Chapter 21

Bella POV

The rain didn't let up at all over the next week. I found myself longing for days where I didn't have permanently wet socks or damp hair, and for feeling safe while driving. In fact I pretty much just gave up driving, I wasn't going anywhere Jasper or another Cullen was so I just let them do what they loved best.

I decided to give the reservation a bit of a wide berth for a while. I wanted to be there for Leah, but as good as my intentions were, I was still a very new friend to her and I was also struggling to stay impartial in everything when I knew so much more than I could tell. My conversation with Billy kept replaying in my head as well. While well meaning, he had gone about it the wrong way and tried to tell me what to do even though he didn't know everything, and he really didn't have any reason to try and be an authority figure in my life. Sure had I grown up in Forks he would be a pseudo-uncle of sorts, but I barely knew the man before this year.

Then, there was the Sam-Emily thing. I briefly spoke with Jasper about it, and while he knew next to nothing about the wolves, he did say that the whole mate thing could theoretically happen in other not-exactly-human people. One fact that really cemented our thoughts on this was the fact that I was able to feel and recognise the bond we had even though I was human. Even if it did take me a while to cotton on to it.

Instead I focused on school. It wasn't hard to throw myself into it around this time of the year, pretty much everyone was focusing on SATs, and although I had already completed the test and had a score that would allow me to most colleges, I went through the motions of studying with everyone at school, as did Jasper, Alice, and Edward. It's not like we actually needed these results anyway, we wouldn't be attending college for quite some time, and even then I was reassured there were ways around it and ways to fake it. It was simply the first time I was fully involved in a human charade.

It was a relaxing week, and in what had become my usual routine, I spent Friday and Saturday night in my second home, spending all night in Jasper's arms.

I wished the relaxed feeling had lasted.

Monday night there was a report on the news of a possible serial killer or gang in Seattle. As soon as I saw the report, as Charlie and I were finishing up with dinner; I knew it wasn't just a human issue. There were reports of people going missing, but mostly of runaways and homeless youth, not people easily traced or identified, and then there were the bodies. Dozens of bodies had been found with what appeared to be immense trauma such as broken necks and burned to where they were no longer identifiable other than with dental records.

Charlie saw the concerned look on my face.

"Not good what's happening in Seattle, but doesn't look like it's spreading anywhere, I'm sure they'll sort it out." He said, trying to reassure me.

"It's horrific what those people went through." I responded, knowing all too well the signs of a vampire attack and the horror of being at the centre of one.

"Not to mention their poor families. Can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child, all of the victims are so young." Charlie added, driving a knife through my heart.

After a little small talk I excused myself to my room where I was thankful to find Jasper.

I was grateful that Jasper didn't say anything, or look judgemental. He just let me curl up between his legs and let me fully think about how my life choices would affect the people I knew. If we faked my death then it would be exactly like all those families in Seattle trying to find answers, even when there were none to find.

A part of me wanted to cry. Wanted to cry for my dad, my mom, Phil, Jacob, Angela, and Leah. Cry for the people who would never know what happened to me. And to cry for myself, for making this choice.

But I couldn't cry. Especially not for myself. Because this wasn't a choice.

It's like asking someone to choose between life and death. They would always chose life, and those were my two options here. A life with Jasper, with the Cullen's, a life that lasted forever. Or death. Without the other half of my soul that was Jasper, there was no me.

I tilted my head up and placed a gentle kiss on Jasper's jaw.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"What for?" He asked.

"Letting me have my little breakdown without asking a million questions or telling me it means I'm making the wrong choice."

"No matter what, I'm here for you. Always. And I'll support any decision you make."

I spent most of the week worrying and dwelling on what Charlie had said. I needed to find a way to enact my plans to become immortal without also killing my family.

Jasper was true to his word in being supportive during the week. He didn't say anything to the rest of the family, knowing I would rather keep this private for fear of them taking this as a sign I wasn't ready, and allowing me to take the time I needed.

By Friday I still didn't have a plan as to what I would do, but I knew that if faking my death was the way we were going to do this, we needed to make sure it was something that Charlie and Renee couldn't blame themselves for. Easier said than done, but something I could have a little more time to think on and consult with the others at a later date.

I sent Jasper out hunting on Friday night. It had been too long since he had any time out with his brothers that I insisted he join them for a night of hunting and general misbehaving. I decided I needed a girly night with Alice anyway, she had been begging me for so long.

I kissed Jasper goodbye on the back porch and told him to enjoy the time with his brothers and watched for just a second before they disappeared into the trees, already laughing and rough housing. I made my way upstairs to Alice's room where I found her lounging on her stomach sketching something in a large book while she rhythmically moved her feet through the air to the music playing through her hidden sound system.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" I asked as I tried to gracefully slide onto the bed next to her. I actually landed a little heavy, but she thankfully didn't comment.

"I haven't actually got much planned," She admitted looking up from her sketch. "Just usual things I guess; music, nail painting, gossiping." She grinned.

"Sounds good to me." I answered as I carefully kicked my shoes off the side of the bed. "So what are you drawing?" I asked.

"A dress, maybe for you, maybe for prom, but I'm not sure yet." She answered.

"Alice…" I whined, not wanting to think about prom for quite some time, if at all.

"Oh please Bella, I have the perfect idea for a dress for you." She said gesturing to the sketch. I had to agree that the dress she had drawn was rather beautiful, strapless, simple, and mid-calf length.

"It is beautiful. But prom just isn't my thing." I tried to reason with her.

"I thought you wanted to do this whole high school thing properly while you are still human?" She asked, hitting right on my one weak spot about school.

"I've already been to prom once."

"But not with Jasper," She argued. "And you had that awful cast on so you couldn't even dance properly."

"I'm not saying yes." I said before taking a deep breath. "But I'm also not saying no. Yet."

Alice squealed something unintelligible and wrapped one tiny arm around me to pull me in for a side hug.

"We'll have so much fun, you and Jasper, and I guess I'll get Edward to take me." She said before getting that blank look on her face that signalled a vision. "Oh"

"What is it?" I asked, trying to keep calm and hoping this wasn't going to be bad.

"I'm not going to prom, I don't think I'm graduating with you either." She said with a smile. "I think I need to be with my mate before that."

"That's exciting that you'll meet her so soon, but I'm kind of sad I don't get to graduate with you. Or do the whole prom thing with you if I have to do it."

"Don't worry, wherever I am I'll give you plenty of help and advice." She said giving me another tight side hug.

I truly was excited for Alice to meet her mate and to move on with that aspect of her life. It had only occurred to me recently how much it probably hurt Alice that I was with her ex-husband. She was my best friend, and she had never said anything to her or Jasper, or anyone else as far as they knew, but Jasper did tell me there were times when Alice felt somewhat jealous. I understood, even if they both knew what they were getting themselves into when they married all those decades ago, it would have to be difficult for Alice to deal with Jasper finding happiness with me well before Alice even met her mate.

"Alice, are you okay?" I asked. "I mean with me being with Jasper." I added.

"Of course I am Bella, I'm more than okay by it." She answered sincerely.

"It's just that it must be hard for you right? You two were married for so long and then I just waltzed into your lives and changed everything."

"Oh Bella," Alice said soothingly, curling up against my side. "Is that really what you think?"

"Well yeah, I saw you guys when you were together, and I saw how happy as a family you were before I forced my way in." I replied.

"You didn't force your way in Bella, there was a place for you." She reassured me and I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my elbow, facing her and letting her continue.

"Decades ago, before I even met Jasper I saw so many visions of this family, and then Jasper, and I always knew I would fall in love with him, but that our love would never last forever. And then I found him, and eventually found the Cullen's, and you know the main details." She said, and I nodded, I had heard all of this before. "But what you didn't know was what I saw happening. Everything in the family was perfect for now, but it wasn't going to last. I didn't know the details, and I still don't, but something was going to happen to pull us apart. But now we are on a different path, and I think you have something to do with that."

"How so?" I asked, not believing I could have that ability.

"Well sometimes I saw people leaving, sometimes I saw threats from outside, and sometimes I just saw a breakdown in relationships." She said looking sad. "I could never see reasons why or ways to stop it, but then when I had a particularly interesting vision of you, the rest stopped."

"You really think it was me?" I asked, still in disbelief.

"Yeah, I think your influence on us has had a really great affect. Jasper is learning to trust himself, Esmé and Carlisle have someone they can really look after, Emmett too, and Rosalie is thawing out, and Edward was able to learn to not be so self-centred."

"And you really think I'm responsible for all that?" I once again asked, surely I was misunderstanding something here.

She nodded with such a solemn look on her face that she nearly convinced me.

"Look Alice," I said with a sigh. "I don't see why it would be me who's had such a big impact on the future. I am just doing my best trying to live my life as well as I can while surrounded by all this supernatural." I took a deep breath. "And I don't see why so many people seem to think I'm so great, I'm a pretty ordinary person."

"Bella," Alice said, gently holding my face to make sure I was looking her in the eye. "You do wonderful things." She smiled at me with such conviction that I couldn't help but believe it.

I pulled her into a hug and we lay there together for some time on her large and very comfortable bed. She curled up so her head was resting on my chest, her ear above my heart, and I rested my cheek on the top of her head. I normally didn't do touchy-feely, especially with anyone other than Jasper, but Alice was such an affectionate person it didn't feel strange. And I had really come to appreciate the cold hardness of vampires and find comfort in what should be a very uncomfortable situation.

"Are you okay after this week?" She asked me, still listening to my heartbeat.

"Yeah, you knew about that?" I asked.

"I saw your conversation with your Dad and then with Jasper, I tried not to but I'm so attuned to both you and Jasper that I see you guys a lot."

"It's okay, I should have realised you saw it all. But yeah. I am okay, it just hit home what I'm doing, you know?"

"Yeah I know." She softly replied.

"Well," I said somewhat dramatically, and taking a leaf out of my mother's book, "Enough with the heavy." I sat up and Alice did the same. "So are you going to tell me about this dress I'm wearing to prom?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

Alice immediately grasped what I was doing and launched into a lecture about the colours and fabrics she was thinking would work for me. The conversation required minimal effort on my part which suited me fine, but was actually quite a nice was to spend time with the hyperactive girl I had come to realise was my sister.

As the evening progressed, our topics of light conversation moved on from the prom dress that I was most definitely just humouring Alice with, to other fashion related topics. We spoke about new clothes Alice wanted to get me for winter, make up trends she wanted me to try, some leather jacket she had seen that she thought Jasper would totally go wild after seeing me in, and new hairstyles. I relented on the last one and let her have her way- brushing my hair and braiding it. I had to admit she was very good and the resulting braid that stretched down my back was beautiful.

Being with Alice like this was so easy. I could forget about the supernatural problems for the evening and remember how to be a teenage girl for once. It was something I hadn't been able to do anywhere near enough, and while I once thought this kind of behaviour to be juvenile, Alice had taught me to appreciate the release I could find in it.

I fell asleep sometime around midnight, surrounded by the sweet scent of Alice's picturesque bedroom and the soothing melodies of the music still streaming through the room. I was peaceful. And I was happy.

Hey everyone, hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's quite a bit shorter than the last few have been, but I wanted to end it here. I feel like I've put Bella in so many unhappy situations in this story that I wanted to give her a girl's night. This night with Alice is actually pretty heavily based on ones I have with some of my closest friends. We aren't the touchy-feely types but there is something about sharing a bed with your girls, especially when one of you needs some comforting, and everyone being there and comforting each other.

Anyway, I'll try update soon to make up for not updating last week, but I had a small medical procedure done and I've been feeling rather under the weather so that's why I gave last week a miss.

As usual, please review, I would love it make it over 100 reviews this chapter.

xx