THE EXPERIMENT
Rating - T
A/N - This will be a very strange inaccurate yet funny as hell story. This is an experimental piece of writing by my best friend Mags who doesn't watch Due South and only knows what she does by being forced to listen to me drabble on about it. She wrote it as a good bye present as I'm going to Cambodia for 2 months, I was supposed to fill in the blanks and correct the mistakes but I thinks it's great as is, and the mistakes just add to the humour of it all and I hope you will all review her as it would be very special for her and I think she deserves some for coming up with such a brilliant pressie for me.
It was just another day in the Canadian mountie's life---walk the wolf-mmmm---pair up with ray santini Mmmmmmm (in more than one sense of the word—but dear readers Frasier knows nothing about this yet so shhhhhhh)-catch a few bad guys, and get the girl ewwwwwww I mean mmmmmmmmm—oopsa daisie did anyone here that, no I'm good phewwwwww—however what the hunk of smouldering loveliness with the sweet temper of a fluffy little kitten (sorry reader but in Scotland Frasier would be grade A Scottish beef in a kilt) didn't know was that this day was to be like no other his unsoddamised soul had ever faced before.
As he approached the precinct he longed to see the smile which brightened up this cruel world (wolf name here don't know it) (got you reader didn't I you thought I was gonna say ray didn't you—well no) it was a very different part of anatomy Frasier longed to see when he thought of ray—it was in his nether regions plump and firm to the touch (really what a bunch of perverts you are reader I was referring to his ass okay—some people need to be locked up). As he was 'firmly' focused on this area, he glanced up and saw ray giving a smile—he truly was a 'ray' of sunshine in frasiers life (I know predictable and sad thought to enter frasiers head but hey we get a little cheesy when we fancy the pants of someone—and boy does Frasier wanna get into those police registered pants—but he doesn't know this yet so shhhhh, I told you before, you'll ruin it)---
Dialogue, suggestion to be fit in
Frasier-leans into him as they are looking over/discussing a file---jees you look good today
Ray says what?
He snaps to his senses—bees they're migrating today—its bee season -us Canadian Mountie's are well versed in…bee migration—says this awkwardly as ray just looks at him
Going to car ray says-'your shoulders are so broad I really wanna get into those pants
Frasier wat?---my sister in laws abroad in France….bastard!1(as if why did I say that-but Frasier takes it the wrong way)
—Frasier—'let me get this straight ray—your saying to me your very moral friend that your sister in law is a bastard'
No I mean who would call their sister in law a bastard… I mean give me some credit Frasier
'Then who is the bastard this time ray'
Thinks for a min then it comes to him—the French of course yeah that's it those French bastards dragged her outa a toilet
Oooookkkayyy, someone needs some coffee, and decalf—touching his shoulder and patting him like a child
As ray leans embarrassed with his head against the dashboard Frasier says – 'and ray'
Ray in a mumble cause head still pressed against dashboard says 'mmmmm'
This is Canada, I don't know if you know this but there are a load of people that call themselves French Canadian so you might meet some French people if you happen to go into the bathroom in the starbucks and a French person skips you try to think happy thoughts okay
Ray---just drive Frasier—(if this aint set in Canada cause it might not be then change it to—if I take you to Canada one day ray---just incase I got it wrong)
Next scene---Dana this is all yours an idea I came up with was they get trapped in the under passage section of a boat—in a drug bust gone wrong—they are tied up and eventually boat starts to sink---you know the rest confess their feelings---blah blah then…………..
As they stared at one another each knowing the truth of the others feelings, not being alone anymore yet so far apart—the door burst open and they were saved (in more ways than one dear reader but it did not feel like that at the time—it felt like as the klingons would say—a good day to die—they had lived for the very first time in that second the words of unbridled passion forced themselves from their trembling lips—but how would they live in the seconds minutes months and years to follow this revelation of biblical proportions (well I know its getting serious dear reader and your thinking god this bitch is gonna stop them from getting it on—well wrong again as wink wink I know that they spent their seconds talking to police sergeant , their minutes driving to rays apartment—and their hours engaged in the most shocking of physical activity (but shhhhhh dear reader cause Frasier is thinking of running back to straight town just now—he still doesn't know what he's about to do—ray will make it all too aware too him very soon heheh)
If you want after this add your sordid scenes in that you like---
The idea of the mmmmmm's at the start is walk the wolf mmmmmm (so what big deal like its nothing)
second mmmmmmmm (like homer drooling over a doughnut lol)