Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball/Z/GT… Just the tissue I used while writing this chapter (dries teary eyes).
Chapter Thirteen: A ray of hope
At the seriousness in her tone and look Goku inadvertently swallowed.
"Um… yes? What is it that you want to discuss, Serenity?" he asked hesitantly with a hand behind his neck as he straightened up, fearing she'd insist on him letting Luna give him that shot, or something alike.
Usagi sighed deeply and seemed to assess him for a while, her features softening, before she tilted her head lightly to one side with a sweet, slight irony smile.
"So it's back to Serenity now?" she said to him in an amused voice, her tone half wondering and half teasing, it made Goku relax that'd she let go of the syringe subject while at the same time that it made him blush at the sudden warmth in his gut…
…which in turn made Usagi giggle silently inside. 'He looks cute when he blushes'
"Eh… I'm sorry. It's just that since Luna calls you Usagi all the time I must've… picked it up from her…" Goku started quickly and finished breathlessly, still awed at her smile.
Usagi shook her head slowly with her eyes closed to signify he needn't worry and that she hadn't taken any offense by it. Then she trailed her gaze all over his form before regarding him with an expression full of concern.
"Are you really fine now? Do you feel alright?"
The question earned a questioning look from Goku, till a pale slender hand raised itself hesitantly towards him, only to stop mid-way, as if thinking better of it, and close before returning to its previous place at the queen's side.
Usagi sighed.
"That plant demon could have hurt you seriously if it hadn't been for Helios. His healing powers have always been greater than my own, same as with most Fae in Elysion. We were all very worried about you… I was worried about you. After all, I am the reason you are here, aren't I?"
The warrior didn't know what to say so he stayed silent.
"Youkai like that are very dangerous creatures" she explained a bit dejectedly "they feed of their victim's own fear. The more you're afraid, the more you're frightened and confused and your despair increases, the stronger they become and the more you are at its mercy… Besides, not only do they feed on your fear, but their nurture it, like that plant youkai with its poison that caused hallucinations"
Goku nodded when he thought of something.
"I remember…— I remember I had some very disturbing dreams while I was unconscious" he said, remembering some parts of the disquieting dream with Chichi "I don't remember them very well…" he lied "…but could those dreams too have been just caused by the Poison Ivy Phyton?"
He had to make sure…
Usagi nodded in understanding.
"They probably were, Goku… The Poison of the Phyton does just that. Sometimes it even makes you relive some old memories, distorted from what they used to be, twisting reality to turn even the fondest of memories into a nightmare to increase the victim's anguish"
Goku let out a breath he didn't know he was holding; feeling relieved.
"I didn't know the youkai would awaken" the blonde woman murmured "they weren't supposed to. But then again, the seal I put on them to make them sleep mustn't have been strong enough…" she reckoned, as if speaking only to herself.
"Serenity…"
A sudden strong breeze ruffled both their hair, the woman's golden tresses contrasting greatly with the man's deep ebony locks. Goku continued to watch her with an intense look while Usagi had her eyes closed.
"I'm sorry" her eyebrows creased in a penitent expression before she opened her eyes to look up at him dutifully "I want to apologize for my earlier behavior, as well as thank you for going to the Sailor Quartet and the others and… for protecting Hope City… God knows, in the state I was in, I couldn't have done it. If it hadn't been for you and Kunzite…"
"You don't have to—"
"Yes I have to" she interrupted him "Ever since you got here I've been treating you alternately between hesitant politeness and down right rudeness… It must have been driving you crazy just trying to figure out my mood"
Goku's jaw fell.
"I realize that, and I want to make amends for the unjust way I've been acting. You were only trying to help, you could've gone back to Chikyuu to your granddaughter and what's there of your family but you came here in good faith to help us instead, putting your very life in danger just by being here, in Elysion, and I didn't make it any easier for you with my attitude and my foolishness" she said angry with herself "and all this for what? All just because Selene…—" there she suddenly stopped herself.
"…What? Just because Selene what, Serenity?" he blinked, surprised at her outburst but more so at her sudden pause.
Mortified silently for her slip up, she turned her head to the side, eyes downcast.
"It doesn't matter…"
He stared at her for a moment, gathering his thoughts.
"Serenity…"
When she turned back around he continued.
"First of all" he told her "I want you to know I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I decided to come here" he said very seriously. He knew this was their time of reckoning. "Shenlong told me all about Chaos and what it was capable of before arriving, so I don't and I won't hold any of you responsible for any injuries bestowed upon me as the price for fighting against it"
Usagi opened her mouth to retort but this time he was the one who shook his head and interrupted her.
"Didn't you say something yourself, Serenity, about being a true warrior?" he questioned "Being a true warrior is, I believe, knowing that there are some things in this life that are worth fighting and dying for, and from what Luna's told me I know you understand better than many what I mean"
Taking into account Usagi's past as Sailor Moon; indeed that she did.
"I can't give up now and prove false everything that I believe in… I just can't. Turn back and return to Chikyuu, forgetting all about you guys and what you're going through, after I've seen it with my own eyes, is something I no longer would be able to do; I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did… it'd be like running away. I will see my granddaughter again, eventually… I have to believe that I will… but it'll be once I've made sure I did everything I could here in Elysion… … But I want to make it clear to you it's by my own choice that I'm staying, Serenity, and it's nobody else's responsibility but mine"
Usagi felt an unpleasant knot in her stomach and lifted her gaze to look him dead in the eyes.
"…You'd do that for us, when … it's possible that you don't turn out of this alive?"
He nodded.
"…And you are not afraid…" it was more of a statement uttered in wonder than an actual question.
"…I've already been dead twice, I was also absorbed once, and already faced the risk of my soul disappearing when I fought Janemba in Other World." he answered "Had he killed me then, there'd have been nothing left of me, Vegeta, or the entire universe for that matter…" the Saiyan trailed of as he turned away from her, as if he was talking more to himself than to her "I was also imprisoned in a strange world for one hundred years… I've faced the prospect of complete annihilation more times than I can count or care to remember. So I know well what is at stake here and what we're up against"
"Goku, I — I" she shook her head vigorously to clear her thoughts "No…no, you have to listen to me, Goku, please! I must tell you this is probably the last time you'll ever be able to leave Elysion without Chaos chasing right after your feet. The barrier of the Golden Crystal won't last for long, but you still have time… Goku, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. I know now that youkai was devised by Chaos specifically to attack you, it was a trap to get just you ´cause it was you who they were trying to lure out… Goku, I'm sure Chaos knows you're here, knows that someone of your Ki prowess is here and you have to understand that you will never be safe from them again if you stay..." she pleaded with the Saiyan whose back was to her.
The Saiyan didn't respond, but she saw his shoulders tense and at his sides his calloused hands closed into fists.
"I understand… Know that, but no matter what happens from now on… it was my decision" he said with his back still towards her. "I'm not afraid to die again, Serenity, as long as I die fighting, knowing I didn't run away or break under this menace…" he answered as he turned back towards her. "It's just the way I am"
They looked at each other, her at him almost warily, the Saiyan's eyes searching hers this time. But she was at a loss for words.
That was when Usagi inwardly let out a gasp. He was looking at her in such an intense way and so meaningfully for a few moments, she marveled at the way he could appear so gullible and playful one moment to make a turn of 180 degrees and become serious and iron willed in the next.
Was this what his eyes looked like when he faced an enemy in the heat of battle?
…So composed, so in control… Usagi found herself begin to wonder and wish to explore the many different facets of his often mistook for plain and predictable, yet quite more complex personality, wanting to know how many sides there was to this one man.
Pushing away those intrusive thoughts, her own shoulders slumped and she let out a breath of resignation.
"I talked to Luna and the others" she informed him, making the warrior shift from one feet to the other in wonder at the sudden change of topic "they all seem to think that I freed you from the Eternal Realm… Goku, if that's the reason you're doing this… If you feel that you should save us because I let you out of the Eternal Realm, then you should know you're not in debt with us… It wasn't truly me; I mean, I was hoping, aiming for it with what I did, but then the Silver Crystal took matters into its own hands. Sometimes it just does that… It follows my heart most of the time but it also has a will of its own"
He regarded her with a small smile that she couldn't quite read and shook his head again.
"I appreciate the honesty, Serenity, but that's not why I'm doing it. Not just for that, at least." the Saiyan's eyes turned to gaze at the horizon as a new breeze ruffled his bangs "I'll do it for every time I fought in the past, before I was imprisoned in the Dragon Realm, when I was never alone, and always had my friends beside me. Not only had that, but people who didn't have anything to do with our troubles often offered their help: King Kai, the namekians, the Kai-oh-samas…" he sighed "none of those times were we truly alone, not once… It was also thanks to them that Chikyuu is still today standing. That's why I want to do this now" he whispered "to return to the universe some of the kindness it offered so readily. I find I'm merely returning the favor"
Right then, at that moment, with the peace of nature surrounding them and the house and the breeze whispering it's lullaby in their ears, as he continued to gaze at the horizon whereas she continued looking at him, Usagi realized just how spirited, how compassionate and pure of heart the Saiyan known as Son Goku really was…
…and at that very moment, it took her breath away.
"…All I ask is for you to trust me" he turned to look back at her "…and that you let me be your friend, Serenity. I know you're in need of one, and I wanna be there for you"
She felt that she couldn't refuse those gentle charcoal black eyes and sighed.
She'd find it incredibly hard to refuse him before…… How could she now, when he once more was looking at her like that?
…How could she, after what he'd done?
She felt that she just… couldn't.
She inwardly cursed his gentle nature.
"If that is all that you want… I feel compelled to grant it" she assented with a small smile, suddenly feeling very tired.
But please don't ask anything more than that please… I don't know what I'd do if I had to deal with that possibility right now.
"That, and perhaps that you allow me to call you Usagi sometimes, I really like that nickname too" Goku added with a playful grin, making her first tense and then glance at him in surprise.
The unusual request made Usagi laugh merrily.
"It was my actual name when I was reincarnated as your normal human girl…" she crossed her ankles and made a mock bow with her gown "Tsukino Usagi the First, mischievous and crybaby extraordinaire"
The warrior also laughed good naturedly at that.
"Yeah Luna told me all about that" he commented with his arms crossed behind him supporting his head "She told me it was also the name your little girl used when she traveled back in time? I can imagine the confusion that must've caused"
The second right after he spoke them, he deeply regretted those words, cause he saw the immediate effect those simple words had on the blonde Queen, who ceased laughing altogether, her eyes widening like she'd been slapped or thunderstruck, the blue and silver entwining in a watery dance as she bowed her head and her face was then hidden behind her bangs and entirely from his view, as the grieving woman hugged herself and crouched down, onto the ground.
Goku at the moment actually felt like shooting himself with a Ki blast for his carelessness.
"Usagi… I'm sorry…" he whispered, his shoulders slumping, using her nickname for the first time with her permission as he gazed down at her broken form with remorse.
When she failed to answer him he began to fear that she'd once again fall into her depression. However his eyes widened when a new thought crossed his mind and he closed his fists tight and instantly pulled himself together, frowning with a new resolution.
"Usagi…" he looked down at her again "would you be willing to return with me to the Eternal Realm?"
He watched as she froze and tilted her head upwards.
"Huh?"
Encouraged by this reaction, he continued.
"Usagi… If there's a way to restore destroyed souls back in one piece, then I'm sure that the Eternal Dragon known as the Great Ancient, Methatron, must know about it"
He felt that he wanted to see her happy, no matter the cost, and the consequences be damned. If the only way for her to come out of depression was to restore her loved ones' souls, then he was willing to dive back into the deepest pits of the Dragon Realm to get the answer.
Usagi's eyes trained slowly on his, afraid to dare hope.
"Ancient Dragon… Methatron?" she asked with doubt "But the Kais… I was with them right before I went to the Eternal Realm to ask for your release. Neither they nor Shenlong knew a way..."
"The Kais wouldn't know ´cause I am positive they've never even encountered a similar situation before" he answered with a frown "As for Shenlong, he's often stated himself he's relatively young compared to other dragons in the Eternal Realm, Usagi. Then it's not sure he'd be the most knowledgeable… whereas Methatron is so old, he's already a legend in the Dragon Realm. Shenlong often said that even though he is in a state of permanent sleep nowadays, he's existed for longer than any of them. They all regard his name as that of the very first Eternal Dragon…"
He crouched down next to her on the grass to grab her lightly by the shoulders.
"Usagi, this dragon, this dragon is older than Shenlong, older than the Kais… Hell, I'm sure he'd be older than even Chaos and the Cauldron!" he told her with intensity at his own discovery.
The blonde Queen couldn't help but contain her breath.
"And you think this dragon… will know a way to bring them back?" she asked hesitantly.
At this question his look saddened.
"I don't know if he'll be able to bring them back to life" he admitted "But I'm sure he'll know a way to restore their souls so they can at least exist again in Other World and be reincarnated some day… It's what he used to do, Usagi… Shenlong told me they not only call Methatron the 'Ancient', they also refer to him as the 'Caretaker of Souls', and that he's very different from all the other dragons."
When the golden haired woman bowed her head to once more have her face covered beneath her bangs, the Saiyan pulled her closer and continued talking in earnest.
"Usagi, please listen to me… It's rumored Methatron was the one entrusted with the creation and destruction of souls during the times of the Elder Gods, before the Cauldron was created. Heck, even the Kais know of this myth! The myth about the Dragon Soul Caretaker!"
He saw and heard her swallow deeply.
"I think… I know that he'll be able to restore their souls, or tell us the way for us to do it ourselves; I just do…" he insisted firmly "I know it sounds like a myth, I know it's a legend, but the Eternal Dragons are different from us mortals… They're very ancient magical creatures and their legends, no matter how fantastic, are always based on some actual truth… So it is worth a shot! We have to believe there's still a chance… If Methatron is still there, we will find him and we'll awaken him and find the answer!"
"And you…" she started to ask, the view of her face still hidden by her hair "you would do this, you'd go back to the realm that kept you imprisoned for a hundred years… just to help me verify whether this is true or not?"
Her tone showed awe and disbelief at what she was hearing, yet fear of unmasking the illusion and once again be crushed by the harsh reality.
The warrior bit his lip as his back straightened.
If it was her well being that was at stake…
"Yes" he nodded, gathering all his confidence for this purpose "I know a way to summon Shenlong without the dragonballs, though it will take some time… I'll do whatever it takes if it means we'll be able to bring the souls of your family back"
He was unprepared for her reaction this time, for she gasped loudly and lifted her head once more to lock her gaze with his, and this time it was the Saiyan's turn to gasp when he saw how much her eyes had changed, how different they had just turned from what he was used to see ever since the moment he met her.
It was like a terrible weight had finally been lifted from her; like her eyes had finally been able to let go of some of the unbearable sorrow that'd always cast a shadow upon them and upon her heart, and that she could finally breathe in some peace.
Those eyes… those beautiful blue eyes…
… They seemed suddenly so full of life now…
…So filled with renewed hope.
'They can be brought back? Oh God! Is it possible I can bring their souls back when I thought…?'
She was crying, but he could clearly see that it was not from sadness… but from a great happiness. Her eyes were shinning brightly like never before and she was smiling, her cheeks rosy, and she seemed more alive now than she had been for the longest time.
Usagi giggled then, and Goku was amazed at the change that renewed hope operated in her.
And he was happy for her…
"Thank you!" she exclaimed as she threw herself at him with full force, giving him the tightest hug she could muster with the terrible strength of her thoroughly felt gratitude; her entire body wrecking into his and shaking in great sobs as her heart, mind and soul were revived and overcome with the most welcome hope and relief after the months, years of emotional torture she had gone through.
"Oh God! …Thank you!"
Goku, who'd been rendered speechless by the unexpected action, and whose eyes were still slightly wide, finally let his eyes soften as he smiled and reached around with his muscled arms to hug her trembling form back.
…She was crying openly now, but the warmth of his embrace and the soothing motions of his hands on her back soon made her start to calm down, made the erratic spasms gradually start to subside…
From her hide out behind a corner Luna raised a hand to wipe her teary eyes.
END TO THE THIRTEENTH CHAPTER
A/N: This was a rather difficult chapter. I hope it turned out alright. Anyway, in the next chapters you'll see that this renewal of hope was exactly what Usagi was needing to get back in business...
Please tell me your thoughts?
Jay.