Early the next morning, Mike came charging through the door of Deakins' office. "Where's Barek?"

Deakins looked up from his paperwork. "She's not here yet. Can I help you?"

Mike shook his head violently. "No, no, I need Carolyn. Where is she? She's usually here by now." He gritted his teeth.

Helga began squalling loudly, which made Mike more frantic. He spotted Barek walking through the door. Mike literally pushed other workers out of the way to reach her. "It's about time!" he spouted impatiently. "I have a problem."

Barek became alarmed at her wails and noticed her tear-streaked face. "Oh, you poor thing. Are you OK?"

Someone brought in a surly looking man off of the street for questioning. The man stopped and took a glimpse at the crying child.

"Hey, what are you looking at?" Mike screamed pointing a finger at him. "Move along and stop eyeing my daughter!"

The man shuffled away and Mike moved her closer to himself. "Nothing but a bunch of pervs in here. I can't trust anyone in this joint."

"Then why did you bring her?" Barek asked slowly.

"Oh, right. There seems to be a problem I can't fix."

"Just one?" Barek was amazed he didn't have a whole list.

"Yeah, one!" Mike was annoyed by her sarcastic tone. "Look at her. What's wrong with her?"

They both stared at the sobbing baby. "Um, I'm going to take a stab in the dark here, but I'd say she's crying."

Mike slapped his hand to his forehead. "Well, duh! Why is she crying?"

"Did you feed her?"

"Yes...and before you ask, I burped her this time."

Barek checked it off of her mental list. "Is she getting sleep?"

"Yes, the kid sleeps all the time. She's getting sleep." He dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"Did you check to see if she's sick?"

Logan was getting irate. "Now, how would I do that? Ask her? Perhaps, she'll tell me the problem."

Barek put her hands up to calm him down. "No, I mean did you take her temperature?"

"Um, no."

"Do you have a thermometer?"

Mike snapped his fingers. "Yes, I picked one up when I bought diapers the other day."

"Good," Barek motioned towards the diaper bag. "Get it out and take her temperature to see if it's high. You may have to take her to the doctor."

Logan rummaged around in the bag to look for it. One of the fellow detectives walked by and started laughing. "Hey, Logan, that pretty, pink bag matches your outfit perfectly."

A wave of guffaws spread throughout the room. Logan stopped searching and glared at the man. "Oh, really? Do you know what would go perfectly with your face? My fist!"

Barek squeezed Mike's arm. "Focus...Helga."

Logan cracked his knuckles and continued to search the bag after giving the detective a few more deadly looks. "Here it is! Now, you hold her mouth open and I'll shove it in."

Barek rolled her eyes. "Mike, you don't stick it in her mouth."

Mike had a strange look on his face. "Where do you stick it then?"

Carolyn cocked her head to the side and waited for him to comprehend. Finally, it was apparent by the appalled look on his face that he understood.

"Say what? You don't mean...down there?"

"I'm afraid so, Mike." Carolyn nodded.

"Oh, come on! I can't do that! That's cruel and unusual punishment!" Mike yelled out, sickened by the mere thought.

Barek threw her hands in the air. "It has to be done!"

"Oh, no it doesn't!" Mike threw the thermometer back in the bag. "There has to be another way. I'm not sticking that in my kid!"

She had to keep pressing him. "You have to see if she has a fever so..."

A thought came to her. He'd mentioned diapers earlier. "Logan, when was the last time you changed her diaper?"

He thought for a moment. "It can't be that. I just changed her a few hours ago."

"How long?" she demanded.

Mike hesitated. "About nine hours ago," he mumbled in a low voice.

"What was that? I better not have heard what I think I heard," Barek growled.

Mike scuffled his feet along the floor and didn't look at her. "Nine hours," he confessed.

Carolyn hit the roof. "You haven't even changed her diaper for nine hours? No wonder she's crying! You change it right now!" she chided him loudly.

"Do I have to?" Mike twisted his lips to one side.

"Of course you do! Would you want to sit in that all day?" Barek's face was bright red.

"Alright. Calm down." He had rarely seen her get this agitated. She was always the calm one in all situations. But he could understand her fury. He wasn't up for father-of-the-year. He could barely take care of himself, much less a baby. He pulled out a diaper and lifted Helga onto the desk.

"Not here, you change her in the bathroom!" Carolyn hissed angrily.

"Right." Mike felt a blush come over his face. He picked up an unhappy Helga and maneuvered all the needed items towards the bathroom. He paused and gave her a pleading look. "Can you show me how to change her?"

Barek folded her arms across her chest. "You mean to tell me that you haven't changed her diaper yet? Who did it before now?"

"My dates." He looked away, feeling guilty.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Barek seethed dangerously to the breaking point. "Come on, I'll show you."

Mike gave her an appreciative look and followed her to the restroom. She hung an out-of-order sign on the women's restroom door so nobody would walk in on them and see Mike.

"So this is what your all's bathroom looks like?" Mike whistled as he glanced around. "Nice, very nice."

Barek unfolded a clean diaper. "From what I hear, you're a regular in here."

"Very funny." Mike smirked. "Don't believe everything you hear."

Barek chuckled. "What I hear about you is usually true." She cooed to Helga,

"Look, sweetie, this is the place where you were conceived."

Mike shushed her as if the whole precinct could hear. "Don't tell her things like that. It will give her nightmares."

"Like having you for a father isn't enough?" She cackled.

Logan wasn't amused. "I'll have you know that I have never done anything like that in here...it was in the 227 precinct..."

Barek removed the diaper and a horrible stench filled the air. Mike was knocked backwards from the smell. "Holy crap! How can one little baby do all that? The smell... the smell..." he choked. "I'd rather use the thermometer!"

His piercing screams echoed through the whole precinct.

Thanks for reading. Will Mike ever get the hang of caring for a baby? Read on...