Chapter 28

Bella POV

It had been years since I attended a funeral, the last time I was only a young child and it was my grandmothers. She had been old and ill for a long time, I remember that much, and it had taken place inside the church she attended her whole life, and I'd sat with Renee in the front row not quite understanding what was happening in my little red dress my grandmother had loved so much.

But now. Now, I was faced with the funeral of a man I knew. And whose death I felt more than a little responsible for.

The Friday after the incident I was once again excused from attending school, and I dressed in my borrowed clothes before making the long drive to La Push with Charlie.

The ride in the cruiser was nearly silent, it had been nearly a week since Charlie had witnessed the attack at Billy's and he still seemed a little shell shocked by the whole event, not that I blamed him. But the silence combined with the white collar for the long sleeved black dress Alice gave me felt suffocating. We shouldn't be on the way to a funeral, I shouldn't be feeling this guilt, and Harry should still be alive.

We arrived at the cemetery for the service just as most of the other attendees did. It wasn't a large service, just family and his closest friends, as Harry would have wanted it.

Charlie had to help me into the long black wool coat I'd borrowed from Rosalie for the occasion, my arm had been broken worse that I thought in the attack and I was still confined to a sling, but the coat hung around my shoulders and let me huddle inside, my good arm wrapped around my chest as if to physically hold myself together and stop the breakdown that threatened.

Leah and Seth sat with their arms around their Mother, Sue reciprocating their embrace, silent and strong she tried to hold her family together. Sitting nearest to them were the rest of their family, including Emily and several people I didn't know. The pastor spoke mostly, told us about what a good man Harry was though no one in attendance needed reminding, and then Billy said some words as well. I felt bad for how little I absorbed, but my mind hadn't stopped racing in days, worrying in so long. My head wasn't silent enough for me to really take in what was happening.

I thought about how wrong this all was. How too many people were dying. About how the overgrown boys standing in the back of the congregation had been brought into this war they didn't know about just months ago. And I never hated Victoria more than I did right now.

The last words were said and Harry was laid to rest. Flowers were placed and the congregation moved.

It was at the Clearwater's little house near the beach where everyone met again. The mood was still sombre but here it was where people began to share stories, to remember Harry, and to remember their love for him. And I felt out of place.

I placed the large dish of food on the table along with the rest of it, I hugged Sue and handed her the flowers Esmé had carefully arranged, I offered my condolences to Seth and Leah, and passed on the words and cards of the Cullen's as they were patrolling Forks, and I felt like and intruder the entire time.

Eventually Jacob found me on the outskirts of the small crowd, looking at the photos hanging on the wall in the little living room.

"Bella, hey." He said quietly as he made has way closer, somehow manoeuvring his large gangly frame through the crowded room.

"Hey Jake." I answered with a small smile. "How're you doing?" I asked.

"As good as a guy can be at a funeral, I guess." He answered with half an attempt to smile. "You?"

"Yeah about the same." I breathed out the smallest suggestion of a laugh.

"I um, just wanted to apologise about the other day, I was a jerk and you didn't deserve that." He said after a moment of silence.

"Thanks." I nodded, "I appreciate it."

"Yeah well I don't think I really understood just how serious you were about the whole soul mate thing but we've all learnt some hard truths this week." He said as he looked across the room to where Sam stood talking Leah. It looked uncomfortable but at least they were being somewhat civil.

"It's not exactly something that's easy to explain." I said in agreement as I looked at my friend from across the room. Was she even my friend anymore? We'd been friends, but then I somewhat neglected to really work on the friendship, and then I wondered if she blamed me for her father's death. It was too much to think about right now.

"Did you want to get out of here? Quil, Embry and I are all heading out soon to take over some of the patrol duties from the Cullen's but I can drop you home if you want?" Jake asked.

"I'd love that actually, you don't think anyone would mind if I headed off so soon?"

"Nah, and they all know you're injured too, you must still be sore as from getting run through by Seth."

"Yeah I won't lie, I'm still black and blue from that." I answered with a sigh. "It's getting better but I'm exhausted from it still a week later."

"Come on, I'll drive you home and then head out on patrol."

"Thanks Jacob, but you don't need to take me all the way home, Jasper can meet us at the border, he said he'd be patrolling around there anyway." I answered, not wanting to put Jacob out and make him drive such a long way just for me.

"Only if you're sure, I don't mind."

"Jacob you have far more important things to be worrying about than just playing taxi for me." I said as I pulled out my phone and sent the text to Jasper asking him to meet me by the border. "All done, Jasper will meet us there." I said, earning a quiet but genuine laugh from Jacob.

I made another round, saying goodbye to the important people, hugging Sue, and telling Charlie I'd see him later before Jacob helped me into my coat once again and we made the short walk back to his house and his car along with Quil and Embry. It was easy and like old times back before any of the pack business got in between us and our friendship. We joked and pretended we hadn't come back from a funeral, we didn't speak about vampires and werewolves and death and destruction.

…

As January gave way to February, the winter snow began to slowly make way for the freezing rains leaving Forks less beautifully white and more mud covered and icy. The bitter cold remained, and while most people remained holed up indoors, I was running with vampires and wolves through all hours of the night.

It felt like there wasn't enough time for me to stay holed up in doors, it was all coming to a head, we could all feel it.

No longer were we existing in an endless cycle of patrols and chasing seemingly random trails, it had become a military operation as our guests joined us. Though if I was honest not a whole lot changed in my life. I was still going to school, masquerading as though I was planning for college, endless pretending. And then I'd go home, either of the houses I called home, to be essentially babysat while my family and friends continued their scheduled patrols. And then when they weren't patrolling, they were training. Nearly every night there were at least a few members out training, often lead by Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte, or some combination of the three of them, and more and more there were members of the pack joining them too. It made sense really, Victoria was causing as much pain for them as for the rest of us, they were here simply because there was a hostile vampire on their lands, and they wanted her finished.

The one person who could be counted on to be out training every night that she wasn't patrolling was Leah. I had barely had a chance to speak with her, it was too awkward to talk while she was in her wolf form and her mind connected to the rest of the pack, and she was never human around me. But I watched her train every night I could, and even to my untrained eyes I could see the improvement in her fighting style. She wasn't someone I'd want to cross that was for sure.

And so I became used to sleeping alone more often than I had become accustomed to and as often as I could, I joined them. We changed venues occasionally, but eventually the clearing I had first seen nearly a year ago as I watched that fateful baseball game, became the host to these training sessions.

It was cold and dirty work, even for me when I was spending most of my time huddled on a picnic blanket under a tree and umbrella in an effort to keep dry, or on the nights it wasn't raining on the small outcropping of rocks with so many layers of clothing on I could barely move.

But it was intriguing to watch. Not only to see how everyone was learning to fight and work together. It was intriguing to see Jasper in this role I had never witnessed him in before. Sure I'd seen him lead situations, and be protective certainly, as well as fight. But it was one thing to have heard his history, to know he had this past life, and a totally different thing to see him embrace this history and train this group of our friends and family; it was no longer the playful fighting I'd seen all of them indulge in over the last year.

After the attack there was almost no sign of Victoria. No sign of her in Forks anyway, there were still the apparently tell-tale signs of a large number of young vampires living in Seattle, but they seemed to be keeping themselves contained for now. But none of us could relax, just in case she tried to surprise us in Forks again.

On a rare sunny Sunday afternoon everyone had once again met at the baseball clearing, and I'd brought along a Spanish assignment that needed urgent attention while everyone else trained. The only people missing were Carlisle, who was working, Rosalie and Emmett, who were patrolling, and Quil, Paul, and Jared who were either patrolling or sleeping. It was one of the biggest practices they'd held and they were playing around with having people defend themselves from large groups attacking them. It was interesting, and had I not been in danger of dropping a grade in Spanish I would have happily left them at my centre of attention. But being human had its downsides, and right now the main downside was high school.

As I tried to remember the conjugations I needed to use for the next section of my assignment a burst of wind sent my papers that weren't weighed down flying towards the forest. And although my arm was no longer in a sling, I was still in a full arm cast and I wasn't exactly in the easiest place to give chase while sitting on rocks several feet above the ground.

Thankfully I saw a small form dart away from where it was stationed at the outskirts of the group and collect my papers before they even hit the mud.

"Thanks Charlotte." I said as she landed on the rock next to me.

"Of course," She answered in her bell like voice as she folded her legs to sit with me. "Oh, you're learning Spanish?" Her eyes were wide and childlike, not unlike Alice's, though the bright red colour still unnerved me greatly and I knew I wasn't the only one who felt like that. None of the wolves were happy about her and Peter's mealtime habits.

"Well I'm trying to anyway. Normally I'd have the boyfriend to help but he's busy off being Major Whitlock." I joked as I took the papers back.

Charlotte just laughed for a moment before answering.

"It still seems strange to hear Jasper being referred to as 'the boyfriend'." She laughed. "And I may not be your first choice but maybe I can help you with some of the Spanish? I'm not needed over there right now."

And though she may not have been my first choice, she certainly was useful when it came to learning Spanish and she was able to help finish my assignment in record time before re-joining everyone else, leaving me free to continue to watch them all train.

I couldn't help how my thoughts wandered as I watched them train for various scenarios. We had no idea just how many vampires they would be up against, other than too many, and they would mostly be newborns, even stronger and potentially more deadly than other vampires. And here I was, unable to help, literally sitting back and watching them as they prepared to risk their lives to protect me. It was wrong and I wanted to help.

Even though it went against all of our plans we'd already made, I began to consider if I could be of use in the coming battle. Obviously not as a human, but would it be advantageous to have a newborn on our side of the fight? Sure I would only be one, but would one extra fighter help tip the balance further in our favour?

It was later in the evening, as Jasper was running me home that I was finally able to ask the question that had been swirling around my head for hours.

"You seem awfully quiet this evening, is everything alright?" He asked. We were alone, the others had long ago run ahead of us, we were taking this time as some time together alone and taking our time.

"I'm fine, I've just been thinking lots today." I answered.

"Well what's on your mind darlin'?"

"What do you think our chances are? When you finally meet up with Victoria." I said.

"Unless she has an army of hundreds, and we would know if she did, I'd say our chances are pretty good. She's underestimating our skills, she doesn't know the experience we have, and she has only ever seen us at our sloppiest." He answered.

"So you aren't too worried?" I asked.

"Only worried about you, you stress too much." He answered, giving my cheek that rested on his shoulder a quick kiss.

"But is there some way we could get any more advantage over her? Is there anything we could do to have an advantage over the newborns? Isn't it more dangerous for you to be fighting against them when they're so much stronger than you all?" I asked, still worried about our chances.

"The thing with newborns is they're strong yes, but they are incredibly predictable and lack any sort of finesse, so it really isn't that bad for us. If they get a hold of us sure, but we won't let that happen." He was so sure of himself, so confident, and I wanted to believe him, but I needed to ask one more question before I could really believe it.

"What I'm trying to say Jasper, though very badly apparently, is would there be any way I could be of use? Would having a newborn on our side help at all?" I finally asked.

Jasper slowed down from the steady run we'd been travelling through the forest at, and finally came to a stop all without saying a word. He gently lowered me off of his back so I was standing and stood in front of me, his hand gently cupping my face. I could finally see the look on his face, his eyebrows were slightly pinched together, and concern was all through his eyes.

"Bella," He said softly, "I would never put you though the pain of a transformation like that to use you as a weapon. You deserve a peaceful start to your new life and I won't let Victoria jeopardise that."

"But if I could help I would do it." I answered, though my voice was quieter, my concern for my family slowly being replaced by an overwhelming feeling of love towards Jasper.

"I know you would, and if I thought things were that desperate I might have considered it, but you can be of help in so many more ways." He said gently, "And besides, I don't think this is going to be much longer before it comes to a head, and I would never send you into a fight without training. In fact I never want to send you into a fight at all."

"I just feel useless." I whispered.

"You've been so independent your whole life, but this time it's time to let us fight this battle for you so we can all move on." Jasper answered before softly kissing me.

I worried still, and I would worry until the day this finished, and then I'd find something else to worry about. But at least now my anxiety was at a more manageable level and my questions had been answered.

I was able to sleep a little better than I had been, though I still missed having Jasper by my side every night, and school was a little more bearable with my mind not running so wild. It still felt like I was simply going through the motions of life and waiting for the grand finale of this chapter in my life, but it was bearable and my routine of school, study, and watch the practice matches continued.

Saturday dawned cold and impossibly foggy, but an opportunity to train was an opportunity taken in our current climate. For once I'd actually woken wrapped up in Jasper's arms, a rare occasion lately, and after some far too brief cuddling for my liking, we were running through the mist to the clearing our family had claimed.

It was eerie today. The air as thick with moisture, and though it wasn't yet raining I knew it would be by this afternoon, but I was dressed and prepared for that. And I knew someone would take me home before the weather was too bad.

I entertained myself listening to music and watching my family and friends, it was another big group training, and they all looked like a well-oiled machine as they trialled different approaches.

I was beginning to get hungry, it must have been nearly lunch time, when everything began to change.

Alice suddenly stopped in the middle of the field, and everyone gradually stopped to watch her. I knew her face would be blank, her eyes and mind far away, and I just knew it was bad.

In the distance, a wolf began to howl.

My stomach dropped ten feet as Alice sunk to her knees in the mud.

"No! No, no, no." She shouted as Jasper grabbed her shoulders and lightly shook her to try and pull her back to the present. We all knew she wasn't shouting at us.

Jasper's head shot up and our dark eyes met.

"She's coming." Was all I heard Alice say before everyone sprang into action.

A.N. Sorry for the long wait, I'm back from my extended European adventure and ready to wrap this up. I hope you enjoyed, and it shouldn't be too long before I'm here with the continuation

Daisy xx