Sorry for taking so long to update. I've been busy with work, moving and graduating university, but here you go, your next installment! I made it slightly longer than the other chapters for you all to enjoy. Happy reading. xoxo, Regina.
It felt to Rachel as though the rest of the day dragged out for years. Every time she glanced up at the clock at the back of the class she would see that only a few minutes had passed, her anxiety rising each second as her thoughts spiralled, over-thinking every aspect of the sleepover to come. What if it was a prank? What if it /wasn't/ a prank? How was she going to sleep? She wouldn't be able to snuggle Mr Harrison through the night.. How would she be able to ensure her diaper went undetected? And she sure as hell was going to miss her goodnight bottle. Ever since she'd begun this, adult food just didn't appeal. She rarely ate, for both body reasons as well as baby reasons. It was just a plus that drinking only her bottles and every so often some fruit meant that she would lose weight which unbeknown to anyone, she desperately wanted.
Finally just as her anxieties were about to get the best of her the bell rang signalling the end of the school day. It was time. She had no time to worry any longer, her fears were upon her. The petite diva quickly collected her possessions from her locker before making her way to the school parking lot, where she was met with squeals and the tight embrace of one hyper blonde.
"I'm so excited, Rachie! We're gonna have so much fun! Aren't we Sanny? So much fun!"
Santana caught the brunettes gaze, her lips curling into an uncharacteristically friendly smile as she nodded.
"Sure, Britt-Britt. Now hop in the car, we need to get Rachels stuff."
Rachel didn't miss Santana using her name rather some horrid nickname, reassuring her slightly.. Maybe this wasn't a joke? She climbed into the back seat, the front seat having being taken by Brittany as Sanatna climbed into the drivers side.
"Would you like me to provide directions, Santana? I'm not sure if you know the route."
"No need, Berry. I know where you live." She flashed her a small grin in the rear view mirror as she pulled out of the parking lot, she was trying hard. She needed to show Rachel that she could be nice, that she did care about her. "Seat belts."
The Latina was correct, she knew exactly where Rachel lived, pulling up to her house before even five minutes were up.
"Do ya want us to come in with you, Berry?"
Rachel immediately shook her head, flashing each girl a wide grin, even if it was laced with undeniable nerves.
"No no, Santana, it's fine. I'll just grab a few things and be back in a matter of minutes."
Without another word, Rachel had undone her seatbelt and was walking up the path to her front door before the other girls could object. She quickly let herself inside, the house empty and silent as per usual. She used to resent her fathers for being away so often, but now that she'd found a means of escape, the ache in her heart had begun to ease a little. And anyway, if they were around more she wouldn't be able to release her inner Little ever again. And now that she'd started, it was just something that she could never give up. The petite diva make quick work of the stairs, taking them two at a time as she made her way to her room. The young brunette collected her favourite pyjamas, -white with tiny stars on the pant legs- her favourite bear, pacifier and a diaper. She didn't know if she would be able to use any of them, but the prospect of being without her favourite possessions made the pit of her stomach pool with nausea.
Once she'd finished packing her bag, which couldn't have taken more than ten minutes, give or take a couple where she paced the hall, trying to calm her nerves, Rachel quickly made her way back out to the waiting girls. She couldn't help the pleased smile that graced her lips when she realised they were still waiting there for her, relaxing a little more as she jumped into the car. Nothing bad had happened yet.. maybe this sleepover was legit.
"All ready, Berry?"
Santana glanced at her through the rear view mirror, not waiting for a response as she started up the car. The Latina just wanted to get home already. She was terrible at showing it, but she was rather excited about the night to come. She' was telling the truth when she told Rachel by the lockers that she wanted her at the sleepover too. It was a well known fact that Santana was not great at dealing with emotions, and it just so happened that the Latina's fondness for the Diva just so happened to be displayed through insults and slushie facials. But as soon as she'd noticed -with the help of the ever observant Brittany, of course- that Rachel was changing, more childlike, she couldn't help but ignore her feelings of adoration for the girl much longer. Hence, the request for a sleepover. They had to start somewhere, right? And what better way than a sleepover. She knew she probably wouldn't get to see little Rachie, her only glimpse of her having been in the bathrooms that one time when her bear was placed in her arms. But she was hopeful that with the help of Brittany, and some time spent together, she'd be able to earn the trust of both Rachel and Rachie.
Rachel spent the entire journey with her gaze out the window, deep in thought, only being pulled from her day dreams at the loud shrill squeal that came from Brittany in the front seat. "Rachie! We're here. We're here!"
She quickly unclasped her seatbelt, grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder before she was met with the warm smile coming from Santana herself as she opened the back door for her. "Thank you, Santana. That was awfully sweet of you."
Rachel dipped her head in a nod at the brunette once she'd stepped from the car, making sure to keep her bag on her person as they walked into the main entrance of Santana's apartment. The girls silently made their way up the three flights of stairs before Rachel finally parted her lips to speak once again.
"This is a very pleasant building, Santana. How long have you lived here for?"
Rachel was both nervous and trying to remain polite, which explained her uncharacteristically quiet behaviour as the girls entered the apartment.
"'Bout 8 months now, Rache. Ever since I came out to my parents. They thought it be best I lived someplace else, y'know?" She shrugged, feigning nonchalance as the Blonde skipped past them both, instantly flopping down onto the couch.
"Sannies place is awesome, Rachie. We can have so much fun here. And no parents to stop us!" She giggled, lifting her legs to lay across the couch, her palms tapping rhythmically on her flat stomach as the diva shuffled over to join her, perching on the arm of the couch.
"I've never really done the sleepover thing before. What do we do?"
Brittany just gave Rachel an incredulous blank stare, her words laced with shock.
"You've never been to a sleepover!?"
Rachel merely shook her head, flashing both girls a sheepish grin. "I've never been invited to one, my lack of friends and social status made that inevitable."
Santana's features flashed what looked like guilt before she quickly masked it with a smile, flopping down on the couch opposite the two girls.
"We watch movies, eat food, snuggle and just do whatever we like, Rae."
The girls began to do just that, starting with a joint trip to the kitchen so they could prepare the various snacks they required whilst they watched their selection of movies. They giggled and laughed together, Brittany playfully throwing a Cheeto into the latinas mouth as they filled the bowls with crisps and other essentials. Rachel couldn't help but feel at ease in this foreign environment, her anxiety and nerves soon dissipating after the fourth or fifth time Santana had called her by one of Brittany's preferred nickname for her. 'Rae'. She was beginning to believe that this was Santana's attempt to start again with the girl, a second chance per se. And Rachel Berry is known for her ability to give second chances, and so, she was determined to relax and have a memorable sleepover.
All was going well, they'd watched various comedy movies, each girl laughing happily at the jokes shared on screen. They were well and truly enjoying themselves, laying together under a shared blanket on the couch.
Rachel however could feel the time getting later and later, and she was itching to release her little and the restraint she was placing on herself was making her rather irritable.
"How about we watch a horror movie next!?"
Santana flashed a mischievous grin at her suggestion, eying both the girls. The mention of a horror movie immediately filled Rachel with dread. She hated those movies and Rachie hated them even more!
"D-do we have to, Santana? I'm not really a fan of horrors.."
Rachel's words left her lips with very little confidence and were met with the playful smirk of Santana.
"What's wrong, Rach, do they scare you?"
"Yes, Santana. I am not ashamed to admit that horror movies, which are purposely made to induce fear, scare me!" Rachel didn't mean to be so harsh with her words, but she could feel herself becoming defensive. She hated those movies and she didn't want to display fear in front of the girls. Especially without the comfort of her bear.
Santana, who was also known for becoming defensive at times, felt as though Rachel had purposefully shot down her idea.
"Fine, we'll stick to comedies, or maybe even cartoons." Santana sneered. "I forgot you were such a wimp, RuPaul."
Immediately Santana was filled with regret, she didn't mean to get so hurtful. It was her knee jerk response and she needed to work on it. "Rach.. I didn't mean that.. I'm sorry."
But Rachel didn't hear her, she'd already darted from the couch, tears stinging at her eyes.
Yes. She was over reacting, but she couldn't help it. It was a defence mechanism, she was regressing to hide from the hurt she felt at the Latinas words. Rachel knew as soon as her sobs escaped her lips, her arms wrapping tightly around her knees as she rocked herself in the corner of the bathroom that she had over reacted and undoubtedly outed herself to the one person who had made her come running in here in the first place.
"Stay here, Sanny. I'll get her."
Rachel heard Brittanys muffled words to Santana before there was a gentle tap on the bathroom door. "Rachie..?"
Silence. She clamped her palm over her trembling lips, trying to muffle her childlike sobs.
"Rachie? Sanny didn't mean to be mean. She just gets frustrated sometimes, she's trying to be nice though. She's trying.. Please open the door? It's just me."
Brittanys words seemed sincere, but then when wasn't Britt sincere? She was one of the most honest, kind and loving human-beings on the planet. She wouldn't harm a fly. And that was why Rachel began to slowly crawl toward the bathroom door, kneeling up to quickly unhook the latch before landing on her bottom once again.
Upon hearing the click of the latch, the blonde took that as her opportunity to enter the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to console the brunette. They had all been getting along, slowly beginning to encourage Rachel to relax, to make her believe that they wanted to be her friends until Santana had slipped up for a brief moment and sent them hurtling back a whole bunch of steps.
Brittany could barely conceal the adoring smile on her lips when she saw Rachel on the floor, sobbing away. It wasn't that she was enjoying Rachel being so clearly upset at the situation, it was the fact that 'Rachie' was letting herself be seen. Her guard had fallen and she'd retreated to the best way she knew how to comfort herself. Britt had known all along that Rachel was like her, but seeing the petite diva hugging her knees to her chest, whilst sobbing on the floor like a child had just confirmed her beliefs further. Anyone else would have blinked and froze at the absurdity of the situation, but it didn't phase the blonde at all. Her tall frame instantly dropping to the floor, pulling the tiny diva into her lap, her fingers beginning to soothingly stroke her hair.
"It's okay, Rachie." She brushed her lips to the top of the young girls head, slowly rocking the both of them.
"Try and breathe, babygirl. Dry those tears and let me see that pretty smile of yours."
Rachel, although in slight shock at Brittany's reaction, couldn't help but burrow into her embrace, wanting nothing more than the warmth and security than what the arms around her had made her feel. All Santana had said to her was slip up, calling her RuPaul rather than Rachel. It stung at her insecurities, and although Rachel was able to push the insult aside, Rachie, who had been begging to be released all night had other ideas, hence the resulting sobbing in the bathroom.
"Tana no like Rachie.." Rachels words escaping her lips through sobs -although, said sobs were beginning to quiet - as she hid her face against the blondes chest. She was well and truly little now, Rachel having left, deciding to deal with any backlash at her own outing of herself later on. "Tana wan' Rachie gone!"
Brittany once again couldnt help a faint smile when she heard the innocence in Rachels voice, she shook her head firmly before crooking a finger under the young girls chin to make her look at her. Her voice confident and serious as she eyed the brunette.
"Now, listen to me, RachieBear. Sanny doesn't want you to go. Wanna know a secret?" She leaned in to whisper in the young girls ear after the diva bobbed her head in a quick nod, having been distracted by the prospect of learning a secret.
"She wants us all to be friends. Like a family." Brittany grinned at Rachel as she watched the myriad of emotions flicker across the young girls features until she settled on one, her lips tugging into a timid smile.
"Sanny wan' be Rachie friend?"
Her eyes were wide and hopeful, wanting nothing more than to believe Brittany, and why shouldn't she? Brittany never lied. Brittany was a complete truth teller. So it must be true! She giggled quietly to herself, leaning further into the blondes embrace before a faint yawn escaped her lips. Her rush of emotions and little session of tears having tired her out.
"You're a sleepy Rachie." Brittany giggled, tapping the little ones nose before easily standing with her still in her arms. "How about we go finish watching the movie, huh?"
Rachel merely nodded as Brittany began to leave the confines of the bathroom, Rachels fingers gripping Britts shirt so she could cling. "I cuddle wif you thoughs?"
"Of course, Rachie. Can Sanny join too?"
Brittany bobbed her head toward the bedroom door after they left the ensuite, forcing Rachel to finally let her gaze land on the Latina who had been waiting there the whole time, her normally confident smirk replaced with an apologetic and anxious smile.
"Yeah, can I join the cuddles too, Rach?"
Rachel chewed her lip, thoughtful for a moment before quickly nodding, a faint giggle leaving her lips. Why not? "Cuddle times!"