Chapter 16

Bella POV

While the weeks after my birthday had been filled with a new kind of intimacy with Jasper, they were also filled with a new understanding with the family. Though there had certainly not been any confusion about the feelings Jasper and I shared, there was a new energy that everyone was seeing and feeling and it impacted us all. One Thursday night I was over for dinner and Jasper was helping me clean up- or rather he had been before he distracted me with those marvellous neck kisses again- when Esmé came into the kitchen to talk with us.

I was mortified when I realised she was just on the other side of the island bench from where I was sitting and practically wrapped around her son. I very quickly jumped down from the bench and would have stood a few feet away from Jasper if he hadn't have pulled me in to lean against his chest.

"So I've been thinking, I think you two should really redecorate your room to make it more suited to the two of you and your personalities." She said, and although I perfectly understood all she said it just went over my head, I couldn't grasp what she was meaning.

"As lovely as the room is right now, Bella either has to sleep on the couch in there or sleep in Alice's room and all the other couples have a bed so you two really should as well. If that's what you want that is. And also the neutral colours are a little boring and masculine in there, why don't you pick a new colour scheme Bella?"

And it hit me. Our room. As in they considered Jasper's room to be mine as well. Before I could even react Jasper did for me.

"I think it sounds lovely, thank you Esmé."

"And also, I have a key for you, we really want you to know you can come and go as you want, there's no need to check first or see if anyone is home, just come."

"Esmé, thank you, but really it's too much." I said shocked.

"No it isn't. You're a part of this family and it is the least we can do to make sure you are happy and comfortable in the house."

And so the following day Jasper drove us to the hardware store and I picked out a new colour scheme of a light grey-blue and a much darker blue and we spent the Saturday afternoon painting, once I was back from La Push of course.

The back wall of Jasper's- I mean our- room was on the glass wall of the house and didn't need any paint, and the two side ones were painted the light blue while the back wall, where the door is, was painted the darker colour and then on the Sunday, Jasper and Emmett fixed dark wooden shelves that appeared to float, all over this darker wall that we then filled with our belongings and books that we wanted to display. While that was happening I shopped with Esmé and Alice for a new bed, and settled on a large dark wood framed bed with the mattress I liked and blue linens.

When the room was finished it was perfect. And it was ours. Even if we only had it for a year it was lovely to have something that was totally us and our first place together. And as the weeks passed the weather became colder, but the activities in that bedroom significantly heated up.

As well as my new room in the house and the key that allowed me to come and go as I pleased, there were other adjustments being made by my supernatural family. Everyone had tried their hardest to find a new hunting schedule to try and decrease both the risk to me and the pressure on Jasper. It took a few weeks, but eventually everyone's hunting trips were staggered and everyone went on a small hunt at least twice a week. There were still some larger family hunting trips on the sunny days where they had to hide, but they no longer relied on these as much to fill up.

The change in the air was evident.

Jasper was more confident around humans in school and town. Edward was still cautious around me but not as weary. The overall mood in the house had lifted and even Rosalie was making more of an effort to be kind to me. For a long time we had been civil to each other but stayed out of the way, but now she made an effort to not leave the room when I entered, and to actually talk to me. She even offered to take a look at the truck when the brakes began to squeak.

This better mood extended to me as well and school began to be less of a chore and charade and more of a normal part of my routine like it used to be. I even began to speak with more people at school again and found I still had a lot of friends who had never believed anything Jessica and Lauren had said. I even began to spend time with Angela outside of school and it was nice to find another normal human friend.

In late October I had my cooking lesson booked for a Saturday afternoon and I had originally planned for Angela to come with me. We were really getting along very well and it was nice to have a normal, human friend who lived nearby and was easy to catch up with. Unfortunately there was an outbreak of stomach flu at school that week and Angela was struck down on the Thursday night so I had to find another person to accompany me for the class. Alice had suggested I ask Esmé to come with me, and I had almost asked her before Angela, but I didn't want her to be uncomfortable and I knew she would probably have to eat some of the food, but when it was only a day until the class and I had no one, I asked her. And I wished I had asked her earlier. She was ecstatic to have been asked and to be able to spend some time with me.

So on the Saturday morning Esmé picked me up in her car, which I hadn't been in before, a white SUV Jaguar. I'd seen it in the garage and the driveway a few times and it suited Esmé perfectly, definitely the car of a devoted mother with multiple children, fancy enough to fit the doctor's wife, and simple enough it didn't stand out too much. Well, sort of. In a bigger city no one would look twice at it but here it was still a bit attention grabbing.

The class itself was lovely, there were another two groups of people attending with us and it was in a little kitchen attached to the Italian restaurant where Edward had taken me on our first date. Of course, I don't think my mother did that on purpose, it was just the only place in town that offered classes. The menu we prepared was bread, a simple margarita pizza, mushroom risotto, and tiramisu for dessert. It was lovely to learn how to cook these things I enjoyed but never thought I would be able to prepare, and Esmé was a great help as well as great company. At the end of the class she even ate some of the food, although I definitely ate most of it. Definitely too much of the food.

Afterwards we drove to the smallish mall in town as Esmé had a few things she needed to pick up and I was happy to do it with her. As we pulled into the parking lot I asked what we needed to get.

"Well pretty much all of us need some new sneakers, we tend to go through them rather quickly, and Rosalie and I are in need of some new hunting clothes." She explained to me as we made our way into the sporting goods store.

It surprised me the shoes she chose, none of them were the top of the range ones, just simple plain mid-range sneakers, in varying brands and styles in line with everyone's personal preference.

"I have to replace these so often that I've limited what I'll spend in the sneakers, otherwise it gets a little unreasonable." Esmé said as we waited for the assistant to bring us the last of the pairs and took them to the counter. She seemed completely oblivious to the sales person's curiosity until he asked if she had a big family as we were being rung up.

"Oh yes," She laughed, "My husband and I have six teenagers, all who love the outdoors so we go through shoes rather quickly." She replied as if discussing the weather rather than buying so many pairs of shoes. "Bella, would you mind going to get a shopping cart to put these in? I think all these shoes might be a little too much for me."

"Of course." I answered as I left to fetch a cart from the supermarket a couple of shops down, shaking my head and trying not to laugh at Esmé's little joke.

Only about ten minutes later we were loading up the car with the new shoes, and several pairs of tights and flannel shirts for Esmé and Rosalie, which I had learnt were apparently their favourite hunting clothes.

"So why tights? Pretty much everyone else wears jeans right?" I asked as we began the drive home.

"They do, and jeans are fantastic for hunting longevity wise but we find that finding inexpensive jeans that fit well enough and don't fall down while we hunt is a little more difficult, and again we go through so many that I don't want to spend too much on them. So fairly recently we discovered a new love for cheap active wear."

"The upside to new fashions then." I added with a yawn.

I had eaten so much at the class and combined with sitting still in the pleasantly warm car, watching the scenery fly past, I was getting drowsy. It wasn't long until I stopped replying to Esmé and actually fell asleep.

I woke up as Jasper was carrying me out of the car in the garage.

"I didn't mean to wake you, sorry." He said as he shut the door with his foot and kissed me gently. "Go back to sleep if you want."

"No, I'm fine. It was just lovely and cosy in the car." I replied, snuggling my face into his neck.

"I can tell, you feel really warm. How was the class?"

"Really great, I had a lovely time but I ate so much. I'm feeling so full that I almost feel sick." I laughed, but truthfully I was feeling quite uncomfortable and I was regretting eating so much.

As we entered the house Emmett called out from where he and Rosalie were snuggled up on the couch asking if we wanted to join them for a movie, and we settled down on the other end of the couch, me in Jasper's lap with the blanket that usually sat on the back of the couch wrapped around me.

About twenty minutes into the comedy my stomach began to rumble uncomfortably and the full feeling from earlier became an unfamiliar heaviness in my stomach. I needed to get to the bathroom and preferably on another floor for some privacy.

"You alright?" Jasper asked as he helped me stand.

"Yeah," I laughed nervously, "Just human issues, I'll be right back." I answered, kissed his cheek to reassure him I was fine, and headed for the stairs.

Halfway up the stairs I began to run.

I made it to the bathroom we had claimed, next to our room, and barely made it to the toilet before my lunch made a violent reappearance. Within seconds Jasper was kneeling beside me, holding my hair and rubbing my back soothingly.

"I think I caught the stomach flu." Was all I said as I leaned back into his chest after I was confident that little episode was over.

I felt like shit.

Jasper only left my side to fill a glass with water so I could rinse my mouth out and once I was ready he helped me stand up and to our room where I headed straight for the bed and curled into the foetal position.

"Do you want a change of clothes?"

I nodded silently, trying to avoid all unnecessary movement that could set my stomach off again. Jasper quickly found a pair of my sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt and placed them on the bed.

"Do you want some privacy?" He gently asked. I nodded again and made to sit up.

The movement from sitting up only caused my head to rush and my stomach to turn causing me to run for the bathroom again where Jasper once again joined me to hold my hair and rub my back.

After the latest episode I asked Jasper to bring me the clothes while I laid on the bathroom floor. I had no intention of doing anything other than laying horizontal for as long as it took for the flu to pass.

Over the next few hours Jasper only left my side to grab a bottle of water and a piece of toast, plain with a little butter, that I managed to eat three bites of before it made a reappearance. Other than that I laid with my head in his lap torn between trying to cool off and knowing I had a fever and wasn't as hot as I thought.

When his shift at the hospital ended Carlisle came to see me, and confirmed that I had the stomach flu like half of Forks seemed to have right now, and that all I needed to do was wait it out and try to keep some water down, which I was managing just fine for now. Everyone else pretty much just left me alone, which is what I wanted, although I knew they were concerned, the house was pretty silent other than the sound of the TV downstairs that was on for my privacy.

I could have easily fallen asleep where I lay on the floor but in the early hours of the morning if Jasper hadn't have carefully carried me to our bedroom and helped me out of my jeans. All I wanted at that moment was a peaceful sleep with the man I loved in our super comfortable bed.

Instead I got a fever dream.

It started fine with me and Jasper all curled up in bed together. Then we were kissing and touching and undressing each other and it kept going. We got to the point we actually had so far, and then it kept going. New things, things I wanted to experience but just hadn't yet due to not having time alone while things were good and I wasn't recovering from a traumatic experience. The dream started off well. It wasn't even a fever dream, just pleasant, although hyper realistic.

Then it really kicked in. Jasper and I were having some beautiful getaway on a tropical island and all we had to do was each other. Still pleasant. And then I was pregnant. There was no way I could be but there I was with a fluttering in my stomach way too early and Jasper wanted to get rid of it and there was some lady who randomly appeared and she knew about this and then she told me I was going to die and everything was going so fast and I was getting weaker as this demon baby was getting bigger and then Jacob was there and I was getting sicker and.. and.. and..

And I woke up covered in sweat and horribly nauseous. I jumped out of the bed to the bathroom and once again barely made it in time to dry heave at the toilet.

"Bella? What's going on?" Jasper asked as he once again took up his position next to the toilet with me. "You're emotions are all over the place. Are you okay?"

"It was a dream but it was so realistic. Terrifying, actually."

"What happened?" He asked in a soothing voice as I could feel his calming influence drift over me.

"I was pregnant." I laughed, knowing how ridiculous it sounded. "We had a demon baby that killed me."

Jasper joined in with the chuckles at that point.

"A demon baby?"

"Yeah I was pregnant with your baby and it grew so quickly it killed me and there were all these strange people around and I had no idea what was going on but it was terrifying." I explained leaning into his chest. Now that my emotions weren't as heightened it made it much easier to relax.

"That's one weird fever dream babe." He laughed as he soothingly stroked my arms and pushed my hair off of my sweaty face.

"Mmhmm." I agreed over a massive yawn, exhaustion overtaking me.

"Back to bed?" He asked.

"I'd rather shower first." I answered. "Help me up?"

Standing up wasn't so bad this time, with Jasper's arm around my waist for support, but staying up right proved to be a little more of a challenge. As soon as I stepped out of his support to get ready for the shower my legs gave out and only his vampire reflexes stopped me from hitting the toilet face first.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." He said soothingly, wiping a tear I didn't even feel off of my cheek. "I'm here. I'll help you."

I just turned and buried my face into his hard chest.

"I just feel useless when I'm sick like this."

"Well it's a good thing you have me to help you darlin'." His kissed the top of my head and wrapped my arms around his waist to free his hands to pull his shirt over his head.

Soon we were both in the shower, the warm water running down my back while I leaned into Jasper's chest.

"I love you Jasper."

"I love you too Bella. And don't be embarrassed, I know you are, but I'll always be here for you when you're sick or need my help."

"I know, I'm just used to being self-sufficient." I tilted my head back so my chin was resting on his chest and looked at his face. "But thank you."

We stayed in the shower for ages, to the point where I was tired and needed to sit, so Jasper sat with his back to the wall and I sat huddled up between his legs side on, once again leaning into his chest. Jasper just rubbed his hand up and down my back and my arm soothingly, helping me relax and forget both the horrible sick feeling that was still sitting in my stomach and the vivid fever dream that had really thrown me.

I was almost asleep again when I heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Is everything okay?" Esmé asked through the door. I just nodded in response, not having enough energy to respond verbally.

"Everything's fine, thanks. We'll be out in a bit." Jasper responded for me.

"Okay, I've left a fresh glass of water and some crackers in your room if Bella wants them." She answered and my heart swelled, it was so nice to be looked after rather than to do the looking after.

"Bella says thank you, as do I."

Eventually I was almost asleep when Jasper carefully lifted me out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy towel around me, and sat me on the counter while he turned the shower off and grabbed his own towel.

"You look so hot babe." I said as I watched the water run down his muscled body.

"You sure you aren't delirious darlin'?" He responded with a laugh that set as both chuckling.

Hello to all of my beautiful, faithful readers and welcome to my new ones. It's time for my usual sorry, life's been hectic/I've had terrible writer's block/I've been depressed, but this time there isn't a good reason. But still, sorry for the wait. I've re-written this a few thousand times and I'm still not 100% happy with it but I have realised that sometimes things just aren't perfect so here it is. Hope you enjoy, please leave me a review with what you think, and I promise that in the next few chapters things will move along and get better, I just wanted to have Bella have a chance to experience being looked after and all that because don't get me wrong, I love Charlie and Renee but they aren't exactly winning any parent awards and Bella isn't as mature as she would like us to believe.