Harry's outburst
"Oh Draco." Harry whimpered as he read the parchment in front of him.
"What? Oh god, your results!" Draco replied, a quivering tension gripping his words.
"It's positive, I… I... can't... Oh no, Draco, what can I do?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, it says right here, HIV positive…" Harry trailed off.
"But, there must be a spell, or a potion or something?"
"In case you haven't noticed Draco, AIDS is a REAL disease, how the hell can a fucking potion cure anything that doesn't involve purple noses or something pointlessly shit like that," Harry's voice cut off as he realized something, "Hey…You told me you were a virgin!"
"Shit…, erm, I…left my pie… in the …o…oven" Draco muttered as he turned toward the door.
"You lying, scheming bastard, you said that you only went to 2nd base with Snape! And what the fuck, you're allergic to pasty!"
Drawing his wand, Harry lunged for Draco's thick blonde hair, pulling out a clump as Draco tried to escape, crying like a deranged baby.
"What are you doing to me?" Draco blubbered, as Harry tore out another large lock out of his now bleeding scalp. Harry laughed, turning his attention to Draco's jeans. He ripped them down and pointed his wand to the shriveled excuse for a penis which lay beneath.
"Aggggggh……"
"Shutupasrigasponifracus", Draco's words became muffled as Harry had just cast a stupidly long silencing spell.
"Burnemoffusandmakehimcryus." Harry said, as he cast his second spell. The thick smell of singed pubic hairs now filled the air, as Harry laughed manically.
"Erm, Harry?" A third voice now interrupted.
"For fuck sake Ron, can't you see I'm busy?"
"Are you eating that or…?" Ron asked
"No" Harry cut in irritably as Ron picked up the piece of bacon on Harry's plate. Harry looked up at the hundreds of shocked faces which filled the great hall.
"Oh… fuck you, you bunch of psychosomatic arse holes, go back to turning toads into ornamental teapots, or something else which you sad acts do to keep you from ever finding a social life." Harry's outburst was received with Dumbledore's low, calm voice, his eyes twinkling, as fucking usual.
"Harry, you do know that it is a -children's- novel which you are a character in, don't you?"
"Oh, go and get a Zimmer frame, and a pipe, dick face."
Disclaimer- I apologize for the apparent miss-typing of J.K.Rowlings publisher, this insert was going to be an alternative ending to book 6, however, the manager at Bloomsbury got pissed on tequila last night and fancied a change from the usual plotline… something happens that is bad, Harry saves the day… blah…blah, I DON'T THINK SO!