Chapter 3:

Hopelessly lost

AH! DEAR GOD! IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPS! ONLY FOUR REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER! In truth that's more than I got in the average chapter of "So you love Caboose, What is WRONG with you". But the thing is that I was expecting five or six, purely because of the reviewers that jumped in at the end of that fic. After having a heart attack after finding this out, I consulted my therapist who shot me in the knee and said I have ego issues…Whatever. No cookies for him when I take over the world. Of course there is a sign of the apocalypse in this since Clark Cradic, didn't review which is….well…a sign of the apocalypse. And One True Koneko didn't review either but my guess is that she doesn't even know the sequel is up. Whatever. This is what happens when I have no interesting topic to talk about before responding to reviews :D.

….oh and HAVE A MERRY APOCALYPSE EVERYONE!

Cpt.ShaneSchofield: No, no dental. But you DO get a lawn mower after signing up for my army…..my hypothetical army...(eye shift) which doesn't exist (eye shift) all you have to do is buy one….and sign up for me (cough) non existent (cough) army. And of course there are more plot devices than just those two. Think, the cell phone and I-pod are two popular hand held electronic devises. Take your best guess on what the next one will be. If you can't think of it, just play game boy until you get an idea.

Valkyre's messenger: Great! That's TWO people willing to help me take over the world...not that I'm actually planning anything. I am sure as hell not putting subliminal messages in my fics to gather an army of Red vs Blue fans…oh and, when a dropship lands on you, there is a simple procedure to help you get out. Stop, Scream, and Die. It works for me every time. Help Duo Jagan take over the world

Isaac Malott: Sorry but I'm saving O'Malley for a later scene that I have already completely planned out…by that I mean I thought of something funny and I have no idea how to incorporate it into the fic without breaking the laws of physics. Of course, that's why I invented the plot devices. It's what every author needs for a semi logical explanation. You can buy yours at Wal-Mart only for 5.99….and by 5.99, I mean five point ninety-nine million dollars. I do need funds for the purely hypothetical take over the world plan that I have.

Mister Frodo: Actually rocks ARE people. Remember the second chapter of revenge of the robots? I rest my case. And for the record, Christians DO kill everything. Salem which trials and all. Of course I am not going to enforce any religious beliefs of mine because that would be mean. Instead just watch the small font. Help Duo-Jagan take over the world. Remember kids, small font is your friend.

In blue base, Church was just starting to wake up…………..

Church: "…………"

I said… IN BLUE BASE! CHURCH WAS JUST STARTIGN TO WAKE UP!

Church: "AH! WHATS GOING ON!"

Much better

Church: "Oh right, the fic began. I sort of dozed off when you were replying to the reviewers…now I feel an odd urge to help the author take over the world.

MWUAHAHAHAH! SMALL FONT IS YOUR FRIEND!

Church: "Whatever. Anyways I lost my script."

I didn't make a script for you…

Church: "Well that just sucks."

Caboose: "Doc I think the sky is falling."

Doc: "Caboose, the sky is not falling."

Caboose: "Yes it is."

Church: "Oh yah. Now I remember."

Caboose: "Church, tell Doc the sky is falling."

Church: "THE SKY IS NOT FALLING!"

Doc: "Oh good Church your awake."

Church: "I was much happier when I couldn't hear your voice."

Doc: "You still seem a bit angry. Let me get my green light gizmo out."

Doc noticed that Caboose was holding his green light gizmo thingy and took it from him.

Caboose: "What are you doing?"

Doc activated the device and a green light emitted.

Doc: "That's odd, I don't recognize this light…"

Church: "HOW CAN YOU NOT RECOGNIZE THEM! THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!"

Doc: "But this is different…I can't explain it but…."

A green bolt of plasma was hurled out of the gun and hit Church in the chest.

Church: "OH MY GOD THAT BURNS! OH DEAR GOD IT HURTS! IT HURTS! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME DOC!"

Doc: "This isn't my green light gizmo thingy."

Church: "AND WOULD YOU CALL IT BY ITS REAL NAME!"

Doc: "Green light Gizmo thingy IS its technical name."

Doc noticed something lying in the corner.

Doc: "Say wait. This is my Green light Gizmo thingy but then…what's this?"

Everyone, and by everyone I mean Doc since church was too busy rolling around in pain, turned to face Caboose.

Doc: "Caboose, where did you find this thing?"

Caboose: "I told you. The sky is falling."

Doc: "Ok, care to explain?"

Caboose: "I was walking outside, innocently watering my garden…"

Church: "You mean those three rocks you put outside?"

Caboose: "Let me finish the story."

Church: "Dude you can't grow rocks! How many times do I have to tell you that!"

Doc: "Hey weren't you suppose to be rolling around in pain?"

Church: "Nah it wore off."

Caboose: "Guys, its rude to interrupt."

Church: "Yes Caboose, because you NEVER interrupt me."

Caboose: "Exactly. I think you could learn from my example."

Church: "I really need to teach him what sarcasm means."

Caboose: "Anyways, I was out innocently watering my garden, when suddenly the sky fell on my head!"

Doc: "What, you mean this thing?"

Caboose: "Exactly."

Church: "Caboose that's not the sky or a piece of a sky. It's a weapon."

Caboose: "We can ask Tucker when he gets back."

Church: "Why? Where's Tucker?"

Doc: "He went looking for Tex."

Church: "What! I should be the one to talk to her. Tucker will just tick her off!"

Church ran out of the base.

Doc: "But wait! I didn't green light you."

Caboose: "Ooh ooh can you green light me!"

Doc turned his green light gizmo thingy towards Caboose…and it exploded.

Doc: "I'm not even going to ask."

Baby Elite: "BLARG!"

Meanwhile the reds were…

Griff: "HOPELESSLY LOST!"

Sarge: "We're not. We know exactly where we are."

Griff: "Oh yah! Then where are we!"

Sarge: "Five feet in front of our base."

Griff: "Oh, right."

About two hours later…..

Griff: "WERE HOPELESSLY LOST!"

Sarge: "Were not lost. We know exactly where we are!"

Griff: "Oh yah? Then where are we!"

Simmons: "Wow dajavoo."

Sarge: "Ten feet in front of red base."

A really long time later

Griff: "HOPELESSLY LOST!"

Sarge: "We're not. We know exactly where we are."

Griff: "Oh yah! Then where are we!"

Simmons: "Wow dajavoo."

Donut: "Wow dajavoo."

Sarge: "We're in the middle of no where."

Griff: "SEE WE'RE LOST!"

Simmons: "Well at least this fic is actually going somewhere."

Donut: "dajavoo."

Simmons: "You can stop now Donut."

Sarge: "If we keep heading this way, we will eventually encounter the enemy ship."

To give you an idea, they were in waterworks. This ship was in longest.

Sarge: "Hey, what's that strange thing over there?"

Donut: "A strange thing?"

Griff: "Oh god, don't tell me that the author is only going to give us about a page in this chapter and leave us with a pointless cliff hanger."

Meanwhile…

Griff: "I KNEW IT!"

I SAID!...Meanwhile…

Mangor: "Using my expert tracking skills, and my instincts I can conclude that…I am hopelessly lost."

Mangor looked at his surroundings.

Mangor: "Ok I appear to be in a cave, near a poisoned pool that has skulls floating in it."

It then occurred to Mangor that he should perhaps step out of the cave and check his surroundings.

Mangor: "TWO BASES! Excellent. Twice as many humans to kill."

Mangor charged into red base (A/N just incase you didn't catch on, this is coagulation)

Of course all of red team went away from their base, so Mangor raided their refrigerator and moved onto blue base.

Doc: "Hm…this appears to be some kind of alien weapon."

Caboose: "Doc, the sky isn't an alien weapon. That is just silly."

Doc: "Hey, should that baby really be eating your elbow?"

Caboose: "He's just playing…what's that red stuff coming out of it?"

Mangor used active camouflage to sneak into the base.

Mangor: "Two demons? I must be in hell."

Mangor was about to attack doc when he noticed the baby elite.

Magnor: "I know that elite…he has the blood of the heretic. Condemned to finding the sacred icon for his sins…but this couldn't be? Does this mean that this planet has…"

Mangor noticed an I-pod lying in the corner. Doc had fortunately thrown it in a different corner than it was suppose to be in so Mangor didn't notice the cell phone.

Mangor: "One of the ancient relics…I must alert my brother to this."

Doc: "Say Caboose do you by any chance see a floating sword?...that's talking about his brother."

Caboose: "Doc, I think your going crazy. I don't see anything."

Doc: "Maybe because your looking at the wall."

Mangor realized that his cover was blown so left in the most inconspicuous way possible.

Mangor: "I'M NOT AN INVISIBLE ALIEN TRYING TO KILL YOU! HEY LOOK AT THAT DISTRACTION! Mangor then jumped through the window. But since blue base didn't have any windows he actually crashed through the wall."

Caboose turned around.

Caboose: "Doc I don't' know what your talking about. I don't see anything."

Meanwhile….

Griff: "YES! WE HAVE MORE THAN JUST A PAGE OF SENSLESS HUMOR!"

Sarge: "What is this?"

Sarge bent down and picked up a Nintendo DS

Griff: "That's it? And now here comes the stupid cliff hang-,"

That was chapter 3. What will this DS do? Will Mangor ever kill a demon? Will the religious fanatics do anything in this? Where's O'Malley? What ever happened to that other covenant ship? Who ate my muffin? Where did my sanity run off to? Find out next time on RED vs BLUE! Appearance of the Covenant. Maybe by then the lazy author will find a less corny title for it.