Chapter 7

Setting up the stage

REMEMBER CHAPTER 8 WILL BE UP TOMMAROW!... yah anyways I FINALLY got a wireless adapter for my X-box 360. The problem was, that the X-box wasn't set up ANYWHERE close to where it would receive a good enough signal. So that was a HUGE waste of my money!... Oh well I still have Halo for the PC multiplayer.

Val of clan valkyre: Of course there will be more rip offs, I'm not sure what of though. And don't worry, eventually you will get your hands on the magical DS. All you really have to do is bribe O'Malley with….I don't know. Part of Europe or something.

Stab 101/Isaac/Evil Isacc/Isacc/Mallot/ Some guy? I'm not sure what you mean. O'Malley IS in the story………If your wondering if he is going to do something that relates to the other RvB chars…that happens in afew more chapters. Thse chapters are building up to that.

Clark Cradic: My halo 1 Screen name is Shinigami, and Penguin god's is Truth. And no I'm not in a clan. The point of the matter is, that Hayate rocks, and that other guy with the sunglasses, who's name I can never seem to remember rocks as well……you know that other guy….came in to help Kakashi and Gai fight off the sound nins…..You know the guy who's name they only say once or twice the entire series. Yah that guy.

Cpt.ShaneSchofield: I know. It's all a conspiracy. THE GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING FLORIDE IN OUR WATER! ITS TRUE I TELL YOU ITS TRUE!...and for the record I did NOT completely steal that joke from the original series….or maybe I did….I don't know anymore my sanity has finally left the confines of my mind. I thought that happened years ago but I was dead wrong! Now I am hearing a small voice in the back of my head. I think its my conscience. It tells me to burn things………..Isn't it amazing how, at the end of this reply it had nothing to do with your review? Oh and you haven't said Ha Ha in a while. Which must mean that…….YOUR AN IMPOSTER!

Church: "Accusing your reviewers of being imposters…dude that's an all time low."

Why is it that Church is the only character that sees my replies to the reviewers?

Church: "How should I know? It's your story."

Tex: "Church, are you talking to your imaginary friend again?"

Church: "HE'S REAL I TELL YOU!"

In case you can't remember…..or you don't have something called an attention span, Wyoming is driving in a tank back to blood gulch. Tex is in the ghost, aiming her weapons at the tank in case of any sudden move, and Church and Caboose are sitting on the moving tank.

Wyoming: "Well we're almost there. But once we get there what are you going to do with me?"

Tex: "Take you prisoner, and keep you locked up until you are of use to me."

Wyoming: "In other words you are going to kill me, and then repair the tank to use it as a weapon."

Tex: "Pretty much."

Meanwhile……

Tucker: "I wonder why this tank doesn't talk the way Sheila does."

Sheila: "Yes Andy, I agree, the author does not use us enough in the story."

Andy: "I KNOW! I mean, I'm a permanent character aren't I?"

Sheila: "Actually, Rooster Teeth is only going to keep you around until they use you to blow up and send everyone into the future, also known as Halo 3."

Andy: "Ah shut up."

Back to the story………

Church: "Well it's not like the author got bored of your purpose here and decided he will do something to kill you off."

Meanwhile….again….a little bit away.

Random Grunt 264: "Wow I'm bored. Maybe I should just shoot my needler randomly into the air so that if a tank that is at one shot away from blowing up comes anywhere near me carrying an idiot, a jerk, and a mercenary, I will kill three humans."

Random Grunt 123: "Wow that was surprisingly elaborate, as if some being in a higher plane of existence wanted to make a joke out of that."

Random Grunt 264 fired all of his needles into the air.

Tucker: "Church, why is the sky pink?"

Church: "Oh crap, GET OFF THE TANK!"

Tucker and Church jumped off the tank.

(-insert large explosion here-)

Church: "……is he dead?"

Church looked up to see that Wyoming had used something called common sense, to shoot down the pink needles with his large cannon.

Church: "oh….that works I guess."

Wyoming aimed his cannon at Church.

Tex: "Don't make me kill you."

Wyoming: "If you shoot me, I shoot him."

Tex: "Go ahead, I don't care."

Church: "The sad thing is she probably isn't kidding."

Church looked at his sniper rifle carefully.

Church: "When I try to hit something, I miss…so maybe….If I aim away from the tank…."

Church aimed his rifle at the sky and fired.

The sniper bullet hit Tex, who fell off the ghost.

Tex: "WHAT PART ABOUT, NEVER TOUCH THAT RIFLE AGAIN, DO YOU FAIL TO UNDERSTAND!"

Church: "Maybe If I aim at tex…"

Meanwhile….

Random Grunt 264: "Wow, what a pretty explosion."

Random Grunt 123: "I know, but what caused it?"

Just then a sniper bullet killed random grunt 264.

Church: "Maybe if I aim at Tucker."

Random Grunt 123: "OH MY GOD! MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD IS DEAD!"

Then a sniper bullet killed Random Grunt 123.

Church: "Wow, I wonder what those last two bullets hit. Oh well, only one shot, and only one other person to aim at."

Church pointed the rifle at his head, which is rather hard considering the length of the rifle and where the trigger is, and fired.

At that point, something unbelievable happened, that would forever change the way we think of Red vs Blue.

Church hit his Target.

Not the tank, mind you. He succeeded in shooting his own head.

At this time, I would like to remind you of a quote in So you love Caboose, What is wrong with you!

Sheila: "Church you may want to consider switching weapons. My data banks say that you have a 99.9 chance of messing up the mission."

Church: "Well at least I have SOME chance of hitting someone with this."

Sheila: "The last .1 is that your aim will be so bad it somehow disrupts the fabric of space and time, thus killing all of us."

You guessed it.

Meanwhile….

O'Malley: "Now to end your miserable life, you worthless fanatic!"

Suddenly, everything started Shaking.

O'Malley: "What's going on?"

Purple Fanatic: "Now's my chance to get away. Fare well my people. I shall return to liberate you one day."

Purple fanatic ran way as O'Malley desperately reached for his DS.

O'Malley: "A powerful force is disrupting the space time continuum. I must use all of my energy to advert this incident…."

Griff: "That sounds like a lot of work. Do we have to?"

O'Malley: "Must…fix…this….mess……."

Fortunately, O'Malley was evil enough to use the DS to change time and space itself, so Church, instead of shooting himself in the head, shot himself in the kneecap, which in retrospect is probably much more painful.

Church: "OH MY GOD MY LEG! OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!"

Tex: "Ah scew this."

Tex threw a grenade at Wyoming.

Wyoming: "Why didn't you just do that earlier?"

Tex: "Beats me."

The tank blew up in large, pretty flames. Did I mention the flames were pretty?

Tucker: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHEILAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Church: "TUCKER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOUR ACTING LIKE CABOOSE!"

Tex: "That should have killed him, but I don't see a corpse….how odd."

Wyoming: "It looks like Tex didn't know about the tanks ejector seat."

Tex looked up to see what like a parachute.

Tex: "Hey, a large bed sheet floating up in the air for good target practice."

Tex pulled out her magnum and shot through the "bed sheet" leaving any unfortunate people, using the "bed sheet" such as Wyoming, to fall a long, painful fall.

Tex: "Well that was an odd series of events. Come on we can make it to the base on foot at this point."

Church: "Does that mean I can drive the ghost?"

Tex: "Of course not."

Church: "But my leg is bleeding. I can't run."

Tucker: "How about a piggy back ride?"

Church: "I suppose that could work."

Tucker: "YAIIIIIIIIII"

Tucker jumped on Church's back, who fell over as soon as the extra weight was added.

Tucker: "Your not very good at this Church."

Church: "I'm the one who' suppose to go on your back."

Tucker: "The best way to do this would be to take turns. ME FIRST!"

Church: "I hate you and I wish you were dead. AND WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CABOOSE ALL OF A SUDDEN!"

Tucker: "I don't know. Maybe I hit my head too hard when I jumped off the tank."

Back at wherever the hell O'Malley was…….

O'Malley: "Damn that nuisance got away from me. No matter. I got what I needed."

Griff: "The Oreos?"

O'Malley: "No not the Oreos." O'Malley smiled evilly.

Griff: "Then what?"

O'Malley: "ARMY! LET US MOVE ON TO BLOOD GULCH! THERE IS MUCH WORK TO DO!"

The religious fanatics all saluted O'Malley and music sounding suspiciously like the music that Star Wars uses when a $#!7 load of Clone troopers are standing in like starts to play.

Griff: "I still don't get it. Why did we come here?"

O'Malley: "There is something HORRIBLY WRONG WITH YOU!"

While back at Red base, Sarge Simmons, and Donut were killing off flood while defending the roof of their precious red base.

Sarge was killing flood with his Shotgun.

Simmons was shooting flood with his SMG's.

Donut……was having some difficulty.

Donut: "I don't get it. Our human weapons kill them easily, but here I am using TWO covenant weapons. And they haven't done a thing."

Donut had been shooting a single flood (not flood zombie, flood) for about two hours with twin plasma rifles.

Sarge: "Ah screw it this is taking too long."

Sarge ran over and shot the flood.

Donut: "ZOMG! HOW COULD YOU! KILL STEAL KILL STEAL!"

Sarge: "Donut that is completely out of character! Say something more like yourself."

Donut: "Can I shave your back?"

Sarge: "Never mind then, don't act like yourself."

Suddenly, the RvB characters realized that the author used the word Suddenly way too much….and then right after that a covenant ship suddenly warped above blood gulch.

Then ANOTHER covenant ship suddenly warped above blood gulch.

Ghosts, Wraiths, and ground troops started coming out of, pretty much no where.

Sarge: "Once again, the author has turned blood gulch into a battle field to set up the scene of the next chapter, where there is sure to be a bloody and pointless battle. BLESS HIS SOUL!"

At the top of Blood Gulch, O'Malley gathered his fanatics.

Fanatic: "How did we get up here?"

O'Malley: "I don't know maybe it's a mod."

Noob Fanatic: "HEY HOW DID YOU GUYS GET UP THERE!"

A single Fanatic stood in the middle of blood gulch.

Noob Fanatic: "OMG YOU GUYS HAX! YOU NOOBS! YOU FUCKING NOOBS! GET A LIFE YOU NOOBS! YA FUCKING NERDS! YA-,"

Since NO BODY likes people who keep cursing and blathering on like that on ANY multiplayer game, Mangor took the liberty to hack the fanatics head off.

(A/N: Penguin God and I agree, that there are WAY too many people like that)

Mangor: "Darlmon, I have made it to blood gulch. I am leading the ground forces against the flood, the demons, and the brutes. I just killed a minor demon to. ISN'T THAT AWESOME!"

Darlmon: "Indeed. Beware, the brute's leader is probably somewhere in the battle."

Mangor: "For some reason, I think I will have a fierce battle with a worthy opponent. A good chance to see what this plot device I stole does."

In blue base

Marine 2: "….Someone is here of great importance."

Doc: "Huh?"

Marine 2: "You must stay here and defend this base. Don't use the cell phone plot device until the time is right!"

Doc: "Huh?"

Marine 2: "No. Don't try to stop me. This is something I must do on my own."

Doc: "I'm not trying to stop you…"

Marine 2: "PLEASE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND! I HAVE TO DO THIS! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!"

Marine 2 ran out of the base, leaving Doc, very, very, very, confused.

Mangor ran at a brute, and cut ran his sword through the tough muscle and flesh. Notice, how I didn't even bother saying bone or fat BECAUSE BRUTES ARE MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF MUSCLE AND FLESH!

Brute: "Its Batosai the man slayer!"

Mangor: "No I'm Mangor the heretic slayer."

Brute: "The ancient unarmored Samurai."

Mangor: "I'm wearing armor, it's black."

Brute: "Master of the heitan mitsurugi style. WE CAN'T BEAT THE BATOSAI!"

Mangor: "I told you my name is Mangor!"

Brute: "Your name is KENSHIN!"

Mangor: "I thought you said it was Batosai."

Brute: "YOU DON'T WATCH RORONIN KENSHIN!"

Mangor: "Um…I guess not."

Brute: "YOU SHALL DIE!"

Mangor killed the brute with a flick of his sword.

Mangor: "That was odd."

Mangor looked up to see a marine.

Marine 2: "You are the one…."

Mangor: "For some reason, I think that you will be a worthy adversary."

O'Malley: "Excellent, a cliff hanger!"

Next time on Red vs Blue

Purple Fanatic seeks help from a past friend,

Darlmon comes face to face with the Brute's leader.

Mangor and Marine 2, have a fight that rips off many animes (mainly Naruto) with and end you WON'T BELIEVE!

Marine 2: "Mangor, I am your father."

Actually that has nothing to do with next chapter, nor is it true. But if you want to find out what really happens, then look for this fan fiction TOMOROW! Yes that's right TOMOROW! And I mean it.