Chapter 24

The wood lay quiet. Out in the rest of the world people bustled about their lives but here everything was still. There was nothing except the warmth of the sun and the song of the wind as it whistled through the trees and played across the surface of the pond. The water lapped up against the rich soil and all was tranquil.

That tranquility seemed unlikely to last, however, as Elsa desperately fought against the tempest raging within her.

It had been building for months but now it was threatening to burst free in a new wave of winter, with each day dragging her closer to the edge until Aaron had inadvertently shoved her to the brink. Now all she could do was fight and claw for every inch she could get as it tried to heave her into the abyss.

In the past her mantra had been conceal, don't feel but that had never helped her. All it did was delay the inevitable, as did her fear. Only now she wasn't afraid. After so much effort and supposed progress over the last year, just to slide back into the exact same hole she'd dragged herself out of, Elsa didn't have time to be afraid. Instead all she could feel was frustration and resentment. Frustration at her persistent lack of control, resentment at what she was becoming.

"Listen to me and obey," she hissed to the arctic air around her, only to be staggered by another surge from within. Stumbling against a nearby tree, the instant her hand touched its bark ice flashed across its surface, streaking upward to strangle the verdant branches overhead. Lurching away, she could only look at it with remorse for a moment before that was also consumed by the growing anger that was assailing the storm.

I will not be a monster, she grimaced as she tried to wave the frost away. It dissolved from the tree like she wanted only for new swells to flare across the ground around her. The entire world was so afraid of her as they all waited for exactly this to happen. No matter how hard she tried to prove otherwise, that she didn't want to hurt anyone, they were just expecting her to fail. Were they right? Was she just doomed to always be at the whim of the forces threatening to consume her?

No.

She would not give in to the mounting tide of frost and snow. She would not prove to the world that she was nothing more than a terror. And she would not place her home in danger ever again.

"Listen to me!" she howled, her eyes screwing shut as she curled inward to fight the storm.

"Elsa?"

Her eyes snapped open in disbelief before she looked around incredulously. She couldn't have heard it. No one could possibly be foolish enough to be near her during a time like this, could they? Not to mention the last thing she needed right now was a distraction. "Go away!"

In spite of her warning, Elsa could now hear footsteps as whoever it was followed the sound of her voice before calling back, "Don't worry, it's only me. Helena."

Sure enough, moments later Aaron's sister stepped out from the trees. It didn't take long for her to scan the clearing and spot Elsa before walking towards her. Perhaps she was there to try and console Elsa but all she felt was shock and outrage at her audacity as she quickly backed away. "Please, just get away from me. You're not safe here."

Helena either didn't hear her or simply didn't care, however, as she continued approaching. Her stride exuded confidence yet she still held her hands warily as she said, "Elsa, it's fine. You can control it."

In spite of her assurance, Elsa just shook her head while clutching her fists close. "I'm trying. But it's too much," she whispered through clenched teeth, wincing as she felt another lurch within. Another twist towards breaking free.

"Focus. You can do this. Just relax and-"

"Stay back!" she barked, still retreating. For your own good, just listen to me.

She was desperate to be alone, to not hurt anyone, and yet Helena didn't flee. She just kept stepping closer and closer. All the while, an orange gleam shimmered in her eyes as the first tongues of fire began to flicker in her hair, her voice ringing with authority. "Don't worry, you can't hurt me."

Even so, consternation continued to stab into Elsa as she retreated, except there was only so far she could run. All the while the memory of someone else saying something very similar to her echoed in her mind, as well as the consequences that had followed shortly thereafter. "I've heard that before."

"Perhaps," Helena replied arrogantly. "But I'm different."

By then she was closer than Elsa could bear as what little remained of her control threatened to snap. "Please! I don't want to hurt you!"

"You won't. Just let me help you."

"Can't you see?! No one can help me!" Elsa yelled before waving her away, her brows lowering into a glare. "Now get out of here while you still can!"

Helena only had one word to say as she dared to refuse. "No."

Why?! Why won't anyone just listen to me?! All at once Elsa felt a wave rise within her as she gave into a furious grimace and bellowed out an echoing command. "I said LEAVE!"

Just like that, she felt the dam break and the frost start to rush from her as it burst outward.

Unlike with her fear, however, it didn't just flow out in all directions. Instead her ire focused it, forcing it into a single lance that thrusted towards one target.

Even as the icy spear barreled towards her, however, Helena didn't even flinch. Instead her fire writhed into action, instantly flaring so brightly that Elsa was forced to look away. As she did so she could hear the deafening crack as ice met fire in an echoing explosion, only to be drowned out by the endless snarl as the two forces fought.

All the while she could feel it rushing out of her, an endless deluge that she was powerless to stop. In spite of her best efforts to seal it off, the ice started to pour out in all directions as it froze the glade around her. The grass withered beneath the merciless flow of cold, the trees creaking under the layers of frost that stabbed into them as the wind whipped and screamed. But not all the glade was lost.

"Elsa!"

Helena's yell was just loud enough to be heard over the squall, drawing Elsa's belegard focus back to where she'd been. Through the snow and mist, she could just make out a fire that struggled against the blizzard, a wall of flames that held winter at bay. And behind that wall the voice came again. "You can control this! You can stop this!"

She wanted so desperately to believe that voice, that she could overcome it, but try as she might, she just couldn't end the storm. "I can't! It's too much!"

"YES! YOU! Can!"

With each word the wall crept closer to her, cutting off more frost until she was encapsulated by an inferno. A blaze that trapped the ice in with her and with that, she was finally alone. There was nothing she could see beyond the flames. No one to threaten, no world to freeze. It was just her and what lay within.

After some more struggling and fighting, finally, blissfully, she felt a shift. It took all her might, straining against the seemingly limitless forces, but she eventually felt the flow begin to subside. Her powers were just as strong and ravenous as ever yet they were relenting, slowly retreating back to where they belonged until, all at once, the flow stopped. The ice stopped coming and it was just her and the surrounding flames.

Fortunately they didn't surge inward without the snow there to stop them, instead also vanishing to reveal a wavering Helena. Whereas Elsa was just feeling a sense of relief now that it was over, Helena's breathing was haggard, her expression weary as she fought just to stand. That didn't stop her from slowly grinning, however, as she wheezed, "See? Was… that so hard?" before collapsing to her knees.

Whatever anger lingered in Elsa was immediately overcome by panic as she rushed forward. "Helena!" No, no, not again!

Unlike last time, though, Helena just waved her off. Her skin wasn't pale like Aaron's had been and the fire continued to burn in her eyes unabated as she mumbled, "Don't worry, I'm fine." Resting back with her hands on her hips, she continued to gasp through each breath before managing, "I'll admit… that was quite the bout."

Whatever relief Elsa felt was short lived as she watched her cautiously. In spite of her confidence, what she'd done had been extremely reckless. "You're sure?"

"Yeah, just… give me a minute."

With that Helena forced herself upright, lingering for a moment before unsteadily stepping out from the trees and into the sunlight. Upon getting there she stopped, her eyes falling shut and her head tilting back, allowing her to drink it in. As Elsa watched her breathing slowed, her poise rejuvenating in a matter of minutes before she eventually looked at her again. The fire in her eyes might have finally gone out but they were back to their normal luster. "See?"

Elsa was no longer watching her, though. Instead her focus had shifted to what lay around them. The ground between her and Helena had been charred black under her onslaught but miraculously the garden behind Helena remained completely untouched, its verdance swaying in the breeze. Elsa just wished that that remained true as she turned to see what lay behind her.

Layers of ice and snow clung to the trees as though a fierce blizzard had just blown through. While Helena might have been able to stall and eventually contain Elsa's powers, she hadn't been able to stop them. Not really. Eventually her focus fell to her hand, or rather lay within it. Dwelling deep inside her, the storm had started to abate, calming from a raving monster back to an everwatchful beast. A beast that she was so desperate to tame. Yes, with Aaron's help she'd been making small yet steady progress, but that would never be good enough. Not so long as another Summer Frost was possible.

Just the thought of all that effort amounting to nothing brought traces of her frustration rushing back as she muttered, "I still can't control it."

She was mostly just talking to herself but Helena still heard her well enough to reply, "Maybe not, but you will. You just lack conviction."

Elsa's ire instantly snapped back to her as her lips parted in a snarl. "What are you talking about? Look at me, Helena!" Upon hearing her own shout, she gritted her teeth while trying to force a calm. "I think I'm lacking a bit more than conviction, wouldn't you say?"

"Not at all. But what makes you say that?"

"Because. I'm not getting anywhere. I feel like I'm pushing a boulder up a hill. Whenever I'm getting somewhere it threatens to roll back on me and suddenly I'm right back where I started." Her glare returned to her hands as she yelled, "They just won't listen to me!"

As aggravated as she was feeling, Helena remained perfectly calm as she nodded thoughtfully. "That does sound frustrating. But perhaps you shouldn't be blaming the boulder."

"I'm not, I just-"

Rather than continuing to argue, Elsa caught herself while letting out a strained sigh. She was right, after all. It's not like her powers had a mind of their own. They just reacted to whatever she was feeling, and to her knowledge there was no way to get rid of them so why waste the effort of being mad at them? Just because she couldn't be mad at them, however, didn't mean she couldn't be mad at her companion. She'd flagrantly ignored Elsa's every plea and command, after all, and ultimately could have placed herself in grave danger.

"Why are you here, Helena?" she eventually uttered before fixing her with a stern look.

Shrugging, Helena merely answered, "Aaron asked me to look after you. He thinks that you shouldn't be alone right now." After a thought, she added, "Besides, someone has to put an end to this."

What does that mean? "An end to what?"

"This," she replied, gesturing at Elsa. "We both know you're dangerous like this."

She probably didn't mean it as a challenge but that's exactly how it sounded to Elsa as she squared up on her. "Oh yeah? And who's going to stop me? You?"

Helena didn't mirror her animosity, however. Instead her expression softened into pity as she quietly shook her head. "I'm not here to stop you, Elsa. As I said, I'm here to help you."

That finally managed to smother whatever remained of her anger, leaving her just feeling ashamed and alone. Her parents had tried to help her. So had Aaron, and yet here she was. "No one can help me."

"Enough," Helena groaned with a roll of her eyes. "That's not true and you know it."

"Really? Then how exactly do you intend to help me?"

"Well, for one I think it's important for you to know you're not alone."

The truth of that statement only made her feel worse as she hung her head. She was really alone, after all. Not so long as she had people like Anna or Aaron who loved her. So what right did she have to feel so lonely? Why couldn't she just appreciate what she had? "I know that."

"Do you? Because I'm not so sure you know what I'm talking about."

"No?" Looking back up, she saw that Helena was watching her quizzically. "Then what?"

"I'm saying you're not the only one who knows what it's like to go through all of this."

"Excuse me? What could you possibly know about what I'm going through?" The claim sounded so absurd that now it was Elsa's turn to look dubious.

Her doubt only irritated Helena, however, as her expression soured. "Oh, not a thing. I'm not royalty and I'm certainly not in love. And I obviously wouldn't know what it's like to be burdened with something that I hated with every fiber of my being. What could I possibly know about suffering?"

The rant left Elsa dumbfounded. Helena could be harsh and hotheaded, yes, but she'd never shown anything short of absolute comfort with her powers. They just came to her so naturally in a seamless union that Elsa tried and failed not to envy. So to hear that she once had doubts once, that she might have been where Elsa was now…

"Helena, I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I wasn't saying you-"

She tried to offer an apology but Helena wasn't interested in hearing her out, instead cutting her off sharply. "I neither need nor want your pity, Elsa. I just need you to listen," she growled before her gaze drifted far away, her voice fading. "Because I've… I've done and endured things you can't even imagine. So, after I've said what I have to say, if you still think no one can understand what you're going through, then I'll go. But if not." Her hard stare flicked back to Elsa. "If any of this sounds even remotely familiar, then you will let me help you. Agreed?"

Once more she wasn't entirely sure how to respond, but eventually she gave a silent nod. What harm was there in hearing her out?

Helena didn't answer right away, though. Instead she just stood there, undoubtedly collecting her thoughts while sifting through old memories. As she did so, even as her face remained locked in grim determination, that ancient exhaustion Elsa had seen before began to creep back into the corner of her eyes. Seconds ticked by before eventually she lifted a finger before her, a solitary flame appearing to dance upon its tip. Her gaze settled onto it as she spoke.

"Do you know what it's like to be alone? And I don't mean just physically. I mean truly and utterly alone. To be ostracized from society just because you're different? To be branded a monster on the sole basis of how you were born? But… but not only that. After all the abuse and neglect, from being called a freak by everyone you meet, that you actually start to believe them…"

Her hand inadvertently closed into a fist, extinguishing the flame as her mouth contorted into an agonized frown. She was only able to continue after taking a choked breath.

"There was a time that I felt like a prisoner, trapped in my own skin. That no matter what I did or how far I ran my powers would always be with me. And I hated my powers. Not only because they made me dangerous but because they were what made me different. They were the source of the torment that I suffered through every. Single. Day. I would have given anything to be rid of them. My home. My world. My life… Anything for just one day. Then I could finally be like everyone else. I could just be normal."

Falling silent again, her fist dropped as she forgot about everything, including Elsa as she dwelt on the past. However, Helena couldn't linger there forever as she drew a trembling sigh and blinked several times before looking back at Elsa. "So how about it, Elsa? Was I right? Or are we nothing alike after all?"

She, meanwhile, could do nothing but stare. Every word had sounded so achingly familiar to her. It wasn't identical to her own life, but it could have been. And she didn't have to be a commoner to know what it was like to feel helpless. To desperately need to be like everyone else. Even if that were true, though, Elsa still found herself speechless. "Helena, I… I don't know what to say."

"Then don't," Helena replied, her expression softening. "Because as much as I hate to say it, your story is far from unique. You certainly are, but your suffering is not. However, would you like to know what the difference is between someone like you and someone like me?"

In spite of the connection being revealed between them, Elsa still wasn't entirely sure she should just believe everything Helena was saying and yet she found herself nodding. Years of protecting herself through hiding and doubt called for caution but Helena's words didn't speak to that part of her. Instead they went back further, back to that scared little girl who felt so trapped and alone. That little girl who was so desperate to escape.

Turning to look out towards the towering spires of the castle looming over the garden's canopy, Helena shook her head. "I don't want to be normal anymore. To shuffle through life as just another member of that myopic horde until I die, wasted and forgotten. No. I want to be extraordinary." When she looked back at Elsa, her pain was gone. In its place, her eyes gleamed with not only pride but even ambition. "These powers aren't a curse like I once thought, Elsa. They're a gift. A glorious gift that will raise us out of the darkness to touch the sky and beyond."

Admittedly her hopes were inspiring, yet Elsa wasn't quite willing to agree with her just yet. Not after everything she'd been through. "I'm not so sure I'd call them a gift."

"Of course they are, Elsa," Helena replied keenly, taking a step towards her. "Think about it. You have all the power in the world. You can do whatever you want, be whoever you want to be. With your talents just imagine all the people you could help. You can end wars, reverse famines, topple tyrants. You just lack the will to do it."

Once again she had a good point. If Elsa could control her powers like Helena then she probably could do a great deal of good for the world, and she would love to. There was just one glaring problem with that. "That's all well and good but it's all meaningless without control."

Helena's smile returned as she said, "Then I have good news for you, because that's the easy part."

Just like that she took a misstep as she inadvertently pricked Elsa's anger back out. "Easy?" After so many years of struggling and failing again and again that was the last thing she needed to hear. "How is any of this easy?! I've been fighting for control my entire life and I feel like I'm nowhere closer to it than when I was as a child!"

She didn't falter before Elsa's wrath, though, instead just continuing to reassure. "That's because you didn't have me. Now that you do, all of that is going to change."

"Again, what could you possibly do? Aaron's been-"

Instantly Helena's expression turned into a glare and she growled, "Don't talk to me about my brother. He has no idea what he's dealing with."

The sudden shift caught Elsa off guard as she hesitated before pushing back. "Oh, and you do?"

"Of course," she answered without pause. Even so, there was a hint of regret as she tried to return to that warm solace. "You see, unlike my brother, I know things. Secrets he could never even begin to dream of."

"Such as?"

"In due time." There was something in the way Helena said that, a confidence that revealed she knew far more than she was telling. She didn't linger on it, though, saying, "More importantly, believe it or not, Elsa, you're not my first."

Drawing back in confusion, Elsa asked, "What do you mean?"

As understanding as Helena was trying to be, however, that was where her patience reached its end as she rolled her eyes again. "Look, do you want my help or not?"

"Yes, of course I do," she replied before she could catch herself. She was trying her best to remain cautious, to remain smart but it was getting harder by the minute. "I just don't see how."

"You leave the how to me." With that Helena took another step closer, closing the distance between them as her hands came to rest on Elsa's shoulders, her thumbs barely grazing either side of her neck. Her warm touch really did remind Elsa of his as they peered into one another's eyes. Whereas Elsa's were filled with uncertainty, Helena's shimmered with confident purpose as she softly said, "All I ask is that you trust me, and if you can do that then I promise you won't just be pushing boulders. Do that and you and I are going to move mountains together. Okay?"

With that, Elsa found herself on the edge of a different abyss, only this was nothing like the one lurking within her. She couldn't see what lay at the bottom, nor did she have any idea how deep it ran. All she knew was how badly she wanted to jump. To take this leap of faith and to just trust Helena. After so much torment and strife over her life she would have given anything to capture even a hint of the control both the siblings exhibited. To not have to live in constant fear of another outburst, to not slog through frustration and anger every day when they wouldn't listen. To finally be able to just relax and enjoy her powers like she had so very long ago.

There was just the issue of her inherent mistrust. Years of conditioning not to confide in others was all that held her back from the dive, and were it anyone else she probably wouldn't have done it. But this wasn't anyone else. This was Aaron's sister, someone he appeared to trust implicitly. Someone he loved beyond a shadow of a doubt, and if the man she loved could believe in Helena then perhaps she could too.

Besides, between her mounting desperation for help that grew stronger and stronger with each passing day and how close she'd just come to plunging back down into madness, it wasn't like she had much of a choice in the end.

"Alright," Elsa muttered with a nod before dropping her gaze. "I'll… I'll try."

"Good." Helena's hands slid along her shoulders to give a comforting squeeze. They then drifted down to her own hands to give a small tug before letting go. "Now come on. I'm sure Aaron's worried sick about you and we don't need him burning everything down, do we?"

With that she turned to stride away, back towards the world that lay beyond. Elsa couldn't do that quite yet, though, as her eyes lingered on the ground. "Helena?"

Pausing, her feet shifted back towards Elsa. "Yes?"

Still hesitant even after all that, she waited before raising her eyes once more. "I just have to know one thing."

Helena was watching her closely, although her smile returned as she nodded. "Anything."

"How?" Despite her best efforts, some of Elsa's desperation escaped through her voice as she asked. "How did you learn control?"

"The same way you're going to. I had help."

"You did?" Was that possible? "From who? Maybe they can help me!"

Any excitement she might have felt, however, was quickly dampened as Helena's smile saddened. "I'm not so sure that'll be possible."

"Why not?"

"Because I had to travel to places no one else has ever even heard of just to find them."

Them? "Why? Where are they?"

Helena's gaze turned thoughtful as she studied Elsa, silently debating something before succinctly stating, "Not in Arendelle."