Godiva (Final Draft)

This, I must forewarn you, is not your typical "Once Upon a Time" fairy tale, granted though, that it did happen once, and time was fairly involved as this is a rather long-winded parable. But "upon" simply does not play a role here, though one could say it happened upon a midnight clear and all such nonsense, but that my dear friends would be described as archaic, not to mention trite. So we shall forego all these "Once upon" happenings and get down to the base of this lovely allegorical yarn.

Claudia and Rinald, a truly happy couple, a match made in heaven, yin and yang, like peanut butter with a side of jelly, butter and toast, string and---okay, I will try to refrain from using anymore face-smacking clichés. At any rate, they were husband and wife, though their role in this story is fairly brief, it is by far, the most significant. You see, Claudia had a slightly neurotic fixation on well, chocolate, and it wasn't exactly helping things that her husband was less than sympathetic with her dilemma, himself being particularly self-involved with his own knick knacks and such, not to mention his rather close-fisted tendencies towards money.

Claudia, needless to say, did not receive much chocolate as the cacao bean was rather rare north of South America, and it was a quite painstaking, not to mention extensive process of getting a hold of the bittersweet bean, let alone finding a local chocolate dealer with enough stock to satisfy her needs.

So it is to no wonder that when the renowned chocolateer Willy Wonka moved in to the villa next door that there was destined to be some problems…

Things had gone pretty well for the first few months of Willy Wonka's rural transition. After finally leaving the big city, in search of a little solace, he happened upon a small village, (of which the name shall not be disclosed due to the chocolateer's devout wish for personal privacy, not to mention the avoidance of assailing fans). It was quiet and quaint, small in terms of a village, more a scattering of slipshod shacks, a couple of sturdy wood lodgings with a dumpy little market place, and lots of farmland. Not much by way of luxury, but decent enough.

It was exactly what he'd been looking for. He'd hired an architect and stone mason within the week, less than four months later his equipment was shipped in, a month after that, an interior designer. Only one week later and he'd moved in. Not bad for a half a year's work, not bad at all.

He'd only just finished training the new batch of oompa loompas when his first customer arrived, in the form of a plump middle-aged man hopping the carefully constructed fence. The man was making a beeline for his setting chocolate molds of "Crawly-Creepies™"…

It was about an hour and a half prior to the present. And Claudia was tending to the womanly tasks around the household. Well, she was supposed to be at any rate, but what's a woman to do when there are so many distractions beckoning? Such as smelling the flowers in the gardens for one, or snooping on the neighbors? Which was exactly what she was doing, both of them at once in fact.

Oh, she had started going about her so-called "duties" and such, but they were so incredibly tedious and boring. She'd much rather go out and do something rather than waste away the day in front of the fire, cooking or milking the bloody cows or sweeping the cursed floors or…well you get the idea.

So she'd just so happened to slip away into the gardens for a small stroll. Oh, they were terribly lovely this time of year. All blossoming and bright, filling the air with rich aromas of…chocolate? Since when did flowers come in chocolate scents? High-quality chocolate scents no less? Claudia poked her nose into the air and let out a series of probing sniffs, much like that of a dog detecting a bone really.

'Hmm…that aroma! It seemed to be coming from…THERE! Wait, no, that's not it…It's coming from over there!' She swiveled her head to the left and began sniffing again. 'Ah…I smell it now. It's getting stronger!' She continued tracking the path of the chocolaty fragrance, winding her way in and out of the bushes, drawing ever nearer to the sweet, endearing source. 'It should be just around those bushes now, only a few more steps and…' She leaped around the corner ready to embrace whatever truly wonderful sight must lay there! She was greeted rather forcefully (meaning she'd run head-on into it) by… a stone wall. Yes, a wall, made of, stone. And gracefully, she went down like a leaden log.

What was Claudia feeling right about this moment? Confusion? Most definitely. Disappointment? Quite so. Something rather akin to anger? Oh yes, but mostly pain. She had hit that wall hard.

After a moment of not-so-quiet recovery (there was a lot of cursing involved on Claudia's part), she dusted off her clothes and slowly stood. She knew she'd smelled chocolate; she'd just been a bit overzealous in her search, that's all. Claudia sniffed at the air again. Yes, that was definitely chocolate she'd detected, and it was coming, from beyond the wall…

Hoisting herself into a nearby tree she grabbed the edge of the wall and leaned over. Oh, such a sight she'd never seen. It was so brilliant, so enchanting, so…utterly delicious. There was chocolate as far as the eye could see. Vats of chocolate here, gushing rivers of richness there, setting molds in the far corner…Oh it was a glorious spectacle! Far more beautiful, far more awe-inspiring than anything she'd ever witnessed. Oh, what magnificence...And it was in that instant, that she knew she must have that chocolate, lest she should die a sick and miserable woman of depravity.

It wasn't but 20 minutes later that she found her husband in his study, carefully constructing a miniaturized ship inside a little clear bottle made of the finest glass money could offer.

"Rinald," she spoke loudly, causing her husband to startle and his hand to jerk, knocking the beautiful little ship and bottle crashing into the floorboards with a distinct shatter.

Rinald twitched almost imperceptibly before gritting his teeth and saying in a carefully controlled tone, "Claudia, I have been working on that delicate piece of art for the past three months. Please, tell me that what you've interrupted me for is very important, bordering on the edge of extreme disaster, and not some trivial detail of your, I'm quite sure, fascinating day."

Claudia merely stared at him for a moment before dramatically throwing herself onto the sofa. She barely seemed to register Rinald's distress over his little bottle and ship thing. She gave him a stern glance before saying, "I'd appreciate you not using that tone with me Rinald, but alas, you have hit the nail on the head my dearest husband. I am indeed hovering on the precipice of near destruction. In fact, I fear I might be dying as we speak. Look how pale my hands are. Do you see my flushed cheeks? Are these not the signs of the fading? How terrible to be a freshly bloomed rose, wilting away as the sun pales…" she trailed off and looked over at Rinald.

Rinald, used to his wife's theatrical antics, looked impassively back at her. Claudia did her best to look as sickly and pitiful as possible. They sat there for a moment in silence, Claudia trying to convince her husband of her impending death, and Rinald thinking about the best way to dismiss his wife without offending her. Finally he gave in with a sigh, "What do you want Claudia?"

"Me? Want something? Dear Rinald, all I desire is your love and aid in preventing my tragically early death. That is all, Rinald…Truly…" she replied with a spectacular wave of her arms.

"Claudia…" Rinald started skeptically.

"Well, since you asked so kindly…all I need is a bit of chocolate."

"Claudia," Rinald interrupted. "I don't have any chocolate."

"Oh, that won't be a problem, not at all; I know exactly were you can find some…" Claudia trailed off with wicked grin.

And it was with great reluctance that Rinald listened to his wife's seemingly tactless plan. "Slip over the fence. It won't be too hard Rinald. Just sneak in, and be quiet mind you. I'm not quite sure who lives there, but be careful at any rate. Just wind your way to the corner and grab a mold of chocolate. That's it. Just one measly mold. It won't be missed."

And how precisely would you know that Claudia? Hmm, no answer? Ah, but of course, that's because you don't, know that is. Rinald let his less than courteous thoughts dance about in the air, all of them unspoken.

"So there you have it, Rinald my beau. Simple as those little ship-majiggies you play with all the time." Claudia finished happily.

Rinald twitched again. "Yes, indeed, just about as easy as the painstaking, slow, and delicate process of creating my little ship-majiggies as you call them."

"Precisely!" Claudia exclaimed with a clap of her hands. "Now off with you then." And she promptly proceeded to hurry him out the door.