Quinn, in the forest

We left the carriage and greeted Daryl. Carol hugged him, Henry shook hands with him.

"Hey, Quinn," he said, nodded slightly.

"Hey," I said. I wasn't angry anymore, but I couldn't process yet that he saved my life, it was so surreal. I didn't know how to think about him or how to act towards him.

Daryl was carrying firewood, we followed him back to his camp. The area was full of traps, I had to watch my step. He had a camp out there and a dog.

"Oh my god," I said when I saw the dog. I love animals, so I couldn't resist, I just had to pet it. He sniffed me curiously. Daryl made a surprised face.

"He doesn't like strangers," he said in his growling voice.

I didn't pay attention to him, the dog was so cute I petted his head all over. Carol asked Daryl a couple of questions, but I wasn't interested. They set off to the woods to check Daryl's traps.

"Are you staying?" Carol asked me.

"Yep, I'm good," I said, sitting down on a stump. Carol glanced at Henry.

"Don't let her go anywhere," she said, Henry nodded. I rolled my eyes. At least the cute doggy stayed behind, sat next to me.

"Aww, who is a good boy?" I asked him and petted his head again. Henry giggled he petted the dog too. This was the first time ever I was alone with Henry. He grew up so fast, he was like a little man already. I didn't know what to say to him, the silence started to become awkward.

"So…" he started, seems like he had something in mind. "You know, mom didn't tell me anything particular but… I was just curious…"

"You are curious about how I almost died?"

"Yes," he said.

I felt uneasy talking about it.

"Well… umm…" I didn't know how to talk about it. "What do you want to know exactly?"

"I don't know… Why did you think it was the best solution?" he asked finally.

"I couldn't think straight back then. You know… it was like your mind is not yours anymore, you can't control your thoughts. And you can't choose who you fall in love with…"

"I heard mom tell dad once that you… so you really? I mean… did you fall in love with… Negan?" he said Negan's name like it was a disgusting insect's name.

"Yep. But shouldn't you be guarding me and trying hard to avoid anything that could remind me of Negan?" I asked him jokingly because Carol did exactly that. He got it and started to laugh.

"Sorry, I'm just curious."

"Don't worry, but we really shouldn't be talking about… Him."

"I get it, sorry. Really. I was just too curious."

"No problem. Come and pet this dog instead," We smiled and petted the dog's head. It didn't seem to oppose it. Carol and Daryl were away for a couple of hours. I loved Henry and Ezekiel, but… I couldn't let go of the thought that Carol and Daryl should be together. They just understood each other perfectly. However, I couldn't blame Carol for choosing Ezekiel… at least he was clean. I smiled to myself at this thought.

"What are you smiling about?" asked Henry. I'm just shipping your mom with someone else other than your dad. I smiled even more at this thought.

"Nothing. Just how stupid I am," Maybe I should tell him about Daryl to make him laugh?

"Why are you stupid?"

"I had a crush on Daryl, once."

Henry made a disgusted face.

"What?" he asked totally taken aback. I laughed at his reaction, worth it. "But he is so… strange and…"

"The word you are looking for is unhygienic," I said giggling.

We both laughed. Yeah, Daryl wasn't famous for having baths in the middle of the woods in this cold.

"You have a bad taste in men," said Henry. I stared at him.

"Really?! You don't say? Why do you think my life is so miserable?" I said mockingly, joking.

We both burst into laughter again.

Suddenly the dog stood up and jogged away.

"Noooo, doggy," I said sadly. "He just left us."

Carol and Daryl emerged from the trees.

"We got a rabbit and a snake for dinner," said Carol proudly. I still didn't like killing animals to eat, I wish I had other options, but it was a must. I always helped out with cleaning the dishes instead of preparing the meal. I always left that part for Carol. We watched Daryl build a fire.

Just as we were preparing for dinner, the dog rushed to us with a… human foot in his mouth. He took it to Daryl. My mouth fell open. Carol frowned her eyebrows. Henry watched the scene questioningly. Finally, Carol asked about it, but Daryl didn't give a real answer. He took the foot and throw it into the fire. Carol was pushing Daryl with some hints which I didn't really understand but Henry got it immediately. He figured it out that we came here, so Carol would get Daryl to babysit him at Hilltop. Now I got it too. Maybe Carol wanted to keep Daryl somewhere she knew, so she wouldn't have to worry about him again. Henry seemed a little offended, but Carol hushed him. I stood up to stretch my legs. While we waited for the meat to get ready, Carol took the chance to give Daryl a make-over. She cut his hair. When I would think I couldn't ship them more. I smiled again to myself. How can Carol still be with Ezekiel?! They are so clearly meant for each other. Henry looked at them curiously too.

This scene reminded me of when I cut Negan's hair and beard… I couldn't stop the thought rushing into my head, I remembered how he stared at me with his brown eyes while I was cutting his beard… then I got distracted.

Before the scene would get more awkward, Daryl announced the dinner is ready. I looked at the sky for a moment, it was changing colors. Then I turned around and went back to the campfire. Henry asked Daryl about the scar under his eye, but he didn't answer. Now that he mentioned it, I looked more carefully and I saw it. He did have a scar, he didn't have before. I frowned my eyebrows. Daryl started to call his dog, that's when we found out he calls the dog dog.

"That's his name? Really?" I asked him. Henry rolled his eyes. He clearly thought Daryl was just a mad old man. I think he didn't give a name to the dog because that would make him attached to it and it would be more painful when he lost it. But he was already loving that dog, so it was pointless. We finished our meal quietly, Carol and Henry set up their tent to sleep in. I volunteered to keep watch. I didn't want to sleep anyway.

"Alright," said Carol glancing at me suspiciously. I sighed.

"You really think I could sneak away from Daryl? He can track anyone and anything," I told her. She smiled at me and went into the tent. Henry followed her. I sat back to the campfire. Daryl sat next to me. We were sitting there in silence. Daryl was the only person whom you couldn't feel awkward with when you didn't talk to each other. He wasn't a man of words, either, so I didn't mind silence. I was really surprised when he started to talk to me.

"How are ya?" he asked in his low, growling voice. I looked at him.

"I'm... I'm alive," I said, shrugged my shoulder.

"Are ya still thinkin' about him?"

"No," I said as confidently as I could.

"You're lying," he told me. Shit.

"It's hard not to think about him," I said.

"Ya should get something that would distract ya."

"Like gardening and knitting or what? I can't imagine not thinking about him."

Daryl simply shook his head. His eyes stuck on my wrist. I could see him staring at my scar. I covered it with my other hand.

"Don't," I said.

"Sorry," I knew he didn't mean it for staring, he still blamed himself for what happened.

"How many times should I tell you that you didn't have anything to do with it?" I asked quietly.

He didn't reply. We continued sitting in silence. We heard rustling on our left, in the bush. We leaped to our feet and listened.

"Daryl, I don't have a weapon," I told him in a suppressed voice, nervously. He put his finger on his lips to indicate to stay silent, while he grabbed his knife with his other hand. I looked around and grabbed a log from the ground. That could keep walkers at bay at least and Daryl can kill them. We slowly walked to the noise. It was a walker indeed. Daryl took it out easily. I lowered my log and sighed silently. Suddenly, we saw light, we rushed to it quickly. It was Henry, we scared him. There was another walker, Daryl put it out.

"It's okay, Henry, just a walker," I whispered to him. He nodded.

"You should go back to camp, to watch out for Carol," he told me. I nodded and headed back. It wasn't that dark and we weren't so far, so I quickly got back to the camp. There wasn't anything strange. I sat back on my stump and watched out in every direction. Suddenly I heard dog barking. No! I hope he is not getting caught by walkers. I thought when Carol emerged from the tent.

"Where is Henry?" she asked demandingly.

"He's with Daryl," the barking sounded louder. Carol grabbed her bow and arrows.

"Let's go," she ordered and I followed her in the direction of the sounds.

When we finally got to see them, dog was in a trap and Daryl was lying on the ground between like eight walkers or so, I couldn't count them.

"Shoot!" I ordered Carol whispering. She was holding her arrow at aim but didn't shoot. "What are you waiting for?"

"He can do it alone," she said, still holding the arrow on target. When a walker almost got Daryl, Henry saved him. Carol lowered her bow. I let out a sigh, I didn't realize I was holding my breath. I glanced at Carol.

"Making your son bond with his new father?" I asked her teasingly.

"Shut up," she said smiling, rolling her eyes. We headed back to the camp and waited for them to return. Not so long after us, they emerged from the trees, Henry limping.

"I don't even want to know," said Carol. Henry looked innocently, he knew he shouldn't wander alone at night. In a couple of minutes, Carol and Henry climbed back into the tent. I was sitting by the campfire again with Daryl and dog. Dog finally got to eat his dinner, Daryl petted his head.

I felt like I shouldn't be there, with them. I should be on my way to Alexandria. I glanced at Daryl. There was no chance I could sneak away from him. And Carol would know immediately where to look for me. I had no chance.

We kept sitting there, silently. I got lost in thought.

Author's notes: Listen to "I'm a mess" by Bebe Rexha. Interpret the lyrics as Daryl doesn't love her, but she wants Negan's love. ❤

PS.: Also, I'm aware why dog's name is dog, but Quinn doesn't know about that. 😊

Thank You for reading! ❤