Sedative

I'm not exactly sure how I got myself into her car.

I'm not even sure how I got dressed.

But, here I am, in the front passenger's seat wearing the same old cloak and feeling rather miserable.

I told Botan I had a hangover.

Perhaps I shouldn't have drunk some sake today.

"Are you okay," Botan whispers softly, leaning closer to the wheel.

I sigh.

"I'm fine. Never better."

Botan blinks.

"Are you sure? You're kinda yellow, and green."

You've caught me, Botan.

I'm alive, and bright as a cheerleader making the squad; fresh as a daisy, you intelligent ferry girl.

Now, be quiet and let me deal with the inconvenience of this hangover in peace.

"I'm fine, Botan. You should worry about yourself, not me."

"And why shouldn't I worry about you? You're my friend, I care about you."

I move closer to the seat, quite thankful that I don't have a seatbelt on, and swallow.

"Don't go there. Just don't go there."

She groans and turns back to the road, swerving recklessly on a corner.

"Ugh... Easy on the curves, ferry girl. I seriously don't want to have one in your car right now, 'kay?"

She giggled and then nodded.

"Okay..."

You think that this is funny, try having a hangover.

And a headache.

A bad one.

"Hey, Hiei, do you remember where we're going?"

"No... The baby shower, right...?"

"You do remember, that's good! Maybe you're not drunk, after all."

"No...but I do have a hangover, so it's not so different..."

"Perhaps..."

Wow, I think that you just made a fact now.

Call 'Guinness Book', we have a winner.

Botan turns again, not as recklessly, and I notice that now we are in Yusuke's neighborhood.

"Great... only ten more minutes..."

"Actually, Hiei, five. Tell me you didn't forget where Yusuke lives?"

"I never knew... So, no... and yes..."

"And you stalked him? I'm amazed."

I frown and bury my head into my robe.

So am I, Botan, so am I.

"Where's the Prince of Dumb-Asses?"

"Do you mean Koenma?"

I know she's frowning.

It positively radiates from the sound of her voice.

"Yeah..."

"He's got work to do today, so he can't come. And he won't be here tonight so you can come over, again."

"How long have I been staying at your apartment?"

"Two weeks."

Whoa.

It's as simple as that.

Well, at least I think it's simple.

"Hey, Botan, d'you have any of those... pills that relieve headaches... you know... the red ones...?"

"You mean 'Tylenol'?"

"Yeah."

"They're pink, Hiei. And check the glove box."

Well, excuse me for getting their color wrong.

I reach over to open said glove box and I yank it open, spilling its contents of papers and manuals on the floor.

"Thanks a lot, Hiei."

"You're welcome."

Without bothering to look at her or inside the glove box, I sift through the remaining contents till my hand rests on a pill bottle.

I pull it out and quickly open it.

Then I happily chug down some of the pills.

"You can get an overdose if you eat too much of those. You do know that, right?"

"No."

And personally, you overly joyful annoyance with a voice, I don't care.

I just want my headache to go away.

Indeed, it was five minutes until we got there, and she quickly got out of the car.

I don't bother to look out the window or to get out.

One; I don't care what's out there, I'll see it soon enough.

Two; the child safety lock is on because Botan doesn't want me to 'run away'.

Paranoid Botan.

She opens my door and I slump to the side slightly.

"Come on..."

I turn my still sore head towards her and frown.

"You're too chipper... stop it."

Botan rolled her eyes and gestured me to get out.

"Come on, don't be so pissed off today..."

Then something in me snapped.

I jolted up and eyed her angrily, eyes blazing.

Botan blinked rather dumbly and moved back.

"What the hell's your problem?"

I growled and grabbed her by her collar and pulled her close, our noses almost touching.

"Don't be pissed off? How the hell can I not be pissed off! And what the hell is my problem?"

" I have a hangover, a damn bad headache that refuses to go away, and a bloody wound on my temple from my 'friend' when she loses her god damn temper, and you're telling me not to be pissed off!"

I growl threateningly and she stutters something incoherent.

"I know about t-the hangover and t-the headache, just don't be s-so angry. And I s-said I'm s-s-sorry about this morning, I didn't mean to."

"Says the vain of my existence," I snapped angrily and toss her away.

She stumbles back and nearly lands on her backside, but she gets back up.

"Hey, if anything is the 'vain of your existence,' its alcohol, you insensitive bastard."

Wow, Botan is also changing.

Long gone is the submissive Deity of Death that always laughed.

Now, there is only a young woman whose seen more the she could handle.

And I don't like it.

"Insensitive bastard, am I? What about you, Botan? Weren't you always the bubbly, laughter-filled bitch that always thought that there was goodness in people?"

Now she growled, pink eyes flaring as she approached me.

"You're not the one to use those words, Hiei. I'm not the one that drowns himself in sake and beer every chance he gets! I'm not the one who refuses help from people who care about him! You're the one with the problem, not me!"

"Are you telling me that everything is my fault! You don't know jack-squat about why I started drinking, so just shut the hell up!"

Botan frowned, and placed her hands on her hips.

"Yes! It wasn't me who forced your to drink, so you should shut the hell up!"

"And it wasn't me who chose to come here! You forced me!"

"So, just go and sit down the minute we enter, jackass! I don't care what the hell you do!"

We both were yelling now, with her taking a fighting stance.

It was then that I realized that this wasn't the first fight that I had had with her.

And it wasn't the first one that used those same insults.

I remember (one of the only things that I do) when she came home and asked me if I had been drinking.

Of course I had and I responded by smashing a mirror and threatening to cut her with a shard of glass.

Botan stopped me (I don't remember how) and I awoke on the couch.

I knew why I had smashed that particular mirror, it had been a present from her dead grandmother, and I knew that it was irreplaceable.

I just wanted to cause her as much pain as possible...

So, instead of lashing out and ending her life right there, I slumped back in the car seat and sighed.

"Right... it's all my fault... I get it..."

I heard Botan gasp slightly before kneeling before me.

"Come on, let's just go, 'kay? They'll be worried about us."

And she smiled, rather happily at that, beseeching me to come.

I nodded, no longer really caring, and slid silently out of the car seat.

With a chipper laugh, she led the way to the Detective's house.

I followed obediently, keeping my head down and eyes closed.

I know, or at least I think I know, that the 'argument' ended rather fast.

Well, from what I can remember, our 'arguments' never really lasted long.

We yell, exchange insults, swear, throw things, swear some more, and then we end up being 'friends' again.

Nothing new.

So, Botan energetically rung the Urameshi doorbell and waited, with me behind her.

It wasn't long before Yusuke showed up, red in the face and laughing quite hard.

"Hey, Botan! How ya' doin'?"

"I'm doing good, Yusuke. How's Kayko?"

He laughed some more.

"The wicked witch is all right; yellin' at me about how it's 'my fault' an' all that other shit."

Botan looked at him confused.

"Your fault?"

"That she's pregnant, genius. She says it's my fault."

"But of course it's your fault, Detective. It is your sperm, right? Or, is your girl lying to you?"

Yusuke looked over Botan and his smile widened.

"An' hi to ya' too, Shorty! An' how ya' doin'?"

I scoffed lightly, avoiding his eyes.

That 'Tylenol' shit hadn't worked yet.

"I'm fine."

"Ya' sure? Ya' got a scab on your head, ya' get hit?"

You're a genius, Urameshi.

"I'm fine."

He chuckled before gesturing the both of us in.

Botan went in rather quickly, skipping playfully.

And I followed like a disgruntled dog.

When we entered, I saw everybody laughing and eating, everybody meaning Yukina, Kuwabara, Genkai, Atsuko, Shizuru, Kurama, and Kayko.

Yep, the whole gang.

I quickly detached myself from Botan and Yusuke and made my way to a gray loveseat.

She told me to sit, didn't she?

I watched her move towards Kayko, who was obviously bloated with child, and the other women.

Atsuko moved over towards Kuwabara, offering a plate of onigiri and udon served with soy sauce.

I was rather tempted to try some onigiri, I hadn't had some in a while, but the hangover and headache were still in place.

So, in a 'killer vantage point', I witnessed the oaf gobble down some udon, topped with a swig of sake.

Sake?

Hiei, I told myself, you have a hangover, a headache, and have already had a drink today, relax.

But, maybe I do have a drinking problem, considering that I was rather encouraged to go get some...

But, then of course, Botan would have my ass.

So, I stayed where I was and placed my head on the armrest of the chair.

I don't really know how long I stayed in that position.

By the time I realized that everyone besides me had changed positions, Atsuko was now serving an oden nabe dish.

Once again, I was rather tempted to get up, this time not for a drink.

I don't remember the last time I've eaten, and at the moment, I don't really care.

So, sighing reproachfully, I stayed where I was and closed my eyes, hoping for some sleep.

"Hello, Hiei."

My whole body ran cold and I gave an involuntary shiver.

"Hello... Kurama."

He didn't answer, but I felt his energy rise dangerously.

Kurama know about my 'problem'.

He can smell it on me; I don't even think that anyone else knows besides him, Botan, and Koenma.

Sometimes I damn his fox nose.

And it is obvious that he doesn't like it.

He doesn't treat me like a 'friend' anymore, heightening his energy whenever I'm near him.

I know he doesn't trust me, I don't even think he likes me anymore.

So, I curl up into a ball and remain motionless as Kurama speaks with me.

"How are you?"

I curl up tighter.

I hate the sound of his voice; all cold and heartless... so much like my own...

"I'm fine. I don't know how many times I've been asked that question..."

Kurama growled.

"With you, Hiei, it's hard to tell."

Thanks, a real confidence booster.

"Did you have anything to drink today?"

"Yeah, so what?"

He growled again, and shifted his weight on the loveseat.

"Did you have anything to eat?"

"No."

"Then why not go to Atsuko and ask her for some nikujaga? Or some ramen?"

"I'm not hungry, Suichi."

"But I insist... Imiko."

I jolted up, much to my head's displeasure, and turned to face him.

His face was impassive as he got up and moved towards Kuwabara and Yusuke, who were both enjoying the oden nabe dish.

I watched Kurama smile sophisticatedly and gladly took some of the food.

I found myself allowing my energy to grow, threatening to spontaneously combust at any moment.

But he took no notice and sat down next to Atsuko and Shizuru to eat.

Why?

I didn't do anything to deserve this.

Cringing at the sight of my 'friend' conversing with the others as if I didn't exist, green eyes flashing socially, and leaving me into the dust.

I really needed a drink.

I slowly got up, ignoring the pain in my head throbbing like a bell, and moved towards the hall.

"Where are you going, psychopath?"

So observant, aren't you, Genkai.

"Is it really any of your business, grandma? I don't think that I am any of your concern."

I didn't even looked at any of them as I made my way to the kitchen.

Looking at the modestly decorated kitchen and appliances, I searched for her liquor cabinet.

I really did need a drink.

Well, I knew that Botan or Kurama would most likely think that I would pull a stunt like this, but who cares?

I don't.

It took me two minutes to find it and three minutes to break it open (it had a lock, how safe) and quickly rummaged through the different bottles.

I wasn't sure what I wanted, and this was much more serious then the age-old question; boxers or briefs?

So, I continued my rummaging until my hand landed on some vodka.

I hadn't had some in a while, so I pulled it out, and was ready to high tail it out of there.

"Mr. Hiei?"

Great, I couldn't exactly run away with my sister watching me, now could I?

"Mr. Hiei, are you okay...?"

I am really getting tired of that question.

Without turning around, I nodded.

I'm grateful that she doesn't know about my problem; Koorime rarely use their noses to tell the difference between certain things, unlike foxes.

"Okay. Kurama told me that you didn't have anything to eat, and I was wondering if you wanted anything. I'm pretty sure there's some nikujaga out there, or some oden?"

I sighed, before placing the vodka back in it's rightful place.

"I'm really not hungry, Yukina. I'm just... tired, that's all."

I heard her sigh slightly and move closer to me.

"I can make some chazuke for you, I'm really good at it. Would you like some?"

Repressing the urge to groan or make any anti-social noise for that matter, I followed her back into the dining area where I noticed that only Kayko, Kuwabara, Atsuko, and Genkai were still eating.

Everyone else was sitting in the living room, talking about this and that as if everything was normal.

Yukina offered me a seat next to Kayko, who had one of her hands on her bloated stomach.

I could sense the child's energy and it would be a girl, probably as bit as arrogant as her father, but having the strong slapping hand of her mother.

When that child is born, prepare yourself Tokyo, Japan, for you may never be the same.

"Here you go, Mr. Hiei."

Yukina placed a polish pottery bowl in front of chazuke.

Placing the chopsticks on top of the bowl, she smiled cheerfully before she moved towards the others that were in the living room.

Suppressing the urge to stab the salmon with the chopsticks, I sighed and slowly began to eat.

As I ate, I heard Kayko eagerly tell everyone else at the table when the baby was due.

Needless to say, I wasn't paying attention.

My stomach was arguing with me, telling me not to eat anymore.

But by the looks Kurama and Yukina were giving me, the latter encouraging and the former coldly, I continued eating.

It took me a while to finish, and when I did, only Kayko and Kuwabara were with me at the table.

I slowly got up, not forgetting to place the chopsticks on the bowl and moved away from the table, my movements deliberately slow.

Well, I was pleased.

I made Yukina pleased.

But while the both of us were pleased, my stomach was not.

So, I quickly make my way towards Atsuko, when she is about to enter the kitchen with dirty dishes.

I asked her where the restroom is, and as politely as I could.

She looks down at me, eye twinkling, before giving me a crooked smile.

"'Kay, you're Yusuke's friends, aren't ya'? Down the hall, to the left, shorty. I like your hair!"

I effectively ignored the last comment and moved towards the hall once more.

Kurama eyed me dangerously as I leave his line of sight.

Oh, just fuck you, Kurama. Just fuck you...

I trudged silently to the restroom, my stomach growling and gurgling all the way.

When I enter, I slam the door shut and lock it.

I look around and notice that this place is probably more modern then the other areas, with the crystalline white walls and marble bath.

But, it's all too blinding, so I quickly made my way to the sink.

I looked into the mirror and noticed that my usually pale skin is now unhealthily pale.

There are dark bags under my eyes, and my gravity-defying hair is now slightly slumped at the edges.

Man, I looked dead.

But before I could make anymore decisions on my appearance, my stomach lurched up, and I made a dive towards the toilet.

All that I have eaten and all that I have drank come up in a triumphant spill.

My throat became sore; the acid from my stomach rubbed it raw.

I even think I see speckles of blood.

But when I think that it's over, my stomach tumbles again, reeling back dangerously and spilling out more.

That hurt.

It was as simple as that.

Now, I was sure that I saw blood mixed in, like some horrible red liquid mocking me.

I groaned; I did not feel good.

Soon, my hacking spell stopped and I pulled my head out of the no longer clean bowl.

I sat down next to the toilet, my head directly under the sink, with one of my arms twisted around the toilet.

I was so tired.

My eyes slowly began to droop as a wave of drowsiness took over.

Then, there was a knock on the door.

"Hiei? Are you in here?"

Good old Botan, coming to the rescue when not needed.

"Are you all right...?"

I growled, pulling myself up slowly, being careful not to get into the light.

"You know... I am... so... tired... of that... question... Don't... ask it... again..."

She muttered something incoherent and I decided not to press the matter.

I slouched back under the sink and sighed.

"Hiei... Kurama would like to know when you would be getting out..."

"What... Does he...think... that I'm drinking... again...?"

Botan sighed and I felt her energy move closer to the door.

"No, he's just worried."

"Liar... he hates me... now..."

"He doesn't hate you!"

I growled, turning my head to the side.

"Yeah right... He doesn't... even... want... to look me... in the... eye anymore."

She didn't answer.

Like I wanted her to.

But, maybe I did.

I don't know.

"You're speaking slowly... Are you sure that you're alright?"

"I... told you... not to ask... that... again..."

"Alright..."

And Botan left, almost as quickly as she came.

Sighing, my head lulls back against the tiles behind me, the coolness of them didn't bother me at all.

It's actually comforting.

Only slightly, though.

It kind of reminds me of... that island...

"Damn them... this is their fault... not mine..."

Liar.

I know.

And that was when drowsiness took over.

Tylenol works, the perfect sedative.