KITG: Okay, this spawned thanks to the sweets I was eating (they are bloody addictive!) and …….. Superherogrlcat's Comic strip (which is also addictive) so hope this makes you laugh. :P
Never Mind the Jally Babies
The TARDIS sat, hidden in the woods of a town in Norfolk; the birds were singing, the sun was shining…a Time Lord was swearing. Rose tried not to smile as she stepped from the open doors of the TARDIS, firmly shutting them behind her. She began walking towards the path that led through the woods. The TARDIS was out of the way of the path, hidden behind some large holy bushes, so she could not be seen. They had landed here earlier in the day, foiling some moss monsters that had wanted to eat all the trees of the earth. Then they had walked around and found the woods ended right next to a main road; across this was a small local supermarket, a Somerfield store. Which had the Doctor going off into one about humans and not spelling things right.
They had found out they were in the city of Norwich, which was when the Doctor realised that he wanted to go see the cathedral. So they had gone around the town after catching a bus, finally returning to the TARDIS around three in the afternoon. That's when the Doctor discovered the TARDIS would not move -- just made a feeble groan. So the Doctor had spent the next two hours trying to fix her.
Rose, now bored, said she was going to the supermarket, before grabbing his wallet (he had found a wallet in town that had caught his attention) and heading off. While she walked she looked inside the wallet, seeing some twenty pound notes, a Boots advantage card -- with the name The Doctor on it (she would have to ask him how he had managed that) -- and a Somerfield staff discount card (oh she so had to know how he had got that one!).
She browsed round, getting milk, some magazines, a book, some fresh salmon and some noodles (as she was cooking tonight), plus some various other ingredients. As she walked past the sweets aisle, she saw a large stack of sweets that proclaimed themselves as new. "Bassets Milky Babies," said the label. Deciding she would give them a try, she grabbed 2 bags and went to pay for her food.
She walked back to the TARDIS, her hands full of the white and green bags. Placing one bag on the floor and retrieving her key from her pocket, she entered the TARDIS just in time to hear another swear word, though the TARDIS translated it as: "Oh Raspberries!"
"Still no joy?" she asked as way of greeting.
"No, can't figure out what's….. Ohhh bags, what's in the bag--"
"If you say fag I am going to slap you and confiscate your Will&Grace DVD's," Rose threatened.
"….Rose, I was going to say 'Rose.'"
"Sure you were," she shouted back down the hallway as she headed to the kitchen.
The Doctor pouted at the console, then crawled back under the mushroom shape. "Come on, old girl. What's up?"
Rose cooked salmon and noodles, covering it in a sweet chili sauce with a few vegetables, then carried the big wok and some bowls to the console room. He was buried under the floor somewhere. In Bob the builder mode. Though with a slight difference. In the case of the question of "Can we fix it?" his reply would be: "Yes we can, if we hit it hard enough while ignoring whatever further damage we are causing!"
She placed the wok on the floor, helping herself to some. There was no point in calling him when he was in that mode, as he wouldn't hear her. So she let his nose clue him in. Sure enough, she could hear the "sniff, sniff" as his nose clocked there was food. His head popped up out of the floor, hair wild, making her giggle as she had the sudden urge to have a mallet and play Whack the Doctor, like those arcade games you often found at the seaside. Either it would be Whack the Gopher or Whack the Crab. One of the two.
He came over, grabbed the spare bowl and heaped a load of noodles into it before devouring them as quickly as he could. They chatted for a while, but she could see he was really worried about the reason why the TARDIS would not move. She cleaned up after he had thanked her, asking her how she had known he fancied some noodles.
Now she was sat on the console room chair as he worked; he would idly say things but she knew he wasn't really talking to her, as he was asking questions about the systems of the TARDIS. He just needed someone to bounce his ideas off of. So she sat reading her comic and munching on one bag of the Milky Babies she had bought. A shadow fell over her as she was reading; she looked up to see the Doctor looking at the packet of sweets.
"What are those? Jelly Babies?"
"Milky Babies," she replied. He dipped his hand in, taking a few and slipping one in his mouth.
"Mm, they're nice." Then he was off fixing the TARDIS again as he talked. "One of me loved Jelly Babies. But I think these are better. Though he had better not hear me say that."
"Other you?"
"Yeah, the fourth me. Curly hair, stupidly long scarf….though it was better than the sixth me -- god, I must have been colour blind!" He smiled as he remembered the Jacket. "But the scarf didn't half keep me warm. Was knitted for me by a very witty knitter, though her name escapes me right now."
He returned to fixing while Rose continued to read, when suddenly there was a loud snap, followed by a blinding white light. And someone was standing on the other side of the console.
"Well that was rather odd. K-9?…K-9? Oh where is that dog?" This man was all curls, long coat…and a huge scarf wrapped round his neck. "Hello? What are you doing in my TARDIS?" the strange man asked of her. He walked towards her slowly, as if he was scared of spooking her. They all jumped as her Doctor got out from under the console, and, not seeing this strange man, walked round…. and tripped over the long scarf that was trailing behind the man.
"Rose! You're leaving your jacket in the console room again--" came the annoyed comment from somewhere on the floor. "--Hold on, that's not a jacket…that's a scarf…oh dear. What are you doing here?"
"Jelly Baby?" the man asked.
"Oh no, don't start with that. Besides, I have something better. So what are you doing here?" her Doctor said again. Rose could only look on, open mouthed, as the conversation with her Doctor earlier came to the fore.
"Better than Jelly Babies? I highly doubt that."
"Doctor?" Rose asked, trying to test a theory.
"Yes?" came the reply from two mouths.
"That's you?" she asked, pointing to the one in the scarf.
"Yeah. That's the fourth me," her Doctor replied. "What are you doing here?"
"I was trying to fix the flow regulator…then I was here," he replied, munching on a Jelly Baby.
"Yeah… I was doing the same thing."
They started talking between themselves, her Doctor idly coming up to nick some more sweets.
"Is that your 'better than Jelly Babies' sweet?" Four asked (Rose had decided to call him Four so she wouldn't go insane).
"Yeah, have one," hers replied.
"Don't need to. Jelly Babies are always better." Four by this time was fiddling with the console.
"You're just scared to be proved wrong. Slating your precious Jelly Babies," hers taunted.
"What's better than Jelly Babies?" All looked over to see a blond person wearing a cricket outfit with a piece of celery in the lapel, to another standing beside him, with long auburn hair and wearing what looked to be a green Victorian outfit.
"The sweets Rose bought…oh no," her Doctor sighed as he realised. "Don't tell me, you were trying to fix the flow relay." Both nodded.
"Nothing is better than Jelly Babies," Four sulked.
"Doctor, so who are those two?" Rose asked.
Her Doctor pointed in turn. "That's the fifth me, and that's the eighth me."
Five came forward to shake her hand. "Pleased to meet you…"
"Rose," she replied.
"Rose. May I?" he indicated the bag of Milky Babies. Rose nodded, and he took a few to eat. Then Eight came up; he was very handsome. He kissed her hand before he took some sweets to eat.
"He's right, you know….they are better than Jelly Babies," Five stated.
"Definitely better," Eight agreed.
"Are not!" Four exclaimed as the other three went to nick some more off Rose. "Besides, shouldn't we be figuring out how to fix this?"
"Yeah…. Sorry old chap, but these are so nice." The other two nodded.
"Stop ganging up on me and fix this!" So the other three Doctors came back to the console, all with some sweets. They sat there talking…well, three were talking, and one was sulking, eating his Jelly Babies. Finally, Eight had had enough and grabbed the Jelly Babies off Four. Rose rolled her eyes. They were acting like five-year-olds.
"Hey, give me my Jelly Babies back!"
"Here, let's compare," Eight said, ignoring Four.
"Don't ignore me! ….Rose!" Four tried to get some backup.
"Oh no, don't drag me into this."
"Yeah, she's on my side," her Doctor said, coming behind her to give a possessive hug.
"I'm on no one's side. I'm staying out of this," Rose replied, looking back to her magazine.
Five was trying to calm down the situation. "Now come on you two, there is no need for that, give him his Jelly Babies back."
"I'll give them back if he tries one of these," Eight replied, holding one of the Milky Babies.
"No." Four pouted.
"Fine. Then I will eat these." Eight stuck a Jelly Baby in his mouth.
"Okay! Just don't eat them all!" Four looked like he was about to cry. He took the Milky Baby and began to chew. The other three waited with bated breath.
"It's nice…. Can I have some more?"
"Yes! We have converted him!" Eight began dancing with Ten while Five came to get some more sweets -- for some reason they were very addictive.
"Sorry boys, you've eaten them all," Rose announced, hiding the other pack behind her. They sulked but decided to get back to fixing the TARDIS. There were a few clangs, and technical stuff tossed back and forth…but this didn't last long.
"What was your favourite flavour?" That was her Doctor's voice.
"Banana milkshake one." That was Eight.
"I only had one, so I don't know what my favourite is." That was Four -- sounded like he was pouting.
"I rather liked the chocolate one," that was Five.
"No, the best has to be the butterscotch." It didn't surprise her that the butterscotch had been her Doctor's favourite.
"I want some more." (Four.)
"Me too." (Five.)
Rose also wanted some more. She tried to quietly open the other packet.
"I'd do anything for some." That was her Doctor.
The bag made a popping sound…then everything was silent. Rose held her breath and shrieked when the four of them popped up.
"Rose…."
"We want them, Rose."
"Give them to us."
"Please, Rose."
"No…they're mine!" she replied to the four Doctors. They began advancing on her. Next thing, her Doctor made a grab for the sweets; she pulled them away but ended up on the floor. Eight came in and took them from her.
"Ha. They're mine!" There was an "Oof" as he disappeared under the form of Five, who then got up and ran to the other side of the console.
"No, they are all mine!" Four tripped him up with his scarf and hog-tied him, missing her own Doctor grabbing the sweets once more. He went past Rose, thinking he was safe. But Rose had enough of this. She took it from his grasp, making him run into the wall.
"My precious!" came the exclamation from Four as he realised her Doctor had run off with them.
"Right, that's it! If you lot don't start fixing the TARDIS now, I'll let the old girl eat them!"
As if hearing this, the console opened up to expose a glow Rose knew to be her heart. All the Doctors stilled, as if she was threatening a small child.
"Now Rose, calm down… just put the Milky Babies down," Eight said softly.
"I mean it!" She lowered them.
"Okay Rose. We are fixing it." The four backed off and set to work on the TARDIS. Soon enough, with them all concentrating on it, they had it fixed; all they needed was to press the button and send the others back. But now an argument over who would take the sweets with him had begun.
"I'll take them -- makes sense -- then we will like them sooner," Four argued.
"I should keep them. I'm the oldest," hers argued back.
"No, I should have them; I am sweeter than all of you." That had been Eight.
"I should have them so I can give them to Tegan when she gets mad." The other three seemed to consider this….
"Naw," they replied. Rose rolled her eyes and pressed the button. There was a flash, and all that was left was her Doctor.
"Well done, Rose; now give me the sweets." He tried to move, only to find he was tied up with Four's scarf. "What? When did you…?"
"You passed out; I tied you up," Rose replied, sitting back on the chair with the sweets. She opened up her magazine again and continued to read as she placed the sweets in her mouth.
"Rose…"
She ignored him.
"Come on, Rose….please!" Nope, no reaction. This continued on until it came to the last sweet. He was begging, giving it the full Bambi eyes and kicked puppy look. But she slowly put it in her mouth and chewed.
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
888888
The Doctor hadn't talked to her for two days after that, and now they were back on Earth visiting her mum. When they walked past a shop in the window, it proclaimed:
"New: Bassets Party Babies."
"Oooh, new sweets!" he exclaimed.
"I want some!" A blur of green went past.
"Me too!" Blur of white with a dash of green.
"Me first!" Blur of brown/red with curls.
"What about your Jelly Babies?" asked Eight.
"Never mind the Jelly Babies. I want those," Four replied, pushing Eight out of the way. She could see her own Doctor and Five at the till. Looked like there was only one packet left.
Rose decided to leave as the sound of sirens drew near…
The End.
KITG; there you go, just some insanity written at four in the morning. So forgive the mistakes.:P see you in time : )