Exile

I could hear some yelling it was getting annoying.

I groaned and rolled over, and relished in two new facts that I discovered.

One, I had more room to move.

Two, there was no second body next to mine.

My arms raised in a stretch, I got up and looked around the pink colored living room

In my opinion, Botan has to change the color of this room.

It's much too bright.

Rubbing my eyes, I grew focused to the light and sighed.

I had had a good sleep, one of the best I had had in awhile.

Perhaps it was the fact that there was a warm body next to mine, constantly pulling me closer.

"Look, we didn't do anything! We just fell asleep like that!"

"You fell asleep with another man, Botan! How am I supposed to overlook that?"

"I didn't sleep sleep with him, we just slept! In that position, there's nothing wrong with that!"

"And how am I supposed to know that you didn't do anything else besides sleep?"

"You're supposed to trust me, that's why!"

I slumped down, the blanket pooling at my waist.

That was my wake up call; Koenma and Botan yelling their hearts out.

And all because her and me slept together, just not in the way that it implies.

Man, I needed a drink.

"Botan, we're sharing a house with a drunk! He has to go! You even told me that he'd be gone by the time I came home today!"

"I said no such thing! We're his friends, we're supposed to help him!"

"Help him? He doesn't even want to help himself! He nearly killed himself yesterday with those pills!"

"He just blacked out!"

"So, he's a drunk and a druggie! How are we supposed to help him now?"

I sighed, shaking my head as I continued to hear shouts coming from the kitchen.

I could only imagine how Koenma had found us, and I felt happy that he did.

But I was also curious as to what would happen to me, now that he had found out and wanted to throw me out.

My eyes slowly shut and their voices gladly faded away.

Why?

Maybe I should go, relieve Botan of this stress of keeping me here.

By me staying here, I was endangering her would-be-marriage.

But, I never did care for people's feelings when it came to endangering something that they hoped for.

So, that hasn't changed either, I suppose.

"Please, Koenma. Let him stay, he's my friend…."

"I know he is, Botan. But he needs to get better by himself, that's the most help we can give him."

"But you know that he won't help himself. He needs us, he needs me…."

And I noticed that both of them were refusing to use my name, they never uttered it in their conversation.

I grunted, rather angrily and my eyes burst open.

I would be lying if I said that it didn't annoy me, I would like to be called by my name then anything else, if truth were told.

I was having thoughts about going into the kitchen and tell them what I thought, but I didn't have to, for Koenma was coming out, followed by a disgruntled ferry girl.

He looked at me as he entered the living room and scowled. I scowled right on back.

"Hiei," he said lowly and I grunted in reply, folding my arms. "I don't know... what you and Botan... did last night, but I find that I don't really care." At this, I nearly let out a loud laugh. Koenma caught the humorous look on my face, and scowled. So, he wanted to know what was so funny...

"Lying bastard, you care very much about what happened last night," I said, egging him on. And he fell for it. Face growing red, he moved towards me, skidding past the chairs.

"And what did happen... you little brat?"

"Little brat... not a very good insult, considering your other form..." Koenma nearly exploded and I smirked triumphantly. But, Botan moved forward and grabbed the prince's arms.

"No," she said forcefully, pink eyes aflame. "Don't you touch him, Koenma." He looked back at her and straightened out. I stared at the ferry girl, and she looked back at me, slightly in distaste that I had goaded her fiancé.

Koenma stared down at me, angrily.

"Listen... you, I want you out of my house, by today! And," he said, trying to sound threatening, "if I catch you anywhere near us again, I'll send you straight into prison, do you understand?" I growled; how dare he order me around?

But Koenma took my silence for acceptance and moved away, Botan still on his arm.

"But where will Hiei go," she asked, sounding frightened.

"If he likes to mooch off other people so much, he should try Atsuko... They have a lot in common." And with that, he left, leaving a stunned Botan behind. Her mouth opened and closed several times before she turned and looked at me.

She was angry, for more then one reason I could tell. I decided not to press any more buttons, knowing full well that it would just get me in more trouble.

Botan was still standing, angrily. Her eyes shone dangerously, before she looked at me.

"Hiei... You don't have to leave... you know that, right?" She was trying to sound encouraging; she really didn't want me to leave. I sighed.

"You don't want to piss him off anymore, do you?" Botan huffed and I smirked at her.

"That bastard... I really should go give him a piece of my mind," she murmured, crossing her arms over her chest. I smirked and shrugged.

"If that dumb-ass can't even trust his fiancée, that's his problem... not yours." She nodded, then sighed.

"I'm going out, 'kay?"

"To find the Prince of Dumb-Asses," I guessed, frowning slightly. She nodded slowly, her upper lip twitching.

"Yes," she murmured, as if to confirm her own thoughts. Botan looked back at me, and smiled tiredly.

She moved quickly over to her coat and grabbed a long gray one.

"Hiei, when I'm gone... don't drink... please...?" It sounded as if she was begging me and I nodded. I didn't really feel like a drink at the moment anyway; I could feel the side effects from yesterday assaulting my head.

Botan nodded again and didn't say anything as she left.

I was alone.

Again.

I lay back down on the couch, the ceiling swimming slightly in my dazed vision.

Yep, a headache was coming on.

Brilliant.

In truth, I was very bored. But I had no where to go.

Except, outside.

But that wasn't really an option, considering that outside it was cold and dreary and I had a headache coming on.

I sighed and rolled over.

Every thought I had acquired slowly went away from me as I fell back asleep.

That was the best thing I could do at the moment.

I was in a dark room and could feel the coldness about me.

There were sounds... chuckling and panting...

Claustrophobia... panic... desperation...

I tried to move, but found myself frozen in place.

Talking or screaming wasn't an option either; my voice decided to take a vacation.

Forms began to make themselves known and soon I found myself staring at one: an elderly woman in a blue kimono.

"Look what the Imiko has become," the Koorime elder said, victoriously.

I tried to struggle as I stared at the woman that ruined my life, but I couldn't. She sneered in my face.

"A monster at birth... A monster at adolescence... a monster at adulthood... a monster at death." She chuckled cruelly and spat at my feet.

"Come," she said easily, like a ringmaster at a circus, "Come and see this creature..." I watched as more forms began to appear.

I saw the group of thieves that I grew up with. They smirked and leered at me.

"'E's too pretty for a monster... look at 'im! Smooth skin, like a kid's!"

"Kinda wish we used 'im when we 'ad da chance, dontcha' dink?" I wanted to retch and a tried to struggle again when more forms began to appear and stare at me.

"Deception... disgrace... evil as plain as the scar on his face," a disembodied voice called.

"Deception..." Kurama murmured coldly.

"An outrage!" Koenma shouted, face contorted with anger.

"He can't change his stripes," said a voice, sounding like Yusuke.

"Disgrace," countered Yukina, her eyes shining.

"Forshame," Botan said softly, looking away.

"You know these outsider types," Genkai's voice rang throughout the darkness.

"He asked for trouble the moment he came," countered Kuwabara's voice, mocking me.

"See you later, agitator!" The thieves chorused happily.

"Deception... (An outrage!)" Mukuro called out.

"Just leave us alone," yelled Kayko's voice.

"Disgrace (Forshame!)," Rui said slowly, eyes closing.

"Traitor, go back with your own!" cried Shizuru angrily, cigarette lighted in her hand.

"He asked for trouble the moment he came..."

"See your later, agitator!"

Another form loomed behind Botan and approached. She looked like the Koorime, with her blue hair and attire. Looking at Yukina with shock and Rui with hate, she looked at me... sadly.

"Born in grief, raised in hate, helpless to... defy his fate," she said sadly, eyes tearing.

"Let him run, let him live, but do not forget what we cannot forgive," shouted the Koorime elder, Rui, and Yukina. The woman looked on helplessly and disappeared in the darkness.

I struggled again, and heard clinking sounds as small blue stones rolled into view. Mother...?

"And he is not... one of us," retorted Koenma and Kurama, the former smiling cruelly.

"He has never been one of us... He is not part of us, not our kind," the two continued. Kurama sighed, a fake sigh, and the thieves joined in.

"Someone once... lied to us... now we're not so blind," called out the thief that had found me. I watched, in horror, as the leader of the thieves moved towards me, smiling.

"For we knew he would do what he's done... and we know that he'll never be one of us!" 'What did I do,' I wanted to scream, but my vocal cords tightened. 'I never lied!'

I watched Botan move towards Koenma and place her head on his shoulder, looking at me regretfully.

"He is not... one of us..." She disappeared in the darkness, Koenma going with her. Mukuro went next, chuckling, and then the thieves. Rui looked at me, and frowned before the darkness swallowed her up.

The Koorime elder smiled one last time, before she too was swallowed up in the darkness. Kurama and Yukina approached me.

"Deception," the fox murmured, eyes hinting gold.

"Disgrace," my sister said slowly, without a hint of sadness.

"Deception," Kurama said more forcefully, leaning into my face. I tried to pull away, but I was drawn to him.

"Disgrace..." Yukina's voice flowed through my brain as she disappeared. Kurama leaned closer until our noses touched.

I watch my friend, my first friend, glare at me with hatred.

"Deception..." I screamed.

I jolted up, the dark world dissolving around me, my shirt clinging to me due to my sweat.

I was shaking violently, looking around the room fervently.

The room was a slightly blue, due to the fact that my eyes had been closed for so long, but this only caused my fears to grow.

Crying out, I nearly fell off the couch.

My heart was beating rapidly as I stood up and looked around the pink colored room.

I was still shaking and couldn't stop myself from clutching my head and crying out once more, just a little louder.

Falling to my knees, I began to rock, clutching my head as if trying to drown out sounds.

"No... they wouldn't do that... they're not like that... I know them..."

Do you, answered a voice, Kurama doesn't seem to be too fond of you... now does he?

"No... That doesn't mean... The others... Yukina... they wouldn't do that, I know."

Oh, really? Do you really know so much about them to know if they'd abandon you? You don't, do you?

I screamed, loudly and crumpled on the floor.

"I know they wouldn't! They're not like that...! None of them are... none of them..."

Really? I hope you're sure about that... I really do... Because you're sanity is my lifeline... If it ends...

"What...?"

I'm you, dear one. If your sanity ends and the insanity begins... I may not be so nice, anymore...

I shook my head.

"I'm hearing voices now... and talking back to them... No..."

Really, if you continue like this, I may just get hostile... your sanity has a refreshing taste to it, dear one; I'd hate to loose it...

"Shut up! Do you hear me! Shut up!"

I clutched my head harder and curled in a ball. I heard a faint sound but it was quickly ignored when 'the voice' spoke up again.

Oh, are you mad, dear? You shouldn't be... I'm just telling the truth, and the truth is always better then lies, right? I should think so... what about you?

"Stop it...! Stop it with the fucking questions!"

Why?

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT UP!"

"Hiei...! Hiei, calm down...!"

That voice was urgent and I felt hands reach out and grasp my shoulders.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"

But the hands didn't let go and I screamed loudly and began to rock faster.

Now, you see. Maybe you were right... or maybe the detective has a soft spot for you.

"Shut up," I screamed loudly, my eyes bursting open.

Disorientated, I tried to stand up but the hands held me down firmly. I looked at Yusuke with wonderment before I began to shake once more.

"Botan," he called, looking at me worriedly, "come in! We need some help!"

He turned back to me, eyes widened frightfully. I shook my head and began breathy erratically.

"G-go aw-way... now..." He shook his head, holding me down.

"I can't do that, Hiei. What's wrong? What happened-"

"NOW! LET ME GO, NOW!"

"Hiei," called Botan, and I felt her come closer, "calm down, we're just trying to-!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY! AND GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"

My energy burst from me before I could stop myself and I heard shocked cries before everything went black.

Really, dear, you should learn to control your emotions... They really will get the best of you, someday.

Author's Notes: One of Us lyrics (c) to Disney