They walked out of the hospital together - Abby, Luka and Neela - and headed the short walk to Ryan's for a bite to eat. They had just settled and ordered when Luka's pager sounded. He checked it and went to make a phone call.
"Ahhhh...I've got to go back for a bit," he complained as he came back for his jacket. "They're wrapping my sandwich so I can take it with me." He kissed Abby. "See you at home?" Abby nodded and watched him stop at the bar to pick up the take out bag and then waved as he left. She turned back to Neela who had been watching their exchange. Neela sighed, picked up her drink and took a hefty swallow.
"So, how do we get through all of this, Abby?" Abby eyed the drink glass and then glanced back at her friend.
"Are you working tomorrow?" she asked. Neela shook her head.
"Nope," she said. "I'm off for the next two days in fact. Dubenko's orders."
"Smart man," Abby said and leaned back as a bit as the waiter put a large salad bowl in front of her.
"About some things," Neela shrugged. "Could I have another one of these, please?" She tapped her glass and the waiter nodded. Neela picked at the wrap sandwich in front of her and sighed.
"How do you do it?" she asked again. Abby chuckled.
"Neela, you took the same psych classes I did. You know all about the stages of grief." Neela chuckled and took another drink.
"So what stage are you in these days?" Abby frowned slightly at her and sat back in her chair. Neela sighed.
"Oh bullocks, I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That was thoughtless of me." Abby leaned forward and squeezed her hand.
"We'll get through it," she said. "I promise."
"I don't know if I can," Neela said as tears brimmed over her eyelids. "It's lonely. No one around me really understands. I hate Michael right now. It breaks my heart but I hate him." She picked up her glass and tossed the alcohol to the back of her throat. Abby studied her for a moment and then picked up her fork.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Neela said. "Aren't you going to scold me for hating someone that would give his life for this country? Don't you hate me for feeling like this about him? A bloody hero?"
"Oh, I think you're doing a fine job hating yourself," Abby said as she took a bite of her salad. "You don't really need my help." Neela scowled and picked up her glass again.
"I do know that that isn't going to make you feel better," Abby nodded toward the glass.
"But it does," Neela said. "I feel...numb."
"Yeah, well...call me in the morning and let me know how you feel."
"I will do that, Dr. Lockhart," Neela spit sarcastically. "Or should I say Dr. Kovac? Are you planning to use your husband's name these days?"
"Oh, I think Abby will do," she said brightly and took another bite. "Eat something, Neela." Neela scowled at her and picked up her sandwich. She took a bite and chewed. Abby smiled.
An hour later Abby used the key to open the door of her old apartment. She followed Neela inside and slipped her coat off her shoulders. She threw it down on the couch and looked around. The furniture was the same. It had been rented with the apartment when she'd had it. Neela had definitely madethe placeher own in the past few months. It was a weird kind of feeling considering all of the years she had spent here before her. Neela flipped through the mail she had carried in and then dropped the envelopes onto the table.
'Want something to drink?" she asked. Abby shook her head.
"I thought I'd get the coffeemaker going," she said. Neela nodded.
"I'm going to take a shower." She looked at her friend. 'You don't really have to stay with me, you know. I'll be fine."
"I want to," Abby said. "We have some catching up to do and Luka will probably be at the hospital most of the night anyway." Neela nodded. She stopped at the bedroom door and turned around.
"Michael isn't here," she said. "In this apartment, I mean. At Ray's, he was everywhere...the bathroom...the kitchen...my bed. I can even see him at the hospital sometimes. But I can't feel him here at all."
"Maybe that's a good thing," Abby said quietly. Neela nodded sadly and went into the bedroom. Abby listened for the shower to start and then took her cell phone out of her purse. She pushed the speed dial for Luka's number and waited for him to answer.
"Where are you?" Luka said without waiting for her to speak. "I just got home and was looking for you."
"I'm at Neela's," she said. "I think I need to stay with her for the night." There was nothing on the other end.
"I'll make it up to you?" shewheedled quietly.
"How?" he said. Abby supressed a grin. "How are you going to make it up to me?"
"Oh, I'm sure we can think of something," she said.
"Are you going to..."
"Shut up!" she giggled. "Would you please just bring me some fresh clothes when you come to the hospital tomorrow? My navy slacks are hanging in the closet."
"Can I pick out the underwear?"
"Luka!"
"Well, I was thinking about that black thing...the teddy?"
"Oh, yeah...that one would be real comfortable to wear all day...not!"
"Soo...I'll take it off for you." Abby shook her head and grinned. This conversation was only going to get worse.
"Good night, Luka." He chuckled.
"I'll miss you," he sighed softly.
"Me too..." Abby smiled and turned off the cell phone.