunny stew.
Forge: Mwahahahaha! Mmmmmmmmm... Garet stew.
Garet: -Snore and twitch-
Smog: Gahaha! This is funny and evil.
Isaac and Mia's room
Mia: Isaac…
Isaac: -Asleep-
Mia: Isaac!
Isaac: -Awake- What...
Mia: I'm bored...
Isaac: Um, right. Well I'm here for you.
Mia: Isaac, do you love me?
Isaac: Wha..?
Mia: Well I love you…
Isaac: Mia, you met me at least a day or two ago.
Mia: -Ignores- Has it really been that long? It seems like yesterday.
Isaac: Actually, I'm pretty sure it WAS yesterday, or at least this week.
Mia: But—
Isaac: Give it some time Mia, we still have a whole long adventure ahead of us… Assuming we keep screwing up for the sake of humor instead of getting anywhere.
Mia: I guess I can wait (A few hours)
Morning(Finally!)
Ivan: Oh, hey Plague, you're awake!
POP: Thanks for the reassurance-- I can't tell when I haven't had any breakfast yet.
Ivan: I heard they are starting breakfast right now.
POP: Well, it's time to break the fast!
Isaac: It's a nice day.
Mia: It always is when you're around.
Isaac: -Gives Mia a kiss-
Mia: -Giggle-
Director: Sorry to break up your romantic moment, but you have to go downstairs for breakfast eventually. The story must progress!
Mia: Damn.
Isaac: I'm a bit hungry, anyway.
Mia: Well, it's time to break the fast!
POP: Please don't steal my lines.
Mia: Quiet. -Kicks POP-
Breakfast!
Ivan: That's strange, no section written about Garet waking up?
Isaac: Oh well, I'm hungry.
Eating breakfast!
Ivan: My favorite part.
Flint: Stop commenting on my section titles!
Ivan: Sorry.
Mia: Garet is already here?
Chef: Yes, he has been sitting at the table begging for food since 4:30!
Garet: I demand more bacon!
POP: Garet, you stupid idiot! You're making a scene!
After breakfast
Isaac: Let's go to Tolbi!
Ivan: Why?
Isaac: Why else? For gambling and drinking with beautiful Tolbian women!
Mia: -Glare-
POP: Amen, brother! -High-fives Isaac-
Garet: Okay, the dock is south of here. I asked the bunnies!
Ivan: (Bunnies?) Garet, you need some... professional help.
Tolbi Docks
Garet: I'm not sailing on that piece of junk. -Points at the broken down ship-
Ivan: Good point, Garet. That's why we're sailing in the private yacht over here! -Points at the boat as it explodes into flames- Err, that isn't right.
POP: Damn you, spontaneous combustion!
Isaac: I guess we're taking that… -Groan-
Ivan: Let's get some tickets and we're off!
On the ship
Mia: Why aren't we leaving? We've been waiting for hours.
Isaac: The crew must be having some trouble.
Garet: I'll get to the meaning of this! -Heads off somewhere-
Ivan: Uh. I'll go make sure he doesn't start this ship on fire. -Follows-
Captain's cabin
Captain: Can I, uh, help you?
Garet: Crunchatize me, cap'n!
Ivan: What he's trying to say is… WHY ISN'T THE SHIP LEAVING!
Captain: Well, we've been having a few technical problems. Firstly, I have lost my most precious anchor-shaped charm, and I can't leave without it!
Ivan: Actually you can leave without it -Threatens with sword-
Captain: No, you don't understand! It's good luck! It was passed down to me by my father and to him by his father and to him by HIS father.
Garet: Who gave it to him?
Captain: Oh, my great-grandfather found it in a cereal box… But please, sirs! It's so important to me!
Ivan: …Fine, we'll get your charm, then what?
Captain: I need a crew to row the boat.
Ivan: You mean you DON'T HAVE A CREW?
Captain: Well I wasn't able to hire them. I blew all my money on alcohol and a hundred man search team to find my precious charm.\
Garet: Don't worry, cap'n, leave this all to the Knights of the Silver Moon!
Captain: Oh! The Silver Moon! I know I can trust you with this, kind sirs!
Ivan: Knights of the Silver Moon..?
Garet: Yes! That's what me and Isaac are! You can be my squire!
Ivan: Uh, no. Now let's leave this idiot captain!
Garet: Can I start the ship on fire?
Ivan: Later, Garet, later...
Regrouped
POP: So what's the problem?
Ivan: Our captain is a moron and blew all his money looking for an anchor-shaped charm he lost.
Mia: You mean this? -Takes charm out of… Somewhere-
Ivan: That's the one! -Takes charm-
Isaac: So what's the problem, then?
Ivan: Since he blew all his money on it he couldn't afford a crew… So, yeah.
Isaac&Mia&POP: NO CREW?
POP: You know what this means, everyone? We have to sail the ship, well, we meaning everyone but me. I'll leave it to all of you. -Leaves-
Ivan: …
Isaac: …
Mia: …
Garet: I want to be the captain! Wheeeee!
Ivan: There must be some way to get out of rowing this thing.
-A party of passengers arrive-
Ivan: We'll make them do all the work! For great laziness!
Sailor's Life (Wow, an actual title)
Old Man: Ugh… I'm so tired of rowing!
Garet: Yarr, back to work ye salty dog!
Isaac: -Stretches- This was a great idea, Ivan!
Ivan: I know!
Mia: Isaac, you go right to work rowing! I want this done fast!
Ivan: Well I'm going to go read a book. Tell me when it's lunchtime.
Garet: Yarr! Ye better be back 'fore I eat everything, sailor!
Ivan: I wouldn't doubt the possibility.
Ivan's Cabin
Ivan: -Reading '50 reasons why Ivan can't get Sheba to notice him'-
Ivan: Reason 5 and 2 100ths. Is this some kind of joke? This must be waaay more than fifty reasons.
POP: Oh I see you're reading my book. Well, you know, it's hard to just list fifty of them.
Ivan: -Plasma-
POP: I'll be going now...
Back to our other hard-working adepts
Old Man: I can't take it anymore!
Another Passenger: Me neither!
Isaac: Revooooolt!
Garet: -Eyes them and draws his standard pirate cutlass™- I'll have no mutiny aboard MY ship! Get back to your ores or I'll gut you all and then make you walk the plank!
Isaac: Garet, we can't walk the plank if we're already dead.
Garet: Yarr! I'll have no lip from you, skipper! Get back to work!
Isaac: Right away, cap'n! -Groan-
Mia: That's right! You all better keep working because I said so!
Rowers: Ugh, women…
Ship Captain: -On intercom- We have a level alpha-3 emergency, Captain Garet!
Garet: What be it, Cap'n?
Real Captain: I've lost my beautiful charm again!
Isaac: THAT'S an emergency?
Ship Captain: Oh yes, there's also a incredibly dangerous and destructive Kraken that just landed on out boat. Might want to fix that. -End intercom-
Garet: Hmm, this doesn't bode well. Yarr, you with the sea-blue hair! Go take on that Kraken!
Mia: ME? Why should I do that when I can force Isaac to?
Isaac: -Groan-
Garet: Oh, stop complaining, I'll buy ye a round at the next pub, sailor!
Isaac: To the deck!
Kraken: BOSS Battle!
Kraken Appeared!
Kraken: Hello gentleman.
Mia: I happen to be a lady!
Kraken: All your ship are belong to me! Hahaha.
Isaac: What you say? -Ragnarok-
Kraken: Hah! You think that could stop ME?
Isaac: Not really, but it looked cool!
Mia: Don't lose hope, Isaac!
Kraken: Any last words, fools?
Isaac: Yep. CAAAAPTAIN!
Ship Captain: What is it, passenger/sailor?
Isaac: That thing ate your charm!
Kraken: Charm? Wha..?
Ship Captain: I'll teach you not to eat people's property! -Blasts Kraken with his pistol-
Kraken: Ooooh! That hit the spot! -Dies-
Kraken dropped Useless Anchor Charm!
Ship Captain: Score! -Leaves-
Mia: You did it Isaac! -Hug-
Isaac: I guess I did, those boss battles aren't easy you know. -Beaming pride-
Mia: Now get back to rowing! -Glare-
Isaac: Awww...
To be continued next chapter
POP: And lucky you! I'll make more even if you don't review.
Flint: I think people like Chapter 2 better.
Sleet: Read and Review (Or Review and Read, your choice)
Zepyr: Or else!