RESIDENT SQUIRREL
R.E.-Wolf – hi again. I screwed up a bit on the last chapter but you're going to need to bear with me. I am going to try to make this chapter a bit longer then the last one. (just telling you, a seed pistol uses sunflower seeds.)
Chris finally opened his eyes to an ugly squirrel with sunglasses.
"THEY DIDN'T SEND ME TO HEAVEN!"
Wesker then pulled out a Seed Pistol. (handgun)
"Want to repeat that? I'll gladly send you on your way."
Chris stated, "Wesker, you do know that can't kill me?"
"Damn." But Wesker still shot at Chris.
"OW…OW…OW…OW. STOP DOING THAT!"
Jill then smacks Wesker.
Wesker then asks "What did you do that for?"
Jill reply's "Because you shot Chris!"
"You say that like it's a bad thing…" Wesker says.
"maybe we should find out where we are, and how in the world we got turned into a squirrel." Says Billy
"I'm just talking, because the author can't figure out another way to remind you I'm here." Said Rebecca
"guys" said Chris "when I think about it playing hide and seek near Raccoon Forest was NOT the smartest decision we ever made…"
"Neither was splitting up in the mansion, but we did it anyway." Reply's Wesker
"How do you survive all the time anyway? We see your body all the time." Says Jill
"Simple, before every zombie-infested place I go to, I wear my lucky sunglasses, my lucky boxers, and I bring a pack of Mentos." Says Wesker
"Okay, I can understand the sunglasses and the Mentos, but why wear boxers with hearts all over them?" asks Rebecca
"Simple" Reply's Wesker, "would YOU attack someone who wore boxers with hearts on them?"
"No" says Rebecca quickly
"Zombies hate them to, so they don't want me to join their cult-like existence." Wesker then starts crying. "Do you have any idea what it is like to be rejected just because of your lucky boxers?"
Everyone slowly backs away, talking about getting squirrels in white coats to take Wesker to the Happy Oak Tree.
"Anyways" says Billy "Maybe we should look for a way to become human again, any clues on how we became squirrels in the first place?"
"nope"
"nadda"
"no clue"
(continued sobbing)
"Wesker, just give us your damn answer!" Screams Chris
All of a sudden, a bunch of seeds hits Chris. After they fall off him, they spell "I don't know" on the ground.
"he's a good shot, I'll give him that." Says Billy
"Shut it Billy" mutters Chris
Wesker quits sobbing and goes to the group. All of a sudden, the Author remembers he hasn't told you what the "squirrels" look like, and decides to tell you.
Wesker is a grey squirrel with a white stomach, really bad hair day, and sunglasses. Wesker is wearing black pants, a black t-shirt, and a holster for his gun (He really does make one ugly squirrel.)
Chris is a brown squirrel with another white stomach, with his hair combat style. He is wearing a S.T.A.R.S common uniform outfit. (you know, the ones with a bulletproof vest that zombies can bite through.) and a knife holster (now holding a sharp piece of wood) and no gun holster.
Billy is a Black squirrel with a black stomach, and with one of his left hand in handcuffs, and his right arm has a white tattoo of a flame. He is wearing a brown wife-beater and black pants. He has a gun holster and a knife holster. Both loaded of course.
Jill is a grey squirrel with a white stomach and has her beret on. She has a S.T.A.R.S uniform on, and black pants. She has a gun holster with her deadly "seed pistol"
Rebecca is a brown squirrel with a black stomach and a chemical mixing set, and a first aid kit (where she keeps them, we'll never know) a S.T.A.R.S uniform and grey pants. She has a gun holster with her pistol in it.
"Billy" says Rebecca "why do you have a pair of handcuffs on? Didn't you throw those away right before we parted?"
"I did, but when I got to town I was accused of steeling an old lady's dentures, so I got thrown in prison. I had a Cell Mate named Bubba who I had to punch out because he wouldn't quit trying to rape me. Finally, my lawyer proved that I was innocent of all charges" Says Billy
"But why are you still wearing handcuffs?" asks Wesker
"They lost the keys after they got one of the cuffs off."
"Wait a second" Says Jill "don't handcuffs have one keyhole that unlocks both of the cuffs?"
"Police were trying a new set of handcuffs that have a keyhole for each cuff."
"Who came up with that stupid idea?" Says Chris
"I believe you did Redfield" Says Wesker.
Chris looked a bit sheepish as he said "oh yeah, I did suggest that…"
Billy gives Chris an evil glare, when they hear a low moaning.
"ooooohhhhhhhh."
The four squirrels look at each other.
"Zombie something" they all say.
"Shit," Says Wesker "I forgot a pack of Mentos…."
R.E.-Wolf – finally, finished with chapter 2. It might be a bit before I update. See u round.