A/N: Did I say before HBP? Ahem. My sincerest apologies. I lost my thread and this turned out a little rough and jumpy. I hope you aren't too confused by mentions of British politics/Royalty in this chapter. Next chapter will be better. I promise it'll also be out quicker and that it will have actual plot progression. Yes, there is a plot somewhere around here.
Chapter 10
Alicia had long ago accepted the fact that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. When Jordy was born, Fred and Angelina had proclaimed him the most beautiful thing in the world. To Alicia he looked like every other newborn baby: small, pink and wrinkled. Some people found beauty in a Picasso or a Dali, whilst she preferred Da Vinci or Monet. Some people even found beauty in the poetry of Keats and Wordsworth but thought Shakespeare rather droll. It was all a matter of subjectivity.
What Alicia didn't know was whether or not the same theory could be applied to sex. If a bloke had the sexual prowess of a flobberworm, would all women agree? Alternatively, could there simply be degrees of crapness? Was there a universal standard that all men should be held to? For instance, if you don't scream like a banshee then something must be wrong?
Alicia had no answer to any of these questions and simply thinking about them was giving her a headache. It was almost enough to make one want to take a vow of celibacy. She had a sudden flashback to the previous night. Well. Almost enough. As she dwelled on the memory she walked right into a rose bush.
"Ah, crap," she squealed as she got snagged on half a dozen thorns at once.
It was one minute and umpteen scratches before she got herself completely untangled. That ought to teach her to watch where she was going.
"And to cut back the roses," she said guiltily, eyeing the over grown thing. It was sprawled and bedraggled, threatening to take over the entire garden path. She would get Lee to prune it as payment for letting him stay at her place.
Alicia made it to the front door without being accosted by any more plants and twisted her key in the lock. She let herself into her house and dropped her overnight bag by the door. All she wanted to do was sleep and let her mind take a break for a while. Yawning, she kicked off her shoes and stumbled into her bedroom. Somewhere in the distance she could hear Lee singing 'Wouldn't It Be Loverly?', complete with cockney accent.
Alicia stopped short when she saw her bed. A Weasley twin – Fred by the look of it – was sprawled out on his stomach, snoring loudly. Alicia went and poked him a couple of times but all he did was grunt and snuffle like a wild boar.
Thoroughly sick of men by this point, Alicia stomped towards the kitchen. Lee was sitting at the kitchen table singing into his spoon and for some inexplicable reason he has wearing a red beret. Alicia decided she wasn't even going to ask.
"Ah, good morning, sunshine," Lee said jovially, making her suspect that he was still rather drunk.
"There's a Weasley in my bed," she snapped.
"There's one on the sofa as well."
"My house is not a backpacker hostel."
"So you keep saying. Did you like the hotel room?"
"You're an idiot."
Lee frowned. "That wasn't the reaction I was expecting. What happened?"
"It's none of your business."
"Righto."
Lee began to hum in between mouthfuls of cornflakes. Alicia watched him for a second, wondering if he was high as well as drunk. Her stomach growled so she reached across and snatched the bowl away from him. He dutifully handed her the spoon.
"Work up an appetite?" he asked.
"None of your business," she repeated.
"Quite right."
They sat in silence for several minutes. When Alicia had finished eating she sighed loudly and pushed the empty bowl back across the table. Lee got up and put the bowl in the sink and rinsed it out. Still humming, he opened the window and took a deep breath of the cool morning air.
"Lovely day, isn't it?"
"Positively Wordsworthian," Alicia answered tonelessly.
Lee turned back to her. "What have we said about you making up words?"
"Go somewhere else please. I don't have the energy to get into a thing with you right now."
Alicia could already see it coming. Lee smirked at her. "Up all night were you?"
"Go to hell."
"Hey, I'm being polite and cheerful here and you aren't being very grateful."
"I know that your sudden cheerfulness and acquisition of manners has nothing to do with me," Alicia said. "Sophie wants you back, doesn't she?"
"Sophie and I are ancient history. I did hear from an old friend last night though. We're going to meet up tonight," Lee said
"A female friend you've shagged, no doubt."
He grinned a sort of predatory smile. "Her name's Anna and she's a ballerina. A ballerina, Leesh. She can put her feet behind her freaking head!"
"Wow. I hope the Nobel Prize judges have been notified. An achievement of that magnitude mustn't go unrewarded," Alicia said, her voice so caustic that it almost burnt her throat.
"All right, what's wrong?"
"I'm tired and I want to go to sleep but Fred's drooling all over my pillow."
Lee pulled out the chair beside her and sat down. He leant towards her, doing his best to appear comforting and earnest. "There's more to it than that. You know you can tell me anything."
"Like hell I can! You treat everything as if it's a joke."
"No I don't. I can be serious," he insisted, straightening up and frowning intently.
Alicia eyed him doubtfully. "That statement would be a lot more convincing if you weren't wearing only Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle boxers and a beret when you said it."
Lee stood up and pulled at the waistband of his boxers. "Fine, I'll take them off, but you know this is a really underhanded way to get me naked. All you'd have to do is ask."
Alicia put her hands over her faced and groaned. "There! You're doing it right now. I'm going to have to talk to one of my grown up friends about this."
He sat back down and grabbed her shoulder. "Terribly sorry, sugar. That was a slight lapse and I promise it won't happen again. Tell Lee what you're feeling. Come on, don't be shy."
"Well, I'm bloody confused at the moment."
"Ok, confused about what?"
Alicia couldn't quite bring herself to say it. Lee was one of her best friends, but it was still a little embarrassing. Instead, she decided to approach indirectly. "Has a woman you've slept with ever told you you're a crap shag?"
Lee half laughed then remembered he was meant to be serious. He cleared his throat importantly. "One or two may have said it, but that was only after I'd broken it off with them. They never complained at the time. Did you have a complaint?"
Alicia didn't answer that because it would just encourage him. He was managing to stay fairly serious so far. "I'm asking only because I want to know if two woman can have a different estimation of a man."
Lee began to look a little panicked, his thoughtful expression replaced by a worried one. "Have you heard something? Has someone said I'm a lousy shag? Are you saying I'm a lousy shag?"
"It's not even about you, idiot!"
"Then who are you on about? Who's the rubbish shag if it isn't me?"
"I don't think I want to have this conversation with you anymore." Alicia dropped her eyes to her lap. It took him almost five seconds to work it out.
As soon as it clicked into place, Lee dug his fingernails into the palms of his hand to stop himself laughing. "Harry's the crap shag."
Alicia glared up at him with fiery eyes. "No he's not! Don't you dare say that about him!"
"Touchy," he muttered.
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with Harry!"
Lee held up a placating hand. "Relax. I never said anything was wrong with him."
"Stupid Danni said there was," she sneered.
"Ah, now we're getting somewhere. So Danni says Harry isn't good but you think he is."
"That's the crux of it," Alicia mumbled, turning an unattractive shade of puce. She hadn't meant to get so defensive. "Is something wrong with me? Do I not know what good sex is?"
"Everyone's different," he soothed. "You can't really compare yourself to a woman who's had half the wizarding population. She's desensitised."
"But wouldn't she be more likely to know good from bad?"
"Listen to me carefully. If it was good for you then leave it at that. Don't worry about what Danni or anyone else says."
Alicia knew that he made perfect sense. She'd tried to tell herself the same thing. "I just can't stop wondering about it though."
Lee nodded at her sympathetically. "That's understandable. You know, Danni probably told Harry that as a way to keep him from straying. He's unlikely to cheat if he has no confidence in himself, right? It was her insurance policy."
"I bet she also just liked to watch him squirm." Alicia clenched her hands into fists at the thought of a young Harry being demeaned in such a way. It had to be a huge blow to the confidence of a teenage boy to be told something like that. Not to mention that Harry always had been quite sensitive to criticism.
"So Danni's the one with the problem, not you."
"Yeah. You're right," Alicia said firmly, standing up. "Nothing's wrong with Harry or me. Danni's the psycho."
"That's the spirit!" Lee cheered. "Down to business now. Was he better than me?"
"As if I'd tell you that."
"On a scale of one to ten? One being Kieran and ten being me?"
"Conversation's over," she declared, tugging at one of his dreadlocks affectionately. "I'm quite proud of you for managing to be serious for so long. You actually helped solve the problem, rather than adding to it like you normally do. Thanks."
Lee stood up and stretched languidly. "Anytime, sugar. So did you at least assure Harry that he did a good job?"
"Not really. I didn't mention it for ages after he initially panicked. We just talked about inane stuff for a while and then he suddenly kissed me. He was fine after that, but I didn't want to put him off by bringing it back up. The next morning things were slightly awkward and we didn't say much to each other at all."
"Ah."
Alicia's eyes widened at the utterance of that syllable. "What?"
"Huh?"
"That 'ah'! I know that ah! That's the you've-totally-screwed-it-up ah. What did I do wrong this time?"
"Just remember that I can't read the kid's mind," Lee said hesitantly.
"Stop calling Harry a kid and spit it out. What have I done?"
"From what you've told me I can only assume that Harry thinks last night didn't go very well. That's what he's most likely to think given what happened with Danni. Unless he hears otherwise from you he'll assume last night was awful for you."
It seemed obvious when Lee said it that way. Alicia realised she should have said something at the time. Perhaps that was why he was so quiet in the morning. That vow of celibacy was beginning to look better and better.
"Ok. I haven't done too much damage," Alicia said slowly. "Really, it's nothing that can't be fixed with a letter full of superlatives and exclamation marks." Lee winced slightly. Alicia caught the look immediately. "For Merlin's sake, what now?"
"Don't you think a letter would be a little too impersonal? He'd accept it a lot better face to face."
Lee was right again. It had to be a record of some sort. "Ok. I'll go and see him this afternoon. I have to go buy a microwave then sort out my mail issues at the Ministry first."
"Oh, that reminds me, you had a visitor last night," Lee said, sticking his head into a cupboard in search of food.
"Who was it?"
"Your sister."
Alicia froze on the spot. "Er, which sister, Lee?"
"Mackenzie."
"Oh God." Alicia pressed her hand to her forehead. She'd spent her whole life trying to keep Lee and Mackenzie apart on the assumption that having two of the biggest flirts in Britain in the same place would tear a hole in the fabric of space and time. "What did she want?"
Lee quirked an eyebrow at her. "You mean apart from me?"
"Oh no. Please tell me you didn't."
"Oh yeah, we shagged right there on your welcome mat." Lee rolled eyes. "At least give me some credit. She's your little sister. Your hot little sister…"
"Don't."
"She came to tell you that you're expected at a family dinner at six tonight," Lee said, his tone amused. "Oh, she also says she's insanely jealous and that she wants all the details about Harry. All the details."
Alicia narrowed her eyes. "Is that her emphasis or yours?"
"Hers. She also mentioned that your dad saw the picture on the front of yesterday's Prophet."
"I didn't even see yesterday's paper. What was the picture of?" Alicia asked anxiously.
"You and Harry kissing at the Harpies' after party apparently. I heard it was quite raunchy."
"Raunchy?" she squeaked. Her father hated raunchy. He found The Bill too raunchy. Alicia was really going to be in for it tonight. "Will you come with me tonight?" she asked sweetly.
Lee shook his head and bit into a biscuit. "Got a date with Anna the ballerina, remember?"
Alicia pouted. "You'd choose some woman over your best friend?"
"If that woman can put her feet behind her head, then unequivocally yes."
"God. Anyone can put their feet behind their head. My family is going to tear me apart! They're going to demand to know everything and I don't think I'm ready for that amount of scrutiny," Alicia said as her heart began to pound erratically.
"Stop worrying. You'll give yourself a stomach ulcer," Lee said, his mouth full of biscuit. He hugged her tightly, spitting crumbs into her hair in the process. "Just tell them the truth and everything will be fine. If they know that you really care about him then they can't dispute the relationship."
"They can and they will. You've met my dad before, Lee."
He shuddered involuntarily. "Yeah, and I've been trying to repress the memory for years. Count yourself lucky Harry isn't going to be there as well. That would be ten times as awkward."
Alicia nodded to herself and took a deep breath. Yeah. She could take anything her family had to throw at her. She would take most of the heat before Harry had to inevitably meet everyone. Alternatively, she and Harry could go and live on a small Greek island and never have to see her family at all.
She was picturing herself frolicking on a beach with a sun-browned Harry when Fred and George came into the kitchen. They looked crumpled and tired and were still wearing their clothes from yesterday. The strange thing was that Fred had a pink scarf around his neck and George was wearing a pair of pale yellow mittens.
"I hope you three didn't steal those things," Alicia said sternly.
"Stealing is dishonourable and we'd never do it," George said, holding up a mittened hand in oath.
"Is that so? What about the time you stole a bunch of ceramic garden gnomes from my neighbours' yards and hid them in my bed?"
Lee laughed appreciatively. "Wicked. You guys never told me you did that."
Alicia tossed a scowl over her shoulder at him. "It wasn't funny. I almost had a heart attack when I pulled back the covers to go to sleep. I think you had better tell me right now where you got all of those things from."
"If you must know," Fred said, throwing the scarf over his shoulder haughtily, "the beret, scarf and mittens are all cashmere and they were sent to you by some famous designer who hoped you would wear her stuff when you went out with Harry. George and I are going to give the scarf and mittens to our mother for her birthday."
"Here, you can have the beret," Lee said generously, thrusting it onto her head.
Alicia sighed. She really needed to get some new friends. "I'm going to take a shower and if any of you try to come into the bathroom I'll throw things at you."
"Oh, don't be a party pooper, Leesh," George said sulkily. "Lee leaves in a few days so this could be the last time the four of us have breakfast together in a long time."
"We'll make bacon and eggs," Fred added.
That clinched it for Alicia. She set her beret at a rakish angle and smiled. "I'd like my eggs scrambled, please."
Breakfast with the boys turned out to be fun. It was so much fun, in fact, that Fred and George ended up leaving late for work and Alicia forgot about her trouble with Harry. When she was alone in the shower it bubbled back to the surface of her mind. It seemed the real issue was whether or not she was serious about Harry. If she truly wanted to make the relationship work she would have to go and talk to him. If she didn't want a relationship she could quite easily sever all ties with him now.
As she dressed she considered both options. No Harry: Go back to eating TV dinners alone every Saturday night. Harry as boyfriend: Spend Saturday night at a dinner party with the Minister for Magic before returning home to shag.
Not much of a contest, really.
Alicia pulled her shirt over her head and surveyed herself in the mirror. She was dating Harry Potter. Suddenly the whole thing was hysterical and she found herself unable to stop laughing. It was one of those weird moments when you stop and evaluate where your life has gone. Alicia had no idea what she had done in a previous life to deserve Harry's attention, but she was glad she had done it.
The first pangs of something stirred in her as she smiled at her own reflection. It could have been love, but Alicia couldn't be sure. She wasn't even certain that she had ever been in love. The thing with Kieran had been more like a mixture of awe and the blind devotion of a teenage girl. She hadn't known at the time that there were men in the world who were better than Kieran. Now that she had a little more experience, she could appreciate just how exceptional Harry really was.
It wasn't a saving the world thing, either. She teased him about his Galahad complex sometimes, but there was more to him than that.
Alicia shook herself out of her daydream and began to brush her teeth. It was one thing to think about this stuff alone in the bathroom, but it was another thing entirely to say it to Harry's face. That was what she had to do, however. Harry needed to be reassured that he was worthy of anyone's affection again.
Alicia made a vow at that moment to do her best to undo all the damage that Danni had done to him.
xxxxx
Ron stared blankly at his best mate. "What do you mean you don't know?"
"I don't know."
"It either went well or it didn't."
Harry shrugged. "I think it went all right."
"You think?"
Hermione swept by on her way to the fireplace. "Oh, give him a break, Ron. If he doesn't know, then he simply doesn't know. You're going to be late to work if you don't get moving."
"All right." Ron groaned and left the living room.
"Are you going to go see Alicia today?" Hermione asked, immediately dropping into Ron's vacated seat.
"So much for giving me a break," Harry said wryly.
"Just answer the question."
"No. I'm not going to go see her. I reckon I'd be better off just waiting for her to come to me. That way I'll know what she really feels about me."
Hermione frowned at this. "I thought you cared about her and wanted to make this whole thing work?"
"I do," Harry said.
"Then go talk to her and let her know exactly how you feel," Hermione advised.
As logical as that was, the notion frightened Harry. "But if I wait for her to come to me first I'll at least know that the feeling's mutual."
"What if she's at home thinking the exact same thing?" Hermione asked. "You'd both miss out on something that could be great."
Harry twisted his hands in his lap hesitantly. "What if it ends up being excruciatingly heartbreaking?"
"Carpe diem!" Hermione exclaimed, slapping Harry on the thigh.
"Ow."
"Seize the day, Harry, because, frankly, you're lucky just to be alive. Don't sit on your hands and wait for things to happen." She glanced at her watch and squeaked in surprise. She planted a quick kiss on his cheek then jumped up. "Christ. I'm going to be late for work. Do whatever you want, but don't think Ron and I are going to let you mope around the house for a month because you miss her."
Hermione snatched up a pile of parchments at the same time as she grabbed a handful of Floo powder. "Technically, you don't even live here so you have no right to complain about my moping," Harry reminded her pertly.
"That's right, I don't live here. Remember that the next time you ask me to clean the house."
"Touché," Harry said with an appreciative nod.
Hermione tossed him a grin then threw her Floo powder into the fireplace. He watched her disappear into the swirling flames then stood up. He was at a loss for a moment. It was always like this during the Quidditch off-season. All he did was lie around the house or go annoy his friends who were actually still trying to work.
Harry's schedule was wide open so there was really no reason for him not go see Alicia. Without Quidditch she would probably be at a loss as well. They could spend the day in London, or just stay at her house. Of course, that all depended on whether or not she even wanted to see him again. His tale of woe could very well have sent her running for the hills.
It was a story he had never told anyone before and he wasn't even sure why he told Alicia about it. Harry wasn't very up on relationship etiquette, but he didn't think it was helpful to bring up the quality of the sex with your ex-girlfriend. In the end, he'd probably just wanted to warn her in advance so she wouldn't be shocked…or disappointed.
Harry wasn't sure what had happened the previous night, but he was determined to find out one way or another. Now that he had a mission, he hurried off to get dressed. He would go and see Alicia and ask her straight out.
xxxxx
Harry groaned and entered an office in the Ministry. No one seemed to have any idea where Alicia was. Lee had said something about her buying a microwave and going to the Ministry to fix her mail issues. Needless to say, he had no idea where she would go to find a microwave.
"Harry! We don't know you were coming in today. We don't have your mail sorted for you," squeaked a familiar voice.
"It's ok, Colin, I'm here looking for someone."
Colin Creevey, who was the closest thing Harry had to a personal assistant, relaxed visibly. "Who are you looking for? I'll find them in no time."
"Has Alicia Spinnet been in here today asking about her mail?"
"Your girlfriend?" Colin asked, smiling coyly.
Harry didn't even want to think about the g word. "Er, yeah. Have you seen her?"
"No. Lost her already?"
Harry shrugged and stared out the window. The simulated weather was pleasant for once. "It would seem so. I can't even owl her because her mail comes here now."
"If she comes in I'll tell her you're looking for her."
"Colin!"
Harry managed to step back just before Dennis Creevey came sliding into the room. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he spotted Harry. "Did you already know about it?" he demanded excitedly.
"About what?" Harry asked wearily. It was going to be one of those days.
Dennis thrust a piece of paper at him with barely contained glee.
Dear Mr Potter,
My name is Laura Spinnet. My husband Tom and I wish to invite you to a family dinner at our house tonight. Now that you are dating our daughter we feel it's only right that we should all meet. We would appreciate it if you would arrive precisely at six. We are all looking forward to meeting you.
Sincerely,
Laura Spinnet.
Harry suddenly felt very ill. Dinner with Alicia's family? The letter didn't even say if Alicia was going to be there. What if they expected him to be alone? He had a feeling that would end up more like an interrogation than a dinner.
"Are you going to say yes?" Dennis asked.
"It doesn't sound like I have much of a choice. I really need to talk to Alicia about it, though." Harry fought the urge to panic and checked his watch. It was just after eleven. That left plenty of time. "Right. I'll try Fred and George first. If Alicia shows up here will you tell that I'm looking for her?"
"Of course."
"Thanks, guys."
Harry's next stop was Fred and George's shop. He entered and ducked the spray of water. Unfortunately, it hit the unsuspecting witch behind him square in the face.
"Bull's eye!" George shouted, jumping out from behind a shelf.
The affronted witch swore at him then turned and strode right back out of the shop. George shrugged. "Oh well. You win some and you lose some."
"You know, you wouldn't lose so many customers if you just got a bell like everyone else."
"The shrieks of surprise work better than any bell. Besides, we don't want anyone in here who doesn't have a sense of humour." George threw his arm around Harry's shoulder companionably. "So what brings you here today?"
"I'm looking for Alicia. Have you seen her today?"
"Had breakfast with her this morning. Why?" George asked as he straightened out some of the stock shelves they passed. "Did you do something to her?"
Harry pushed the Weasley twin away from him. "No. I just need to talk to her and I can't get a letter to her."
"Well, she did say she was going to buy a micro-thingy today."
"A microwave. Lee already told me. Do you have any idea where she was going to buy it?"
George shrugged. "The microwave shop?"
Harry took a deep breath and again fought the urge to panic. "Microwaves are sold alongside other Muggle appliances in dozens of different stores. Look, does she have a mobile phone?"
"A what?"
"It's just like a normal telephone except that you can take it with you when you go out," he explained.
"Ooh. That sounds handy. Perhaps I should get one. How much are-"
"George."
"I've no idea if she has one."
"Just great," Harry sighed.
Together they approached the front counter where Fred was serving some customers as Angelina counted through a box of fake wands. "Why are you so desperate to see Alicia anyway?" George asked.
"Her parents have invited me to dinner tonight."
Fred and Angelina both looked up at him in shock. Angelina then stomped her foot because she had lost count. "Uh oh," Fred muttered.
"It's not a big deal. I'd have to meet them eventually anyway."
"You're actually gonna go?" George asked incredulously.
"I don't have a choice. If I don't go Alicia will think it's because I'm not committed to her. It'll be better in the long run if I just go now," Harry said.
"Er, has Leesh mentioned her parents to you before?" Angelina asked.
"No." Harry looked from one apprehensive face to the next. "All right. What's wrong? Is there something about her parents that I should know?"
"I think you'd be better off talking to Alicia about it."
"That would be a good idea, except I can't find her!"
"Well, Alicia's parents are…" Angelina began.
"Bloody nuts," Fred finished for her.
"I was trying to be gentle about it," she scolded. "They are pretty frightening, though. You shouldn't go in there unprepared."
Harry didn't even bother to quell his panic this time. "What should I know about them? Why are they nuts? Should I talk to Alicia first? Should I even go tonight?"
"Relax. All you should know is that Alicia's mother is a bit of a perfectionist," Angelina said.
"Is that all?" Harry asked, relaxing a notch. "I practically live with Hermione. I know how to handle perfectionists."
"It's really her father you want to watch out for, anyway," George said.
"Yeah. He'll tear you to pieces," Fred added helpfully.
"Really?" Harry gulped. He'd never had to deal with his girlfriends' parents before. He'd already been very close to Mr Weasley and Mrs Weasley and Danni's parents were both dead. "What should I do?"
"Well, he really likes that old bird who lives in that big house and has all those fat little dogs."
"Who?"
"You know, the Muggles always sing that song about her
Harry gaped at them. "Are you talking about the Queen of England?"
"That's the one. Alicia's father loves her. Don't say anything bad about her."
Harry wasn't sure that he had ever wanted to say anything bad about the Queen. Still, he filed that information away in his mind. "What else do I need to know?"
"Her father's very old-fashioned," Angelina said. "Be polite and formal and always call him sir. What are your table manners like?"
"Pretty much non-existent," he admitted.
"I'll give you a crash course," George offered kindly.
"Yeah right, Weasley. I'm willing to bet your table manners are worse than Harry's." Angelina thrust the box of wands towards the offended looking twin. "You count and I'll take Harry upstairs."
"No funny business with my fiancée, Potter!" Fred called after them as Angelina led Harry upstairs to the flat.
"Just ignore him," Angelina advised. "If you can pull this diner off, Alicia will be very impressed. She's only ever introduced George and Kieran to her family. Both pretty much ran screaming. If you can keep your cool tonight you'll earn yourself a few more gold stars."
Harry nodded thoughtfully. He had a feeling he could do with a few more gold stars.
xxxxx
As Angelina was teaching Harry some table manners, Alicia was visiting Katie. She'd already arranged to have her microwave delivered to her house, so before she went to the Ministry she decided to drop by and see how Katie was doing.
Apparently she wasn't doing so well.
"What's wrong?" Alicia demanded. Katie had answered the door in tears. What freaked Alicia out more was the fact that she was still wearing her pyjamas and it was almost midday. Katie was not the lazing around type at all.
"I hate George!" she shrieked in reply.
Alicia hugged her haphazardly around her swollen stomach. "It's all right. We all hate George at some point in our lives. Let's go inside and you can tell me what he's done this time."
Katie sniffed pitifully and nodded. They went into the living room and Alicia sat down on the sofa. Katie lay down with her head in her friend's lap. Alicia brushed her hair out of her face and asked, "What happened?"
"He won't let me go back to work!"
"Hon, you're in your third trimester, you need to start taking it easy. Being on maternity leave means that you don't go into work."
"Since the Harpies won the Cup it's been chaotic at work. They need me there to liase with the press. Stupid George won't let me go!"
"It's all right," Alicia soothed. "He's only looking out for you. Even your doctor said that you needed to lower your stress levels. Being at work won't help calm you down. What's more important to you, your baby or your job?"
"Baby," Katie mumbled.
"Then do what George and your doctor say. Sit at home and relax or come and visit me. Just don't try anything too strenuous. If you want a healthy baby you need to stay calm and healthy as well. George is only worried about you because of what happened last time."
Katie had initially been pregnant at the same time that Angelina was pregnant with Jordy. Unfortunately, Katie had miscarried and become depressed. No one wanted that to happen again.
"I love George," Katie whispered.
Alicia grinned. "We all love George at some point in our lives."
"What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be with Harry?"
"I probably should be, but I'm in a bit of a predicament. I think it's one that you can help me out of."
"I'll do anything," Katie said immediately. "What do you need?"
"I need the book," Alicia said.
"Which book?"
"The book, Katie, I need the book."
Katie rolled onto her back and stared up at her friend. "What makes you think I have the book?"
"Come on, I know you too well for that. I really need to borrow it. Pleeeease?" she begged.
"There's a stack of books under my bed." Katie sat up and sighed. "Don't you dare tell anyone."
"Does George know?"
"Of course he does. He finds the whole thing hilarious. He even got the book signed for me."
Alicia giggled. "That ought to have been an interesting moment. Wish I could have been there."
Katie swatted at her half-heartedly. "Just hurry up and get the book. I need to get dressed so I can go apologise to George for yelling at him this morning…and last night."
Alicia jumped up and rushed to Katie's bedroom. She dropped to her knees and stuck her head underneath the bed. A stack of half a dozen books caught her attention. She pulled them out from under the bed and sneezed as a flurry of dust swept up her nose. Fighting the urge to giggle, she spread the books out on the floor in front of her and looked at each one in turn.
The Man Behind The Scar. Destiny Fulfilled. The Gryffindor Legacy. The Secret Life Of Harry J. Potter. Harry Potter: Tortured Soul.
Man, she'd have to read through those books if she was ever in need of a laugh one day. Biographies about Harry tended to focus on either his heroicness or his heartbreaking isolation. Not that Alicia had ever personally read any of them. Having known him at school she didn't buy into the portrayal of him as a tragic hero. Sure, he'd had his brooding moments, but he'd also been a happy kid. The burden of his life must have been unbearable at times, but Alicia couldn't picture him as the reticent martyr that these biographers described him as.
Katie, on the other hand, was a romantic and a Potter-fancier from way back. Unlike Alicia, she'd grown up in a strongly magical household and had been told bedtime stories about The Boy Who Lived. Alicia still remembered how much Katie squealed the day that she found out Harry was going to be on the Quidditch team. It wasn't too hard to imagine her having a few books about him.
Alicia, however, was only interested in one book. It was the last of the lot and was the only one not to have Harry's face on the front cover. It was a plain black, hardcover book with the words In My Own Words written across the front in gold lettering.
Harry's autobiography. It had been released about a year ago to put to bed some of the rumours surrounding Voldemort's defeat. Alicia hadn't read it, but Harry was supposed to have been very frank about his life. He didn't dress anything up or tone anything down to make it easier to handle. This was Harry unedited and uncensored.
Alicia was suddenly dying to read it. Just about every wizarding household in Britain had a copy of the book, yet Alicia had never bothered to read it. Now she wanted to learn more about him. It was frightening to think that some sixteen-year-old girl knew more about her boyfriend than she did. There were parts of his life that she didn't know about or understand. She needed to know what he had been through so she was prepared.
Of course, she couldn't just walk into Flourish and Blotts and ask for a copy now that the whole world knew she was dating him. She'd likely be laughed out of the store.
Alicia brushed some dust from the book and opened it. Sure enough, Harry had scrawled his name on the inside cover. She also noticed that Katie had turned down the corner of one of the pages, so she turned to it. This page was evidently about Quidditch at Hogwarts. She skimmed through it quickly.
There was a paragraph about each person he had played with. Harry thanked Oliver for teaching him Quidditch and noted that Angelina was still the scariest Quidditch Captain/Coach he had ever played under. Alicia smiled and nodded in agreement with that. Harry went on to thank Katie for helping him through his first year as Captain and the twins for protecting him from Bludgers and keeping him from getting a big head. Alicia was the last one he mentioned.
Alicia Spinnet was the third Chaser in my first five years on the team. She helped me in her own way. When Oliver and Angelina were at their craziest she would always be there to create this buffer zone around me. There were a number of times when she talked Oliver out of making me do dangerous things. I'm sure she also helped keep Angelina calm the year I got banned from Quidditch. Alicia always did things in her own quiet, but intense way.
Alicia closed the book with a wistful sigh. It was odd to think that she had known Harry since she was thirteen. At Hogwarts they had been little more than ships passing in the night.
"All right, Leesh?" Katie asked from the doorway.
"Fine." Alicia stood up and clutched the book to her chest. "I was just thinking about how strange life can be sometimes."
"I'm going to have George Weasley's baby. The same George Weasley who used to test joke products on me and call me Blondie. How's that for strange?"
"Ah, that's not so strange. You two were meant to be together. Harry and I – that's a little harder to predict."
"Well, you'll never know if you don't give it a try," Katie said.
"That's what I'm going to do…right after I drop by the Ministry. Wish me luck, Kat." Alicia kissed her on the cheek and patted her stomach.
Katie shook her head and winked. "You don't need luck."
Alicia took her wand out of her handbag and pictured herself in the atrium of the Ministry. In a matter of seconds she was there amidst a crowd of workers rushing off to lunch. It took her a second to get her bearings. Just as she put Harry's autobiography safely into her bag, someone ran into her.
"Watch where you're going, girlie!"
Alicia turned around to tell the culprit that she hadn't done anything. The man, however, took one look at her, apologised, then rushed off. The scuffle was noticed by passers by, who slowed down and stared avidly at Alicia. Everyone who walked by seemed to be fascinated.
Alicia surreptitiously wiped her face with her sleeve. Why was everyone looking at her? Did she have food on her face or had her makeup smeared? Did she have something caught in her teeth? That wasn't likely. Katie would have told her.
"I swear, that's her!" someone whispered loudly.
Alicia looked at her watch and, pretending to be late for something, she hurried off. All eyes followed her. Everyone was looking at her and whispering behind their hands. They were saying the most dreadful things about her. She ducked around a corner and slumped against the wall. In her excitement about finding the book, she'd momentarily forgotten that the entire world was now privy to her relationship with Harry.
Her face, now instantly recognisable, had been plastered over every newspaper in the country. Some portrayed her favourably, others chose not to. Alicia had always disliked being stared at or talked about. That was part of the reason why she'd chosen not to become a professional Quidditch player.
"There she is."
Alicia looked up. She'd been followed. Three women were peeking around the corner and whispering to each other frantically. Feeling her stomach heave, Alicia hurried off down the corridor. The only sound for a moment was the echo of her footsteps. Slowly, more footsteps were heard. There were dozens of them, getting faster and faster. They were following her!
There was no way Alicia could go through this by herself. She drew her wand out of her pocket and Disapparated. Frankly, she was so overwrought that it was a miracle she made it to Harry's house without splinching herself. She knocked on the door for a few minutes, but got no response. He had to be home soon, she reasoned.
Alicia settled down on the front steps and took out Harry's book.
xxxxx
What transpired for the next few hours was a comedy of errors worthy of Shakespeare himself. As Alicia sat on his front steps, Harry sat in her living room in uncomfortable silence with Lee. When Harry went to the Ministry to ask Colin and Dennis if she'd been there, Alicia returned home. Lee sent Alicia off to the Ministry just as Harry left. She went to his house, but he was at the joke shop again.
Both capitulated at five o'clock and went home to prepare for dinner at the Spinnet house.
Harry had not told Lee that he had been invited, so Alicia still had no idea that he was going to be there as well. She got ready quickly and arrived at her parents' house fifteen minutes early. Her mother liked it when people were early. She entered the house without ringing the doorbell and found her father and brother-in-law watching television.
"Where is he?" her father barked, swivelling in his seat.
"Where's who, dad?" Alicia asked, as her stomach constricted pre-emptively.
"The boy you're dating! Where's he hiding?"
Alicia ran into the kitchen where her mother and sisters were putting the finishing touches on dinner. "You didn't tell me I had to bring him!" she hissed.
"Of course we didn't," Laura Spinnet said calmly. "We sent him a personal invitation, which is the proper thing to do in this situation. You two aren't married, engaged or living together so you can still receive separate invitations. Didn't he tell you he was coming?"
"I haven't seen him all day."
There was a snort from Mackenzie's general direction. "That's promising," she said under her breath.
Alicia rounded on her. "And where's your boyfriend, huh?"
Mackenzie shrugged as she tipped the steamed vegetables into a bowl. "I chucked him. He wanted me to go and pick out curtains with him. Can you believe it? That's something boring married couples do."
"You're as bad as Lee," Alicia sighed.
Mackenzie's blue eyes lit up. "Speaking of Lee…"
"No. We're not speaking of Lee."
Catherine, who was chopping tomatoes for the salad, looked up briefly. "So, he isn't coming, then?"
"I don't know," Alicia said truthfully. Given what had happened the previous night, she wouldn't blame him if he decided not to attend. "If he does come, you have to promise to keep dad from letting loose on him. Poor guy has been through enough in his life, don't you think?"
"I tried to explain it to your father, but you know what he's like. He isn't very familiar with Harry's life and he doesn't even want to hear about it. It's the same with Quidditch. Things that he doesn't understand frighten him. I did tell him to tread carefully, though," Alicia's mother said. She began to set plates and cutlery out on the table. "Instead of standing around, why don't you go and fetch Thomas, dear. He's playing out in the garden. Tell him it's time to clean up for dinner."
Alicia gladly went off to find Catherine's son. Her mother's words hadn't reassured her very much. Tom Spinnet was famous for not being open-minded or objective. He'd sent his daughters to Muggle school before Hogwarts and had always fought to keep them grounded in the world that he understood. Naturally, he'd been ecstatic when Catherine married a Muggle businessman. Alicia's success with Quidditch went straight over his head.
Alicia took a deep breath to calm herself and opened the backdoor. She spotted her nephew almost immediately. He was jumping and running around the garden with a butterfly net in his hand. Alicia was a little surprised by this. Thomas wasn't as naturally lively and bubbly as other four years. To be perfectly honest, the kid was a little odd. Still, as the first and only grandchild, he was the golden boy.
Alicia's father was particularly proud of the boy because he'd been named after him. Catherine had done this to get in his good books, Alicia had always thought.
"Hi there, buddy," she said cheerfully. Thomas looked at her briefly then swung his net in a wide arc. She joined him amongst the flowers. "It's time to go inside and get ready for dinner."
"Already?" he asked, pausing to brush his hair from his sweaty face.
"Yes. Have you caught any yet?" she asked.
"No. There's more at my house."
"Well I hope you let the butterflies go after you catch them," Alicia said lightly.
"I put them in jars and watch them," Thomas replied. "They run out of air and go all twitchy before they die."
"Oh. Lovely. Ok." Alicia forced a smile and pried the butterfly net from his little fingers. "Let's go get you cleaned up."
Thomas took her hand and they headed for the back door. Before they even got there, Alicia could hear her father's voice shouting, "I don't care how many Dark Lords he's vanquished!"
Alicia winced. "Do you ever wish you hadn't bothered to get out of bed in the morning?"
"All the time," Thomas said solemnly, squeezing her hand.
xxxxx
Wine is what you take to dinner, right? Hermione had suggested flowers for Mrs Spinnet, but Harry had been quick to point out that Mr Spinnet was the one he really had to impress. Wine was evidence of class and sophistication…or alcoholism.
Harry pressed the doorbell before he could chicken out. Alicia was counting on him. He was going to try his best not to let her down. He'd show her that he was committed to her and willing to do anything for her.
The door flew open to reveal the woman herself. They looked at each for a second, then she threw herself at him and kissed him. Harry almost dropped the bottle of wine in surprise. Unless he was very mistaken, she was actually glad to see him.
Alicia pulled back abruptly and beamed. "You actually came!" she hissed. Her expression changed from happy to frantic. She began to wipe lip-gloss from his mouth. "Oh my God. Ok. Shh! Keep your voice down. Pretend I didn't just kiss you. And – you came."
"Of course I came. Why wouldn't I? Last night was my fault, not yours."
Alicia kissed him quickly. She cursed softy and wiped his lips again. "I've gotta stop doing that. Last night was perfect. Well, not perfect exactly, but who's perfect anyway?"
Harry opened his mouth but she put her hand over it. "Don't say Lee because I'll have to hit you. Are you sure you really want to go in there? We could just go back to my house and forget my family even exists."
Harry shook his head and pulled her hand away. "I have a feeling that wouldn't make them leave us alone. I'm ready for whatever's going to happen tonight."
"You're too wonderful for words sometimes." She leant towards him again, but managed to stop herself an inch from his lips.
"Alicia? What are you doing out there?" came a voice from inside the house.
"Coming!" she called over her shoulder. She turned back to Harry and surveyed him critically. "You look gorgeous. It's not too dressy, so my dad won't think you're showing him up and it's just enough to keep my mum happy."
"I didn't know what to wear," Harry admitted. He looked down at his white dress shirt and black trousers. "Angelina just said not to wear robes."
"You saw Angelina today?" Alicia asked as she tried vainly to get his hair to sit flat. "Better tuck your shirt in. My mother would have a coronary."
"I dropped by the joke shop when I was looking for you. Angelina taught me how to be polite and well-mannered."
"Harry, you're always polite and well-mannered, which is a miracle considering your upbringing. There. You look smart, handsome and non-threatening. Very parent-friendly. It's just a pity you're four minutes late," she added flatly.
Harry frowned. "I am?"
"Alicia!"
"I'm coming!" She took him by the arm firmly. "Listen carefully, all right? Don't swear. Don't make eye contact with my younger sister. Don't say anything bad about the Queen or Princess Diana. Don't say anything nice about Camilla or Fergie. Follow my lead, ok?"
"What?" Harry asked worriedly. "I think I missed half of that. Say it again."
"No time!" Alicia whispered. "Come on, time to go into the lion's den."
I think I'd stand more of a chance with real lions, Harry thought to himself. Alicia led him down the hall and into the kitchen. Everyone was already seated at the table and they all stared when the couple entered. Actually, Alicia's father kind of glared warily.
"Dad, this is Harry," Alicia said gently, pushing Harry towards the head of the table where the old man was sitting.
Harry couldn't help but noticed how small he was. He hardly looked frightening at all. "It's nice to meet you, Mr Spinnet. Alicia always has wonderful things to say about you."
Mr Spinnet ignored Harry's outstretched hand and looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "You're late."
"Dad," Alicia said with an embarrassed little giggle.
"What? He is!"
"I'm sorry, sir, but I got held up at home. I brought a bottle of wine. It's supposed to be a very good vintage." Harry held out the bottle of wine as a peace offering. Truthfully, he knew nothing about the vintage and he'd only been held up because he couldn't find any clean socks.
Mr Spinnet did not make a move to take the bottle. "We have already opened a bottle. Had you been here earlier we might have opened yours, but it is too late now."
Harry smiled amiably. It was going to take more than that to unnerve him. "That's a pity. I suppose we'll just have to save it for next time."
Alicia steered him back to the other end of the table where her mother was sitting. "Mum, this is Harry."
"It is a pleasure to meet you," Harry said promptly, taking Mrs Spinnet's hand delicately and kissing it.
"My, I don't believe I've had my hand kissed in years. It's all gruff handshakes and silly waves these days." Mrs Spinnet smiled regally and accepted the bottle of wine. "It is lovely to meet you as well."
Alicia moved on to the rest of her family. "Ok. This is my younger sister Mackenzie – ignore the way she's staring at you. And last but not least, my older sister Catherine, her husband Jack and their son Thomas."
"Nice to meet you all," Harry said dutifully. He pulled out Alicia's chair for her then settled down in the seat between her and Mr Spinnet. She immediately clasped his hand beneath the tablecloth.
Harry smiled pleasantly at everyone. He really was the best boyfriend in the history of existence. Alicia had freaked out for no reason and he was going to laugh heartily at her later for it. He could handle these people without a problem. Best boyfriend ever. He was going to have to get that printed on a mug for himself.
"Are we waiting for someone else?" Harry asked, still basking in the glow of his own brilliance.
Everyone turned their attention to the only empty seat at the table, which was between Thomas and his father. The place was set, but as far as Harry knew, this was Alicia's family in its entirety.
"That's where Jingo sits," Catherine said simply.
"Jingo is Thomas's friend," Alicia added.
"Oh. Will he be here soon?" Harry asked distractedly, surveying the spread of food.
"Jingo is Thomas's special friend," Alicia said nudging him gently with her knee.
Harry stared at the empty space beside the little boy and it clicked. "Jingo's ima-"
Alicia silenced him with a kick to the ankle. "Yes. Jingo's a part of the family, too. Silly Auntie 'Licia forgot to introduce him!"
Everyone chuckled nervously. Thomas watched the proceedings, his eyes narrowed suspiciously beneath his mop of sandy blonde hair.
Mrs Spinnet cleared her throat primly. "I think we better start dinner before it gets cold. Help yourself to whatever you want, Harry."
"Thank you, Mrs Spinnet." Harry reached for a bowl of peas, but Mr Spinnet snatched it away. Undeterred, Harry simply grabbed some steamed vegetables instead. Really, Alicia's father was a pussycat compared to the Horntail he'd faced in fourth year.
For a minute, everyone silently filled their plates. Harry made sure to fill his own with as much food as he could. He didn't want to risk offending Alicia's mother by eating sparingly.
"The food looks wonderful, Mrs Spinnet. I haven't had a home cooked meal in a long time." Harry stabbed a small piece of broccoli with his fork. Making a great show of being impressed, he popped it in his mouth.
"Harry," Alicia hissed out of the corner of her mouth.
"We haven't said grace yet," Mr Spinnet snapped, piercing Harry with accusatory look.
Everyone else at the table was staring at him as well. What was he supposed to do now? Were you allowed to pray with broccoli in your mouth? Probably not, considering how the Spinnets were watching him.
Should he spit it out? Could he suavely spit the broccoli back onto his plate? No. Gilderoy Lockhart himself couldn't make spitting out food look suave. He couldn't just eat it though, could he? Surely that would defeat the purpose of saying grace before eating.
Harry was beginning to sweat and turn red under the scrutiny. He couldn't even ask Alicia for help because Angelina had expressly told him not to talk with his mouth full. Not knowing what to do, he compromised by swallowing the broccoli whole.
This turned out to be a bad idea, as the vegetable got caught in his throat and he began to choke on it. Harry pushed his chair back from the table and double overed, wheezing and clutching at his throat. The table exploded into action.
"Harry!" Alicia shrieked and thumped him on the back.
"Do the Heimlich!" Jack instructed.
"No, don't do that," Catherine said, getting up from the table. "Where's my wand? Has anyone seen my wand?"
Thomas stood up on his seat to get a better look. "Is he going to die?" he asked curiously.
"Take off his shirt and I'll give him CPR," Mackenzie said, trying to reach Harry around Alicia.
"Anapneo!" Mrs Spinnet said firmly, flicking her wand in Harry's direction.
The broccoli popped out of his throat like a cork and landed on the floor between his feet. Harry stared at it for a moment and blinked to bring his watery eyes back into focus.
"Give him a glass of water."
"No. Give him some wine."
"Give him some air, for Christ's sake!"
"Is he going to die?"
Harry straightened up and did his best to look composed. "I'm fine. Just excuse me for a minute. I have to go and…sorry. Excuse me."
As soon as Harry had rushed off in search of the bathroom, Alicia turned to her younger sister. "And since when do you need to take someone's shirt off to give them CPR?"
Mackenzie pouted. "I was only trying to help."
"You can help by getting rid of that damn broccoli and refraining from talking about taking my boyfriend's clothes off." Alicia stood up and looked around the table. "I'm going to check on him. Not a word from any of you, all right? That goes double for you," she said, pointing at her father.
He pretended not have heard her. "I thought he was supposed to have fought trolls and dragons and giant snakes? He doesn't look very tough to me."
"Not a word!"
"I mean, for a supposed hero he's a little soft around the edges."
Alicia scowled at her father then followed in Harry's footsteps. Things had been going so well! Now there would be no shutting her father up. She knocked softly on the bathroom door. "Harry? Can I come in?"
"If you want."
Alicia entered and closed the door behind herself. Harry was sitting on the edge of the bathtub with his head in his hands. Her heart almost broke at the sight of his forlorn figure. She sat beside him and took his hand. "Are you feeling all right?"
"Would it be rude if I left?"
"Yes, but if you really don't want to stay then we can go."
"I didn't mean you. I think you should stay."
Alicia shook her head and kissed his hand. "We're in this together. Both of us stay or both of us leave. It's up to you."
"It would only be harder later if we left now," Harry said.
"Probably. Don't feel obliged though. It means a lot to me that you even came in the first place."
Alicia was a little surprised when he suddenly turned his head and kissed her. She didn't care that he was crumpling her clothes and messing up her hair. She didn't even care that her family would be able to tell they had been kissing. She wanted them to know that she and Harry had been snogging in the bathroom. If she was a little more daring, she might even undo a few buttons on her blouse. The only thing that stopped her was the knowledge that her father wasn't above trying to ship her off to a nunnery.
Harry finally pulled away and Alicia licked her lips. "Mmm. Broccoli."
"That was not funny."
Alicia giggled. "Come on, it was pretty funny. I can imagine the headlines now. The Boy Who Lived: cut down in his prime by a steamed vegetable."
"All right, it's a little funny," he admitted with a smirk.
"It'd give kids all over the world a good excuse not to eat their vegetables."
Harry stood up and went to splash some water on his face. "Will it get better?" he asked, addressing her reflection in the mirror.
"Absolutely. Dad will ease up after tonight. He and Kieran actually ended up getting along quite well with each other."
"Did Kieran have a hard time when he first met your parents?"
Alicia cringed as the memories of that evening came flooding back. "God, yes. Worse than you. He complimented my mother on the lift of her bust then spilt black pudding all over my father's lap. Not to mention how he almost dropped Thomas, who was only a baby then."
"Sounds pretty bad. And you say your father was nice to him after that?"
"Yeah. My dad doesn't really have the energy or focus to keep being nasty to any one person. He hates people in general, but he can't be bothered focussing all his hatred on one person at a time."
"Charming man," Harry commented wryly. "I doubt it's just a coincidence that he and Voldemort share a first name."
"Watch it, Potter," Alicia said, standing up behind him. "That's my dad you're talking about."
"What are you going to do, daddy's little girl?"
"I'd think of something eventually." She put her arms around his middle and squeezed. "So what do you want to do?"
"Go back out there, I guess. Running away wouldn't do much good. Besides, how could it get any worse after I almost choked to death?"
It didn't get worse, but it didn't get better either. When the couple returned to the table, Harry was hit with a barrage of questions. Jack wanted to know how much he made in a year. When Harry answered that he didn't really know, a 'tsk' was heard from one end of the table. Alicia stepped in to point out that Harry was very well off and was known for making generous contributions to charities.
Mackenzie then asked how much he could bench press, which earned her a kick under the table from her sister. Alicia's mother asked about his living arrangements, which opened a can of worms when it was revealed that he pretty much lived with another woman.
"Hermione is dating Ron, dad, so don't give him that look," Alicia said wearily.
"I don't know the look that you're referring to," he said stubbornly.
Catherine then wanted to know if Harry was planning to attend the St Mungo's Charity Ball. He answered yes, which earned him a few approving nods. Little Thomas even had a question to ask.
"Jingo wants to know if you'd let him ride your broomstick one day."
Harry nodded and smiled. "Sure. Jingo would be welcome to try it out one day."
"I'd have to go with him, though," Thomas said. He lowered his voice conspiratorially and leant across the table. "Jingo can't ride a broom good like me."
Everybody at the table smiled at the little boy, who looked perplexed at the reaction. Alicia clutched Harry's hand beneath the table as dessert was brought out. They'd actually survived. The questions hadn't been too probing and his answers had been adequate. Despite the early obstacle, they'd got through the dinner without any mental scarring.
"So, Potter," Alicia's father began conversationally.
Alicia almost choked on her cheesecake. "Dad…"
"What? I just want to ask the boy a question."
"Go ahead, sir," Harry said, his voice firm and his posture exemplary.
"Are you a Tory or a Whig?"
Harry's resolve wavered. "Sorry?"
"He wants to know if you vote Conservative or Liberal," Alicia explained. "That's a completely inappropriate question, dad. Harry's political preference has nothing to with anything."
"I've always said you can tell a lot about a man by his political party."
"Yeah and voting is a private matter. Don't answer the question, Harry."
"Monarchy or republic, then?" Alicia's father asked.
Alicia's mother made a tutting sort of noise. "It's not polite to discuss politics at the dinner table, Tom."
"Answer the question, Potter."
"Er, monarchy definitely. I love the Queen. Really great woman. She's done a lot for the country. She knights people, which is good," Harry said tentatively. He clearly had no idea what else the Queen did.
"Good to hear," Alicia's father said gruffly. "Young people have no respect for tradition these days. They've forgotten our proud history of Kings and Queens."
"A surprising number of whom were crazy," Alicia couldn't resist saying.
"Don't be a smart-mouth. Our empire was built on those Kings and Queens."
"We hardly have an empire," Catherine said.
"Because everyone's lost respect for the Royal family. It's all because of Fergie and Camilla." Alicia's father thumped his fist down on the table. "Just yesterday I read that some woman who writes children's books in Scotland is actually worth more than the Queen. What is the world coming to, I ask? Silly children's books!"
"Can we talk about something else now?" Alicia asked, blushing. Why couldn't her family have normal dinner conversation?
"Not until I find out who Potter voted for in the last election."
"I didn't vote," Harry answered.
Everyone else at the table winced as Alicia's father pursed his lips. "So you're one of those people who doesn't vote then complains about who gets elected?"
"Actually, I wasn't of voting age during the last election. I'll definitely be voting in the next one. I'll vote for whoever wants equality and better living conditions. I don't think the rich should just keep getting rich," Harry said.
Alicia cheered in her head and smugly waited for her dad's reaction. Take that! That ought to teach him not to ask stupid questions.
The reaction from him was not one anyone had expected. "You're a communist," he said.
Alicia's mother gasped and Mackenzie shrieked "Dad!" Alicia just stared in disbelief. How did her father always manage to do that? Things were going well then he suddenly did something insane.
"You aren't McCarthy and it isn't the 1950's anymore. You can't just go around accusing people of being communists," Catherine explained calmly.
"It's my house," their father said, folding his arms obstinately.
Alicia put her hand over her eyes. "I can't believe you just called my boyfriend a communist. I think I'm going to die of embarrassment."
"Relax, sweetheart, your father is just looking for an excuse to dislike Harry. He couldn't find one so he invented one."
"That's not true, Laura."
Alicia stood up and took Harry's hand. "I'm taking Harry into the living room before you accuse him of being a Nazi as well."
"A fan of Hitler, Potter?"
"Uh, no, sir."
"Come on," Alicia said, throwing her father a dirty look and pulling Harry up. She dragged him out of the kitchen as fast as she could. They joined Thomas, who had gone into the living room to play after dinner.
Alicia and Harry sat side by side on the sofa and silently watched Thomas play with his action figures. After a minute or so, Harry spoke softly. "Did your father just call me a communist or did I imagine that?"
"No. He called you a communist," she confirmed.
"Any idea why?"
"I think it's like mum said. He's trying to find a reason to dislike you, but he's clutching at straws." Alicia sighed. "Dad likes to talk as if he single-handedly fought communism. There was a memorable incident when I was about twelve and had just come home from Hogwarts. Dad turned the hose on some guy who showed up at the door wearing a red uniform. It turned out he was just collecting money for the Salvation Army. They haven't come back since. I think they put us on some sort of list."
Unexpectedly, Harry didn't look appalled. In fact, he laughed. "I like your family, Alicia."
"You don't have to lie to me. I barely like them most of the time."
Harry shook his head. "I'm not lying. They're all great and different. Catherine's so calm and Mackenzie's so out there. I can't even believe how beautiful and refined your mother is. Even your father has his good points. He cares about you a lot."
"You forgot to add that they're all quite mad."
"That may be so, but you're lucky to have them," Harry said, the tone of his voice sobering up considerably. "Some people would like to have any sort of family."
Alicia almost smacked herself on the forehead. When was she going to stop putting her foot in her mouth? "I'm so sorry, Harry. I can't believe I complained about having a family so much. I'm lucky to have them and you. Forgive me?"
Harry gave her a small smile. "I'll have to think about it."
Alicia returned the smile and Harry went over to stand by Thomas. "What are you playing, mate?"
Thomas looked up at him slowly. "You're standing on Jingo's head," he replied plaintively.
"How could you?" Alicia teased.
Harry ignored her and took a step to the left. "Is that better?"
"Yes." Thomas turned back to his action figures and said, "Jingo doesn't like you."
"Because I stood on his head?"
"No. He doesn't like people who have glasses."
"That can be fixed easily enough." Harry pulled off his glasses. "Is that better?"
Thomas looked at the empty spot between himself and Harry. "No. He still doesn't like you."
"Oh."
"I like you."
Harry ruffled the little boy's hair. "I like you, too."
Alicia fought the urge to giggle as Harry joined her again. "Nice try," she whispered.
"Why don't any of his toys have heads anymore?" Harry whispered in her ear.
"No one has been able to work out why and it's probably best not to ask," Alicia answered softly.
They were watching Thomas play with his decapitated action figures when Mackenzie came into the room. She plopped herself cheerfully down on the sofa next to Harry.
"Back off," Alicia warned.
Mackenzie rolled her eyes. "Relax. I just realised that no one has told Harry any embarrassing stories about you yet. What's the point of bringing him to meet your family if we can't tell embarrassing stories?"
"Harry doesn't want to hear stories," Alicia said firmly.
"Stories actually sound good," Harry said.
"Have you heard about her crush on Prince William yet?"
"No, but do go on."
"She was completely in love with him. There're still posters of him up in her bedroom. I'll have to show you later. Anyway, she was so obsessed that she dragged Catherine and I along to an appearance he made in London when she was about thirteen."
"Mackenzie…" Alicia hissed. She knew where this story was going.
"Go on," Harry urged.
"It was absolutely packed. Lots of screaming girls and the like. Alicia brought her camera along but forgot to check how much film she had and belatedly realised she only had one shot left. When William walked by she got a perfect photo opportunity. Unfortunately, the girl in front of her jumped just as she took the picture. All she managed to get was a picture of his elbow."
"I remember she slept with the photo under her pillow for months and even took it to Hogwarts with her," Alicia's mother added as she came into the room.
"You slept with a photo of Prince William's elbow under your pillow?" Harry asked.
"He has a very nice elbow," Alicia mumbled, turning red.
"Oh, are we telling stories?" Catherine asked, appearing at her mother's side. "Have you mentioned the first time she tried to fly a broom and ended up getting stuck in a tree?"
Harry put his arm around Alicia's shoulders and said, "I have to hear that one."
Alicia had to endure twenty more minutes of humiliation before Catherine and Jack took a sleepy Thomas home.
Mackenzie also got changed then reappeared from her bedroom. "Tell mum and dad I'll be home in a few hours."
"Where are you going so late on a Tuesday night?" Alicia asked.
"You know, just out. Places to be, people to do. Bye!" Mackenzie waved then dashed out the front door.
There was a bang in the kitchen then Alicia's father striding into the living room. "Did your sister just say she had people to do?"
"I wasn't listening," Alicia said, hiding a smirk. "Anyway, Harry and I had better leave as well."
"Potter can go, but your mother and I want you to stay behind for a while."
Alicia opened her mouth to protest, but Harry beat her to it. "I will get going. Thank you for inviting me."
Alicia's mother came in from the kitchen. "Are you leaving, Harry?"
"Yes, it's getting late and I have lots to do tomorrow. Thank you for letting me come to your family dinner. The food was wonderful and you have a lovely home," Harry said.
This time Alicia's mother kissed him on the cheek and her father even shook his hand. "We hope we get to see more of you."
"I hope to see more of you as well, Mrs Spinnet."
Alicia's cheeks began to hurt from smiling so proudly. Harry could certainly work a room when he put his mind to it. He kissed her on the cheek and took his wand out. After a final goodbye, he Disapparated.
"You like him?" Alicia's father asked as soon as he had gone.
"Yes."
"How much?" her mother asked.
"A lot."
Her mother hugged her and said, "He's a very nice young man. Do try not to mess things up."
"I'm doing my best, mum," Alicia assured her.
Her mother left the room and her father cleared his throat roughly. "You have my blessing," he said unceremoniously.
"I don't need your blessing, dad." Alicia kissed him on the cheek. "It's nice to know I have it, though."
Alicia took out her own wand and Disapparated. A second later she was behind a bush in the darkness of her front yard. She was dreamily making her way up the pathway when a familiar voice said, "That was quick."
Alicia walked right into the rose bush for the second time that day. "Harry?" she asked quietly as she tried to un-snag her clothing from the thorns.
"Who else would it be? What on earth are you doing in the roses?"
Alicia squinted up at the dark figure on her doorstep. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm freezing my arse off at the moment. Could you hurry it up a little?"
Alicia yanked herself free and practically ran to him. "I'm serious. What are you doing here?"
"I figure you owe me after tonight. I've come to collect," Harry whispered in her ear.
"Oh." Alicia frantically began to search through her bag for key. She found it and slid it into the lock. "We'll have to be quiet. Lee is here with Anna the ballerina."
"She a real ballerina?" he asked, kissing her neck.
"Oh yeah. She can even put her feet behind her head," Alicia replied as she pushed the door open.
"Wow."
"I know. Amazing, huh?"
xxxxx
When Alicia awoke the next morning, it took her a while to remember that the warm lump next to her was Harry, not the cat. She smiled at the back of Harry's head. They'd made it over quite a few hurdles in the past few days, which could only be a good sign. Surely the hard part had to be over now. Things could only get easier and better.
Harry moved and Alicia quickly shut her eyes again. He rolled over and kissed her on the forehead. She heard him get out of bed and leave the room. As soon as the door clicked shut, she leapt out of bed and checked her reflection in the mirror on the back of the door. She had frightful bed hair.
Alicia quickly remedied this with a hairbrush then fished a breath mint out of her handbag. She chewed it and swirled it around in her mouth thoroughly. She heard footsteps approaching so she climbed back into bed. Lying on her back she folded her arms over her stomach, Sleeping Beauty-style, and waited for her prince to arrive.
The bed dipped slightly as Harry sat down beside her. "I know you're awake."
Alicia cracked open an eye. "How?"
"Firstly, no one actually sleeps like that. Secondly, you've brushed your hair and-" he leant down to sniff her "-you ate a breath mint."
Alicia opened her other eye and sighed. "You could have at least pretended to be pleasantly surprised."
"If it makes you feel any better, I just did the exact same thing in the bathroom."
"It doesn't look like you did a very good job with your hair."
Harry jabbed her in her ribs. "Oh, ha ha. Are you always so witty in the morning?"
"Always. How'd you get hold of a breath mint?" she asked.
"I didn't. I ate some of your toothpaste."
Alicia giggled and pulled him down for a kiss. He settled on top of her and slowly switched his attention to her neck and shoulders.
"I hope you realise you're really stuck with me now," she said, running her fingers through his hair.
"I can live with that," he muttered against her throat.
"Do you want coffee or breakfast or something?"
"Coffee sounds good."
"If you got off me I could go and make us some," Alicia said, shoving at him half-heartedly.
"I'll go do it." Harry rolled off her. "You stay here and practice your fake sleeping poses."
"White with two sugars, thanks."
"Yeah, just don't get used to service like this."
She smiled angelically. "You look really nice in boxers...and not in boxers. Hurry back?"
"Two minutes," he vowed, leaving the room quickly.
Alicia slithered out of bed and put on her pyjamas, which had been discarded at midnight then again sometime around three that morning. If Harry wasn't careful she would get used to being entertained all night and brought coffee or breakfast in the morning. She sat in the middle of the bed and waited patiently for him to return.
It wasn't long before Harry kicked the door open and entered with two cups of coffee and a croissant in his mouth. Alicia pulled the pastry from his mouth to find him grinning from ear to ear.
"What are you so pleased about?"
"It's just a good morning."
"Oh, is waking up next to me that nice?" she asked, tearing the croissant in half.
"Actually, it has nothing to do with you." Harry grinned and handed over her coffee. "There's a half-naked ballerina doing pirouettes in your kitchen."