Quinn, Hilltop

It felt like I had no tears left inside at all. I have wiped my face to prevent it freezing on me. I was just sitting, staring at the falling snow.

After a while, Carol approached me.

"I broke up with Ezekiel," she said in a matter-of-fact way. I looked at her as she sat next to me.

"Finally. At least you got to be with Daryl now."

"I'm not sure he wants to… but anyway. I wanted to apologize once more. I'm so sorry. I'm going to ask Michonne…"

"…to let me back to Alexandria. I know, Daryl said the same damn thing. I just got informed that Negan was even out of Alexandria and we could have met… I'm so angry right now…"

"I don't want to leave you here like this. We cannot know what's going to happen to us on the road… I don't want you to be angry with me."

"That's hopeful and positive."

"Realistic," she said sadly.

I let out a sigh.

"You're right. I don't want to be angry with you either… I don't want to be selfish. I'll wait for you to make the council vote and come get me."

"We will get you back to Alexandria. I'll get you back to Negan. I promise," she said.

"It's strange to hear it from you."

"I know. But… Judith seemed really convinced about him. And she knows him better than any of us."

"He was always nice… it's just the apocalypse turned him into something else."

Carol nodded, took my hand, and smiled at me.

"I don't want to be away from Daryl anymore… I get it how you feel about Negan. And I promise, if you're still in love with him, I will help you get back to him."

"Promises… I got a lot of them lately. None of it happened yet. I'm sorry, for being a jerk like this. I know people and survival is the most important thing right now. I don't want to be selfish. I just can't hold back my feelings. I still love Negan and I'm really angry that I missed the chance to meet with him when he got out. I'm also angry because everyone I care about will be at Alexandria and I have to stay here."

"I know, honey," she said and hugged me, I buried my face into her shoulder. "I know, it's hard, but I'll try to get you back to Alexandria. And don't forget that Eugene is working on the radio, we might be able to talk at least."

I backed away from Carol.

"But you won't let me talk to Negan…"

"We don't even know if it's going to work," Carol said, dodging the question.

"We're talking about Eugene, if someone can make it work, it's him."

We fell silent for a moment and watched the snow falling gently. It remained and became more visible on the ground.

"You know…" she started. "I think Ezekiel suspects something about Daryl. He talked to him. Just the two of them."

"What did they talk about?"

"I have no idea. Wish I knew. Probably about me."

"Hah," I sniffed.

"I didn't want to hurt Ezekiel," she said quietly.

"I know. But you are the one who has to decide whom you want to be with, not Ezekiel. The only thing for him is to accept your decision."

"Yeah. I hope he doesn't get too sad. And I hope he leaves Daryl alone about it."

"I'm sure Daryl knows how to handle it," I said, smiling.

"Does he?" she asked, we chuckled.

"Nope. He has no idea. I'm not even sure he will get it, what Ezekiel talks about."

"That's more like him."

"Do you want me to keep an eye on Ezekiel?"

"If it's not much trouble," she said, nodding.

"Alright. He had a heart-to-heart with Michonne, I think he's fine. But I'll do it if you want. If Eugene manages to get the radio going, call me immediately."

"Will do," she smiled.

She stood up and moved a little bit.

"It's freezing out here. Let's go inside," Carol said and we headed back to the main hall.

…

Early morning, they were already set to leave. I stood at the gate to say goodbye to them. I thought they are going to stay here, and yet they are all going to Alexandria, even Jesus. I'll stuck here with Ezekiel, he is the only one I know now.

I shook my head, I was hurting on the inside. I said goodbye to Henry and Lydia, then Michonne came to me.

"We didn't have much time to talk, but it's good to see you, Quinn," she smiled.

"Good to see you too."

"I know you want to come with us, but I can't let you. I'm still sorry about Negan," she started it out of the blue. "We will have a discussion about it later."

"Alright. I got used to it… kind of…" I said sadly. "I still hope that I could go back to Alexandria and be with him…"

"We will see about that."

Michonne hugged me, guilt all over her face. She said goodbye, then Jesus approached me.

"I'm sorry Quinn, I should have told you. I might not get another chance to be with Aaron," he said in a suppressed voice, he didn't want anyone to hear his secret, then he continued in a normal voice. "At least I'm not afraid to leave you, because you became a pretty good fighter."

"We barely started practicing…" I said gloomily.

"Yeah, but you will get even better on your own. I showed you how to practice. You will be just fine."

"Thank you," I smiled at him sadly. He hugged me tightly, then left. Daryl stepped to me next.

"Will you be okay?" he murmured.

"I don't have any choice, so I must be… You shouldn't bother with me. Just do what's the most important right now. Keep everyone safe and try to survive this freezing winter."

He nodded and hugged me too. He bade farewell, then Carol came. She opened her mouth to talk, but I interrupted her.

"I know. You're gonna try to get me back to Alexandria. Okay."

She smiled sadly.

"Sorry," she said.

I waved it off and hugged her.

"Be careful"

"You too."

She let go of me and joined Daryl to head out.

I watched them walk away, I saw Ezekiel do the same. I approached him.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hi," he said with a faint smile, but I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"So, it's just the two of us now," I said.

"Yeah," he said while staring at people's backs, leaving us.

"I'm sorry about the Kingdom. If I can do anything for you, just ask."

"That's very kind of you. Thank you."

I nodded silently, he smiled at me, then he headed back to the main hall. I stayed and watched the crowd disappear in the distance. The snow kept falling. I let out a sigh and headed after Ezekiel.

I was so frustrated and disappointed…

Because of Negan and because my friends left me here. All of them…

…

Author's notes: Listen to "Through the rain" by Mariah Carey.

Thank You for reading! ❤