The doctor, when Dusty arrived back home, said that he could offer her some medicine to manage the pain but what would really help her heal was rest. Rest for the concussion, which had to be monitored so it didn't turn into any sort of brain bleed. Rest for the ribs, which would heal in time and hadn't (luckily) punctured any lungs. Rest for the foot, which had broken in one spot and wasn't all that bad considering, but it was swollen to high hell and she needed to stay off of it to make sure it healed properly. So because of all that, missions including her were strictly prohibited.
She was laid up in Tool's garage, staring up at ceiling and thinking about Lee and that day where they saved each other over and over again. It was stupid, she thought, how he had pretty much walked away without any issues but she was out of work for weeks.
She heard the door close and sat up, squinting against the light and the movement. The concussion was starting to fade away, but some things were still worse than others.
"Waiting around to see if Barney will let you in on anything?" Lee teased, shoving his helmet and keys down on the table with a rattle. He was in his leather jacket, his hands stuffed in the pockets as he made his way over to her.
"I needed a change of scenery," she said with a sigh. "It's lonely and dull in my apartment."
He chuckled, moving around the couch and sitting down beside her. "How's everything holding up?"
"Fine, I guess," she said. "Head doesn't hurt as bad. Ribs feel a lot better. My foot is- well, it sucks. But it's better than yesterday and probably worse than tomorrow."
"All good things," he said, sinking into the couch.
"What's up with you?" She asked, a little bit concerned. He glanced over and considered something for a minute, and then turned his attention towards his feet.
"My girlfriend," he said, shaking his head and trying to laugh it off. "It's just drama, I guess. I'm never around enough, or it's something I do while I am around. It gets frustrating."
She shrugged. "Did you tell her that?"
He looked over at her and chuckled a little. "No, I didn't tell her that."
"Then why are you telling me instead?" She asked, shoving him a little. "You gotta talk to her, not somebody else. That is, if you wanna make it work."
"Or are you giving me rotten advice because you're head over heels for me?" He teased, raising an eyebrow.
She rolled her eyes, and laid back down on the couch, her legs curled up so they wouldn't touch his.
"I don't give rotten advice," she said. "What're you gonna do when you don't have me to bounce your ego off of?"
He looked over at her and frowned. "You skipping town?"
She focused on the ceiling again, blinking a few times to clear her head. "Well," she started with a sigh, shifting slightly. "A little while ago, Barney offered me this job. It would be just me, and it'd probably last a little while. A couple months, maybe. And just, you know, after all this… I think maybe it'd be for the best. For everyone, you know. Not just for me."
Lee furrowed his brows and looked down at her, curled up on the couch and staring at the ceiling. He suddenly felt guilty, like he hadn't done enough to make her feel like part of the team.
"You don't like it here?" He asked.
"It's not that," she said. "I think I was made to do this job. But, I don't know, Barney said that maybe some more experience would make me feel more comfortable in the field with everybody. Or… you know, make everybody else feel more comfortable with me."
There was a heavy silence between them. She didn't want to tell Lee that a big part of the reason why she was considering taking the job was because of him. He was a good enough guy, and they got along fine most of the time. She didn't even mind the jokes he made about her having a little crush on him, mostly because they were harmless and relatively true. But after everything she heard him say after the arrow and tank incident, and after this last mission where he had to carry her out because she was too hurt to walk, she didn't feel like she was on par with the rest of the guys. Nobody else really complained about much, but she didn't wanna be the reason anyone got hurt.
"A couple months?" He asked eventually.
"Yeah, something like that. It's not too long I don't think," she said.
He turned to her, and she sat up to look at what he was doing.
"Are you gonna be good by yourself?" He asked.
She looked at him, a bit of anger bubbling up in her chest. "Yeah. I'll be fine. You don't think so?"
"It's not that," he sighed, shaking his head. "I just mean, it's hard for anybody to jump into a long assignment, especially when it's solo."
"I don't need you to worry about me, Lee," she said, shaking her head. "I'm just being brutally honest here. No matter how much you think I'm hopelessly in love with you, I just… I don't need you to worry about me. I don't think Barney would offer it if-"
"I'm not saying it because I think you need me to worry about you. And it's not that I think less of you because of whatever you may or may not feel. I don't know, I guess it's just… I was getting used to having you around."
She swallowed, and looked down to her lap. "It didn't sound that way before."
He watched her, his hand twitching towards hers for a minute before he stopped himself. "I think you're plenty capable. And I think you have things to learn, but you don't have to ship yourself off to learn them."
She pressed her lips together into a flat smile and looked up at him. "I already told Barney yes."
He stared at her for a moment before he nodded, turning his attention to the wall across from them both. There wasn't anything he could say to change her mind, and there wasn't anything she could say to make anything better.
When she was better, all the guys saw her off when she left for the solo mission. Caesar, Gunner, and Toll all gave her big, lift-her-off-the-ground-and-shake-her hugs.
"Come back in one piece, you hear me?" Caesar said, planting a kiss to the top of her head. "It won't be the same around here without you anymore."
He ruffled her hair and she smiled, turning to Barney and Lee. After a second of looking her over, Barney pulled her into a big hug. She wrapped her arms up under his and closed her eyes, suddenly feeling a bit afraid. She didn't wanna let it show.
"You'll be fine, kid," he said, pulling away and nodding at her.
"Of course I will," she said, smiling. "But how will you be without me?"
"I think we'll find a way to manage, somehow," he said, laughing a bit. He gave her a pat on the shoulder and she nodded to him.
She turned to Lee and offered him a smile. He smiled back, and she could tell from his eyes darting around that everyone was watching. She felt her face get hot, more from embarrassment than anything, and suddenly just wanted to run.
"It's been good," she said, drawing in a deep breath and making to turn from Lee.
"Hey, wait," he said, pouting, "where's my hug?"
She turned back to him and raised an eyebrow. "Who has the crush on who now, huh?"
He chuckled, reaching out and pulling her into a tight hug. She closed her eyes and held her breath, sinking into him a bit.
"See you when its done," he said, pulling away and looking her over. "Don't get beat up too bad. I won't be there to save your ass."
"And I won't be there to save yours," she teased.
He shrugged, and she turned away from them and headed towards the chopper that was waiting for her. Before you got on she turned back one last time, waving to them all as they watched her go, hands in their pockets.
The helicopter took off and she watched them all get smaller and smaller until she could no longer see them. She knew she was onto bigger and better things for now, but something in her gut didn't sit right with her. She tried to push it off, knowing that the faster she got it all done, the faster she could come back and forget it ever happened.
It would be fine. Just a couple months. Her and her bow. That's all she really needed, wasn't it?
—-
Everyone was sitting in a circle, a few of the lamps between flickering to keep them warm. Dusty shuddered and tucked her hands away in her jacket while she focused on the flames.
"So I'm out there, and my buddy goes to cover for me, but that son of a bitch gets a lucky shot out and he goes down next to me, his shoulder bleeding. He's screaming like a motherfucker, right, because he really wasn't expecting that. So I gotta back up and help him get back too, because he's freaking out. Meanwhile, the guy we wanted to get wasn't even there. Cops had picked him up that same day for some stupid misdemeanor."
The guys were sharing stories from their lives before the Expendables, and some from their lives during. Some of them Dusty had heard before, and she was sure the guys recognized most of them at this point. She usually didn't participate in those talks, because most of her stories involved them or her year away from them. Either way, she wasn't huge on it all- talking about it, that is.
"Reminds me a little of a run in I had with these Russian guys once," Gunner said, pointing around the group with his blade. "I was young. Younger than Dusty over there, even."
"That jokes getting old, just like you, Gunner," she spat, and the other guys laughed.
"Well, anyway," Gunner continued, "guy I was working for said he just wanted intel to use for blackmailing this other guy. The money was good, so I said fine, whatever. Me and my partner are staking out this place, and out of nowhere, we hear this screaming. We turn around, and some chick that was living in their camp had found us. We shot out of there like two bats out of hell, got maybe half a mile away before they started shooting at us."
Caesar nudged him with a laugh.
"What about you, Dusty?" Gunner asked.
She shrugged. "You guys know all my stories."
"Not everything," Toll added.
Lee looked over to her, curious. Barney just sat back and listened.
She adjusted herself and rubbed her hands together for warmth, looking over the group once more before she focused back down on the lamps. She sighed.
"You know what they do to those women?" She asked, glancing up at Gunner.
The group went quiet. They all seemed to sit back, holding their breath.
"Because I do," she said. Her voice shook a little, but she drew in a breath and tried to shake it off. "I know what they do to them. They're probably doing it right now, to whatever women they took from this village. I've seen it. I saw it, really, that year I was gone. All the time. They take them, usually by force, and they keep them until they get tired of them, they get sick, or they kill themselves."
The mood had changed drastically. The light air around the group was replaced by something darker and heavier. She could feel Lee's eyes especially boring into her skin.
"I was there, uh, with a friend, right? We're going for a walk one night, and we hear these guys tormenting these women. It got to the point that we couldn't just sit around and do nothing. I wanted to cause a distraction, you know, to at least get them out for a little. Give the women a break. But she- well, she wanted to just run in there and make them stop. She made it about five feet from the door when a guy walked up and caught her. He hit her pretty hard and then dragged her into that room. I heard the shot go off, but, uh… It wasn't her. They didn't kill her. They made her watch, though. They tied her up, pulled her towards the ceiling, and made her watch. Then they shot them all, and she just stayed there. She told me all of it when I went to get her down."
The guys couldn't even look to her. They rested their eyes on the ground by their feet, awkwardly shifting. Barney chanced a glance up at her, but her eyes were lost in the flames, emptily reflecting them.
"I don't have a lot of funny stories," she said. "Not to point out the obvious, but, uh, I'm a woman. It's a shit business to be in sometimes. Like that guy in the bar. I wanted to punch the shit out of him."
Lee had even let his eyes drop from her. Barney turned his eyes up and looked right at her, brows furrowed and twisted.
"Sorry for the buzzkill, boys," she said, standing up and dusting herself off. "You asked."
Gunner glanced up at her and she shrugged, turning towards the darker parts of the barn to try and find a place to rest for the night. Nothing seemed particularly appealing.
After a little while the guys started chatting again, though mostly about their plans for this job and whatnot. Story time was over, and she didn't really feel bad about ending it.
Barney walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump. She turned to him, eyebrows raised.
"Jeez, Barney, you scared me," she said. "You shouldn't go sneaking up on people in the dark."
He looked down at her and she shrunk under his gaze.
"You know, I knew a bit about that job," he said, searching her face. "I didn't know of any other young woman working there with you."
She looked up at him, forcing a sad smile up onto her cheeks. He studied her, shaking his head. She didn't say anything, and he didn't either. She didn't need words in that moment. He understood perfectly, and she didn't care to explain any further. She watched his breath fog around his lips and nostrils, fading out into the freezing air, dissipating into the darkness.
"We should all sleep closer together. Keep each other warm," he said after a few minutes. She looked away from him, finally, and nodded.
She curled up next to the lamps, toying with bits of dried hay on the ground until she managed to fall asleep, too tired- thankfully- to dream.
—-
At some point in the night, Lee shifted over to her and shook her awake. She groaned, but he hushed her and she sat up and found his eyes, tired and confused.
"What time is it?"
"It doesn't matter," Lee said, looking her up and down. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Why? Did something happen?"
He reached out and tucked some of her hair behind her ears, smiling sadly. "Your story. I didn't know."
She shrugged. "It was a while ago."
"Still," he said, and after a second he pulled her into his lap and she tensed.
"Lee-" she tried, but he just wrapped his arms around her and rocked her slightly.
"It's fine," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Can I just hold you for a second?"
She let out a breath and nodded, sinking into his chest. Her eyelids were heavy and she was exhausted.
"How come you never told anybody any of that?" He asked, his voice just a whisper in the whistling wind.
"It's not a fun story," she said, her voice even lower than his. "It's a shit story, really. Most of my stories from that year are pretty shit."
He held her a little bit tighter and dropped his face to the crook of her neck.
"If that guy looks at you funny again, I'll snap his neck," he said.
She pulled away from him and took his face in her hands, shaking her head. "I can deal with it. It's alright."
"You shouldn't have to," he tried.
"But yet I do," she said, glancing around to make sure everyone was still asleep. She placed a quiet, gentle kiss to his lips and sighed into him. He did the same.
"Let's go back to sleep before we wake everyone up," she said, pulling herself away from him. He frowned.
"I'm staying here," he said, laying down next to her.
She shrugged and turned to look at the lamps, which were dying down a bit. Lee's fingers traced her back, and she was too tired to say anything about it. She just let herself fall back asleep, listening to the wind whistle outside the barn, a siren song for nightmares.