A home in your arms…
A Cloud and Tifa fanfiction
-by Amaranthos-
Note: Sarah Mclachlan lyrics are used.
'Sometimes all we ever needed was a shoulder to cry upon, or a smile to get through the day, but sometimes, like many times, we throw those opportunities away and as they pile up in our minds, the barrier to communicate is often too much to bear. So we run away and turn our backs on the people we love and try to find solace in ourselves.
And solace like warm breeze in winter is rare, so we wait and tire ourselves day after day, until we grow old under the sun and stars until one day, we die.
But sometimes, we can learn to take one step back and not two steps forward. We can turn around at any point in our lives and stop drifting into a future that we force ourselves to walk.
'I know you don't want to come home and face the burdens of your past my love' she stares out the window. Eyes lost on the grey world. The rain falls in diagonal streaks and bangs repeatedly against her window pane.
'If you would only turn around my love, you would see that the people who love you are calling for you to come home'
And like so many times of looking into the West for a stranger who just one day might come home, it appeared as if 'I hope too much'
As usual she berates herself for loving something enigmatic and pre-loved. She can't help the fact she was drawn to him, but she guessed, she could have controlled her emotions for the man she loved.
'And like a little girl, I allowed myself to become vulnerable to all that passes me by, including you Cloud Strife. I find myself always locked into the deep sorrow of my heart when I say your name or even think of you. I can't help that I'm weak…and maybe insane over you.'
'You started with good intent, and our love was raw and young with just friendship as its key, but we changed ourselves and allowed the past to become undone. Yet, burdened from our past, time reveals that there is no sin greater than the lonely light of morning and the wound that would never heal. It's a bitter taste of losing everything…that we fight so hard to keep…'
'I've kept you in me - in my heart to never fade as you thought you did to her. I know you miss her and it's for that reason you left me behind…so you could atone for the love of your life and it hurts Cloud. It always hurts. Time is now…the moment you have the opportunity to seize my heart…then seize it. But all that means nothing, seems something as it destroys me. Shadows that move across my walls keep me company but they don't ask of it. Sometimes even I'm so scared to ask if I'm living or dead.'
And coming home is not his only fault…it's the way he wishes to forget everything.
'Why don't you see it Cloud? Why don't you see that every time I look at you the world melts away and all my troubles, all my fears dissolve in who you are. I've seen you at your weakest my love, but I'll take you as you are and when you fall, don't worry, I'll offer you a softer place to land. I promise I'll be good and hold the line to keep us together…'
And revelations and realizations are cold but being unloved is colder. There's nothing like waking up alone, or seeing photographs collect dust on a windowsill. There's nothing more hurtful than having to hold yourself from the cold and blowing out your birthday candles only to know the wish you held in your heart can never come true. The pain is excruciating just knowing your fight to have love can never be won especially when the man you love doesn't return what is to be reciprocated.
Tifa exits the bar and locks it behind her. The rain immediately drenches her in its heavy downpour. Tifa sighs. Turning around she begins walking with no outerwear to protect her from the biting cold rain.
'Its not the first time that I have no one to stand with and though I'm selfish to say it, I really thought happiness would one day come, but like a dreamer I am…I was wrong'
Tifa takes a few steps into her yard, standing there, just all alone, feeling the spears of rain beat upon her as the relentless wind blows at her in hollow tunes of ice. The vision of romance can be cruel when there's no one to love you back, but its okay, thought Tifa.
'It has to be…I'm still alive from the torture, right?'
Looking up at the sky, she could see grey crying clouds and feeling like the world was resting on her shoulders, she did something she hadn't done in a long time. She cried…
"I cried for you…I waited for you…and I still am Cloud…"
Unknown to her, lurking in the shadows behind the tree of her front yard was a pair of eyes that she knew. The figure listens to her delicate cry and wants so much to wipe every tear away, but the mistakes he's made and the lives he's caused to hate him, makes him feel even smaller. He had lost so much already and not wanting to lose the most important thing to him, he walks forward.
He tries to be quiet as he listens to the testimonials of Tifa.
"And all I ever wanted" she breathed and cried… "I ever wanted" she repeated…
Cloud cringes at her statement knowing what she was about to say. Moving in on her, he places his hands around her waist and whispers in her air, "was you"
Tifa gasps. Turning she feels his arms around her and his warm breath on her wet skin.
"You came back?"
He nods.
"Is it too late Tif" he paused to turn her toward him so he could stare forever into her abysmal burgundy eyes "for a second chance at a home with the kids…and you?" he asked almost hopefully and pathetically.
Tifa sobbed. Why did those words pain her to hear? Did she wait so long that she felt that she could never hear them, and now it was too real to bear?
Perhaps…
She sobbed, holding him dear to her. All she wanted was his proximity and the words to echo in her mind, forever…and ever.
"Tifa, you're crying" he pulled her back to observe her tear-tracked face.
Her eyes watered, "I've waited so long Cloud Strife, to hear those words. Come here you big jerk" she paused, "I'm happy Cloud – to finally hear those words…how I've waited for this day"
"Tifa no koishii (my sweetheart Tifa)"
Holding her under the grey skies of the heaven…Tifa could tell that the future, no matter how gloomy it is at times, still has hope…and as long as we have some…we'll find some comfort and find ourselves somehow in the arms of those we love…
After all,
"A promise is a promise" Cloud says…
Owari - the end