Episode 3 Chapter 5

The Life and Times of Buffy Anne Summers-Skywalker

Buffy tiredly made her way to her quarters. It had been a long day and Buffy was worried about what Palpatine wanted with her brother now. Add on to that the way he had been acting recently… well, it made for a worried Buffy.

Settling down on the couch in her small apartment at the temple, she glanced around at the sparse decorations. She used to hate the lack of personalization that personified the life of the Jedi, but after Jacen…Buffy sighed. It still hurt to think about them - to think about him - but she was beginning to think that she would never really start to get over his death until she talked to someone about it. She looked over to the corner of the room where she had a small holotransmitter installed and sighed again.

Maybe she could kill two birds with one stone.

Shmi Skywalker bustled around the kitchen on Tatooine, preparing some fresh java juice for her husband when her holo-net transceiver beeped. She quickly moved over to the desk where her son had had the receiver installed a few years ago and switched it on. A smile immediately played over her lips as she saw who was on the other end.

"Buffy!"

On the screen, her adopted daughter smiled back. "Hey, Mom. How are you?"

"How am I? How are you!" Shmi exclaimed. "I've wanted to speak with you since you were found…"

"I know, Anakin told me," Buffy replied with a sigh. "I'm sorry it's taken so long, but I've been swamped up here. They put me on the Council - how screwed up is that?"

"Anakin told me that," Shmi replied, a small smile on her lips "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Buffy replied. Before she could stall anymore, Shmi spoke.

"Buffy, I know why you've called," she said simply. The Slayer sighed and folded her shaking hands.

"Don't know how you could figure it out," Buffy muttered, her voice strained. But Shmi was smiling that knowing smile that Buffy had really missed after all of these years.

"Call it mother's intuition," Shmi replied fondly, settling back against a table and waiting for her adopted daughter to continue. She knew better than to press her… if Buffy wanted to come to her, she was going to have to do it on her own.

"I don't know where to begin"

"Why not at the beginning?"

Buffy chuckled. "Yeah, I guess that would be a good place to start." Taking a deep breath, Buffy prepared herself to plunge into her past.

It was a pretty straight-forward mission. Go to Corellia, scout around, and report on any enemy activity. Corellia is an interesting planet – strategic-wise. They produce some of the fastest and strongest ships in the Galaxy, but at the same time most of the people who design or build the ships are already off-planet at other shipyards closer to the core. So while it would be preferred to have the planet free, it wasn't 'strategically necessary', as they said in the Senate.

Freakin' politicians.

Anyway, the Council decided I would be the best person for the job, since I was practically born to sneak around undetected. I wasn't as good of a flyer as Ani, but the intel we got only suggested a small Separatist contingent on the planet and no aerial support.

Freakin' intel…

"Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze!" Buffy cried as her starfighter was pounded by another Separatist defense platform. "No defenses, my ass! R-6, broadcast this on all emergency frequencies!" Buffy cried as she desperately tried to dodge the energy beams lancing out at her ship from the half dozen defense platforms in orbit around the besieged planet. "To all Republic forces, this is Jedi Skywalker! Intel wrong! Corellia heavily fortified - defense platforms and capital ships! I repeat, this is­-" Before she could finish, a bolt hit her ship, blasting apart R-6 and knocking out her communications. "Oh, crap!" she cried then, making a split-second decision, she pushed the stick down and sent her ship plummeting towards the planet.

In an instant, she was slicing through the atmosphere while still dodging energy beams. Just before she broke through to the inner atmosphere, a lucky shot struck the back of her ship, destroying one of the two Ion engines. The starfighter started to spin down, hopelessly out of control.

Well, hopeless for a normal person, not for a Slayer. Or a Jedi. And Buffy happened to be both. With considerable effort, she managed to bring her starfighter out of its spin and into a straight, if steep, decent course. With her instruments knocked out, she frantically looked out through her canopy for a clear area to land, and saw an open field about 5 miles south of a newly walled city.

Must be turning the bigger cities into detention camps. Buffy thought. Damn, they've been here longer than we thought.

A few moments later her ship was crashing through the thick trees that surrounded the clearing, shearing off the wings of her ship and rocking it so hard that Buffy felt like a bobble-head, her head was being forced around so much. As she exited the trees, the nose of her ship immediately plummeted and her destroyed ship crashed into the soft earth. It skidded a few yards before finally grinding to a halt.

"Flying is for droids," Buffy groaned as she undid her flight harness, then reached back behind her head and grasped the two emergency canopy release levers. She pulled and then winced as the explosive bolts blasted the cracked canopy clear of the ship. Gingerly she climbed out of the wreckage, looking over herself for any injuries. Finding nothing serious, she glanced mournfully at her ship.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere in that again," she mumbled to herself. "Looks like I'm stuck here." She quickly threw her robe back into the wreckage, leaving her clad in her dark pants, shirt and vest. She hooked her lightsaber to her belt and then reached into her ship one last time and activated the self destruct.

I knew I wasn't leaving in my ship, so I decided to destroy it. That way, when the droids came to investigate, they'd find a completely destroyed ship and think the pilot had been vaporized. At least, that's what I hoped.

I decided to make my way back to the city I had seen. On the way there, I found out I hadn't actually landed in a forest - it was actually a park that had been in a rural area of the city. When the Separatists came, they turned the major cities into interment camps, and had decimated the rural towns. I saw a lot of dead - the Corellians didn't go down without a fight.

I found what looked to be the main road that headed into the city and started walking down it. Of course, that proved to be a monumentally stupid idea, since I hadn't been walking for five minutes when I stepped on something…

Click

Buffy looked down and then groaned.

Landmine. I had to step on a landmine. Out loud, she merely muttered. "Snafu."

"Bless you."

Buffy head whipped up to spot a figure leaning casually against the remains of a light pole. He was tall and well built, with sandy brown hair and blue eyes that would melt a girl's heart. His rugged good looks were offset though, in Buffy's mind, by the smart-ass smirk that played across his otherwise handsome features.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" he asked in a mocking voice. "Looks like I caught a Separatist spy. Though I don't think I've ever caught one as good looking before."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Are you blind?" she asked, gesturing to her outfit - obvious Jedi garb. "Do I look like a Separatist?"

"Dooku's a Jedi," the man retorted, the look on his face tensing.

"Dooku was a Jedi."

"Whatever. Point is funny clothes and a lightsaber on your belt don't mean squat around here."

Buffy groaned in annoyance. "Look, I was on a reconnaissance mission for the Republic when my ship was shot down. I was heading into the town to look for any resistance movement so I could find out what the hell's going on here."

"Well, I got good news and bad news for you, sweetheart. Good news - you found the resistance. Bad news - I'm not inclined to believe your bullsh-"

In an instant, Buffy leapt to the side, using the Force to fling the landmine in the opposite direction. She tucked and rolled as it exploded, coming up on one knee with her lightsaber drawn. The man had drawn his own blaster and fired. Buffy easily deflected the shot back at the man; the deflected bolt blew apart the blaster. With a quick shout of pain, he drew a holdout blaster in his left hand and fired once more. Buffy again deflected the bolt, this time into the man's leg. Then she leapt up, closing the distance between them within moments and used her saber to slice clean through the blaster's barrel. She quickly brought the blade back around, holding it just under his chin.

"Well, I got good news and bad news for you, sweetheart," she snarled. "Bad news is you're going to limp for a while. Good news is I'm not going to kill you. Now I told you - I'm not the bad guy. And since I appear to be stuck here for now, I'm going to do you and your resistance a favor and help out. So get up and limp your ass back to the city."

The man sighed in defeat and then held out a hand for help up. Buffy deactivated her saber and cautiously helped him up. "Fine, I'll take you into the city. But you pull any funny stuff and my boys will take you out, got it."

"I'm quaking with fear," Buffy replied dryly.

"Right," he replied. Then after a moments hesitation asked, "You got a name?"

"Buffy Summers-Skywalker, Jedi Knight," Buffy replied after a moment. "What's yours?"

"Solo," he replied solemnly. "Jacen Solo."

They walked in silence for about a mile when suddenly Jacen stopped and pointed to a dilapidated house. It was a wreck - holes in the ceiling, scorch marks on the permacrete walls and windows blown out from explosions.

"In here," Jacen said as he led the Jedi woman into the ruined home. They reached the middle of the home and Jacen bent down and threw off a small rug that was concealing a trap door. He opened it and gave her a wicked grin.

"Down we go," he said as he jumped down the hole. Buffy smirked when a moment later she heard him yelp in pain.

"Down we go," she muttered to herself as she jumped down the hole. She landed in a small stream of water, not even a foot thick. She glanced around and groaned. "Of course, I end up in a sewer." She inhaled, and then gagged at the stench. She turned to Jacen and glared. "What a beautiful smell you've discovered."

Jacen shrugged. "Old sewer system. Not used for much now except to catch storm overflow. Of course, a lot more than water's been pouring down the drains recently." He pulled at a chain that dangled from the opening, causing the trap door to slam shut. "Camps about twenty clicks due south. Let's get a move on."

The tow walked (or in Jacen's case, limped) in silence for a while. Finally, Jacen looked over to the Jedi.

"What kind of name is Summers-Skywalker?" he asked. "I thought Jedi couldn't get married."

"I'm not married. I was adopted. Skywalker is my adopted name. Summers was my real name," she replied.

"Thought Jedi couldn't have families."

Buffy chuckled. "I wasn't exactly the normal Jedi. Neither was my brother for that matter."

They neared the end of the tunnel and Buffy saw a door guarded by a large, burly, dark fellow whose attire was vastly different from his dirty surroundings.

"That you, Solo?" the man called out in a deep, booming voice.

"Yeah, it's me," Jacen replied, coming to a halt in front of the guard. "Everything okay, Darcen?"

"Yeah, everything's calm. No sign of the Seps, unless you brought one with ya?" he added, looking over Buffy for a moment before his eye's widened. "Hey, you're a Jedi!"

"Was it the outfit that gave it away?" Buffy asked dryly. Darcen chuckled, and then looked over Jacen again. "What happened to your hand, Solo?"

Jacen fought hard to fight down his embarrassment over being taken down so easily by such a small girl. "Uh…my blaster overloaded."

Buffy looked over at Jacen with a deadpan expression.

"And your leg?"

"Tripped."

Buffy's eyebrow rose. And form the look on Darcen's face, he didn't buy it either.

"Right, Jacen. You didn't get your ass handed to you by the Jedi."

Jacen looked indignant. "Hey! I did not get my ass kicked by the vanilla midget over there!"

"It's true," Buffy replied. "What I did to him was over so fast it didn't count as an ass kicking."

Darcen chuckled. "Tomasen is looking for you, Jacen. He'll probably want to say hello to you as well, Jedi." He turned and opened the door. "Welcome home."

"You look like bantha poodoo, Solo," Thomasen said as the two made their way into the Rebel commander's office. His gaze shifted over to Buffy. "Who the hell are you?"

Buffy bristled slightly at his tone, but otherwise stayed calm. "Buffy Summers-Skywalker, Jedi Knight. And who the hell are you?"

The Rebel commander smiled. "Colonel Therance Thomasen, formerly of the Corellian Armed Forces. I'm helping to run this little rebellion here, along with a few others. And what about you, Jedi Skywalker? Why are you here?"

"I was on a reconnaissance mission, trying to find out if the Separatists had taken the planet or not. I guess our intelligence was a little inaccurate coz when I got here, I found the planet taken and surrounded by ODP's."

"And I'm guessing the Orbital Defense Platforms shot you down?" the Colonel asked. Buffy just nodded. "Well, you're going to be stuck here for a while. Coms are jammed, traffic off planet is non-existent. They got the civvies working in plants cranking out Vulture Droids, while the rest suffer in the internment camps. They put the camps in the large cities so we would have no place to grow food, which is becoming scarcer everyday. Right now we got a working resistance movement, three thousand strong and growing."

"Well, seeing as I'm not going anywhere Colonel, I'd like to offer my help to your cause."

"We appreciate all the help we can get, especially from a Jedi," Thomasen replied, his eyes gazing over her calculatingly. "Never seen one of you in action before. You sure your game?"

"I didn't create this situation. I'm just dealing with it," Buffy replied. "In the meantime, you got a place for me to stay?"

"Sure. You can stay with Solo."

"What?"

Thomasen glanced at Jacen, his lips tightening. But the meaning in his eyes was clear. "He won't bite."

"Are you crazy? You want me to stay with him?"

Jacen's eyes swept over to her, frowning slightly. "There's nothing wrong with me!"

"Try saying that before you shoot me next time," she muttered furiously.

"Let me put this another way," Thomasen said in a tired voice, crossing his arms and gazing thoughtfully at the Jedi. "You can stay with Jacen. Or you can go up to the Separatists and take your chances with them."

It was so not a good choice from where she was standing. "I can," she sighed, admitting her defeat by throwing her hands in the air.

"She can?" they both asked at the same time.

Jacen was fortunate enough, if you could call it fortune, to be living in the city when it was walled in. As a result, he still had his apartment, which was rather spacious and had a few extra rooms for impromptu guests, like me. It was also home to his son, a little boy named Han…

"Who are you?"

Buffy hadn't even stepped through the door when the question hit her. She looked down and saw a small, lanky boy with messy brown hair and dazzling blue eyes looking up at her suspiciously. Buffy quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm Santa Claus," she replied dryly. "Are you one of the elves?" When the boy's brow furled in confusion, Buffy sighed. "Nobody gets me."

"This is my son, Han. Han, this is the Van-"

"Say it and I take out your other leg," Buffy growled.

"Buffy Summers-Skywalker, Jedi Knight," Jacen adjusted smoothly. "She'll be staying here for a while. So why don't you go set the table for one more - I'm sure we're all starving."

"Alright, Dad," Han said, casting one more curious glance at the Jedi before heading into the dining room. Buffy looked at the bemused smile on Jacen's face.

"Cute kid," she said. Jacen nodded.

"He's just feeling you out," he replied. After a moment, he added, "I think he likes you."

"What happened to his mom?" she asked gently, already sensing the answer. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw sadness pass over his face.

"She died about a year after he was born," he replied softly, "lingering complications from childbirth. Jaina was never a very healthy woman and giving birth took its toll on her."

"I'm sorry," Buffy replied sincerely. "My mom died not very long before I came here. I'm sorry for your loss."

Jacen smiled sadly. "And I'm sorry for yours."

Dinner that night was unusually…warm, I guess. I hadn't felt like that since the dinners you, Ani, and I used to have, or the family dinners I used to have with Dawn and Mom. Han reminded me a lot of Dawn - very inquisitive, verging on annoying.

"So, where are you from?"

Buffy looked up from her meal (Jacen, it turns out, was a pretty good cook) and looked to the young boy sitting across from her.

"From a long ways away. But more recently, I've been living on Coruscant."

"And you're a Jedi?"

"That's right."

Han looked over the blonde Jedi for a moment. "Is your name really Buffy?"

Buffy couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, technically it's Elizabeth," she replied. "But everybody calls me Buffy."

"I heard Jedi are supposed to be, like, super-soldiers. Is that true?" he asked. Buffy chuckled.

"We prefer to consider ourselves more as peacekeepers than soldiers," she chided gently. Jacen scoffed and shook his head.

"Please," he said with an air of dismissal in his voice. "Hokey religions and ancient weapons aren't a match for a good blaster by your side. You just remember that, Han, and you'll be fine."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, cause that blaster worked so well for you."

"It malfunctioned," Jacen said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, then passed a sly look over the man as he finished off his drink. "So, does your 'weapon' malfunction often, then?"

Jacen choked on his wine, nearly spraying the table. "Never happened before. Not going to happen again," he replied, doing his best to hide his embarrassment from his son. Buffy smirked and took a sip of her wine. Han, meanwhile, just looked back and forth between the two adults.

"Are you two talking about sex?" he asked, causing Buffy to spray her wine over her plate. Jacen looked at his son, thunderstruck.

"What, exactly, are they teaching you in that school of yours?"

The first few months on Corellia were particularly hard for me. Mostly, it was due to Jacen. I hadn't met anyone like him since Angel - handsome, in an annoying type of way. He found a way to get on my nerves at every and any given opportunity, but at the same time he proved himself to be an effective tactician and able leader.

My other problem was keeping up with my meditations and training. The Corellians weren't particularly fond of the Jedi - they felt that the Jedi thought that they were beneath them, not worthy of their attention. As Jacen told me one night after a mission - given the fact that the Jedi considered themselves peacekeepers they had been conspicuously absent from Corellia during their many recent conflicts.

Couldn't say I blamed them, as they had a point.

Still, I slowly earned their respect. During my first year there, I went on several raiding missions with Jacen and his team. Droid factories, shipyards, intelligence centers- anyplace we could hit to put a dent in the separatist war machine, we hit. I found myself grateful for all of the training Giles had instilled on me back in my Slayer days - all that stealthy stuff really came in handy. And slowly the rest of the resistance fighters came to respect, if not accept, my Jedi abilities. Soren, one of Jacen's running buddies, was a bit of a mechanical wiz, and even managed to build me a remote training droid to keep up my lightsaber skills. Han got a kick out of watching me practice…

After a year there, though, I found myself conflicted. When I was on missions, I couldn't really act like a Jedi - to advertise a Jedi's presence there would bring the wrath of the Separatists fully down upon the innocents. I found myself reverting more and more to my 'Slayer side', as I called it. While I tried to follow the Jedi teachings that had been drilled into me by Master Windu over the past ten years when I was off mission, on mission I let it all go.

As a Slayer, I always found strength in my emotions, in my attachments. I wouldn't have survived as long as I did without my friends, my family, and the people I loved. Now I've never told anybody this, Mom, not Master Windu, not even Anakin. Ever since I began to feel the Force, I've felt the call of the Dark Side. I've felt the temptation to use that power. But I never touched it - I've seen what can happen when a Slayer goes dark; I had no desire to repeat that. And I think it was my unique insight into that Darkness that allowed me to totally resist its call. But that's why most Jedi aren't allowed to form attachments; to know love. That's the reason we haven't been to visit since we rescued you- those kind of attachments could, eventually, lead to the Dark Side. Master Windu wasn't entirely pleased about our reconnecting with you, though he understood why we did. But when I was out on a mission, I allowed myself to tap into that emotion once more, to become the Slayer.

Of course tapping into those emotions ended up opening a whole new can of worms…

"Hey, Buffy - come here!"

"We're on a mission, Soren."

"Come on, you got to see this!"

Buffy sighed, resigned to dealing with the hyperactive genius. Jacen's team - which consisted of Jacen, herself, Soren and Darcen had infiltrated one of the public storage hangars that had serviced private freighters during peacetime in hopes of hacking into the Separatist's intelligence files, which could only be accessed through certain secured terminals throughout the occupied territories. Right now they were in. The hanger had been shut down by the Corellian Engineering Corporation shortly before the war and turned into a permanent storage facility to house inactive ships and prototypes. But it was still hooked up to their network and therefore an extremely valuable resource for the Rebels.

Buffy silently made her way over to where the younger man had hidden himself behind some storage crates. "What?"

Soren smiled and nodded his head towards the far end of the hanger, where a starship sat on its own. It was a sleek design - a saucer, the front drawn out into two prongs; its rear taken up by engines. The cockpit was offset to the right side, instead of the standard place up front. Buffy whistled quietly.

"Nice. What is it?"

"Your competition," Soren replied. Buffy sputtered.

"W-what are you talking about?" she demanded. "Competition for what?"

"That right there is Jacen's other baby," Soren said simply. "The Millennium Falcon. YT-1300 freighter. Jacen's been working on her for the past year. Claims she's the fastest ship in the quadrant."

"I got her up to point two past lightspeed," Jacen whispered as he came up behind them, Darcen in tow. "Come on Liza - we got what we need; let's get out of here."

The four quickly made their way back out into the deserted streets and past the two droid guards that never detected their presence. Jacen handed the holodisk over to Soren for analysis and then he and Buffy parted ways, heading for home.

They walked in silence for a time, doing their best to act like a young couple in love to avoid arousing the suspicions of the occasional guards that roamed the streets.

"So, how long were you working on the Falcon?" she asked as they walked back to his apartment.

"Two years," he replied. "It's kind of a surprise for Han, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything. I was planning on taking him with me on my next run - kind of like a bonding deal, you see."

Buffy smiled. "That sounds nice." Jacen chuckled ruefully.

"I wasn't always the best dad," he explained. "I took the death of his mother hard and at times Han suffered for it. It was going to be my way of showing him how much I care about him."

There was another pause before Buffy finally got up the courage to ask. "Why did Soren call it my 'competition'?"

"Yeah - well, some of the guys are under the impression that we're…" he trailed off, but Buffy saw where he was going. She felt her body tense for the same arguments she had been fighting since she'd first met Angel, but found that the resistance had been aided by something that sounded a lot like Obi-Wan's voice in the back of her head.

"That's ridiculous," Buffy said defiantly, but something inside of her belied these words. "I'm a Jedi, for cryin' out loud. Those kinds of attachments are forbidden." She glanced away, unable to look at him. "Aren't they?"

Jacen sighed. "You're not exactly the typical Jedi, though… are you?" he asked. At her stricken look, he pressed on. "Look, Liza. I've seen the way you look at me sometimes. And if it makes it easier for you, I've been looking at you that way too…"

"Jacen-"

"Han already loves you…"

"Jacen, stop…please…" She was begging now. The dull ache deep within itself was burning brighter than any Corellian star. It almost hurt to breathe…

"Damn it Liza! I haven't felt like this about anyone since Jaina died!" he continued quietly. He stopped suddenly and reached for her. He felt her tremble as she glanced up at him. She forced herself to look away, but his hand reached out to touch her chin, tipping her gaze back to his. She had never seen his eyes so intense… "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"I can't do this, Jacen," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks, dripping from her chin. His thumbs gently pushed the tears from her face, his gaze strong and steady. "Don't ask me to do this."

"Because you're a Jedi."

"Because I'm a Jedi, yes," Buffy said, swallowing hard and glancing away. She pushed his hand from her and crossed her arms, struggling to control her emotions. What was wrong with her?

"And because every person you've ever loved has left you," Jacen finished. Buffy lowered her head, and Jacen ran his hand through his hair. "Look Liza…Buffy…I know you haven't had an easy life. And I'm not making it any easier on you with this. But I love you, Jedi or not. This past year with you… I've never felt more alive. And I'm not willing to drop this, because of a code you happen to follow on occasion. Or because of fear, Liza."

Buffy glanced at him, the ache now pounding in her ears. She longed to reach out and accept his open arms but at the same time, both her Code and her past pains came back to her. As he reached out and gently touched her face, she stared at him with haunted eyes.

"You are the bravest person I've ever met and that's saying something. You've faced horrors that I can't even begin to imagine. All I'm asking is for you to give us a chance. Please."

Buffy looked at Jacen, unable to speak or even think. "I-" she started, backing away from him. "I… got to go… I've got to go think…" With that, she turned and bolted away, leaving Jacen sad and alone.

"Take all the time you need, Liza," he whispered. "I ain't going nowhere."

Jacen's admission had shaken me up. A lot. Because, no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I was in love with him, too. And there had been times, while I had been meditating, when I'd see flashes of us, together. Of a child, with my blond hair and his blue eyes… but I thought those were just day dreams. School-girl fantasies that had no place in the mind of a Jedi.

But as I was walking, I began to ask myself if I was a true Jedi anymore. I mean, I still believed in the teachings and I still believed in using the Force for the good of all people. But I wasn't at the temple anymore. I wasn't in contact with the rest of the Jedi - for all I knew, they thought I was dead. And for all I knew, I would be stuck on this planet for the rest of my life. Then I started asking myself a question I hadn't though of in years - when have I served mankind enough for me to settle down and have my own life? When have I given enough? I was a Slayer, a Jedi, a big sister…when would I get the chance to be a wife? A mother…

Master Yoda had always gone on about 'The Will of the Force'. About how the Force controlled our destinies. I thought back to my dreams of Jacen and me, of the baby and wondered if maybe the Force was trying to tell me that I wasn't needed anymore. That my time had come and I could enjoy my reward for all of the sacrifices I had made. I spent hours sitting in the small park near Jacen's apartment thinking about it. After a surprisingly short while, I made my decision.

Buffy walked into the Solo apartment and quietly closed the door. She turned to see Jacen sitting in his favorite chair facing the door.

"Hey," he said, rising from the chair. With three quick strides, Buffy crossed the room and grabbed his shirt, pulling him into her and pressing her lips into his in a searing kiss. After a few moments, she pulled away. "Liza?" he asked, astounded blue eyes meeting hazel.

"I'm tired, Jacen," she said with a small smile. "All my life, I've put the wants and needs of everybody else in front of mine. And I'm tired. I don't want to be a Slayer anymore. I don't want to be a Jedi."

"Then what do you want?" he asked. Buffy smiled.

"I want a family. I want a husband, I want children," she looked into his eyes. "I want you." Damn it all to heck if she was going to start crying again.

Jacen smiled, but it quickly slipped away. "What about the Council? What will they say?"

"I've recorded a message to the Council. Told them I was resigning. As soon as the communications blackout falls, I'll send it. But for all intents and purposes, I'm no longer a Jedi." She took a deep breath, the freedom of it all coming onto her shoulders. "I chose me… and you and Han."

Jacen's smile returned in full force. "So, what do you want to do now?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch her.

She closed the distance between him, her hands bringing his face to hers. Her lips were teasing as they brushed to his. His arms moved down her back as her body arched into his. It felt so incredible to be here, in this moment, at this time… it was the most beautiful moment she had seen in a long time and there was no way in hell she was going to let it go. Pulling away to catch her breath, she felt him raining kisses down her throat. Her hands slowly moved to slip beneath his shirt as she pulled him closer.

Her hands moved over his skin, taking in every last inch. The ache deep within her broke and she moved to kiss him again. His hands caressed her bare skin and she moaned into the embrace.

It had been a long time since she'd felt beautiful and loved and wanted… after many years of feeling like a tool, an object and a peace officer, she finally was able to feel again.

We made love for the first time that night. The next morning, Jacen proposed to me. He said he wanted to wait to actually get married until the war was over so all of our friends and families could come to the wedding. I had no problem with that - I wanted you and Ani there with me. Even though he is a Jedi, he's still my brother. We also talked things over with Han, to make sure he was okay with us getting married. Far from upset, he was happier than I had ever seen him. Of course, part of that was due to him winning the betting pool on when his father and I would finally get together.

That was a little annoying.

Turns out that making love wasn't the only thing we made that night, because six weeks later I learned that I was pregnant. To be honest, learning that I was pregnant scared me. Even though I considered Han my son, I really wanted a child of my own. But at the same time, I was scared that I wouldn't make a good mother. I was also scared that I wouldn't be able to help out Jacen's crew while I was pregnant. Well, while I wasn't allowed to participate in missions anymore, I was given the job of planning several raids over the course of my pregnancy. Turns out I can be a pretty good tactician when I put my mind to it.

And then my little girl was born…

Jacen leaned against the wall outside the door to Buffy room in the DC medical center, his arm encased in a shiny new cast lined with Bacta strips. Han, flanked by Soren and Darcen, ran down the hall to him.

"Is it here?" Han gasped as he came to a stop. "Is Mom okay?"

"What happened to your hand?" Darcen asked. Jacen winced as he gazed down at his hand… he had yet to feel his hand…

"I held Liza's hand during labor. And I still can't feel a whole lot yet." Soren and Darcen winced knowingly and Jacen looked down at his son. "Liza's fine, Han. She's waiting for us. Come on," he added nodding his head at the door "Lets go see them."

The four men entered the room and saw Buffy laying down on the bed, her hair and forehead still damp with sweat, cradling a tiny bundle in her arms. She smiled at her fiancé and her friends, and then looked down to Han.

"Hey, kid. You want to say hi to your sister?" At Han's eager nod, Buffy chuckled softly. "Well then, come here!"

Han made his way over to Buffy's bed, and then cautiously took the small baby in his arms, automatically cradling her close to his own small body and propping her head up.

"Han, this is your sister - Joyce." She looked up at Jacen, her eyes shining. "Joyce Jaina Solo."

She was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Han loved her from the moment he laid eyes on her - he told me once that he would always be there to protect her. And Jacen - Jacen was wonderful. Even in a detention camp with limited supplies he still managed to find everything and anything Joyce needed, he and the guys would find. Diapers, formula, a crib…anything she needed. And for the first time in my life, I had a family of my own. It was the happiest five months of my life…

And then one morning, I woke up…

Buffy was in heaven.

She moaned pleasantly as strong arms gently wrapped around her slender body as she lay almost-sleeping in their small apartment in Internment Camp 13.

Their apartment.

Buffy never could have foreseen what her life had become over the past two years. Her time actively involved in the war on a large scale had been limited. She had worked with her brother and Obi-Wan on several early missions, fighting back the Separatist forces. She had traveled with Masters Yoda and Windu all over the Core, fortifying positions and building allies. She had especially liked her time with the Wookies. For such large, imposing creatures, they really were giant teddy bears.

It was in the second year of the war that she got her first solo assignment - travel to Corellia, one of the few Core worlds to have fallen in the initial attacks, gather intel, and report back to the Council. It was an easy, in-and-out assignment, with extraction due to take place a mere month after she had landed.

Of course, that was when the Separatists launched full-blown attacks that had put Corellia deep behind enemy lines, and extraction had then proven impossible. So Buffy had moved onto plan 'B'- aid the resistance. And in aiding the resistance, she had met the man who had stolen her heart - Jacen Solo. Rugged, roguish, a daredevil and a hell of a pilot, Jacen was a widower and father of an eleven year old boy named Han. He was the leader of the local group of resistance fighters and, while he was happy for the help Buffy had offered, he wasn't impressed by her status as a Jedi. For this, Buffy was grateful. She had to deal with enough people who practically worshipped her because of what she could do with a lightsaber, and was glad that Jacen seemed to genuinely appreciate her for herself and not her powers.

Over the two years she had been trapped on Corellia, she and Jacen had rapidly fallen in love. It wasn't something she took lightly - her commitment to the Jedi Order expressly forbid her from loving him. And yet she had felt her feelings for the Rebel leader grow deeper, until one day she was forced to make a choice - the Jedi or Jacen. And after what seemed to be two lifetimes of being forced to live for her commitment to her calling, she had decided that, this time, she was due a little happiness. After all, she had seen what duty could do to destroy people. Shortly thereafter, the two were engaged, to be married as soon as Corellia was freed. Buffy had sent her resignation to the Council along with her regular status report hoping, as always, that it made it through the jamming.

Nine months later, their first daughter Joyce was born.

It was two months after that glorious day that Buffy found herself sighing in content as the familiar figure of her fiancé snuggled up behind her and nuzzled her neck.

"Time to wake up, Liza," Jacen said softly, using the nickname he had given her after they had started working together. As Buffy moaned reluctantly, he chuckled. "Come on. We both got jobs to do today."

Buffy shifted in the bed so she was facing him. "What, you're letting me out today?" she teased. "What about Joyce?"

"Han's going to watch her today. Take her to the park. Don't worry," he said off of her look, "they'll be safe. The Separatists haven't attacked a camp in months, despite what we've been able to do."

Buffy grinned. "But if I stay in bed today, I might convince you to stay in bed…think of the possibilities…"

This time it was Jacen's turn to chuckle. "As inviting as that sounds - and believe me, it does - I'm meeting with the other heads of the resistance. We're planning a massive counterstrike to cripple their communications."

"And me?"

"And you get to check out the clearing about three clicks southwest of the camp. Intel said some kind of vessel touched down there last night - might be some kind of droid spy ship."

"And they want someone stealthy to check it out?" Buffy surmised and Jacen nodded.

"Exactly. And here's some news I got earlier today - the Republic has the Separatists on the run. I give it a few more weeks before your back-up finally gets here. And then," he wrapped his arms around the blonde, "you will officially become Mrs. Buffy Solo; and we'll take Han and Joyce out in our ship for a nice, long vacation."

Buffy giggled. "Yeah, I can't wait to finally break that ship in. Especially the stateroom…" Her giggles dissolved as he tightened his grasp on her. Two slim arms reached up to stretch over his neck. The two spent a few more precious minutes on the bed, just kissing and holding one another, before they finally pulled apart.

"But that will be then. For now, I guess it's time I brought out my old clothes."

And then she couldn't speak anymore.

Buffy was silent for several minutes and Shmi's heart went out to her surrogate daughter; she would do anything to take Buffy's pain away from her, to make her feel whole once more. But she knew she couldn't do it. She knew what it was like to lose a child. And she knew that, unlike her, Buffy would never get her children back. But the one thing she could do was listen and support her daughter considering her life had been thrown in three hundred sixty degrees twice in the nearly as many years.

Buffy sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "That day, Obi-Wan and Anakin came. The Seps attacked the camp and my family was wiped out. We managed to escape in the Falcon though I nearly ran it into a Sep cruiser. And that was my two and a half years on Corellia in a nutshell."

"And now?" Shmi asked. "How are you now, Buffy?"

Buffy smiled. "It took a few weeks but I'm fine now. At peace. I accept that they're gone; but I know I'll see them again one day. And in the meantime, they let me back into the Order - as a Master, no less. And that's a duty I will take seriously and fulfill to the best of my ability." She decided against telling why she was taking her duties so seriously, but with her brother's erratic behavior and the Supreme Chancellor's request for power, she felt she was exactly where she was needed.

"And after the war, Buffy? What then?"

Buffy considered the question for a moment. "I can feel that the war is almost over, Mom. When it is and everything settles down, I'll get Anakin and we'll come and see you. I think we could both use some downtime." She stifled a yawn. "But in the meantime, it's getting late and I still need to meditate."

"All right, sweet girl. I won't keep you anymore. Get some rest and take care of yourself."

"Goodnight, Mom," Buffy said, reaching over to sever the connection. "Hopefully, I'll see you soon." And with a click the connection was severed and Buffy was alone once more.

Buffy sat on the small round couch in the corner of her room that she used for meditating. Her legs were crossed beneath her, her arms rested in her lap and her eyes were closed as she reached into the Force to calm her mind…

FLASH

Anakin was fighting a strange, pale woman with twin crimson lightsabers on a distant planet. The planet's giant red moon was visible over the ruins as the woman disarmed Anakin and then brought her twin blades down at her brother…

Anakin caught the woman's hands, stopping the blades decent. Using his mechanical hand, he squeezed her wrist until she yelled in pain and dropped the saber - which Anakin calmly floated into his opposite hand -

Then, his eyes filled with rage, he attacked…

FLASH

Buffy saw Anakin walking in a darkened corridor. Everything ws pitch black - the corridor, the man he was walking with, even Anakin seemed to be steeped in shadows, as if the Dark Side was trying its hardest to prevent her from seeing this -

But the power of the Dark Side was nothing compared to the stubbornness of a Summers' woman.

"They don't trust you, Anakin," the dark figure said to Anakin. "They see your future. They know your power will be too strong to control. Anakin, you must break through the fog of lies the Jedi have created around you. Let me help you to know the subtleties of the Force."

Anakin looked at the dark figure suspiciously. "How do you know the ways of the Force?"

"My mentor taught me everything about the Force…" the man continued in a friendly tone, "even the nature of the dark side."

"You know the dark side?" Anakin asked incredulously.

"Anakin, if one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi," the man continued slowly. "If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the Force. Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin." He paused, and though she couldn't see his face, Buffy felt the man look at Anakin as if he was looking directly into his soul. "They fear you. In time they will destroy you. Let me train you."

"I won't be a pawn in your political game," Anakin said somewhat defiantly. "The Jedi are my family."

"Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the dark side of the Force, Anakin, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death."

What did he say?

"What did you say?" Anakin asked, suddenly fearful.

"Use my knowledge, I beg you . . ."

"You're a Sith Lord!" Anakin exclaimed as he ignited his lightsaber. The blue glow of his blade couldn't penetrate the darkness around the other figure.

"I know what has been troubling you," the man continued. "Listen to me. Don't continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council! Ever since I've known you, you've been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi . . . a life of significance, of conscience."

Don't listen to him, Ani.

"You're wrong!"

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked Anakin. The Jedi's reply was pained, yet steady.

"I would certainly like to."

"I know you would," the man said. She could practically sense the gloating smile on the dark figure's masked features. "I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger."

Anakin raised his lightsaber to the man's throat, then slowly lowered it, deactivating the blade.

"I am going to turn you over to the Jedi Council," he said finally, an air of defeat surrounding him. The man nodded.

"Of course you should. But you're not sure of their intentions, are you? What if I am right and they are plotting to take over the Republic?"

WHAT? Ani, you can't be buying this crap!

"I will quickly discover the truth of all this," Anakin replied steadily. The man nodded once more.

"You have great wisdom, Anakin," the man said. "Know the power of the dark side… the power to save Padmé."

FLASH

Buffy's eyes snapped open and a gasp escaped her lips. She struggled to catch her breath, her heart pounding madly.

Anakin and Padmé are married? Something was starting to fall together, but at the same time it felt as though it were breaking apart. Someone was trying to turn Ani to the Dark Side…

"Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean-jan..."

A/N: By now, you all know I thrown in a little 'Ancient Corellian' (also known as Chinese) as a kind of tip of the hat to Firefly. But, as on the show (and movie), I haven't translated any of it. For the most part, the phrases Buffy and Anakin say will be found at this site: http/fireflychinese.home(google search the name to find the site). So, if you like to learn exactly how colorful Buffy and Anakin can be, check it out. Dŏng ma?

Also, a big thanks goes out to my betas Winterd and Fallenstar2 for their help and patience. And special thanks goes out to Fallenstar2, who helped spruce up this chapter in key ares- namley the romance.

No gaurantees on updates from now on- I'll try either weekly or bi-weekly- but work is seriously kicking my ass right now.