(OMG SORRY! I POSTED THIS STUPID THING AT MY DAD'S HOUSE AND IT SCREWED UP AND SQUISHED IT UP INTO ONE PARAGRAPH! SO I FIXED IT!)
Hello, everyone! Welcome to my first One Piece story (I think...hmm...I can't remember -sweatdrop-)! It's a little...erm...wacky, because I started it and put it off and now I just finished it at...-checks clock- 3:56! A.M.!
Anyway, the fic is pretty self-explanitory, basically just being a plotless bash on the crappy for-7-year-old version of the anime. Hope you like!
Summary: The One Piece crew seems to be discovering the wierd world of 4Kids Entertainment that they live in. How odd... ONE-SHOT!
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Shi-grlah-shoot!
"Oni-" Zoro lunged foreward, swords at the ready. "GIRI!"
The man fell off the boat, into the water. Zoro snorted. "Only 200 men? Pathetic." He flicked his swords to get the blood off, more out of habit rather than need - there never seemed to be any blood on the blades anymore. How odd...
But Zoro's thoughts were cut off as a hidden marine lunged at him, catching him off guard. Zoro dodged just in the nick of time.
"Whoah!" He stumbled back none too gracefully, but knocked the last remaining marine off the ship nevertheless.
"Gah! I thought there weren't any more! Shi-grlah-shoot!"
Whoah, what the hell was that?
Zoro blinked in surprise at what had just come out of his mouth. The other crew members stared at him strangely. He had meant to say shit, but 'shoot' had oddly lept out of his mouth before anything else. Feeling a little wierd, he tried again. "Shi-grlah-shoot."
Now the others, as well as him, were weirded out. Usopp commented, finally: "Ne, Zoro, what was that?"
Zoro didn't actually know himself. "I dunno. I tried to cuss, but something else slipped out."
Sanji snorted disdainfully. "What an idiot. Can't even cuss right."
"Grr...basta-grlah-meanie. GAH!" Now he was freaked out. "Sanji, try to cuss. Anything. Just...do it!"
"Whatever, marimo-head son of a bit-grlah-female dog. YAAAAHHH!" Sanji paled. Zoro smirked. At least he wasn't the only one...
"Whoah! What's going on?" Asked Nami. When the two most manly, hot guys in the crew couldn't cuss, you knew you had a problem.
Embarassed, Sanji said "Try it. It's really wierd. It's like it forces itself out of your mouth."
"O...K..., I guess. As-grlah-fanny. Kyaaa! What the hel-grlah-heck was that? AAHHHH!"
Luffy, confused, thought he would try. "OK! My turn! Cra-grlah-crud. YAAAAA!" He ran in circles, panicking.
"You all are too weak to cuss. Let the Great Captain Usopp try! Dam-grlah-darn! Kyaaaaaa!" Usopp fainted.
"Dam-grlah-darn it, this is weird! I need a smoke!" Sanji reached in his pocket for his pack of handy-dandy cancer sticks-er, cigarettes, but all he could find was a crappy red lollipop! "Oi, where are all my cigarettes?"
Suddenly, a girl appeared on the deck. Everyone looked over at her - well, except Usopp, who had fainted, Luffy, still running in circles, and Sanji, who was freaking out big time - "WHERE THE HEL-GRLAG-HECK ARE MY FUC-GRLAH-FREAKING CIGARETTES!"
Zoro stared at the girl, dumbfounded. "KUINA?" "Yep, that's me!" She held out her hand. "I was just wondering why the heck you took my sword! It's not like I died by falling down the stairs or something...that would be too dramatic and stressful for people under the age of 14."
"But-but Sensei said...that you'd never be able to fight again because of your arm injury!" Zoro stuttered. (A/N How the hell was her getting beat up by a bunch of creepy child molester people more 'suitable for young children' than falling down the stairs?)
"Well, DUH! Did anyone ever stop to think that I could just fight with my OTHER hand?"
Zoro blinked. And blinked again. "Ohhhhh..."
He saw no flaw in this way of thinking, and handed her back her sword.
"Thanks, Zoro! You'll have to come challenge me once I'm anphibious(1)!" And she suddenly vanished, though Zoro was sure he could hear a muttered "Maybe I'll have to practice with Yutaro in Germany(2) sometime..."
And as freaky a life as they normally lived (Ooh, a zebra! Let's eat it!), the Strawhats somehow felt that their lives had become just a little bit stranger...
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Eh, well, now it's 4:11. I had to proofread and my computer is damn slow. Anyway, about the notes...
(1) - Umm, an inside joke. Some random dumbass basketball player was being interviewed about a shot with his left hand, and instead of saying ambidextrous, he said 'amphibious.' Loser.
(2) An instant-bake Betty Crocker just-add-water-and-microwave brownie is waiting for whoever can tell me what anime this is from! -winks- It's got fudgy icing!
A NOTE TO KIND REVIEWERS: Thanks so much (in advance) for reviewing! I know I personally am a horrible citizen who never reviews, but it brightens up my entire day (and my days are pretty damn dark) when someone reviews! So pleeease take two minutes out of your lives to make mine better! (wow I sound like I'm from the government)
A NOTE TO PEOPLE WHO WANT A SEQUAL: Haha who am I kidding. But if you do...then review and tell me! I started this fic before I had read the manga up to Chopper and Robin yet, and I was too lazy to write them into the fic. However, I might be willing to make another chappie...I bet I can find SOME stuff to bash! -winks again-
A NOTE TO RETARDS-ER, FLAMERS: You know, I've considered flaming a lot of crappy fics in my day, but before I clicked the button, I thought about how the other person would feel (oh great now I sound like I'm with the educational system). But really, have you ever considered how the writer will feel after you flame them? They put a lot of effort into that -crappy- fanfiction, and probably tried their best, and a flame isn't gonna make them any better. In fact, it might even discourage them from writing anymore. And even though that might be for the general public's good, it's still bad. I mean, who's gonna make me look good? The even crappier writers, of course! -winks again; my eye is starting to hurt-
Well, I guess that's enough ranting for this fic...geez, I like writing the A/N's more than the actual story! -looks around- Hey, where'd all my readers go?
-shrugs and eats brownie- ...it's 4:23 now! -goes to hospital to fix broken eye from winking so much-