Here's chapter 8! Yah!
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gundam Seed, are you surpised? Neither do I own any other materials I might of used.
Cagalli
I can explain
I think I can
At least,
If I remember how to speak
My tounge is twisted
My tounge is tied
Can you understand me?
Tassil was acting up again. It had been rebelling alot for a while now. Actually, they had become so troublesome that the man in charge of keeping them under control, the poumpus General What's-his-name, had come to the encampment to ask for help. Athrun, Nicol, Dearka and Yzak, along with a handful of soldiers, had gone to his aide. At the moment the four of them, along with General thingy and his two hands, Rusty and Miguel, they were planning thier attack strategy. The plan was to take them by surprise and completly devastate them.
« It's gonna be trickey, » said Miguel, « the've really been on thier toes for the last little while, so we're gonna have to be extremly cautios when we approach. » Athrun suddenly felt curious.
« Well, I guess that means we'll have to be practicly invisble if we wanna get close, » said Dearka.
« You're coming on this mission too Elfman, » said Yzak sarcasticly.
« Oh yeah, well-
« Guys cut it out, » said Nicol, sending an apologetic look to the other team.
The meeting ended and everyone began to prepare for what they were reffering too as 'the final battle of Tassil'. Athrun had been conversing with Rusty and Miguel for some time along with the three others.
« So exactly how long has it been since Tassil became such a problem? » asked Nicol suddenly.
« Not that long, » said Rusty « 'bout a month and a half. »
« What? » asked Athrun with little more panic comming out of his voice then he would've liked.
« You ok there budy? » asked Miguel jokingly, « you look like you've seen a ghost. »
« Don't worry about him, » said Dearka, « he's just a bit upset because that's how long it's been since he's seen his darling princess. »
« You mean Lady Lacus? » questioned Rusty?
« Nope, I'm talking about Attha's daughter! » excalimed Dearka.
« You mean the hostage who got away? » asked Miguel. Athrun looked away, while the three others nodded. « Why's she bugging ya? You in love with her or something? »
« No! » excailmed Athrun blushing, « but there's no such thing as a coincidence either. Tassil became an issue a month and half ago, the princess got away auround the same time, and I haven't heared anything about her reunion with her daddy dearest. »
« Are you suggesting she's been giving them a hand and that's what's been causing all this trouble? » inquired Rusty, « you have got to be joking! She's just a girl after all! »
« She should've been born a boy, » mumbled Athrun.
Cagalli stood in the ranks next to Ahfmed. And for a seccond, she felt proud. Proud because here she was the princess of Orb, waiting to fight the enemy, and everyone knew it. If only things were always so simple.
« Let's go win our Freedom! » cried Sahib. The Desert Dawn cheered, Cagalli too.
The battle had begun and now two rebelious powers clashed against each other furiously. Blood was everywhere, the sound of screaming was endless, it was war. Toghther, Cagalli and Ahfmed had done well and protected each other. But now, they were seperated and Cagalli was trying desperatly to find him again.
« AGRH! »
Cagalli's heart began beating faster as she reconized the scream. She felt a rush of adrenaline, intensity began rising inside of her.
« AHFMED! » she cried. She watched as his boyish figure fell to the ground. She ran to him, the battle was no longer important, her friend was in trouble. Suddenly, the battle was no longer there, the two of them were in thier own private cocoon and no one could open it.
« Cagalli… » he said, turning his eyes to her, she held him in her arms, « could this be anymore romantic? » he asked, trying to be funny. It didn't suit him.
« Ahfmed…don't kid auround, you're hurt, we need to get you out of here! » said the princess in tears.
« It's too late for me now….go save yourself…. » mumbled the wounded boy.
« Don't do that, don't act like a hero, it always leads to bad things… » said Cagalli through her tears.
« I'm not…your a princess, we contrymen must protect you… » he rambled.
« Stop it! » she cried, « STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! » It was almost as if she were talking to someone else.
« Cagalli…you need to live…I want you to live… »
« STOP IT! »
« Do you know what it's like to be in love? » said Ahfmed with a newfound strength. « Do you remember what I told you? About that wonderful girl I love, remember how I told you she was beautiful? Well you know what? She has a beautiful name to go with her face it's…urgh…Cagalli… » then he died.
« Damnit! Damn you men! » cried Cagalli, « what is it with your thirst to kill? When you kill a guy you get killed for killing him and then your friend kills that guy for killing you and the cycle never ends! Do you even care about peace? Do you even care about the sweethearts you leave behind? »
Suddenly someone came for her, fast. She felt a surge of pain on her left shoulder. Thier private cocoon was broken. Before she knew it, she was up and battaling blindly. Moving further and further, deeper and deeper into the crowd of soldiers, knocking down everyone that got in her way. Kill or be killed, she told herself over and over, kill or be killed. She continued battaling ferousily, she fought with the strength of any legendary hero, she wouldn't stop. She couldn't stop. The desire to fight was to intense. No, not the desire the need. She needed to fight. If she didn't fight she would die. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed.
Her next opponent was a tough one, he was obviously a higher-ranked soldier and had much more skill then all the other men she had fought. Kill or be killed.
« ARGH! » she cried as his sword pierced her already wounded shoulder. He wouldn't get away with that! « DIE! » she screamed. She aimed her sword at his heart.
But before she knew it, her sword was gone, out of her hands, lost in the chaos. Acting only on instinct, she jumped onto her opponent her small hands trying to reach his neck. When she couldn't do that, she tried punching him, kicking him, anything. Kill or be killed.
« Cagalli? » said the person softly, « is that really you? »
But Cagalli paid no notice, she just kept on throwing her blows at him. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed. KILL OR BE KILLED!
« Cagalli… » said the voice again, « Cagalli… »
« Kill or be killed! » she yelled, « KILL OR BE KILLED! »
Something clicked in Athrun's mind. He remembered a feeling of intensity. He remembered fear. Fear of the feeling. He remembered other things too : Need, anger sadness, subission. He remebered all of that, but what stood out the most was the intensity. The overwhelming, all-powerful intensity. And hatred, there had been lots of hatred. Athrun, there is such a thing as hatred, it can do terrible things, just look at what it did to your father…but even something as powerful as hatred can be countered. It can be countered with something much more powerful. Athrun, hatred can be stopped by love. Remeber that. Of the few words his mother had ever said to him, those were the ones he remebered her by. Over the past couple of years he had forgotten them and even forgotton his mothers face. But now he heared those wise words clearly, and he saw Leonore's delicate face perfectly. Athrun knew what he had to do.
« DIE! » cried Cagalli, but Athrun ignored her. Instead he slowley put his arms auround her and locked her into a tight embrace. A new cocoon had formed auround the princess, it envelopped her and Athrun. It secluded them. It protected them. « don't kill me… » murmured Cagalli. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, « kill or be killed…no don't kill…live…don't kill…Ahfmed…stupid hero…Athrun…don't kill. »
« It's ok, it's over now, you are yourself again, » said Athrun, « I least I hope so… » he whispered the last part, he wished she wouldn't hear. He held her closer to him, he felt her tears land upon his chest, he felt her trembelling, he felt her fear.
« A monster took over me, it told me that I had to kill, that if I didn't it would kill me… fighting is the true battle…I didn't want to die…kill or be killed. »
Cagalli was sobbing now, close to wailing, Athrun patted her back sympatheticly.
« A monster took over me once too, you know, and it made me do things I didn't want to do. I killed innocent people, I killed people I once knew, heck, I even killed myself because of the monster. » said Athrun, « That thing, it's evil, it's worse then any other monster I've heared of, and it lives inside of me, it lives inside of you, it's lives inside of all of the damned, all of us who sin just a tad more than we should, all of us who are just a little more human than the gods would like. So they curse us with this monster, they curse us by planting a SEED inside our heads, one that will grow into a plant of destruction, take us over, and punish us, punish us for being normal! » Athrun paused. Cagalli's tears had dried up, she was now listenning to him patiently. To his surprise she had returned the embrace. He smiled a small, broken, confused, honest smile. « But I won't let that monster take over you, or hurt you, or kill you, I definetly won't let him kill you. » They held each other for a very long time. The cocoon around them was broken at the sound of a few boorish voices.
« Cagalli what are you doing? » cried Kisaka. Immeadiatly the two broke apart. « What are you doing with him? » he demanded outraged.The battle had ended, The Desert Dawn had won.
« Uuuhh… » was all the princess could say, she wasn't sure what had just happened and certainly not how to explain it.
« Damn, and I thought I could get away, » muttered Athrun.
« What was that? » asked Sahib.
Athrun put his hands up in the air.
« This Little Princess here captured me, » he said cynicly, « I was trying to get away, but then you idiots came along, » he spat with as much vennom as he could muster. Kisaka and Sahib exchanged suspicios looks.
« Is that true princess? » asked Kisaka.
Cagalli wasn't to sure what to do, she fidgeted silently for a moment and then, without realising it, she nodded.
« Very well then, » said Sahib, « follow me. » Athrun did as he was told. « We'll tie him up like we did the other one, » he said to the men. Other one? Athrun asked himself.
Once they were gone, the bodyguard approached his protege. He put both his hand on her shoulders protectivly.
« Are you allright? » he asked.
« Yes? »
Suddenly Kisaka noticed her wound.
« We'd better get that cleaned up, » he said, « unless you to bleed to death and me to lose my job. »
The same small, confused smile that Athrun had smiled earlier appeared on her lips.
Fllay entered Kira's room quietly.
« Are you ready? » she asked seductivly.
« Yeah, » said Kira, though he didn't really mean it. He looked at Fllay, her bright red hair, her perfect face, her sparkling grey eyes, normally, just taking this in was ennough for him to go completly ballistic with lust. Tonight though, it didn't. Kira's mind was elsewhere, thinking about someone else. A sweet song filled his head, one Fllay didn't know. One he hadn't heared in a very long time. It had been so long actually, that he could only remember small bits of it.
Beautiful Day
Shinned when I needed that most
Shine on the churchyard
Tin cans full of goldThen all he could hear was the melody, it was if the instruments played to loudly for him to hear the lyrics, as if he could almost reach them, but not quite.
Beautiful girl smiles
When I need it the most
Smile on my heavy
eyelids again
Kira smiled once he heared those few lines being processed through his brain, (A/n : not very poetic, I know!). They reminded him of how he loved some people, of how wonderful it was to love them, but how wonderful it was aswell.
But now the words were gone and all he could hear was the melody. So he foccused on something else. He tried to picture the person singing, tried to see if he could remeber her face.
Fall apart together.
The last line of the song. Kira smiled as the image of a pink-haired girl entered his mind. Her captivating blue eyes staring right into his. Her lips moved, but no sound came out, or perhaps, Kira just couldn't hear it.
Fall apart together.
The last line of the song replayed in his head.
« Lacus… » he mumbled.
Ever since the batlle, Cagalli had been quiet, too quiet, at least for her. Over the past month and a half, the people of Tassil had become used to her rash and tempermental personality. Quiet didn't rhyme with any of those words. Most people believed that she was simply mourinig Ahfmed's death, after all, they didn't know any better. But for the few people who did, seeing Cagalli is this state was, well, to put it simply : scary. Good thing the prince isn't here,thought Kisaka. He had tried talking to her about it, put the stuborn princess would not say a word. So instead, he had sent her off to check on the prisonners. The bodyguard shook his head, as much as he, like the rest of Uzumi's court despised Athrun Zala, he knew that he was the only one close who would be able to return the princess to her spirits. He also knew that the story they had been told earlier was a lie. If you want anything close to forgivness Zala, you'd better do this right.
It took Cagalli a long time to approach, let alone enter, the residence where the two ZAFT prisonners were being held. She knew one as Athrun Zala, an ennemy commnader and traitor, but also the man who had promised to protect her from the SEED monster, whatever that was. The other one, she could only hope, was the kind green-haired spirit.
« Well,well,well, lookey here! » said a voice, « isn't this fine company? »
Damnit. The pervert, thought Cagalli. She took a good look auround the place. It was a simple house that had been trnasformed into an emergency holding cell because of the current situation. Dearka was tied unto a pole that streched from both sides of the closet walls, both his hands above his head. That was when she realized something, or truly, someone, was missing.
« And where would Zala be? » she asked, trying not to show any emmotion.
« You mean your secret lover? » asked the blonde boy sarcasticly. Cagalli glared at him. « He's in the next room, they didn't really want us to close, in case we might escape, ya know? Not that we really get along well ennough to help each other escape… » he trailed off.
« Oh, um…thank you, » said the princess quietly, for once in her life playing her role perfectly.
« Well it's really no biggie, » said Dearka playfully, « I mean, when you two finaly admit your feelings for each other, there's going to be so much drama…god, I can't wait to see it… »
« What the hell are you talking about? » spat the enraged girl.
« I saw you two last time…man it was such a long time ago…but I can still remember it clearly. You jumping on top of Athrun and kissing him with more passion than I have seen…man, now that was memorable…no wonder Zala always calls out for you in his sleep, I mean, if a girl were to kiss like that, well, let's just ther'ed be no comming back… »
« Wait, so you mean you were there that night? » questionned Cagalli.
« Yup, » replied the ZAFT soldier not-so-smartly.
« If you were there, if you saw all that, then that means… »
« Means what? I'm waiting…. »
« You were the one who took him away! You were the one who brought him to ZAFT! »
« En-hunh, me and Yzak. »
« Do you know what you did? Do you know how many innocent people died because o what you did? Do you know of the hell you put my brother through? Do you know what it did to me? » she screamed, she blushed as she realized the last few words she had let out.
« No, not really… » started Dearka, completly oblivous to the fact that Cagalli was ready to kill him, literaly. « But you know, I was only following orders. As a spoiled, free-spirited princess, I accept that you don't understand the concept the way I do. After all, I superiors orders. Why? Because if I didn't I would lose my job and dignity. You're a princess, your life is complicated, you must reflect on how you'll act and what you'll say so as not to offend the wrong people or ruin your reputation. Your whole life is based on doing whatever pleases the people, and that's not an easy thing to do, is it? I mean, one person wants this and the other wants that, it's gets complicated after awhile, dosn't it? But me, I'm just a soldier. I have simple life, I do simple things. As for me, all I have do to is follow orders, I never have to think about how my actions will affect others, and to be honset, I prefer not to. So if I hurt you and your brother, well I'm sorry, but I was just following orders. And if innocent people died because of what I did, well, that's one of the atrocites of war, isn't it? »
Cagalli was speachless.
« Aww, you've calmed down already? What a shame you're so cute when you're mad… » he said playfully.
« WHY YOU! » cried the tomboy.
After punishing him for his comment, Cagalli left to find Athrun.
« Hey, at least we didn't tourture you! » yelled Dearka, she ignored him. Slowly, she entered the next room. Athrun was there.
« Hey… » she said meekly.
« Hunh? » he said, he looked up and spotted her, « oh hey… »
The atmosphere auround them felt stiff and uncompftorble. The day's complicated events were still very present in thier minds.
« So, what was all that about? » questioned the blue-haired boy, hoping to change the subject, « you sounded as if you were ready to kill Dearka, » he hoped that would lighten up the air.
« I was, » said Cagalli, « after what he said, I was ready to kill and never have any regrets. »
« But you didn't. »
Cagalli shook her head.
« May I ask what words he spoke to disturb you so? »
« He told me…he told me that he was the one who took you away, him and Yzak, they took you away from Orb, from Kira, from… » she trailed off, her voice muffled by tears.
« So? » asked Athrun, « what's the big deal? »
« You don't get it, do you Athrun? » whispered Cagalli, « all my life, I've been the misbit princess of Orb. Cagalli Yulla Attha, the girl who should of been born a boy. Almost everyone I've met has either found me too weired or too intimidating for me to get close to them. Even Lacus was a bit unnereved by my boyish personality at first. Very few people have accepted, let alone loved me for who I am. I always thought I would grow up to be a lonely old man-hating spinster. And you know what? even if I didn't show it, the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, it scared me. Actually, I hated the idea. I tried to ignore it, I became rebelious, I scheemed and plotted against those who annoyed me, I fought in this wretched war, I'd do anything to forget about the awful fate that awaited me. »
Athrun stared at her, his glance was sympathetic, but also confused.
« Pretty stupid of me, hunh? » continued Cagalli, still whispering. « Then one day, you come along, what with your blue hair and green eyes and Mr. Nice guy personality, God, I hated you. » She paused and watch as a tiny nostalgic smile made it's way onto Athrun's face. « Eventually, I got over my childish fase of hating your absoulute perfectness, and that feeling of dislike turned into a new feeling, friendship. Over the years, I grew more attached to you, by the time the war broke out, you were like a seccond brother to me. And so, for three long and memorable years we fought together without really knowing what we were fighting for. Over that time, that feeling of transformed hatred, of friendship, becam something else : love. Yes Zala, I was crazy about you, but I didn't say anything, after all who could love a crazed gender confused princess like me? I began trying to spend more and more within the ranks and less and less near anything that reminded me of well, me. But you can never escape yourself… And then all of a sudden, you come along and kiss me, my first kiss. I couldn't beleive it, my most and secret and wild fantasies wer coming true! And then there was that night at the ball…oh we had such a wonderful time! » Cagalli's mood suddenly darkened, « But then you disapeared and the dream became a nightmare. I was abandonned, all I could do was worry and try to forget. Rumors came from ZAFT about a certain prodigy, Zala, they called him, I tried to ignore it. And finaly, three years after your disaperance, you return fighting for ZAFT. » She paused her speech for a minute, her back was turned, but Athrun knew that tears were rolling down her face. « Despite being rather secluded, I had never lost anything major, but, after that day, I lost you. No, I was betrayed by you. And yet, none of that would've happened if your two friends had just stayed home and watched the world go by instead. »
« Why didn't you take him out then? » asked Athrun.
« He said, he told me things…. »
« What kind of things? »
« He said that all he did was obey orders, that he was never given the chance to ask himself how his actions would affect others. He's a soldier after all, even if he is perverted. »
Athrun smiled at her words, Dearka could be a perverted pig, but he also had different side to him, a quieter, more philosophical side. He hardly showed it, but when he did, the people who had had a chance to hear what he had to say were always speachless.
They stayed silent for a very long time.
« Thank you, » mumbled the princess suddenly, « for earlier and all that… »
« Your welcome, » answered Athrun, « and know that my promise was not an empty one… » he added quietly so that Cagalli would not overhear.
« Hunh? » she asked. Athrun stared at her for a moment, her tears had dried up, but still stained her checks. She looked very much like the captive princess who had been held hostage at thier emcampment not so long ago. Ah, the good old days.
« Athrun, what happened between you and my brother two years ago, at Josh-A? »
An akward silence lingered in the air.
« The monster took over me, he took over me for the very first time, I hardly remember any of it, but what I do remember is unpleasant. »
« Continue… » said the tomboy bravly.
« When I think back to it, I see blood, murdered men, fear, anger, sadness, death… » he trailed off. « I also remember Kira crying, crying because I had become a monster, but he had it all wrong, a monster had become me. »
« Isn't that the same thing? »
« I'm not sure…Tell me Cagalli, » he said, « do you still… do you still…love me? »
Cagalli glanced at him, thier eyes locked. Athrun couldn't read anything in her amber eyes.
« Yesterday, I would've said no and most likely thrown a fit, » she started, « but today, right now, I don't know… »
The next day, the ZAFT forces came to deal with The Desert Dawn. Finaly, after hours of debating, Athrun and Dearka were ransommed back for the freedom of the villiage. From the shadows, Cagalli watched as they left. Athrun was well aware of this, but did not mention it. Both of them observed each other for some time. Athrun left, but not before spoting the small pendant auround her neck. The gem that started all the trouble, he thought.
Meanwhile, Kisaka carefully approached his princess.
« Are you allright? » he asked protectivly.
« I want to go home… » she mumbled.
Athrun
Your face is stuck in my head
It annoys me
But it pleases me too.
I think I'm stating to
Understand you, I think I am
Now if only I could
Understand myself.
Ok thats the end of that, review please!