Chapter 10

Finals!

School is over. I am free. The world is a happy flower……………..yah I COULD rant about my math teacher's incompetence right now, or how much I hate Bush. Or why the Earth is Banana shaped………but instead I am going to talk about penguins…..they are fluffy. NOW BACK TO THE FIC

Shadow Gravemind: I'm continuing, I'm continuing

Isaac Malott: I like author awareness jokes. They are funny, but I know it can get annoying if someone uses them too much……like the way I use them all the time! XD….yah I will try to avoid using that TOO much. Anyways, I am shocked. I bet ten million dollars against O'Malley that you would say I AM EVILIER in your review….I lost ten million dollars….that I don't have….now I'm indebted to a fictional character. That's kind of sad.

Keeper of Truth: I have my own ideas for the magical DS…..MWUAHHA HA…ha..ha….I was NOT just laughing evilly…..understand? Good. You know you should stop banging your head against the key board now….you see that red stuff…that means that you should go to the hospital…or at least stop banging you head…..or quickly write your will and leave everything to me XD.

Val of clan Valkyre: Actually Val, it's more like….1.7 seconds….but that's better than being all powerful for zero seconds I suppose. It's a good thing you know how to summon a group of sugar hi grunts. I've been doing the stupid thing and buying them on E-bay for 2 cents a grunt…..that is COMPLETELY overpriced.

Mister Frodo: Being the last to go is a GOOD thing. It means you get to stay in the fic for about……3.5 seconds after everyone else leaves. And I don't really think Avatar counts as anime…sort of sub anime….American anime……stupid infidels and their inferior animation technology and their absurd dubs!...did I say that out loud? Meh doesn't matter. It will all change when I Take over the world.

Final Fantasy Mech Eater: Well the thing about hyper active grunts, are that they are still grunts. And if you throw a pebble at them….they will die. If you give them a hug, they will explode. If they look at a puppy, they will spontaneously combust with ph34R……but I guess that's why everyone likes them. Of course three cups of espresso per grunt would be rather expensive. One spoonful of sugar should work just as well.

Cpt.ShaneSchofield: fire goooooooooddd……don't worry I'm not a pyro. I'M AN ARCINEST!

Drew829: Yes, everyone should embrace summer, and Cabooses bad memory. If we were all like Caboose, Imagine how better the world would be……(insert image of large explosions and completely destroyed cities)…….what a beautiful world. It's economy is MUCH better than our current one and the lack of social standards makes it a paradise….with death and destruction everywhere.

Clark Cradic: Giant…scorpion…tank…human…thingy…………. I for some reason find that absolutely terrifying…..anyways……………………………………………… Defining overkill is fun. Especially with explosives, fire, explosions, rockets, fire, fire, fire, fire, FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE…………………………….I think I went a bit insane there.

Don113: Right……the thing about short reviews is that they are hard to respond to. So, with a lack of a real response……………….yah that's all I can really say except, IT IS SUMMER! YAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Winter? Why would you want to celebrate winter? (clueless look)

Church: "Hi my name is Church, from the popular online series known as Red vs Blue.

Simmons: "And my name is Simmons, I am also from Red vs Blue."

Church: "And we are here to talk to you about finals."

Simmons: "Finals are an important part of the educational system."

Church: "Which means, that its another event where you have to study your ass off, so that you can get into a good college, and get a good job, so you can boss people around and not land in a stupid army, with an annoying blue guy asking you stupid questions THAT DON'T HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING! AND CALLING YOUR GIRLFRIEND A SLUT! KILLING YOU! AND….."

Simmons: "What Church is trying to say, is that even though it's the end of the year, finals are really important."

Griff suddenly walks in.

Griff: "No they're not. I never study for finals and it never did anything bad to me."

Simmons: "That's because you NEVER study, so there were no good grades for them to damage. You're too lazy. In fact there's a chance that your IQ could be an entire 2 digits, but you will never find out if you don't work."

Church: "Right, back to the point. The thing about finals is that, if you paid attention in class, you should only have to spend a couple of hours reviewing the material for each class."

Simmons: "To make this point clear, we have prepared 2 examples."

Donut and Sarge walk up.

Simmons: "Ok, start."

Donut and Sarge sat down and stared blankly ahead at Tucker.

Tucker: "Now class…we are going to learn about………something….."

Church: "TUCKER! Stick to the script."

Tucker: "Right, anyways...in order to do this math problem….aw come on Church I HATE MATH! Algebra is impossible."

Church: "TUCKER! First of all stick to the script. Second of all…its Algebra. It's easy."

Tucker: "Whatever. Now class….X plus 2 equals 4….so logically X must equal 2……Church are you sure you did this right?"

Donut was diligently writing notes down while Sarge was drawing a picture of Griff being stabbed to death.

Church: "Now skip to two months later."

Donut: "Well the finals are coming up. Time to review….X plus 2 equals 4. what is X….I remember when we did this in class! I remember that day specifically because the person next to me was wearing a hot leather biker outfit!"

Simmons: "Donut. It was a two person class. The only person asides from you there was Sarge."

Donut: "So Sarge was wearing a hot leather biker outfit?"

Church: "NO! Just….ok skip to Sarge."

Sarge: "X plus 2 equals 4…so X must be….AW DMAN IT! I have to review a years worth of material in 36 hours! How can I do this? What could X POSSIBLY MEAN!"

(A/N: I sort of stole that from the Colbert Report….DISCLAIMER! I don't own the Colbert Report OR the Daily show)

Church: "So if you paid attention in class, you should be all right."

Sarge: "What about raw talent?"

Church: "Talent?"

Sarge: "In the Spartan academy I was always top of my class in weapon wielding, order giving, and art, despite studying. While I had a lot of difficulty in my strategy and respecting your subordinates classes."

Church: "Art?"

Sarge: "Modern art."

Church: "Oh never mind then. I thought you had some talent there for a second."

Donut: "BURN!"

Caboose: "I can draw…."

Church: "Oh really? Can you draw a smiley face."

Caboose: "One time I drew a picture of my teacher, and she gave me an A…and told me to get away and to put the gun down…I still have the picture. Do you wanna see?"

Caboose pulled out a picture of a meadow, where the badly drawn flowers and sun had smiley faces…and Caboose was holding the teacher's decapitated head above the maimed body.

Simmons: "When did you draw this?"

Caboose: "First grade."

Simmons and Church took a step back.

Church: "How about you go play over there Caboose."

Caboose: "ok."

Church: "Right…getting back on topic…"

Simmons: "It's true that some people are good in some classes and not so good in others…but not me I am perfect in everything."

Church: "A bit self absorbed there, don't you think?"

Simmons: "Well what about you?"

Church: "I always had trouble in history classes, so all I had to do was set aside more time to study for those."

Simmons: "So all you have to do, is know your strength and weaknesses, and put aside more time for your weak points."

Griff: "Yah Simmons didn't have to study a single second for his Kiss Ass class."

Simmons: "Hey! My A+ in that course doesn't make me any more of a kiss ass. It just means I'm certified to be one."

Griff: "Whatever."

Simmons: "To demonstrate this, watch what happens when I show Griff Latin."

Simmons handed Griff a thick book.

Griff: "Amo..amas..amat…amamus…amatus…amant………amavi….amavi, AH ITS SO CONFUSING!"

Griff ran around in circles screaming like……someone who was running around in circles screaming.

Church: "Cool I need to try that."

Church ran over to Tucker.

Church: "Tucker, this is a copy of Much Ado about Nothing……it has five thousand six hundred and thirty two perverted innuendoes."

Tucker: "WHAT! LET ME SEE!"

Tucker quickly glanced at the book.

Tucker: "What? I don't understand? Where are the perverted jokes?"

Church: "Your looking at them."

Tucker: "But…I don't…understand…what…."

Tucker followed Griff's example and ran around in circles screaming.

Church: "Chances are he has an A in health."

Tucker suddenly stopped running around.

Tucker: "And human anatomy. Especially the ladies anatomy."

Tucker winked suggestively at Tex.

Tex punched Tucker in the face.

Tucker: "WHAT THE HELL! Aren't you suppose to SLAP a guy when he says something perverted?"

Tex: "Why would I do that? Hitting is MUCH better."

Tex Kicked Tucker in the crotch and started beating him with her rifle.

Church: "Right….lets avoid showing the readers the following graphic scene and resume with where we left off…where did we leave off?"

Donut: "On Shake Spear."

Church: "Right…what about him?"

Donut: "I always had trouble understanding his books. But I worked hard and I managed to dumb it down in my mind."

FLASHBACKIFY

Donut: "I think it went something along the lines of…………………"

Benedick: "IT WAS DON JOHN THE BASTARD!"

Don Pedro: "What? my own half brother? Who raged war against me, stands in corners looking evil, and has all of those soliloquies where he calls himself a villain?

Don John: "I AM A VILLAIN! I BITE WHEN I HAVE FANGS! I WOULD DO AS I PLEASED IF I HAD MY FREEDOM! I REALLY WANT TO KILL MY BROTHER!"

Don Pedro: "He would NEVER do such a thing to me."

Benedick: "Yes he would!"

Beatrice: "Shut up."

Benedick: "No YOU shut up."

Beatrice: "Ass."

Benedick: "Bitch."

Don Pedro: "Benedick, Beatrice told me she loved you."

Benedick: "Really? I LOVE YOU TOO BEATRICE!"

Beatrice: "I LOVE YOU TOO BENEDICK!"

Claudio: "YAI! Hero is alive!"

Benedick: "Why do you love her? You never said more than ten words to each other, besides the time you called her a slut."

Claudio: "Yes, but she's rich, and I'm rich. So it is true love."

Antonio: "I am Antonio. And I am also Leanato's brother…except I'm not….YOU WILL NEVER KNOW IF IT IS ME! MWUAHAHHAHAAHAH!"

Donut: "NOW I UNDERSTAND!"

UNFLASHBACKIFY

Church: "……………"

Simmons:"…………"

Church: "In one flash back I think you forever defaced the name of Shake Spear."

Donut: "But…."

Church: "No buts. Just leave."

Donut: "But…"

Church: "GET OUT OF HERE!"

Donut slowly backed away towards red base.

Simmons: "Don't you think you were a little harsh?"

Church: "That never works on Caboose so I've always wanted to see that work on someone."

Simmons: "That's mean….."

Church: "Anyways, the last thing to keep in mind is, teachers, preparations, and staying after."

Simmons: "You may have some teachers who you think are idiots (science) pedophiles (world themes) incompetent (math) nice (Latin) and cool (English). Remember that these teachers don't make the tests. But they DO make the study guides, and tell you what you should study."

Church: "All you have to do is follow the study guide. And if the teacher doesn't really give you any sort of study guide…or do anything to help….then actually your pretty much screwed."

Simmons: "Remember teachers are there to help. Staying after school can be a huge benefit."

Church: "Unless your teacher fits under the pedophile category. In which case, It is a VERY BAD IDEA!"

Simmons: "And also remember to bank time. The exams are on different days, so you should make your schedule to fit those days."

Church: "And that's is."

Simmons: "Yup, use these….four helpful tips and you can ace finals easily."

Sarge: "Finals are already over."

Simmons: "What?"

Sarge: "Well this chapter was posted AFTER most people took their finals."

Church: "THEN WHY DID WE WASTE TIME DOING THIS!"

Sarge: "Because it's funny."

Church: "Whatever. Everyone get back into your places for the final chapter."

Church then realized, that Tex had pretty much killed Tucker, Griff passed out while running around screaming, Donut had run inside the base, and Caboose was at the other side of the canyon playing hide and seek with a rock.

Church: "Aw, screw this."

To answer your question…..yes….this chapter was completely pointless. But it was funny. And funny is good for the soul. Now we just need Karin to mend Tuckers injuries before next chapter….which will be posted in a week or so. Even though I don't have school anymore, I want to space it out from this chapter. Pretty soon I will be spending a month in camp. And I won't start my next story till I come back. Well anyways, keep reading and reviewing.