Thinking of You

By Drunken Shinigami

Ikumi x Kouji

So maybe we were complete opposites when it came to everything but our drive. Our drive to have fun and be able to agree on things that made sense only to us. Girls would shrivel their noses at our comments, but I truly didn't care. As long as you and I kept agreeing on things, we'd still be the best of friends.

Atleast, that's what I thought back then.

It's been a couple of months since the Ryvius incident, and it almost feels weird to see my mother in tears. It feels like I never knew her, or that I met her somewhere in the past but I can't quite recall.

Nevertheless, it felt strange.

The good part was that Yuki and I never fought over stupid things anymore. Sure, he'd grunt at me when I corrected him, but other than that things ran pretty smoothly.

Just like back then.

My eyes darkened as I smoothed the invisible wrinkles on my bedspread. I bet the thoughts and experiences from back then plagued him as well. But I knew as well as he did that we could never go back to doing that again – I had someone I wanted to protect now.

Or perhaps that was just me talking. I missed him and his laugh, the way he'd always brush things off lighly with a chuckle and how he'd just shrug his shoulders at me. Little things like that.

Ikumi Oze, what were you doing now?

Another bone-shattering hug from my mother, and I was out the door with my duffle bag slung over my shoulder. Her tears were still fresh in her eyes, making it feel like I was just coming home a few months ago again.

In a way, I was going home.

Being called out to the Ryvius again for another few months seemed crazy a few weeks ago, but once the entire situation was explained to me, I quickly realized that I was a vital plan in the survival of mankind. It had taken a few days to convince Yuki, but once mentioning Aires Blue, he jumped at the chance so he could get his "rematch".

Whatever that may be.

Somehow, we split up on the way there. I didn't bother trying to look for him. I knew he'd go there to the loading dock to find Blue, so there was no need to worry.

Another thing that plagued me was his interest in Blue.

His "relationship", however you may call it, was a sour one. But yet there was something that sparked Yuki every time he came within range of this man. He took to Aires Blue like a challenge, and treated him as a challenge.

A challenge… yes, that was what lied ahead of me now. I needed to tell Ikumi something that could possibly change the way we view each other forever.

"Hey, Kouji!"

It felt like déjà vu as I felt my childhood friend Aoi push me harshly into the train, my cry of surprise making her giggle. I craned my head around so I could properly scold her like a father would scold his child, but all she did at me was smile cheerily and wave.

I sighed in defeat. Maybe later.

"Are you excited?" She asked me once we found a seat.

My entire torso was leaning over my legs, so I had to strain a bit to look up at her. "A bit, yeah." I muttered.

I was scared, actually. Scared of what Ikumi might think. But I had to get this out before I could move on.

Yeah, "move on". What a laugh.

The entire train ride blurred into one memory – the memory of my first trip to outer space officially.

It was odd at first, but no sooner had I been swept off my feet by Ikumi Oze, who showed me the ropes of how everything worked. I was a bit slow to learn at first, but in a few days I was doing everything with ease.

"Just takes practice is all… after that, it's like riding a bike! Or something else, too…"

I had hit his shoulder when I heard his perverted refference in the last bit; he just laughed it off and gave me one of his charming smiles.

It made my stomach backflip into my backbone, that soaring feeling I only got from him. With Aoi, it was soft and fluttery, and didn't last long.

But now, I knew where I needed to go.

I needed to learn to give up on my childish wants, and focus more on my adult needs, as wrong as that sounds.

"Hey, Kouji…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you'll love anyone when you grow up?"

"I…really don't know. Probably, I guess. You?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?" Concerned eyes flicked towards the amber pair that was casted downward.

"Because the person I love will never love me back."

What had he meant by that?

I was inside the Ryvius now, after splitting up with Aoi for a bit because she wanted to find Kozue. I nodded and she ran off, but not before quickly pecking me on the cheek and telling me I needed to see Ikumi, too.

Right, like I didn't know that already. She could be so blunt sometimes.

"K-K-Kouji…"

Ikumi's body collapsed into my own, his head pressed up against my cavity. Heaving sobs, pooling eyes, hands gripping my pants. It was all so much for me.

So I risked it. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled wryly.

Amazingly, he hugged me back.

"Hey."

I didn't realize that my thoughts lead me to lean over the bridge overlooking the busy hallways of the Ryvius.

The soft, powerful voice shook me from my thoughts, and caused me to look up and over my shoulder. And I smiled.

There stood Ikumi Oze.

"Ah, Ikumi." I said nervously. His eyes were still the same, smiling at me as usual. He smiled a bit at me. I quickly noted that his hair had grown out since I last saw him – he didn't bother to tie it up too.

"It's been some time, and I never got a chance to properly thank you." He said, almost in a whisper. My heart began beating faster.

"Y-Yeah, well… you don't need to. It's alright." I smiled, but then I looked at his face again. He looked a bit perplexed.

"I… how's your arm." He took two steps over to me, removed his right arm from his jacket pocket, and touched the wounded arm. I winced.

"It's doing fine." I whispered back, raising my green eyes to his amber. They connected, and we stared at each other for a long time.

It was that connection – that spark that went off in my stomach whenever he looked at me that made my relationship with him so interesting. It made me want to do something, to be someone. Just like he was.

It took a while, but eventually Ikumi broke the silence. "Listen, tell no one I did this, alright?"

"Huh!" I was pulled forward off the banaster by a strong hand.

And he kissed me.

He kissed me soundlessly, his hand gripping my injured shoulder and his other on the banister of the bridge. His mouth moved skillfully over my own, a soft moan escaping those parted lips. I couldn't help but moan back, my trapped hand lighly gripping his mustard-coloured jacket.

It was too much for me.

I was left speechless.

Ikumi pulled away quickly, eyes casted downward as though he was ashamed. "I-I'm sorry… but it was something… I was meaning to give to you for a long time."

My eyes began flickering.

A soft, bubbly feeling began forming in my stomach.

Before I knew it, I was laughing.

I felt joyful, relieved. He felt the same way too!

Ikumi gave me a perplexed look and let go of my shoulder.

"Did… I do something wrong?" He said.

"N-No… just that I was going to do the same thing too." I laughed.

We stared at each other for a bit. Then, we both started laughing.

"I suppose we'll both be going our separate ways now, right?"

"Yeah."

We still stood on the bridge, our eyes locked together and our hands ghosting over each other's. I think truly, we both didn't want to let go. But we both had two people we needed to protect.

Sadly, those two people weren't each other.

"Listen, just stay happy, alright? If anything goes wrong, you're welcome wherever I am." Ikumi whispered, smiling.

"Same goes for me, too." I responded back softly, my own smile breaking out over my face.

"Well, this is goodbye then." The gray-haired teen said; he almost sounded like he wanted to cry.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek, and I leaned into Ikumi's embrace, my hands circling around his back. I could hear him in my ear as he bowed his head down into the junction of my neck.

He was crying.

I kissed his ear and nipped it, and I could hear his surprised gasp.

We pulled apart slowly. Then, without another word to each other, we turned away. We went in opposite directions, to wheverver that may take us.

I couldn't help it. I felt like crying.

Was it possible we could have been together? Could it have happened?

We both care so much for each other… but the people we need to protect need us more than the bond between us.

Ikumi Oze, I love you.

Please by happy.

Even if that person you're with isn't me, love them.

I can feel a tear slipping from my eyes. Now I'm cyring so hard I can't stop.

I wish.

Just one, just one wish.

That the person you love…

…Could have been me.

Kouji Aiba.

-Owari

(Author Note: Doesn't the entire ending sound like Brokeback Mountain, or is this just me talking? XP)