Quinn, Hilltop

I was preparing to go to sleep, just when Ezekiel knocked on my door.

"Quinn, Eugene's on the radio. He wants to talk to you."

"Oh? Thank you for letting me know," I said and followed Ezekiel. He nodded good night and turned around the corner to his room. I continued my way to the radio.

"Hi, Eugene, I'm here," I said while pressing the button.

"Hi, Quinn," his voice was hoarse, he sounded weary.

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah, well, we managed to clear out the remaining walkers."

"That's good to know," I felt like there was something more to it. "Are you okay?"

There was a moment of silence.

"I had a fight with Rosita. She told me we are never going to be a couple," he growled in his low voice. I exhaled sharply.

"I'm so sorry, Eugene."

"You know… I was hoping for so long… She was just tired and I annoyed her, so she spoke the truth."

I remembered how I got rejected by Daryl, suddenly everything came back to me. I was hoping for him for years too…

"I know it's hard, but you should try to let her go. You can still be friends like you used to. It's easier if you find someone else, who takes away your attention."

"I guess so… Harder done than said."

"I completely agree. I was lucky to find Negan."

"About that… There's something you should know."

"About Negan?"

I heard Eugene let out a huge sigh.

"Carol and Daryl lied to you. Actually, half of Alexandria has been lying to you for years… Including myself."

I was just stunned. I had no idea what he was talking about. I gasped for air, my heart started racing.

"Is he… is he dead?" I breathed heavily.

"No, he is fine, alright. You are dead."

I frowned my eyebrows, my heart slowed down a little.

"What? How would I be dead? What are you talking about?"

"When you attempted suicide… Daryl told Negan that you died. He wanted to prevent Negan from wanting to escape to find you."

My breathing became heavier and my heart started pounding again.

"Is this true?" I asked quietly. "Daryl… how could he? And Carol knew about it?!" I became louder as I talked.

"Everyone knew about it… We all knew. Only after Daryl told him the lie, of course, no one had any influence on the events. I am so sorry. I don't deserve your comforting words, because I deceived you too."

I didn't know what to say.

"He thinks I'm dead?" I said quietly, taken aback, tears stinging my eyes.

"Yes."

Eugene was waiting patiently for me to digest what I heard and answer.

"I have to go to Alexandria. I have to let him know that I'm not!... So that's why Carol sounded so strange! That's why she said Negan would be upset if I went back to Alexandria!"

"Michonne didn't want to risk it. Negan would go crazy if he knew we all lied to him. It's dangerous," Eugene tried to explain, but I was furious.

"I'm about to go crazy too! How could you?! And why on earth Daryl would do such a thing?!"

"He hates Negan that much. And as I said, he wanted to prevent him from breaking out to find you."

I exhaled furiously.

"But that's… that's just stupid and unacceptable and a fucking asshole thing to do!"

"You have every right to be mad," he sounded genuine and sad.

"Why are you telling me this? Why now?" I asked while my heart was pounding in my ears.

"I got tired of lying and playing games. You have the right to know. And even though I have nightmares of that specific night… what I mean is… I don't intend to stand in your way. It's your business with Negan, no one else should stop you anymore."

I was still breathing heavily. Eugene was waiting for my reply.

"Eugene… I need some time. I have to go," I wanted to escape, I had to breathe... I needed air.

"Sure. I hope you'll forgive me," he said in a voice that I felt sorry for him, but my anger was stronger.

"Quinn!" Jerry interrupted us, he came running. "We need your help! A tree fell and crushed the wall!"

"Perfect fucking timing," I said angrily.

"A tree crushed the wall?" asked Eugene concerned.

"I have to go," I said and signed off. I hurried outside with Jerry.

…

I lifted up a piece of the wall, while Jerry pulled a woman from under it. As everyone was busy helping the injured and blaming the whisperers, I glanced at Ezekiel. He was so spaced out, more than usual. I knew that look. Something really deep was going on.

"Let's go outside! We have to stop the horde!" yelled Magna. She, Yumiko, Connie, Kelly, and Luke headed outside to kill walkers. I glanced at Ezekiel one more time, then I followed them outside. I tried to keep an eye on Ezekiel, but I couldn't do anything about him. I didn't keep an eye on him because Carol asked me. I did it because I could sense that something was off about him. He was avoiding me and now I had to leave him. Not that I could do anything for him, he never opened up for me.

We were fighting walkers off in the middle of the night, I could barely see anything. I didn't really mind killing walkers as I was furious. Thoughts were racing inside my head. With every stab, I thought about letting out all my anger.

Daryl told Negan I was dead. Negan probably mourned me and got over me long ago. He continued on with his life and I'm not a part of it anymore. I could explode. I wanted to run to Alexandria immediately and head straight to Negan's cell and face him, tell him: Hey, I'm alive!

I didn't realize my tears were falling as I was stabbing walkers in the head endlessly.

…

Alexandria

Negan was happy with his new job, tending to plants, hanging laundry, taking out the trash. He was in peace.

Even though Henry told Lydia to stay away from Negan, she continued visiting him. Some bullies targeted her for what her mother did. She was devastated. Henry didn't understand her, but Negan did.

Unfortunately, Daryl found out about her visits too and he lectured her about Negan. She told her the same thing she said to Henry, that Negan understands her.

At Michonne's house Daryl, Carol, Michonne, Judith, RJ, Henry, and Lydia was about to have dinner when Eugene banged on the door.

"I'll check," said Daryl. Everyone at the table looked at the door curiously. Daryl let in a weary Eugene who hurried to the table.

"I just talked to Quinn. A tree fell and Hilltop's wall was crushed by it. I want to go to help them," he stated. Michonne nodded and gathered herself.

"I'm going with you," she said wiping her mouth. Daryl stood up as well.

"Me too," said Judith and leaped to her feet to go get her sword. Michonne looked at Eugene.

"Is there something else?" she asked.

"I told Quinn that you lied to Negan about her death," said Eugene simply.

"You did what?!" Carol sprang to her feet. Every eye in the room fell on him.

"She deserves to know, she suffered enough," said Eugene.

"Alright, it's a shock, but we should deal with Quinn's personal life later. Hilltop needs us," said Michonne and went to grab her sword too.

"I guess I shouldn't go to Hilltop now…" mumbled Daryl and sat back in his chair.

"You better not. She's going to tear your head off," said Eugene. Carol was speechless. Daryl glanced at her.

"She hates me…" said Carol quietly.

"Why did you even do this?" asked Henry curiously.

"Daryl wanted Negan to suffer," said Carol casually, like it was the most obvious thing one would do to Negan.

Everyone was spaced out, deep in thoughts, when Lydia leaped to her feet and ran outside.

"Where is she going?" Carol frowned her eyebrows.

"She is going to tell Negan," said Daryl and wanted to hurry after her, but Carol stopped him.

"Maybe it's time."

"Did you forget what Michonne said? We can't have Negan going crazy right now," said Daryl and left to go after Lydia.

"He is right," said Michonne to Carol. "I hope he prevents it. I don't want to come back to Negan's frenzy."

Carol exhaled sharply and started cleaning the table.

Michonne, Judith, and Eugene said goodbye to Carol, Henry, and RJ and they headed immediately to Hilltop.

…

Author's notes: Listen to "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks.

Thank You for reading! ❤