R.E.-Wolf – the second chapter was better and a lot longer than I expected. I hope I can make this one a bit funnier.

"Shouldn't we run?" asks Rebecca

"Does anyone have a pack of Mentos?" asks Wesker

"Wesker, we are not obsessed with your choice of candy, for the last time, NO!" Yells Chris

"Guy's, the moaning is getting louder…." Says Jill

"ooooohhhhhh"

"Hold on," says Wesker "I have to look under this leaf."

"For what?" All the others ask

"Simple," says Wesker "this is a little like the mansion incident, right?"

All of them nod their heads and say "so?"

"Just look." And Wesker lifts the leaf to reveal a pack of 15 sunflower seeds. "Remember, for some reason, whenever zombie things attack, there will always be convenient stashes of ammo around. No, I have no idea why, it's just that way, and Scientists learn not to question God's will."

"So you mean to tell me we will find ammo in the most ridiculous places?" asks Billy

"It happens every other time zombies infest a place." Says Wesker "such as when Billy and Rebecca were on the train. How else were handgun bullets on that train?"

"Wesker," says Jill "are you going to try to get us killed on this adventure AGAIN?"

"Yes" was the short retort.

"oooohhhhh" Some zombies appear in sight, and they were…..

"Oh give me a break" says Chris "Zombie RATS!"

The Zombie rats were really horrible looking. They were missing bits of flesh and fur all over their body. The teeth were black, stained with the blood of other forest animals. The pupils were all milky white, and looked like they were blind. However, the crew knew they could see all to well.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKK" Screams Billy

Everyone else turns to stare at Billy, and why would a huge muscle man from the army be scared of rats?

"You see," explains Billy "In prison, they wouldn't give us real food. They gave us a bunch of slingshots and some cheese puffs to lure rats out. If we managed to catch a rat, that was dinner. The problem was, that the rats were as big as my fist, and Bubba just happened to be my hunting "buddy" as you can all guess it went downhill from there, and most of the time, the rats won. That and they are really bad at cleaning themselves off. You ever eat a dirty rat?"

"Billy," says Wesker "I really don't give a damn about your 3 weeks in prison. I do however enjoy the fact that A) you suffered in it B.) You scream like a scared little girl scout. And C.) there WILL be a lot of making you remember this moment.

"wow…" says Rebecca

"what?" says Jill

"The author really hasn't tried to be funny during the really long explanations." Replies Rebecca

"Well," says Jill "when one is hyped up on coffee, sugar, and laxatives, you really have a hard time thinking up something funny. Couple that with the fact that he thinks that aliens are invading….Well, you get the picture."

"wow, the zombies really aren't that fast. We saw them about 2 minutes ago, and they are just STANDING there!" says Chris

"Ooooooohhhhhhhhh" Translation: "Why are they just standing there? The contract says they will probably run away?"

"Ooooooooohhhhh" Translation: "I don't know, do something quick, maybe that will scare them."

"Ooooooohhh" Translation: "O.K. Lets break out into a Broadway!"

The zombie rats clear their throats. "Ooooooohhhh Hello my Baby hello my Honey hello my Sweet Sunshine. Baby my Hearts on Fire if I would lose you I don't know what I'd DOOOO!"

"RUN AWAY!" Screams Wesker momentarily losing his cool.

"Write it down people!" Yells Chris as they run as fast as they can away. "We found something that Wesker is afraid of!"

"Shut it Redfield!" Screams Wesker "My Mother took me to many Broadways, and ever since a freak accident involving a really fat girl, I've been scared of them!"

"What kind of accident could happen at a Broadway?" asks Jill

"well," says Wesker "All you need to know is that it involved a really horny midget, some really old peanut butter, and a mime. I'm not going to recount that tale."

The others shuddered "What could happen with a horny midget, old peanut butter and a mime?"

"Everyone, into that Oak Tree!" Yells Wesker

"No!" Yells Chris "Last time we listened to you, you brought us to a mansion that was supposed to be our grave."

"Then where do you want to go Redfield?"

"Umm…Into that tree!"

"That's the same tree Wesker pointed at…." They all thought.

(Back at the dancing rats)

"Ooooooohhhhh" Translation: "O.K. that did it. Why would a Broadway scare them so much?"

"Oooohhhhhh" Translation: "I don't really think it was the singing, probably you break dancing WHILE you were singing. How many Broadways do you know that has a break dancing rat in it?"

"Ooooooohhhh" Translation: "None, but they did go into the Oak Tree we wanted them to go to. Muahahahaha"

"Oooohhhhh" Translation: your evil laugh sucks.

R.E.-Wolf – I know, I know a break dancing zombie rat isn't the best but it works. Stay tuned for the next chapter.