Thanks again everybody who has read and reviewed. This chapter is a long one – enjoy!
I do not own ER, or any of the characters. I also don't own the Foreigner song that is referred to in this chapter. But it is a really good song….
Chap. 6
Ray must have fallen asleep too, because he woke up with his arm resting on Neela's stomach and her head was in his lap. Since he inevitably woke up ready for action, this proved a little uncomfortable. He didn't really want to move but he didn't want to embarrass himself if she woke up either. He gently lifted her head up and put a pillow under it and he headed for the bathroom and a really cold shower. He seemed to be taking a lot of those lately. Probably due to his vow to never relive the "Rebecca" incident. And living in the same apartment with a really hot girl. Who he just happened to be in love with and who was just getting over her dead husband. Talk about complicated.
He came out of the bathroom in a towel to find Neela was up. Since he had hurried into the shower, he had neglected to bring a change of clothes. "Sorry, forgot my clothes." He edged toward his room. Thankfully, the cold shower had done its job.
Neela was speechless. Jesus, please not the towel again. Is God trying to punish me? I am still having dreams about the last time I saw him in one. I certainly do not need updated information. Once again, do not look anywhere but his eyes, don't look down, don't look down. STOP IT! Okay, stare at his arms, not his chest. Really, really bad idea - the tattoo will just give you new ideas. God that tattoo must have hurt, but speaking from a purely artistic point of view, it was worth whatever pain he felt, because it sure looks hot. STOP IT! Keep repeating, you are just friends, you are just friends. That is all either of you want. Remember, you bloody idiot. You have made your choice. And it is just starting to work again between you two, but that will be blown all to hell if you don't stop thinking about how cute his ass looks walking away from you. Look up! Oh God, another tattoo…. Neela silently groaned and headed off to her room to change for work.
A couple of weeks later, Tony was in the ER and called up to surgery to ask Neela to meet him for dinner. Since talking to him the first time had made her feel better, she figured if he wanted to be her therapist, it worked for her. As long as he knew what she needed from him and was okay with just that, she would have dinner with him.
Not 5 minutes later Ray stopped by the surgical floor to ask Neela if she wanted to come to his gig that night. Needless to say, he was not in a good mood after hearing she was going out with the intrusive Tony Gates again. Shit. He thought. What is it with that guy. He is like a dog in heat.
Crap, Neela thought. I would have liked to go to Ray's gig. Okay, let's think about this. Is that such a good idea, anyway? A little wine, then a little tequila (never a good idea), then a very hot roommate in a sleeveless t-shirt, showing off those tattoos. REALLY NOT A GOOD IDEA, GIRLFRIEND! Go with safe. Go with Tony. I am sure Ray will not end up alone. He never does. Although, I have to admit, I have not seen him with anyone since the hated Rebecca. Don't read anything into that one…..
When Ray got home from work Neela was already dressed to go out. She was wearing a short black dress that clung to her curves, and black sandals. He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it. All the blood in his body left his upper extremities and headed south. Jesus, I wish she was going out with me. I will kill him if he hurts her. And oh, yeah, Gates, don't even think about putting your hands on her. Not if you want them to remain attached to your body. "Hey Neela, you look great." Very cool, Barnett. Just the friendly roommate, wishing his good friend a nice evening out. As long as that evening doesn't include any physical contact whatsoever. "Have fun." Okay, you pulled that off now leave the room before you say something stupid. Too late. "So, um, are you dating Gates, now, or something?" Okay, you really need to stop talking, you idiot.
"What are you…..my father?" Neela teased. "We are just having dinner to talk some more. Since we are on the subject, I haven't noticed you coming home encumbered lately…..hit a dry spell?" Okay, that was just mean.
Actually, I am unencumbered because I am in love with you, my gorgeous, sexy, smells-of strawberry-haired, life-changing roommate. Yeah, I have it so bad I have put myself off the market for you, babe. "Tonight might be the night, you never know." NOT!
Neela met Tony at the restaurant and they talked about Gallant and Tony told her more about how his friend had died. They talked about the ER and ride a-longs and everything in-between. She even told him how she had fought with Michael about going back. Tony was very easy to talk to. He inevitably brought the conversation around to the two of them and the future. Neela was not so ready for this topic.
"So, Neela, we get along, we have a lot in common, will go out with me on a real date, now? You know, with dinner and maybe a kiss goodnight at the end?"
Neela laughed nervously. "It's been less than 4 months, Tony. I don't want to get involved again yet."
"Who's getting involved? I just want to have some fun. You know, you, me, on a beach, smearing sunscreen all over each other."
"While that does sound appealing," Neela said sarcastically, "I don't think so. I don't think I will ever be found on a beach smearing sunscreen on you. Nice try though."
"Okay, then how 'bout dinner next week. A real date. Maybe even a movie. And I do expect a goodnight kiss."
"I'll get back to you on that one. Can we go home now? I am kind of talked out."
"Sure."
They left the restaurant and headed back to the apartment. To his credit, Tony did not try to kiss Neela goodnight but she could tell he was waiting for her to ask him in. She didn't. She thought afterward, Why didn't I ask him in for a glass of wine? He's a nice, good-looking guy who likes me. Ray won't be home for hours. Okay, why do I care if Ray knows that I had Tony in the apartment? What is wrong with me? Do I care what Ray thinks about my love life? Do I care about Ray as more than a friend? No….it's just lust, right? Do I love Ray? Oh God I hope not. I need music. Music that totally rocks. I want to dance. Neela slipped off her sandals and looked through her cds. She chose Foreigner's Greatest Hits. Perfect for her mood. She turned up the volume to shut off her mind. Her favorite song came on and she sung along loudly. She actually could carry a tune quite well, a fact she had not yet revealed to her roommate. Neela loved to sing, just not in front of people.
Ray walked in the door to see his roommate rocking out to:
Hot blooded
Check it and see
I got a fever of
A hundred and three
C'mon baby
Do you do more than dance
I'm hot blooded
Hot blooded
It's up to you
We could make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you
I'm sure you'd love it like you never knew
Ray was struck dumb. All he could do was stare. His body reacted to both the sight of her dancing and the thought God, I wish she was singing that to me. And then he thought Shit, I hope she isn't thinking of that asshole Gates.
Neela came over laughing, caught his hand and said "Dance with me Ray, I love this song." She started singing again, pretending her hand was a microphone. Then she shoved it in front of his face and laughing, he sang too.
Hot blooded
Check it and see
I got a fever burning
Inside of me
C'mon baby
Do you do more than dance
I'm hot blooded
Hot blooded
He couldn't resist this side of her. Jesus she is so beautiful. All flushed and her hair all messed up. They danced until they were both exhausted and fell on the couch. "Foreigner? I never knew you were a closet oldies hard rock fan."
"There's a lot you don't know about me. You know, Ray, if you sang 'Hot Blooded' at one of your gigs, you would never come home alone." She grinned at him.
He threw caution to the wind and said, "What makes you think I don't come home alone by choice?"
"Oh, please, Ray, you have never in your life left a gig alone by choice." I think this conversation is getting too serious and hitting too close to the mark. I don't want him to think that I care if he comes home alone or not. Wait, do I care? Why?
"I did tonight." Okay, leave it alone, Barnett. Don't scare her off. Go to bed. Ray, of course, paid no attention to his inner conscience. "How was your date?" SHUT UP, you idiot!
Neela thought. Okay, what in the bloody hell just happened? Did he just tell me he was offered an opportunity and didn't take it? Or was that just wishful thinking on my part? And why is he asking me about my "date"? "I told you it wasn't a date, Ray. I just like to talk to somebody who knows what I am feeling."
"You could talk to me."
He sounds hurt. She decided to be honest with him. "You are too close, Ray. I need to know I can say whatever I feel without wondering what the other person is thinking. I can't do that with you." Okay, you really need to stop this, now. You are getting too close to saying something you can't take back.
"Why not?" You can tell me anything.
"I just can't, Ray." I can't tell you that I was regretting marrying Michael and that I was confused about my feelings for you. I can't tell you those things. Even Tony only knows I was having doubts about being married and that I feel guilty about that now. He doesn't know about you.
When Ray looked at her he saw unshed tears in her eyes. Nice going, Barnett. You made her cry. You couldn't just leave it alone. You had to push her. "I'm sorry, Neela." He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her but he knew that was the wrong thing to do.
"Goodnite, Ray." She got up and left him alone with his thoughts.
Author's Note: Sorry it was so long! It just started writing itself and got me to this place.