Chloe had no warmer a reception for Beca when she had arrived the next day, but Beca chose to chalk up to the fact the Chloe had been up almost all night with Emma. Chloe had half-heartedly handed a shopping list to Beca at Chicago's prompting, seeming less than enthused at the idea that Beca would be back after taking Chicago to the airport.
"She'll warm to me eventually." Beca grinned as she could see the concern in every line of Chicago as they drove, "Everyone does."
"That's true." Chicago chuckled, turning his head to look at Beca rather than out of the passenger side window, "It's going to be weird without you out there Mitchell."
"Yeah, well, it's not my choice is it?" Beca's hands tightened a little around the wheel as her jaw clenched.
"It was the right call Becs." Chicago smiled softly, "You weren't the same when we found you."
"Of course I wasn't!" Beca snapped, wincing as she did, "Sorry… I just- that's my squad y'know? And you're going back out there without me, and I can't help you if you run into trouble."
"You can help me Beca. That's what you're doing by looking after Chloe and Emma for me whilst I'm away."
"I guess." Beca sighed, "You'll be careful out there, right? I don't want to have to be telling your kid in five years what a great guy you were, you should be telling her yourself."
"I'll be careful." Chicago nodded, "Scouts honour."
Beca had arrived at the store the minute doors opened for the day after waving Chicago off. It had been rough at the airport, several members of the platoon flying out from New York and delighted to see Beca even if she wasn't joining them. It had been especially hard to see Stacie Conrad, arguably her next closest friend after Chicago and the only person who knew exactly what she'd been through on her last tour get to go with their platoon.
"I still can't believe you get to go back whilst they stuck me with an honourable discharge." Beca sighed, hands in her pockets as Stacie smiled softly at her.
"You had it way worse than I did shortstack." Stacie put her arm around Beca's shoulders, "And if it makes you feel better, I'm out after this one. A quiet life for me, suburbs, picket fences, the whole package."
Beca snorted, shaking her head a little, "Yeah right, you a soccer mom?! You'll be bored to tears."
Stacie laughed, punching Beca's shoulder affectionately, "You'll see Mitchell, I'll be making the healthy snacks for the PTA meetings by this time next year!"
Beca took her time at the store, making sure that she had gotten everything on Chloe's list. It was perhaps far more attention than she needed to pay to something as simple as a shopping list, but it distracted her from the memories of her last tour and the thought of her squad overseas without her. When she arrived back at the house Beca used the spare key Chicago had given her to let herself into the house, Chloe starting at her sudden appearance in her kitchen.
"Did you just let yourself in?" She snapped, eyes narrow as Beca set the groceries down on the counter.
"Sorry, Chicago gave me a key and I was worried that I was going to wake Emma up if I rang the doorbell." Beca smiled easily and warmly at Chloe, "Do you want me to put these away, I can figure out where things go whilst you take a nap? The baby books say you should sleep when the baby does."
"You've read baby books? Really?" Chloe raised her eyebrow, arms crossed over her chest.
"I wanted to help my mom out with my brother." Beca shrugged, starting to unpack one of the shopping bags to put the groceries in the fridge, "I mean it was a while ago, but I figure the advice is still good. Babies haven't changed much."
"Hm." Chloe seemed to accept this answer, although the lack of sleep she'd had the night before was a definite contributor to that, "I guess I could use a nap…"
"Great!" Beca beamed, "You do that and I'll put these groceries away. Is there anything else that needs doing around the house whilst I'm here?"
"You can go once the groceries are done." Chloe frowned, heading for the bedroom upstairs.
"I'll stay until Emma wakes up." Beca insisted gently, "That way you can nap without worrying."
Chloe opened her mouth to protest but sighed heavily. Beca made a good point she supposed, it would be easier if she knew there was someone else in the house. No-one could sneak in whilst she was asleep and hurt Emma if there was someone awake whilst she was asleep. As long as Beca didn't hurt her…
"Fine." Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat. Chicago had left Beca here, he wouldn't do that if she couldn't be trusted. Right? "If you're so determined to do something, Chicago was supposed to fit the baby gates at the top and bottom of the stairs and in the kitchen doorway before he left but he never got around to it."
"You got it." Beca nodded, "Does he have a toolbox lying around?"
"That closet." Chloe pointed to the door just over Beca's shoulder, "You should have everything you need in there."
"Great." Beca beamed, "Go and get some rest, I've got this."
Chloe hesitated for a moment, watching Beca closely as she started to put the groceries away. Was she about to leave her alone to wander around her house as she pleased? Chloe was so tired, and Beca was being helpful… maybe a little nap would be okay.
Chloe stirred with a sleepy groan and glanced over at the clock on her bedside table. One pm. That was a hell of a nap… Chloe jolted awake with a start, heart pounding in her chest. One pm? Why hadn't Emma woken up yet? Her cries always woke Chloe up.
Oh God.
Something was wrong.
Chloe scrambled out of bed, running down the corridor to the nursery and practically flung open the door. Beca looked up from the chair in the corner, startled by Chloe's entrance as she gently rocked Emma in her arms.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Chloe hissed, striding over to Beca and taking Emma from her, holding her close to her chest as she shushed the now fussing infant.
"You needed to sleep Chloe, Emma needed changing and I figured you wouldn't mind another couple of hours of sleep." Beca was calm as she got to her feet, a soft smile on her lips as she did.
"So you just took my baby without asking?" Chloe's tone was quieter than she wanted it to be but she had no desire to wake Emma who had settled again.
"I didn't take her anywhere Chloe." Beca kept herself relaxed and calm, "All I did was change her diaper and settle her again, I've only been here for about twenty minutes or so."
"I think you should go." Chloe's tone was clipped, holding Emma protectively against her.
"Okay." Beca nodded, smile not wavering for a minute, "I'll be back tomorrow about ten, the groceries are away, the baby gates are fitted, and I whipped up some chicken soup for dinner, it was always a hit with the troops."
Chloe stood slightly gobsmacked at the effort Beca had gone to whilst she'd been asleep. Beca gently breezed past her, Chloe turning to watch her leave.
"Beca?"
"Yeah?" Beca had a lazy smile on her lips as she turned back to look at Chloe.
"Um… make sure you knock first tomorrow okay?" Chloe smiled tightly, Beca pushing back a chuckle as she nodded.
"Of course. See you tomorrow Chloe. Bye Emma." Beca waved her fingers at Emma who had stirred in Chloe's arms, watching Beca intently with her wide blue eyes.
When Chloe walked into her kitchen a few hours later, Emma settled in her cot and the baby monitor gripped tight in her hand, she found a pan of chicken soup just like Beca had said. It smelt incredible, and must have taken Beca a long time. Chloe smiled softly to herself; it was nice of Beca to have made some food for her before she left. As Chloe went to heat it up, she found a note taped to the pan lid:
'In case you need me, day or night – B'
Under the scrawled message was Beca's phone number and Chloe smiled softly again. As much as she resented Beca's presence in her home and as much as she didn't trust her around her daughter, Chloe couldn't deny that she was grateful for Beca's help today.
After she'd demolished not one but two portions of the soup Beca had made (she hadn't realised just how hungry she was until she'd started eating it, and it helped that it was delicious) she picked up her phone and keyed in Beca's number, pausing for a moment before typing out a text message:
CHLOE: Thank you for the soup – Chloe
BECA: No problem! Good to know civilians enjoy it too, soldiers will eat anything you put in front of them as long as it's hot ? see you tomorrow – Beca (I assume this is how we're signing off texts now? ?)
Beca had been at Chloe's house every day for the last two and a half months, just as she had promised she would be. Chloe still resented her being there, but she couldn't deny it was convenient having her there. Beca cooked, she cleaned, she fixed things and changed lightbulbs, she fetched groceries; Beca was all the best parts of having a nanny but did none of the baby stuff. Chloe didn't trust her around Emma, she didn't trust anyone with Emma. It was up to her to keep Emma safe, she'd almost messed things up before she was even born, she had to do better from now on.
"Hey, so I'm probably not going to be here until three tomorrow." Beca stuck her head around the door of the nursery, smiling warmly at Chloe. She spent almost all of her time in here with Emma, Beca barely seeing anything of her at all when she was in the house.
"That's fine." Chloe nodded, "You don't have to come at all tomorrow if you have other things to do."
"Nah it's fine. I said I'd be here every day." Beca shrugged a little, "I just have an appointment tomorrow morning that I can't miss."
"You've been here every day since Chicago left. You can skip a day." Chloe sighed softly, "I don't need you to be here Beca, I'm managing just fine."
"I'll be back tomorrow." Beca pressed, eyebrow raised, "I left a pot of chilli on the stove for you, it just needs some rice making to go with it."
"You do too much Beca." Chloe frowned a little, "Surely there's better things you could be doing with your time than hanging around here?"
"Nope!" Beca winked, backing out of the room, "See ya tomorrow Chlo!"
"It's Chloe!" Chloe called after, frowning, but Beca hadn't missed the slightest hint of a smirk on her lips.
When Beca arrived later that day, two hours later than she'd said she would be there, Chloe noticed she was moving a little stiffly, frowning a little when Beca entered the house. She now knocked every time she arrived and waited for Chloe to let her in, not wanting to make Chloe uncomfortable in her own home. Beca had this same appointment every two weeks or so that caused her to come around at three rather than ten, but she had never arrived at Chloe's like this.
"Beca are you okay? I thought you weren't coming…"
"Yeah, I'm good! Sorry I'm so late, my appointment ran long. I'm still here to help though!" Beca grinned, carefully lowering herself onto the sofa, "Although I'm hoping the garbage can wait until tomorrow to be taken out?"
"Beca go home." Chloe sighed softly, but for the first time since Beca had met her, the smallest of genuine smiles formed on her lips, "You're clearly in pain, I don't need you to be here all the time."
"I am absolutely fine." Beca rolled her eyes a little, a hint of frustration in her voice, "I had PT earlier, it always leaves me a little sore afterward, but I guess I pushed myself a little too hard today. I can still make dinner and fold that laundry from yesterday."
"Beca-" Chloe started.
"I said I'm fine!" Beca snapped, regretting it immediately especially when Chloe flinched, "I'm sorry… you're just trying to be kind… I'm just tired today. PT takes a lot out of me."
"Even more reason for you to go home then." Chloe's tone was firm, frowning deeply, "Am I so pathetic that you can't leave me alone for one day?"
"You're not pathetic Chloe." Beca shook her head softly, "You're amazing at looking after Emma, you're just not that good at looking after yourself at the minute."
Chloe frowned deeply, going to argue with Beca but stopped when Beca winced sharply rubbing her left hip. She went into the kitchen and found the first aid kit, retrieving the topical anti-inflammatory from it and handing it to Beca when she returned.
"Thanks." Beca gave her a small smile, "I'm supposed to be looking after you, not the other way around."
"I'm a big girl Beca, you and Chicago seem to have forgotten that." Chloe raised her eyebrow, sitting in the armchair next to the sofa, baby monitor still clutched in her hand as she glanced at it, making sure her daughter was still asleep, "I can look after myself y'know. Even if I might not be 'good at it' right now."
The air quotes made Beca wince a little, chuckling awkwardly, "That was a little tactless… you are doing better Chloe. But you haven't been outside since you got back from the hospital, and that was nearly four months ago now."
"It hasn't been that long…" Chloe mumbled, looking at that floor as she tried to figure it out in her head. It couldn't have been that long, right?
"It has." Beca's smile was kind as she looked over at Chloe, resisting the urge to take her hand and comfort her, knowing that Chloe wasn't comfortable enough with her yet for her to do that, "But it's okay Chloe. Postpartum depression, it's nothing to sniff at. It's okay for you to be struggling at the minute."
"I-I-" Chloe stammered, tears welling in the corner of her eyes, "I'm fine, I'm just focusing on looking after Emma is all."
"You're not fine Chloe." Beca moved down the sofa a little with a wince, "I'm right here to help you, but the first thing you need to do is admit that you're not okay."
"I am fine." Chloe insisted, more desperate than angry.
Chloe, you clutch that baby monitor like your life depends on it, you can't spend more than ten minutes away from Emma without breaking into a cold panicked sweat like you're doing now. You don't eat unless I make something for you, and it's been four days since you last washed yourself, which I only know because I have to keep track of it and remind you to bathe when Emma is napping. You need to accept that you're not okay Chloe. Because until you do this is just going to get worse, until you can't look after Emma properly because you're not well yourself."
Chloe looked up from her feet, genuine fear in her eyes at the idea that she wouldn't be well enough to take care of Emma. She had to be well enough to take care of Emma, no-one else would look after her properly. Chloe looked down at herself, noticing herself properly for the first time in months: the ratty sweatpants that were more holes than fabric; the t-shirt that bore stains from Emma, the little food she'd eaten in the last week, and sweat; her hair that hung limply over her shoulders, it's familiar flame colour muted by the grease and dirt imbedded in it. If Chloe had a mirror she'd have been horrified to see the full effect that the last four months had wrecked upon her; her clothes hung off her thinning frame, her eyes looked sunken because the bags under her eyes were so black, and her skin had taken on a papery thin quality.
"I- I'm not well… am I?" Chloe stammered, eyes meeting Beca's as she swallowed hard.
"No Chloe. You're not." Beca smiled softly, genuine affection and concern in her expression, "But it's okay. You will be eventually. It's just going to take some time that's all, and some help from other people."
Tears slipped down Chloe's cheeks as she shook her head, "I can't- I don't want them to put me on something that's going to make spacey, or lock me away, or take Emma from me…"
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to Chloe." Beca frowned softly, "And I promise you I won't ever let them take Emma away from you. It wouldn't be good for either for you."
"What am I supposed to do Beca?" Chloe whispered, head in her hands, "Emma needs me, I can't be away from her, but am I hurting by being so pathetic?"
Beca threw her better instincts to the wind and slid herself to the end of the couch, ignoring the dull ache down her left side as she rested a gentle hand on Chloe's shoulder, "You are not pathetic Chloe, not by a long shot okay? No-one is going to take you away from Emma, I swear I won't let that happen. My mom never took any pills, never spent any time away from us, and she's okay now. It just took her a while to get over it."
"Your- your mom?" Chloe sniffled, hands moving from her face but not moving Beca's hand from where it rested on her shoulder.
"Yeah." Beca gave her a sad lopsided smile, their eyes meeting, "A week before my little brother Ryan came along my dad left for good. It was a good thing in the long term, the guy's a deadbeat, but it devastated mom, and when Ryan was born he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, which would have been bad enough if she hadn't have been rushed in for an emergency c-section a week before her due date. He's fine, there was no long lasting damage, but it really messed her up. She became a shadow of herself, which believe me was horrendous because my mom is a serious force of nature."
Beca chuckled ruefully, running a hand through her hair as she sighed softly, "So I helped out. I read all the baby books, I fed and changed and bathed Ryan, I went and got groceries from the store, I made dinner for us all… when it was at it's worst I had to bathe and feed mom myself because otherwise she just wouldn't do it. But she got better. Slowly but surely, she got better. Ryan's a teenager now and he's wreaking teenage havoc but mom is dealing with it just fine because she's better now. That and the fact that knowing his big sister was a sergeant in the army and could whoop his ass in a heartbeat really helps."
Chloe laughed softly at this, her heart swelling a little as she gained a new appreciation for Beca. She'd done this before.
"How old were you? When you had to look after your mom?" She asked quietly.
"Almost ten." Beca shrugged a little, "But it was fine, she needed me. They both did. And now it means I can help you, because I know what I'm doing, and this time I'm tall enough to see over the checkout at the grocery store." She chuckled softly as Chloe shook her head a little.
"Thank you Beca." Chloe looked up at Beca with a warm and genuine smile on her face, "For everything that you've been doing for me and for Emma."
Chloe had never thanked Beca before now but Beca hadn't minded; she wasn't doing it for that reason. But hearing Chloe thank brought tears to Beca's eyes. It was nice to feel like she was actually doing something useful for a change.
"It's fine Chloe. You don't have to thank me." Beca pushed the tears back, grinning, "You made a really big, brave step today, you should be really proud of yourself."
Chloe smiled softly, taking Beca's hand off her shoulder and clasping it in her own, "Take today off for me? You don't have to go, but at least put your feet up? We can order a pizza for dinner and everything else can wait until tomorrow."
"Are you sure?" Beca asked with a soft frown, "Like I said, I'll be okay to cook and fold the laundry…"
"I insist." Chloe gave Beca's hand a soft squeeze.
"Okay. Only if you go and take a shower whilst Emma's napping. I'll watch her on the baby monitor until you're done, take as long as you want. If she cries I'll come and get you." Beca's smile was kind but insistent as Chloe nodded.
"I think I can manage that."
Chloe got to her feet as Beca relaxed back into the sofa, the baby monitor in her hand as Chloe walked in the direction of the stairs. She returned nearly half an hour later, a content look on her face for the first time in months. It was amazing the kind of healing power a long hot shower could have. Beca grinned at her as she passed her a beer.
"Thanks Chlo. But I have to drive home yet, I probably shouldn't."
"Chloe." Chloe corrected her, although more light-hearted than she had before, "If your hip and leg are hurting you, isn't driving painful?"
"Yeah a little." Beca downplayed her pain as she shrugged, "But I'll be fine."
"If- if you wanted to you could crash on the couch tonight. Rest yourself, help out tomorrow, and then go home?" Chloe smiled softly as she sat in the armchair again, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of clean clothes on her clean skin.
"Are you sure?" Beca knew that letting someone stay in her house overnight was a big deal, and Chloe was only just accepting that she was ill, "I can drive okay. I just have to take a break every once in a while, but I don't live that far from here."
"Stay here." Chloe nodded, "Chicago would never forgive me if I let you travel home in pain and god forbid got into an accident."
Beca laughed softly, "Yeah okay, fair enough. Thanks Chloe."
Chloe yawned softly as she walked into the living room, a cup of coffee in each hand (one for her and one for Beca). Last night was the first night since Emma had been born that Chloe had slept through the night. Emma herself had been sleeping through the night for a month and a half now, but Chloe had been too stressed and irate to sleep herself. Yet after finally admitting not only to Beca but to herself that she wasn't well, and that perhaps a little help was needed, a weight seemed to have been lifted from Chloe's shoulders and sleep came far easier than it had before. She had a long road to go, but Chloe was finally ready to start taking those steps.
She smiled softly at the sleeping Beca, moving around the sofa to set the coffee down on the table in front of her before stirring her. It was ten am after all, Beca wouldn't want to sleep the whole day away here when she could go home and sleep in her own bed. Chloe stumbled a little over Beca's leg on the floor, quickly catching herself before she could spill the scalding coffee on her.
Wait.
Beca's leg.
On the floor?
Chloe looked down, Beca stirring as she did, blushing a little when she saw Chloe looking up from the prosthetic on the floor to the stump of Beca's left leg which stopped just above where her knee used to be.
"Sorry." Beca mumbled, pushing herself into a sitting position and quickly attaching her leg to the stump before lowering her trouser leg to cover it again, "It's super uncomfortable to sleep in, I was gonna put it back on before you got up but I guess I must have slept through my alarm."
"It's fine Beca." Chloe set the coffee cup down in front of Beca, "I'm a military wife, I know these things happen. You don't have to be embarrassed about it in front of me. Or at all in fact."
"Thanks." Beca gave her a half-hearted smile, "I still have a hard time with it I guess…"
Chloe smiled sympathetically, giving Beca's shoulder a soft squeeze and frowning a little when Beca jumped a little and pulled away. She pushed it to one side when Emma began to cry, sighing softly as she got to her feet and headed upstairs to the nursery. Beca was clearly carrying something traumatic around with her, and Chloe couldn't help but wonder if she was merely a distraction for her from everything that she'd been through rather than someone she genuinely wanted to help. Even after last night, Chloe was still a little on edge around Beca. Knowing she was keeping something from her certainly wasn't helping.
The subject of Beca's leg and what had happened overseas went unmentioned as Beca put all of her energy into helping Chloe recover.
A week after Chloe had finally admitted to having a problem, she went outside for the first time since bringing Emma home from the hospital. It had simply been to the garbage bin and back and had resulted in a panic attack next to the front door afterwards, but Beca had insisted it was a huge step and that she should be really proud of herself.
Two weeks later, Chloe had tentatively taken Emma to the park for half an hour, hands so tight around the handles of the stroller that her knuckles were white, Beca by her side the whole way to reassure her she was doing just fine, that no-one was going to hurt her or Emma as long as she was there.
Four days later, Chloe took Emma to the grocery store with her, Beca again close to her side but encouraging Chloe to be more independent by getting some of the items from the list herself, Beca a few paces behind her. It had been a difficult day, but even though she was exhausted by the time she got home again, Chloe felt incredibly accomplished.
Almost six months after Chicago had left for his tour of duty, Beca let herself into the house, Chloe having relinquished her knocking rule.
"Hey Chlo! I picked up some more diapers on my way over, you said last night that-"
Beca stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide as she found that Chloe wasn't alone.
"Aubrey?!" Beca exclaimed, "What the- what are you doing here?"
"Beca?" Aubrey Posen arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow in confusion and bemusement, "Chloe's one of my best friends, I think the more pertinent question is what are you doing here?"
"Hang on." Chloe grinned in amusement, "You guys know each other? Talk about a small world…"
"I served with her wife Stacie, I had no idea you two even knew each other…" Beca shook her head, a smirk crossing her lips, "Does that mean that Bella-"
"AUNTIE BECA!" Bella Conrad-Posen came charging towards her, Beca sweeping her up in her arms, not quite able to keep her balance on her prosthetic leg and half falling-half sinking into a nearby chair with a soft 'oomph'.
"Bella, I told you, we have to be gentler with Beca now." Aubrey chastised her gently, throwing Beca an apologetic look as her daughter pulled away from her tight hug to look at Beca.
"Sorry!" She apologised quickly, pouting a little, "I forgots."
"It's okay munchkin." Beca beamed, booping the end of her nose, "I'm okay."
"I thought I was your favourite aunty?" Chloe frowned but there was no malice to it, Emma held in her arms.
"Uh oh." Bella sighed dramatically, "I can have two fav-or-uts right mamma?"
"Right." Aubrey chuckled, "So what are you doing here Beca?"
"I'm just helping out a bit whilst Chicago's on tour." Beca shrugged with a grin, "I needed the company whilst everyone was out on tour. Even with Roxie at home I was going a bit stir crazy."
"Roxie?" Chloe frowned softly. Did Beca have a child too?
"My dog." Beca smirked sheepishly, "She's a big dog, harmless, but I didn't want her to freak Emma out."
"Oh. Thanks." Chloe felt her heart sink a little. Beca was hiding herself from her and Chloe didn't understand why. She was really trying to be honest with Beca, why couldn't she do the same?
"How's your PT going?" Aubrey asked, Beca's heart panging in her chest. Aubrey knew far more than Beca wanted Chloe to know right now, she had to focus on her recovery and not on what had happened to her, "Stacie said you were struggling at the beginning with-"
"Hey Bella, why don't you show Chloe that cool handshake I taught you whilst I go and make the grown ups a coffee?" Beca quickly shut the conversation down, gently setting Bella down and heading for the kitchen. Aubrey and Chloe shared a bewildered and concerned look, Aubrey sighing softly as she got off the sofa to go and talk to Beca.
"I'm sorry." Aubrey's voice was quiet as she joined Beca at the kitchen counter, "I didn't mean to cross a line there."
"It's fine." Beca forced a smile onto her lips as she busied herself with making the coffees, "I just don't want to talk about it. Not here, now now."
"Okay… but Beca if you're having a problem or struggling with your recovery-" Aubrey's frown deepened as she saw the way that Beca's hands were starting to shake a little.
"I'm fine Aubrey, can we just drop it please?!" Beca hissed, hands tightly gripping the mugs as she clenched her jaw.
"I'm sorry." Aubrey held up her hands defensively. A tense silence fell between them as Beca made coffee, it broken only a few minutes later by a quiet, almost frightened question from Aubrey, "Have you heard from any of your old squad in the last two weeks?"
"No." Beca shook her head, finally looking up from her task with a confused look on her face, "Why, what's wrong?"
"I haven't heard from Stacie in that long, and that never happens." Aubrey could barely keep the concern out of her tone, eyes glittering with fear, "She always calls home every week, every two at most… I'm worried Beca."
Beca put her hand on Aubrey's arm, giving her a soft smile, "Sometimes the sandstorms get so bad that they knock out the sat phones, I'm sure that the second it clears up she'll be straight on the phone. She'll be going mad not being able to talk to you guys, you'll be wishing for the days when she didn't call, believe me."
Aubrey chuckled a little, the tension in her shoulders easing a little, "Are you sure? Because Chloe hasn't heard from Chicago either…"
"If something had happened they would've been in touch by now." Beca squeezed her arm softly, "Just wait it out a little longer. If you still haven't heard by the end of the week, let me know and I'll make some calls."
"Thanks Beca." Aubrey smiled, "For looking out for Chloe too. This is the first time I've seen her since before she went into labour, I can tell there's something not quite right with her,"
"Of course." Beca shrugged a little, "She's okay, she's doing better than she was. How long have you known her?" Beca changed the subject, unsure of how much Chloe wanted to divulge about what she had been going through.
"About four years?" Aubrey mused, "We met at a military wives choir group, she's actually Bella's godmother."
"Huh…" Beca scoffed a little, "Should I be mad that Stace never asked me to be her godmother?"
Aubrey laughed lightly, shaking her head a little, "Stacie wanted someone that wasn't getting blown up for a living in case something awful happened to us."
"Guess I can't argue with that." Beca shrugged with smirk, "She'll be fine Aubrey. Stacie is always really careful out there, she cares about you guys too much to put you through the pain of losing her."
"Except when she goes chasing after you." Aubrey raised an eyebrow, sniffing softly, "Sorry… that's not fair. I know that's not what happened…"
"Well that can't happen this time." Beca smiled tightly, "I'm stuck here instead."
Aubrey sighed softly, taking her cup of coffee from Beca as they headed back to the living room. She shouldn't have opened her mouth, but the radio silence from Stacie was setting her on edge. It wasn't fair to take that out on Beca though, just because Beca was here and her wife wasn't.
Stacie would call her soon. It would all be okay.
The next morning, Beca was washing up from breakfast, having now got Chloe to start eating two meals a day, when there was a knock at the front door. She set the plate she was drying down on the kitchen unit and went to answer it, knowing Chloe was in the nursery with Emma, changing her after her morning feed. When Beca opened the door her stomach dropped and her mouth went dry.
Oh no.
Not now.
Not this.
Not when Chloe was finally starting to get better.
"Colonel Watkins?"
Beca immediately stood to attention out of habit, trying to push away the fear that was making her heart pound so loudly that she was sure her old commanding officer would hear it.
"At ease Sergeant." He had a sad smile on his face, dressed in his Service Dress uniform, "I trust you are keeping well?"
"As well as I can, Sir." Beca nodded, "It's hard being here when they're out there without me."
Colonel Watkins looked uncomfortable as he shifted slightly, Beca not even remotely soothed by him as she watched him. This wasn't happening. It was all just a big mistake.
"Is Ms Beale at home? I'm afraid we have some bad news."