Beca felt like the floor had fallen out from under her feet, her head spinning as she felt her chest constrict.

No.

This wasn't happening.

"I- I need to be there. When you tell her. I need to be there." Beca croaked, mouth suddenly dry as she swallowed hard.

"That will be fine. Sergeant, are you okay?" Colonel Watkins frowned in concern, noticing the way that Beca had started to shake.

"I'm fine." Beca mumbled, running a trembling hand through her hair, "You'd um… you'd better come in." Beca stepped aside to let her former commanding officer and the chaplain in, leading them through to the living room, "You can sit down if you like sir, Chloe will be down in a few minutes, she's changing Emma. I should um… I'll make tea or something."

Beca was dithering a little, her mind reeling. This was all a bad dream. It had to be. There was no way that this was actually happening. Beca turned awkwardly as she headed for the kitchen, hissing slightly as her hip twisted and throbbed making her stumble slightly as she lost her balance on her prosthetic leg. The Colonel caught Beca as she fell, smiling warmly as she looked up at him.

"It's bad isn't it sir?" Beca whispered, "Aubrey said she hadn't heard from Stacie in two weeks, Chloe hasn't heard from Chicago in that long either… how many of them?"

"All but Sergeant Conrad." There was a level of emotion in the Colonel's eyes as Beca squeezed her eyes tightly shut, "She's at St. Lukes in critical condition. We flew her home just in case she…" He trailed off as Beca shook her head furiously, turning her back on him as her fists clenched.

"I should've been there sir." When Beca turned on her heel her eyes were blazing with anger, but before she could finish saying what was on her mind, Chloe walked into the living room, concern and confusion in every line of her.

"Beca? What's going on?" Chloe looked to Beca for some reassurance, for anything that would tell her that this wasn't what it looked like.

"Where's Emma?" Beca forced a soft smile onto her lips, hoping that Chloe couldn't see the tears in her eyes, not wanting to scare her.

"Upstairs…" Chloe mumbled, "She's having a nap. Beca what's going on?" She pressed again, a lump starting to form in her throat.

This wasn't what it looked like. It couldn't be. He promised her he was coming back.

"Sit down Chloe." Beca's voice was as gentle as her expression as she walked over to Chloe, joining her as Chloe's suddenly shaky legs managed to lower her onto the sofa.

This wasn't what it looked like. He wouldn't do this to her. He wouldn't leave Emma like this.

"Colonel Watkins has something to tell you Chloe."

This wasn't what it looked like.

Chloe didn't even notice as she took Beca's hand in her own, gripping it tight.

This wasn't what it looked like.

He said it was last tour.

"Ms Beale, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

This wasn't what it looked like.

He was coming home for good this time.

"Two weeks ago, your ex-husband's infantry went out on what should have been a routine patrol. They were ambushed in the middle of the desert and when trying to get his injured men out of the crossfire, his vehicle hit an IED."

"No." Chloe whispered, shaking her head a little as tears welled in her eyes.

"It took us a long time to get out to the desert, and even longer to identify the remains, but I'm afraid-"

"No!" Chloe's yell caught them all by surprise, eyes bright with tears as she looked up from her feet. There was desperation in every line of her face as her lips pursed, "Please… please don't."

"Ms Beale I'm afraid Staff Sergeant Walp was killed in action."

Chloe let out a loud choking sob as she shook her head again. Beca squeezed the hand that held hers, tears rolling down her own cheeks. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to come home. He was supposed to see his daughter grow up.

"No. You're wrong." Chloe sobbed, "Chicago wouldn't do this to me. He wouldn't do this to Emma."

"I am truly sorry Ms Beale." The Colonel could barely keep the emotion out of his voice as he smiled sadly from where he stood, "He was a good man-"

"He was a GREAT man." Chloe snapped, her sorrow seeming to morph into anger as she glared up at the man giving her the worst news of her life, "You don't know him, you stay here in your cushy little office whilst he went out there and risked his life! He is my best friend, he has been there almost my whole life, he's the father of my child, don't you DARE stand there and act like you knew him!"

The Colonel swallowed hard, not used to being challenged like this but knowing it was out of grief rather than outright hatred. Or at least he hoped.

"Chicago wouldn't do this to me. He knows that I can't do this on my own. Why the hell do you think she's here?" Beca flinched a little at Chloe's tone when she jerked her head towards her, "You're wrong. You've made a mistake. Go back and check, and find whichever poor souls' family who ACTUALLY lost a loved one. And when you find Chicago you tell him to get his ass back here because I need him!"

"Chlo…" Beca's voice was soft as Chloe rounded on her, eyes blazing as she snatched her hand from hers.

"What Beca? What could you possibly say that could make this any better? You shouldn't even be here! It should've been you! It should've been you out there!" Chloe shoved Beca, Beca letting her as the guilt she was feeling magnified tenfold, "He had a daughter waiting for him, he had me, who the hell do you have waiting for you to come home huh?!"

Beca's nostrils flared as she caught Chloe's wrists as she went to shove her again. Chloe might be lashing out because she was grieving, but she did have a point. She should've been out there with them. Chloe tugged her wrists from Beca's loose grip on them, getting angrily to her feet as her hands clenched into fists.

"Stop looking at me like that! Like I'm some sad charity case you have to fix! I am not your mother, I can actually take care of myself and my child! We all know why you're here, you're trying to distract yourself from the fact that the army doesn't want you anymore because you're defective! Who the hell are you to try and fix me?!"

Beca knew that Chloe was sad and scared and lashing out, partly because they were true. Helping Chloe had been a great way of taking her mind off the other things that haunted her, off the fact that she was broken. Because with Chloe she felt useful, she had a purpose, she felt like someone needed her… maybe she was just kidding herself.

"Just get out. All of you, just get out of my house!"

"Chloe-" Beca frowned as she got to her feet. The last thing she wanted to do right now was leave. Chloe wasn't in a good frame of mind right now, she couldn't leave.

"GET OUT BECA!" Chloe roared, her hands slapping at Beca who flinched away from her, "It should have been you, I WISH it had been you!"

Beca caught Chloe's hands again, tears in her eyes as Chloe's words landed harder than her hands, "Okay. Okay I'll give you some space. I'll be back later." She mumbled, forcing a soft smile onto her lips even though her heart was breaking. She thought she meant a little more to Chloe than this.

"Don't bother." Chloe spat darkly, "Go find someone else to put up with your puppy dog act and leave me and my daughter the hell alone."

Beca let go of Chloe's wrists, nodding softly. Beca had no intention of staying away, she had made Chicago a promise to look after Chloe and Emma and no matter what Chloe said to her she was going to do that. But right now Chloe needed space to process the news, and Beca realised that she was simply reminding Chloe of what she had lost.

"Call me if you need me." Beca squeezed Chloe's shoulder gently on her way past, the Colonel and the chaplain following her.

"I am very sorry for your loss Ms Beale." The Colonel smiled sadly, Chloe's eyes blazing as he left.

Beca sighed heavily as she shut the front door behind her, leaning on it as she shook her head. This wasn't happening.

"Can I drive you somewhere Sergeant?" The Colonel asked, Beca lifting her head to glare daggers at him.

"I can manage to drive myself sir. Thanks." Beca glowered, moving towards her car.

"Are you sure, we could-"

"Would you stop?!" Beca exclaimed, tears in her eyes as she rounded on him again, "Chloe's right! It should have been me. I should've been there, but instead you discharged me and instead of being to help I was stuck here!"

"I stand by my decision Sergeant Mitchell." The Colonel's voice was level despite the anger that flared inside him at her insubordination. Chloe wasn't the only one grieving a loss, "You served your country well, but now is the time to rest and heal."

"Yeah well whilst I was healing and resting, a little girl lost her father before she even got the chance to know him, and another might lose her mom. Don't tell me that my time was better spent here. Sir." Beca shook her head angrily, unlocking her car and opening the driver's side door, "I'm going to see Stacie whilst Chloe cools off."

"I'll call ahead so that there's no issues when you get there." The Colonel nodded, seeing no sense in arguing with Beca when she needed someone to blame for the guilt that she felt, however unnecessary it way be.

Beca nodded as she got into her car, hands tight around the steering wheel as she looked up at the house. Poor Chloe. She had been through so much and was just starting to come through her issues, and now this. Her words bounced around Beca's head as she pulled away, sniffing softly.

"It should have been you! I WISH it had been you!"

"We all know why you're here, you're trying to distract yourself from the fact that the army doesn't want you anymore because you're defective!"

"Leave me and my daughter the hell alone."

Beca hadn't realised she'd arrived at St Lukes until her car came to a stop in the parking lot; she'd driven on autopilot, knowing all too well how to get here. The emotion that Beca had been holding back seemed to trickle out of her at first, a tear rolling down her cheek followed by another, and then another. Her soft weeping soon turned into loud sobbing as her hands tightened around the steering wheel again, head falling against it with a soft thump.

Beca gave the ball a sharp kick, sending it flying past Chicago's outstretched hand and through the space between the two jackets on the ground.

"Nice one Mitchell!" Stacie cheered as Beca threw her arms up in the air in triumph, laughing as she leapt onto Stacie's back and was carried around triumphantly.

"You boys are really being shown up." Beca smirked, Chicago rolling his eyes as Jesse wiped sweat from his forehead.

"Like it's a fair match, Mitchell's so short she's like a whippet, there's no way we'd catch her!" Jesse scoffed, hands on his hips.

"Watch it Swanson." Beca glowered at him, finger pointing accusingly from her spot on Stacie's back, "I know where you sleep."

A sharp whistle cut through the air before anyone could say anything else, Beca quickly scrambling off Stacie's back as the soccer playing soldiers stood to attention.

"At ease men." Their Sergeant Major chuckled softly, "You boys really need to step it up, there's only two of them and they're running circles around the six of you!"

"It's embarrassing really sir." Beca smirked, Stacie nodding in agreement as the Sergeant Major shook his head.

"Now is that gloating befit of your position, Sergeant Mitchell?" He raised his eyebrow, Beca's eyes gleaming as her chest swelled with pride.

"I made Sergeant sir?!" Beca practically squeaked, clearing her throat as a light blush spread across her cheeks.

"With flying colours." The Sergeant Major nodded, a broad smile on his face, "Congratulations Sergeant."

"Thank you sir." Beca grinned, Stacie wrapping her arms around her shoulders and ruffling her hair affectionately.

"Welcome to the club Shortstack!" Beca pushed her off with an affectionate roll of her eyes, the Sergeant Major clearing his throat as Stacie blushed slightly, "Sorry sir."

This was so unfair. They were her friends, her second family, and now they were gone. They were good people, brave people, and then, suddenly, cruelly, they were dead. And she had been here, playing happy families and kidding herself that she still had a purpose. Beca sobbed until it felt like her lungs were on fire, breathing heavily as she lifted her head from the steering wheel. She wiped at her nose as she opened the sun visor, grimacing at the state of her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose glowing like she was freaking Rudolph, her complexion flushed and blotchy. She couldn't see Stacie whilst she looked like this, she needed to put on a brave face for her.

Sighing heavily, Beca entered the hospital, head down as she ducked into the ladies bathroom to wash her face. Once satisfied that she looked less like she had just been sobbing in her car like a loser, Beca cleared her throat, realising it was as dry as the desert. God she hated crying.

"No tears Mitchell, come on."

Beca's eyes widened as she saw Chicago standing behind her in the mirror. She whirled around, finding herself alone and her heart sank. Not this again.

"You're not here." She whispered, eyes shut tight, hands gripping the edge of the sink behind her hard as she tried to ground herself, "You're not here."

Beca opened her eyes again, relieved to find herself alone. It had been a long time since she'd imagined seeing things. It seemed like Chloe wasn't the only one that was going backwards. Brilliant. Beca sighed heavily as she ran her hand through her hair. No time to think about this now. She had to see Stacie.

Beca easily found her way through to the ICU, supressing her memories of her own time here as she clenched her jaw and headed for the nurses station.

"I um… I'm here to see Sergeant Conrad?" Beca forced a soft smile onto her lips.

"Ah yes, Colonel Watkins called ahead. Can I see some ID please?" The nurse was kind and Beca thought she looked vaguely familiar but she wasn't about to pry too hard at that feeling in case all her memories came tumbling out. Beca pulled her wallet from her pocket and showed the nurse her ID.

She was escorted through to a private room, heart leaping into her throat as her eyes immediately settled on her friend. Despite being an impressive five foot six (okay, maybe only impressive to the short brunette), Stacie looked tiny lay in her hospital bed, tubes and wires attaching her to various machines, her skin a ghostly pale and covered in a soft sheen of sweat. But what Beca's heart wrench the most were the bandages around Stacie's left arm. Or rather, what was left it. It had been amputated several inches above where her elbow should be and Beca felt a twinge in her leg almost in sympathy. There were burn dressings on Stacie's left side, up her neck and stopping only at her cheek, just underneath the nose canula helping her oxygen flow.

"I'm afraid celebrations will have to wait." As the Sergeant Major's demeanour shifted so did everyone else's, a tense silence falling over the assembled soldiers, "I need you to accompany a VIP med evac through the desert to the Sandbox. We've got a confidential informant that needs to be protected at all costs. Walp, I want a vehicle in front, one in back, and two of your team in the med evac vehicle."

"Yes sir." Chicago nodded, "When do we leave?"

"In a half hour. Get ready, and make sure you keep your wits about you."

"Sir yes sir!" Came the unanimous response from Chicago's platoon along with a salute. The Sergeant Major nodded approvingly and left Chicago to sort out the logistics.

"Applebaum, Swanson, you're with me, we'll take the last vehicle." Benji and Jesse nodded firmly.

"Conrad you have med training right?" Stacie nodded, "Then you take the med evac. Mitchell go with her. Allen, Kramer, and Smith you take the front vehicle."

There were sounds of assent as they broke apart with their assignments and packed ready to leave. Beca felt the familiar ball of anxiety in her stomach that she always got in the face of a dangerous assignment, but she had a handle on it. This was her job, people were depending on her. And she had Stacie with her, they could get through anything together.

Their passenger was a small quiet man, laid out on a stretcher and only half-conscious. Neither Beca nor Stacie really paid him much attention. That wasn't what they were here for. They had to protect him but the information he had, however curious they might be, was none of their business.

"Did I tell you Aubrey had the baby?" Stacie grinned, weapon in hand as she kept one eye out of the window of the vehicle and the other on Beca.

"No?" Beca arched her eyebrow, "Dude that's awesome! When?"

"A couple of days ago. She called me last night, she was too exhausted to call any earlier. Apparently she sent me about a million photos, can you imagine the size of that letter when it arrives?" Stacie was grinning from ear to ear as she shook her head affectionately.

"Letter? You're getting a parcel as big as your head." Beca laughed, "I'm so happy for you guys. Boy or girl?"

"A little girl. We called her Bella."

"That's beautiful du-"

Beca took a deep shuddering breath, shaking her head to clear the memories from it and took the seat next to Stacie, taking her hand in hers and squeezing it softly. Stacie's eyes fluttered slowly open, her head turning towards Beca as the hint of a smile tugged at her lips.

"Hey Stace." Beca grinned, cursing silently as she felt tears well in the corners of her eyes.

"Hey Becs." Stacie mumbled, wincing as she swallowed, her voice rough, "Any chance I can have some water?"

"The nurse said only ice chips right now." Beca got up to get Stacie some that had been set near her bed, carefully holding the cup to Stacie's dry lips as she let a couple of chips slide past them, "Any better?"

"Mm." Stacie nodded with a weak smile, watching as Beca sat next to her again, "Talk about déjà vu huh?"

Beca chuckled softly, taking Stacie's hand again, "We have got to stop using this place for a reunion. Normal people go for coffee y'know?"

It was Stacie's turn to chuckle, wincing a little. There was a moment of quiet, Beca's ears highly tuned to the machines around them as she kept an eye on how Stacie was doing. Beca thought Stacie had drifted again until she spoke again.

"I tried Beca. I really tried to get us out of there." Tears welled in the corner of Stacie's eyes as she pursed her lips, "They were firing on us, Swanson was bleeding out, Chicago is yelling at me to drive and so I did. I drove us right into that IED, it's my fault…"

"No." Beca frowned, shaking her head as she squeezed Stacie's hand as tight as she dared, "No it's not Stace. You couldn't have known it was there, you did your job. This tragedy isn't on you."

"Why me?" Stacie choked on a sob, her eyes searching Beca's for answers she couldn't possibly give her, "Why am I still here when they're not?"

"I don't know." Beca smiled sadly, moving Stacie's hair from her eyes, "But you are here Stace, and you have a wife and a little girl waiting for her momma who are going to be so grateful that you're alive."

"Some mom I'll be." Stacie shook her head bitterly, "How am I supposed to tuck her in, teach her to ride a bike, hold her with one fucking arm?!"

"You'll find a way, I know you Conrad, you never give up on anything." Beca hated seeing Stacie so vulnerable and upset, it flew in the face of everything she knew about the fiery woman. Hell, if it hadn't had been for Stacie's strength then she wouldn't be here right now, "And you have Aubrey to help you figure it out."

"She could barely look at me…" Stacie whispered, nostrils flaring as she swallowed hard, "Bree was here for a little while but she couldn't look at me Becs… and it's only going to get worse, these burn scars are going to be awful, there's a six inch scar on my hip where they took my spleen and a kidney, the rehab alone will take months-"

The heart rate monitor began to beep faster as Stacie spiralled, Beca swallowing hard as she pushed herself to her feet, perching on the edge of Stacie's bed as she squeezed Stacie's hand tight, her other hand cupping Stacie's cheek as she looked at her.

"Now listen to me Sergeant Conrad. No-one is saying that this is going to be an easy road, for you or for Aubrey. But you have to try, you have to fight because your family needs you. You don't get to give up because it's hard work, do you understand me?" Beca's tone was firm but kind, Stacie sniffling as she looked up at her, heart rate beginning to come back down again to a normal speed.

"Chloe's really lucky to have you y'know?" Stacie sighed softly, "You've gotten really strong Beca."

"I don't know about that." Beca shook her head, "It's such a mess Stace… she hates me. Chloe doesn't need me, she needs Chicago. So does Emma. It should've been me, not him."

Stacie frowned deeply, trying to fight back the wave of exhaustion that was weighing on her like a lead blanket. She was so tired…

"Becs… don't be ridiculous." Stacie mumbled, "Chicago knew what he was doing when he asked you to look after them. There was no-one he trusted more than you, he left his family with you…"

Beca could see Stacie was struggling to stay awake and sighed softly. She shouldn't be putting her own issues on Stacie right now. She was fighting for her life, one that belonged not just to her but to her wife and daughter too. Beca wouldn't take that away from them.

"Get some rest Sergeant. That's an order." Beca grinned.

Stacie frowned a little, a smile tugging at her lips, "You don't outrank me Mitchell." She murmured, "In fact, I outrank you since I'm the serving officer."

"Just go to sleep." Beca rolled her eyes, going to get to her feet but feeling Stacie's hand tighten around hers.

"Can you stay for a little while?" She pleaded in a soft voice, "Please?"

Beca hesitated. She should go back to Chloe and in all honesty she had no desire to spend any longer here than she had to. But Stacie had sat by her side for almost a whole week when Beca was recovering.

"Yeah. Of course." Beca smiled softly, moving into the chair by the bed again as Stacie looked at her gratefully, "I'm right here. You just rest."

"Thanks Becs…" Stacie mumbled, eyes fluttering shut, hand still held in Beca's.

Beca sighed again, head resting on the back of the chair as she watched Stacie sleep. They had been through hell together once, Stacie could get through this. Her exhaustion seemed to be contagious as Beca yawned, her limbs feeling heavy. It had been a long day already and it was only ten am.

Beca slipped into an uneasy sleep, unable to hold back her memories once her subconscious came to the fore.

Beca groaned softly as she felt a pair of hands slide under her arms and drag her. Her head was pounding. She could hear the distant sound of gunfire and frowned softly. What had happened? She had been talking to Stacie and then…

Stacie.

Where was Stacie?

Where was the informant?

Where was her squad?

Beca could feel herself slipping into unconsciousness again despite how hard she tried to fight it off. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment and she tried to look around her. Why was there always so much sand in the desert? She couldn't see her team. Where were they? Maybe that's who was dragging her now…

Beca used the last of her strength to look up, frowning softly when her eyes found an unshaven Asian man that she didn't recognise.

Who the hell-

The startling feeling of ice cold water hit Beca like a brick to the face, jolting her awake with a loud gasp. She tried to demand an answer to her rude awakening but found a rag had been tied around her head and through her mouth, effectively silencing any coherent sentence that might come out of her mouth. Her hands were secured above her head, leaving her dangling a couple of inches off the floor, and as Beca started to become more lucid she tried to look around and take in her surroundings.

What the hell was going on?

"It's about time you woke up."

Beca's eyes found the same unshaven Asian stranger she had seen earlier, fear beginning to spread through her as the cruel look in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine. She tried to yank herself free of the handcuffs fastened tight around her wrists, grunting slightly with the effort as he chuckled at her.

"I would save your strength Little One. You are going to need it."

Beca glared daggers at her captor, her mind racing with the thoughts of what could have happened to the rest of her squad. Where were they? He surveyed her coolly for a few moments, Beca still struggling against her restraints but they were made even more futile by the fact that she was suspended in the air, unable to get any purchase.

"I would never leave my most valuable asset in the care of two women…" He tutted, Beca's glare getting more furious as she snarled at him from behind her gag, "It's almost as if they thought the two of you were disposable."

Beca tried to swing her legs to kick him, anger coursing through her. They weren't disposable, how dare he! Chicago knew they weren't disposable. He was the one who thought for them every step of the way, the one that pushed them to rise up the ranks.

"I'm sure between the two of you I'll get the information I need."

Her captor stepped back a little to reveal Stacie, also hung from the ceiling by her wrists and gagged, but her nose had clearly been broken, blood on her upper lip and bruises on her arms.

"Your friend is very tight lipped. Won't even tell us her name." He shook his head a little, "She'll crack eventually. Unless you want to tell us everything, and then you can save her a lot of pain."

Stacie's eyes burned with determination under hooded lids, shaking her head firmly. She could take this. Beca should say nothing. Beca already knew the deal; if captured by the enemy you gave them nothing, not even your name. Beca nodded slightly, her eyes burning into her captor as he stepped towards her slowly.

"Ah you're one of those empowered Western women aren't you?" He mocked, "Fed lies about how you don't need a good strong man in your life to guide you. If only you'd had one, maybe you would be at home cooking for him rather than here with me."

Beca's string of expletives was lost behind the gag in her mouth, but Beca knew he would know what she was trying to scream at him. He had reached her and pulled her head back by her hair, Beca grunting as her scalp burned a little from the sharp tug, glaring furiously at him.

"I have a feeling you and I are going to get to know each other very well. I do enjoy breaking a strong willed bitch down to nothing."

Beca snarled again, trying to tug her head free of his grip. Screw this guy. He wasn't going to get anything from her, not even whimper. Beca had a lot of fight in her, and he was going to find that out the hard way.

But where was the rest of her squad? Were they looking for them? Just how top secret had this informant been?

No. No spiralling Mitchell. Focus on the task at hand. One day at a time. She had to take this one day at a time. They'd get through this.

"Take her through to the interrogation room."

Beca didn't know how long she'd been here. It was impossible to count the days when there was no way natural light, no clocks, no way of measuring time at all. The only things Beca could count were her injuries: cuts, bruises, broken ribs, fingers and toes, burn marks from electric shocks. The attention of her captors seemed to focus predominately on her; it was far more entertaining torture the woman that fought back then the woman who would stoically ignore them. Beca was grateful for that; Stacie had more waiting for her back home than she did, including a new-born. So if Beca could keep them away from her then she was doing her job right.

Beca felt gravity take over as she hit the floor, the chain that kept her suspended from the ground giving way. She knew what that meant. Interrogation room. She glanced up at Stacie as she was dragged struggling from the room, seeing the concern in her eyes. Stacie was struggling with the fact that Beca was being tortured far more ruthlessly, Beca knew that. But this was the way it was and there was nothing they could do about it, nothing except endure it. Someone had to be coming for them soon.

She was hauled onto a table, gag long since disposed of for ease considering how often they were dragging her in for information. Beca squared her jaw and clenched her teeth together, bracing herself as she struggled against the hands busying themselves with tying her down once more. It had become a familiar routine at this point, as ordinary as waking up and brushing her teeth, but Beca knew that wasn't a good thing. The last thing these men wanted was for her to become comfortable or used to a routine.

"Let's try this again shall we?" Her captor had never given her his name, but Beca had quickly realised he was the leader of this particular faction and even his own men feared him. Beca was terrified of him honestly, but she'd never show him that, "What is your name?"

Beca said nothing, glaring at him as she lay strapped to the table. Not a word Mitchell. Don't give him anything. He doesn't get anything from you.

Her captor sighed heavily, turning his back on Beca as he walked away from her, "I am getting bored of this game Little One. We go round and round in the same way and neither of us gets anything out of it. Waterboarding. Beating. Electrocution. You are a tough cookie, I'll give you that. But I have things to do that are far more important than learning your name."

He walked back towards Beca, her eyes widening and heart leaping into her throat as she saw what he carried back with him. Was that a sledgehammer? What the hell was that for?

"So. Let's try something else. What did our mutual friend tell you about our operations?" He rested the sledgehammer on his shoulder, watching with amusement as Beca started to furiously tug at the restraints that kept her held down.

Beca genuinely had no information for him, she had no idea what information the informant had or hadn't given to her superiors. That wasn't her job. But there was no way she was going to let him know that, because the minute he knew that was the minute she became disposable.

He sighed again, seeming to turn away from Beca before suddenly swinging the heavy weapon, bringing it down with full force on her left ankle. Beca's scream of agony echoed around the room, tears stinging her eyes as her ankle shattered.

"What did he tell you?"

Her captor's voice was calm, seeming to have barely broken a sweat when he had broken Beca's ankle. Beca was panting as the pain threatened to overwhelm her, glaring daggers at him as he towered above her. He wasn't going to win. She wouldn't let him win. The sledgehammer came down again, higher this time, shattering her shin bone. Beca shrieked as she felt bone pierce skin, the slightest of whimpers escaping her lips.

Fuck.

"You must not be very attached to this leg of yours." He tutted, hand pressing onto Beca's lower leg and revelling in the choked sob that escaped her lips, "Now one more time. What. Did he. Tell you?"

"Fuck you." Beca growled through gritted teeth, hating him even more for making her scream and cry. He didn't get to win. Not like this.

Beca didn't scream for long this time, the pain from her shattering kneecap so severe that she blacked out.

Beca gasped sharply as she woke with a start, chest pounding hard and eyes wild as she looked around her. Where was she? He had to be here somewhere, he was waiting for the right moment and then-

"Beca."

Crap. He knew her name. How did he know her name? She would never have given it to him.

"Beca you're safe."

Safe? What the hell was he talking about? She wasn't safe from him.

"Beca you're at St Lukes hospital. It was just a bed dream. No-one is going to hurt you anymore."

St Lukes?

Beca's wild eyes finally settled on the nurse squatted before her, hands held tightly in hers to try and ground her. Beca took several deep, shuddering breath, trying to get her heart rate down again. The nurse smiled softly at her as Beca swallowed hard, realising that her t-shirt was soaked from a cold sweat.

"There we go. Are you okay?" She smiled, squeezing Beca's hands gently.

"Yeah." Beca mumbled, nodding a little, "I'm fine. Thanks."

"Are you seeing someone for those nightmares? PTSD is a really serious thing." There was nothing but kind concern in the nurse's face as Beca sighed softly.

"I was… they haven't been that bad in months." Beca grumbled, "I guess all this just brought it back."

Before the nurse could say anything else, Beca's phone beeped with a text message, Beca listless as she pulled it out of her pocket. It was from Chloe.

Chloe.

Beca's heart leapt into her throat as she read the message. She scanned it again before hurriedly getting to her feet, running a hand through her hair.

"Um… I have to go. It's an emergency. Will you tell her that I didn't just abandon her, it's Chloe I have to go." Beca asked the nurse who was looking at her with concern.

"Of course." The nurse nodded, "I think her wife is coming back soon anyway. Don't worry about her."

Beca mumbled her thanks, dashing through the ICU as she felt her heart run a mile a minute, phone clutched tight in her hand.

'I'm sorry. For everything. You've been so kind to me Beca. I'm sorry.'

She should never have left Chloe.

Beca let herself into Chloe's house, immediately greeted by the sound of Emma wailing. It set off more alarm bells for Beca as she took the stairs two at a time, ignoring the pain that flared in her hip as she did.

Chloe would never just leave Emma to cry. They'd had a fight just the other week when Beca had suggested Ferberizing.

Beca entered the nursery, feeling odd to walk in unattended. Chloe still never left her alone with Emma, was still weird about Beca even holding her. But Beca couldn't Emma's cries and gently lifted the ten month old from her crib. Emma started to settle a little as Beca gently bounced her in her arms, shushing her softly.

"Hey kiddo, it's okay." Beca whispered into the whisps of dark hair on Emma's head, "I've got you. Let's go find your momma yeah?"

Beca made her way to Chloe's bedroom, fear running rampant in her body as she tried to focus on the smell of Emma's head rather than what could await her in the next room. Emma had settled with her head on Beca's shoulder, as comfortable in her presence as she was her mother's given how much of her life she had been there for.

"Chloe?" Beca called out as she opened the bedroom door, soft as not to disturb Emma again despite the fact she wanted to shout and scream until she responded.

"Chloe?" The bedroom looked empty, bed made neatly, room undisturbed. That sent a shiver down Beca's spine as she walked around the bed. Nothing. No Chloe.

Beca saw the ensuite bathroom door was ajar and swallowed hard, gently setting Emma down on the bed, a pillow nested either side of her to stop her from rolling off as she slept. She pushed the door open with a shaky hand, not noticing the envelope on the end of the bed.

Oh no.

"Chloe?!"