Chapter 6

Blatant Rip Offs

Yah anyways I posted a one shot Naruto fic, but it has spoilers BEWARE OF SPOILERS DAMN IT! Anyways thanks to you guys (the readers) my hypothetical army took over Australia. Except no one knows. In face the people in charge before I took over are still in charge, and not even they know. In fact not even my army knows…but that doesn't mean it isn't taken over…even if there isn't any real difference……..

Undertaker316: Well here is another chapter. My fics aren't necessarily the funnies out there…..but if you go around TELLING people that they are, I will give you a cookie.

Clark Cradic: I know I have seen the awesome….SNAKE! And thx for the advice, I will try to keep most of my jokes at a possible level. But, for the next couple of chapters (and the first scene of this one) expect at least some insanity. What else are the plot devices good for? And no I wouldn't have seen your friends because (cries) I am a horrible procrastinator and I haven't even gotten the wireless connection for the X-box 360 (thank god I have halo on comp)…….hey why are there a bunch of people with torches and pitch forks at my door?

Val of clan valkyre: There is only one magical DS in existence and unless you can take it from O'Malley you can't really get it. And if you CAN snipe people with a Halo TWO pistol….then…wow…I mean…the Halo 2 pistol is an abomination. WHY COULDN'T THEY KEEP THE OLD PISTOL!

Isaac Malott: The plot device can only do so much. I mean, just because it can bend time and space doesn't mean it can make a baby elite grow up. That would be silly. I don't put impossible things into my fics do I….yah I'm completely ignoring the slow motion jokes, the switching to Halo 2 jokes, the plot hole jokes, and the HOW IS THAT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE jokes……yah…ok then never mind that sounds like my kind of plan.

Duo: "Well not that Australia is under my control we can get on with the fic."

Sekah: "Um…Duo…"

Duo: "What?"

Sekah: "It isn't showing the story it's showing us talk."

Duo: "It is? Must have plugged in a wire where it didn't belong or something."

Sekah: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! ITS SIMPLY A MATTER OF WHAT YOU TYPE THERE IS NO WIRE THAT CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN"

Penguin God: "What's going on?

Sekah: "Duo's screwing up the fic."

Duo: "It's my fic I can do what I want."

Sekah: "Why don't you just fix it."

Duo: "HOW!"

Penguin God: "Why not just type what's going on in the story?"

Duo: "THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA! Sekah, why didn't you think of that?"

Sekah: "I AM GOING TO RIP YOU HEAD OFF AN-

Marine 2: "-usly bending space and time, and allowing the user to do whatever he wishes."

Doc: "Wow, thanks for just describing to me in full detail how plot devices work and how anyone can build them in a step by step description."

Marine 2: "No problem."

Doc: "And its not like the author did anything to stop the reader from seeing that part of the fic, so everyone who reads the fic can make their own plot device."

Marine 2: "Exactly."

MWUHAHAHAHAHAH! I am so evil.

Doc: "Anyways what exactly did you mean by, beware of the orange one?"

Marine 2: "Oh that's right! At the end of last chapter we were at a cliff hanger. I wonder when the author will go back to that scene…"

Meanwhile…back to wherever the hell we were at the end of chapter 5…..

Griff slowly walked towards the fanatics.

Red Fanatic: "HALT! THEE WHO IS NEITHER BLUE OR RED! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE COME HERE FOR!"

O'Malley: "We have come to claim this land. And make you our loyal slaves. By our I mean mine. All this idiotic host needs is the Oreos you make."

Griff: "Yah you can take over the world and all but I need my Oreos."

Blue Fanatic: "NEVER! THESE OREOS ARE MADE AS SACRIFICES TO THE GREAT AUTHOR! WHOS DIVINE POWER ILLUMINATES THE…"

Griff: "Wait aren't you suppose to worship a flag?"

Red Fanatic: "Yah that to. Remember we can have as many gods as we want."

O'Malley: "Then just make me one of your new gods!"

Red Fanatic: "WHY SHOULD WE!"

O'Malley: "Because I have a really good evil laugh."

Blue Fanatic: "Oh…ok…I suppose there's nothing wrong with having three gods."

DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!

After a million unnecessary close ups, our favorite fanatic steps up to address his fellow fanatics.

Purple Fanatic: "He was the demon in the battle of the Blood Gulch Hill, that tried to separate us from this purple flag!"

Fanatics: (gasp)

Purple Fanatic: "This purple flag has united our people for generations!"

O'Malley: "You only got it two fics ago how could it unite any other generations?"

Purple Fanatic: "AND NOW HE HAS COME TO TEAR US APART!"

O'Malley: "No, no, no. You got it completely wrong. You're the only one I am going to tear apart."

Purple Fanatic: "Just try me."

In a blatant Matrix rip off, O'Malley and the purple fanatic ran at each other shooting with magnums.

The two hit each other in mid air and fell down, still shooting over the others head.

Purple Fanatic: "Your empty."

O'Malley: "So are you."

Purple Fanatic: "No I'm not." The fanatic shot O'Malley in the arm.

O'Malley: "OW THAT HURT! Oh well. NOW you are empty."

The fanatic switched to his alternate weapon, the purple flag.

O'Malley pulled out the DS.

O'Malley: "Lets see how many movie/game/anime rip offs the author cam make in this one fighting scene."

The fanatic charged at O'Malley.

Purple Fanatic: "DANCE OF THE CRESENT MOON!"

O'Malley: "What? A Naruto rip off!"

The Purple Fanatic appeared above O'Malley and descended using his flag as a sword.

O'Malley quickly used the touch screen of the DS to throw the fanatic against the wall.

O'Malley: "HAH! You can't win."

The Fanatic disappeared in a puff of smoke.

O'Malley: "What? A shadow clone?"

The real fanatic ran out from behind a rock, raising the flag as a weapon. But O'Malley easily side stepped and kicked the fanatic.

O'Malley: "You fool! The two screens of the DS make me virtually omnipotent."

Religious Fanatic: "Damn, the only way I can win is if I make up some fake, sad flash backs. Come on flash backs."

FLASHBACKIFY

Morphious: "You are the one."

Purple Fanatic: "I am?"

Morphious: "No I was talking to Neo."

Purple Fanatic: "Oh."

Different Flash Back

Bad guy: "Well Mr. Purple Fanatic, I have placed you in an easily escapable situation involving an exotic and slow death. What will you do now?"

UNFLASHBACKIFY

O'Malley shot the Fanatic at point blank range with a shot gun.

Everyone: (GASP)

Purple Fanatic: "You…Bastard…you interrupted…the flashback…what kind of fiend are you?"

O'Malley: "The names O'Malley. James, O'Malley."

Purple Fanatic: "Damn, that's three rip offs that I've counted so far in this one fight…not bad."

O'Malley: "Your time is over. It ends now."

Purple Fanatic: "That's where your wrong. Knowing the author he will probably switch scenes to create an unnecessary cliff hanger."

O'Malley: "Damn your right!" O'Malley reached for the DS just as-,"

Sarge: "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE AUTHRO DIDN'T INCLUDE US IN THE LAST CHAPTER! After all of my patronage. HOW COULD HE BETRAY ME!"

Simmons: "Sir, you don't even know what that means."

Sarge: "Yes I do…It means…that if you don't shut up I will throw you off this ship."

Sarge, Simmons, and Donut were sitting on top of the Achilles. You know the human warship I only included in the first chapter.

What had happened was, as they fell, the warship was flying out of the hole. They landed without taking any fall damage. And the Ship was flying towards an unknown location.

Donut: "Lets look at the bright side. We aren't dead!"

Sarge: "Quit being an optimist. You should always be a pessimist."

Donut: "What if it's the happiest day of your life?"

Sarge: "Think of how sad it is that, there won't be any day of your life that is happier."

Donut: "What if Griff died?"

Sarge: "No one to torture."

Donut: "Got to sleep with Tom Cruise."

Sarge: "I have plenty to be miserable about although I'm not sure about you."

Donut: "Getting one million dollars."

Sarge: "Isn't two million dollars."

Donut: "Getting two million dollars."

Sarge: "Isn't one million dollars."

Donut: "You could throw the first million away."

Sarge: "But then it wouldn't be two million dollars anymore."

Donut: "Yah, well, um…I give up."

Sarge: "What about you Simmons?"

Simmons: "I totally agree with you sir. Being a pessimist is the way to go."

Sarge: "So you have no harsh feelings over the fact that I view our survival in the pessimistic sense, as you not dieing."

Simmons: "None at all Sarge."

Sarge: "And that I view your ass kissing, as you having an excuse to talk and annoying me to death."

Simmons: "Um, do you want me to stop ass kissing?"

Sarge: "Of course not. Kiss ass at will."

Simmons: "Thank you sir, that is am amazing order. You keep on proving what a good leader you are."

Sarge quickly grabbed Donut.

Sarge: "Just so that we're clear, the order kiss ass at will doesn't apply to you."

Donut: "Awww…"

Simmons: "Hey Sarge, this is a human ship. Right?"

Sarge: "Yes."

Simmons: "Then aren't these our allies?"

Sarge: "Of course not. This ship belongs to the blues."

Simmons: "How do you know?"

Sarge: "Because it doesn't belong to the reds."

Simmons: "How do you know?"

Sarge: "Because it belongs to the blues."

Simmons: "But how, but, but but………yes sir your logic is flawless."

Donut: "Hey guys, what's that thing?"

A flood zombie crawled up the side of this ship.

Sarge: "That is what the army calls a marine."

More zombies started climbing up.

Donut: "Doesn't it look a bit…dead?"

Sarge: "Of course not. It is as alive as ever. Look at it slowly walking towards us."

Donut: "And what are those tentacle things on it?"

Sarge: "Some kind of new age weapon."

Simmons: "Sir, I think those are the zombies we encountered in chapter two."

Sarge: "Really?"

Simmons: "Yes sir. But don't worry. Griff forced me to see a lot of cheesy zombie movies. And we won't make the same mistake the characters in those make. Hey where's Donut?"

Donut was approaching a little girl who was in the feeble position.

Donut: "It's ok. Everything is all right."

The girl didn't respond.

Donut: "How about I lower my weapon, assuming your alive, and carelessly approach you."

Girl: "…"

Donut: "Oh come on. Turn that frown upside down."

The girl turned around to reveal she was eating a human arm.

Donut: "See it's ok now."

Sarge: "DONUT! QUIT PLAYING WITH LITTLE KIDS AND GET OVER HERE!"

Donut: "OK! Sorry little girl. I have to go now. We can play later."

Donut skipped happily towards Sarge, still completely oblivious about the zombie girl.

Sarge: "How do we kill them?"

Simmons: "Well in the movies, you have to shoot their heads."

Sarge: "Great idea. In halo head shots are the best kind. And it's not like in Halo, shooting flood in the head do absolutely nothing."

………………..five minutes later……………….

Sarge: "WE WASTED ALL OF OUR AMMO!"

Simmons: "I don't get it, we shot all of our bullets at their heads. And only one died."

A single flood parasite jumped into the dead zombie and reanimated the corpse.

Sarge: "What else do you know about the movies."

Simmons: "Well, zombies are slow. And only an idiot can get bitten because they move at two miles a year. And simply hitting them with their guns should kill them."

Sarge: "Great. It's not like melee attacks do nothing to flood in Halo."

………………………..5 seconds later…………….

Sarge: "Simmons your plans have completely backfired so far. Not a single one is dead."

Simmons: "Don't worry. The only way they can hurt us is by biting us. And none of these guys have mouths."

Sarge: "Great, It's not like in Halo, flood are incredible evil alien zombie ninjas of doom that can knock us fifty back with one…"

A single flood hit Donut into Sarge, Who flew into Simmons, and they were all pushed out of the ship.

Sarge: "NO! NOT ANOTHER POINTLESS FALL!"

The three landed on solid ground.

Donut: "Where are we?"

Sarge: "We are at red base blood gulch."

The three looked around and sure enough they were at blood gulch.

Simmons: "Wow. What are the odds?"

Several drop ships flew out of the Achilles.

Sarge: "It looks like we have company."

………………Meanwhile……….

Darlmon: "We have finished gathering all forces necessary for attacking the Spartans.

Mangor, you shall lead the attack by ground, and I shall lead by air."

Mangor: "All right."

Darlmon: "But not this chapter there's not enough time."

Mangor: "DO'H!"

Darlmon: "What?"

Mangor: "Nothing. Just another blatant rip off."

Darlmon: "Isn't the joke blatant rip off a blatant rip off of legendary frogs flash movies?"

Mangor: "………shut up."

Yah, this was chapter 6. In case you haven't noticed. This fic will be more than seven chapters long OMG! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Yah I know its creepy. Well anyways, read and review.