A/N: Surprise update! (Although I suppose nowadays, any kind of update from me comes as a surprise) Few quick notes! For any followers of my other works... yeeah sorry I haven't updated them in a while yet either. I have been doing a lot of writing and I hope to be even more creatively productive next year. Current plan is to finish the Plomplemoof Arc of Kew-Kew, and then dive right back into Black and White... aaaaaaarguably the fic most people actually want me to work on :P There's a bunch of half-finished semi-drabbles in between and I do have a lot of Harlapple to post up. I make no promises regarding consistency though.
Other minor note! I've spent a lot of time improving my art these past few years and can now boast a Deviantart gallery with up-to-date art! Same username as here, there's a lot of Rolf and Kew-Kew because I love them.
Hope you enjoy the new chapter, fair warning things get a liiiiiiiittle bit Kew-Kew here and there x3
Stuck between Kew-Kew and the immense boulder he called a door, Rolf was left pondering the mysteries of the universe. Mostly he wondered what madness had possessed Margaret the day she had brought Kew-Kew home.
When he tired of contemplating things beyond his understanding, Rolf tried to work on his escape route. Kew-Kew was far too unpredictable for the mouse's liking but (as he had correctly guessed) the boulder was immovable no matter which way he pushed at it. He tried pulling at it to rock (here intellectual readers will snort upon noticing the atrocious pun) it to and fro. He tried shoving at it, first with his paws and then with his back. He even tried taking a running start but that only served to wind him.
Defeated, Rolf flumped to the ground, wondering what would become of him. Presumably Kew-Kew would eventually let him out regardless of his success with the boulder. But that was an 'eventually' Rolf didn't have the time or the patience to wait for, especially considering the sour note he'd left Ralph on. As much as the rat irritated him, Rolf still felt the bubbles of guilt brewing within him. Everybeast larger than him pushed and shoved him around anyways, so it was not something he had any right to hold Ralph alone accountable for.
"He still didn't have to hit so hard," Rolf grumbled, kicking at a stray straw.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Robin Merriweather was probably the only beast in the area having a worse morning than Rolf. By Vulpuz knew what miracle she hadn't broken anything irreplaceable. Several vials of poison had shattered over the course of her fall and the broken glass had done her no favours. But she supposed the strong scent of death that enveloped her now was keeping predators away.
The vixen hobbled along through the forest, dodging the spears, arrows and boulders that tried to impale her with practised ease (she had had her fair share of rotten fruit thrown at her).
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The Hollowed-Out-Nest was loud and pungent, and as the morning rolled on, it became sticky and humid. Rolf lay against the wall letting the rolling sap stick to his fur and mix with his sweat. Above him, Kew-Kew's snores reverberated through the tree, a cacophony that made Barrumtum sound like a competent bard.
As he was dozing in and out of his thoughts and daydreams, pondering the boulder, Kew-Kew's past, and how quickly the Rumbler would snap his spine, Rolf blinked suddenly and threw a paw over his eye to shield it from a small ray of light beaming at him across the top of the boulder.
"Whaaa- YES!"
The mouse sprung to his feet, and clambered onto Kew-Kew's 'door' to inspect it further. Sure enough there was a small gap between wood and rock which he could stick his nose through. It remained there for some time, greedily breathing in air that didn't smell of Kew-Kew as Rolf planned ahead. Escape was now a very real possibility. He definitely couldn't budge the boulder but the bark around it was another thing entirely. All he had to do was make the hole a little bit bigger and then he could squeeze himself out into the open. Then he'd have to find his way back home before Kew-Kew did so that his family would hear the 'correct' version of events first and the wearet had no more leverage on him. Then he could apologise to Ralph and return a few of the trophies and, hopefully if all went well, he could weasel himself into the Jesters of Plomplemoof.
"First thing's first," the mouse muttered. He waited a moment to make sure Kew-Kew was still snoring before carefully rotating around to place his footpaws on either side of the hole. He reeled them in, braced for impact, and kicked like he had never kicked before!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"This is stupid!" Robin complained, as a stray arrow zipped past and spilled the broken contents of her satchel onto the ground. "I'm not being payed enough," she bent over to retrieve anything salvageable- narrowly ducking under the bouder that came swinging overhead. "My target isn't anybeast important." Her dagger had somehow been bent but it was probably still useful. "And for all I know that wearet might've already done the job for me. Not like I could even find him in a place like this." She stood up again, just in time for the boulder's return swing to send her hurtling head over tail into a clearing.
Robin sat up, shaking any latent dizziness out of herself. Unfortunately she could not do the same for her dagger. The blade- already bent from one boulder too many, finally gave in and dropped off the handle entirely. "Nope. Forget it. I'm not going to bother with this job."
It was at this moment that Rolf burst through the largest tree in the clearing, slipped down a boulder and landed rump-first a few footpaws away from his would-be-killer.
It was hard to tell which of the two looked more surprised.
For a moment, Robin was sure her head had taken one too many lumps and she was now merely imagining the mouse that perfectly matched the description of her target had come- practically gift-wrapped- before her.
But then he spoke.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Er- h-hello?" Still dizzy from the manner of his escape, Rolf too was unsure if he was seeing things. He had no idea why he'd hallucinate a vixen of all things but he supposed Kew-Kew was somehow responsible for that.
"There really is a Vulpuz," the vixen breathed, proving she was not merely a figment of his imagination. For a moment there was a look of hunger in her eyes that Rolf had never seen before (not even when Kew-Kew threatened to eat him) and it frightened him to his very core. And then she was smiling amicably and getting to her footpaws. "Hello!"
"You er- lost?"
"Well I was, but then I found what I was looking for. Just give me a second will you?"
"O-okay?" Rolf watched with growing apprehension as the fox darted back into the forest. He wasn't quite sure if it was safer inside the nest or outside anymore.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm going to be rich!" Robin squealed as she skipped through the trees to where her satchel had split.
Her (very cheap and low quality) crossbow was a little bit twisted and all but one of her bolts were unusable. It was lucky she'd only need one shot! "I'm definitely charging for the Vendetta Policy so I shouldn't forget to do that. And he wanted a long drawn out death, right?" she paused to consider whether her conscience could take it. The mouse was a living, breathing beast with emotions and feelings and family after all. "I can charge the rat for the long drawn out death but I can make it quick if the mouse doesn't put up a fight," she decided.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"ANTONIA LOVES ME MORE!" Robin burst back into the clearing and fired. The bolt whistled through the air with deadly force. Had a true marksbeast been wielding the weapon, or had the crossbow been true to begin with it surely would have been a deadly blow.
As it was the bolt arced awkwardly and landed in the earth between Rolf's footpaws. The mouse stared at it in horror as it quivered there.
"Oh sorry," Robin tossed the crossbow aside. "I don't think I was meant to say that. Did you ever kill somebeast's father?"
"N-no?"
"Okaaaay, er- well this is awkward," the vixen scratched the back of her head and pointed a claw at the bolt. "That was meant to kill you, you see."
Rolf swallowed, and pinched himself to make sure this wasn't some kind of nightmare.
"I don't usually like getting my paws bloody- actually I do, but somewhat more metaphorically speaking? But anyways! No hard feelings, right?" she asked, brandishing a knife.
Rolf shot to his footpaws, scrambling onto the boulder as Robin tore through the clearing towards him. He dove into the hole, the tip of his tail vanishing as the vixen's knife arced downwards.
"You dirty rat!" Robin grumbled. "That's the third knife I've broken today! Oh well, you can run but you can't hide and when I'm done tanning your hide I'll buy five more and a new crossbow." Blinded by the irresistible daydream of going shopping, Robin smashed a footpaw into the boulder in an attempt to kick it out of the way.
Rolf breathed a sigh of relief as the vixen outside hollered in pain and hopped around on one footpaw. "Never thought I'd be so glad to be back in here," he mused, wrinkling his nose as the scent of wearet hit him hard.
Catching his breath as best he could, the mouse made his way up to the larger nest chamber, from which Kew-Kew's snoring could still be heard. He hesitated for a moment, still mad at the wearet, but the vixen's noisy complaints reminded him of the urgency of the situation.
Clearing his throat, Rolf did his best to not sound desperate. "Kew-Kew?"
The wearet continued snoring.
He tried a little louder. "Kew-Kew."
The wearet snored a little louder.
Rolf's ear flickered. He could hear Robin Merriweather beginning to tear the hole open wider. Replacing dignity with fear, the mouse shook the wearet. "Kew-Kew I need you!"
"But Rolfie is mad at Kew-Kew," the wearet whimpered sleepily, his eyes still tightly shut. A paw stretched out and pulled the mouse into a tight and uncomfortably warm embrace- the way a dibbun drew in their favourite stuffedbeast.
"Yes, he is!" Rolf grumbled, uncomfortable with but more than used to the proximity. "Y-you are a rubbish roommate! You stink, you don't know the meaning of personal space, you threaten to eat me twice a week and for some reason you keep ending up on top of me- figuratively and literally! But right now there is a crazy fox outside who is trying to kill me and I need you!"
"W-why kill Rolfie?" the dozy wearet wondered aloud. He rolled onto his back, the better to snuggle with what he no doubt imagined was one of Auslag's Pillows-With-Personality. "Rolfie is big liar-mousie but is kind and silly…"
"That's very flattering, but I'd really rather you woke up!"
"Rolfie is baby brother of Marr-garr-ett, so Rolfie is like baby brother of Kew-Kew!" The wearet smiled his big, goofy wearet smile. And for a moment Rolf forgot his grievances. As difficult as he was, Kew-Kew's heart was clearly in… an alright place.
And then Kew-Kew rolled over and buried him beneath his girth.
Rolf sighed. "I really should have seen that one coming." A paw squeezed out from under the eagle closed around a feather and raised it to Kew-Kew's nose. At first the wearet sniggered, then he giggled, shaking Rolf's whole world, and at last he sneezed and woke up.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
For coin Siler would do almost anything. He wasn't quite prepared to die for it but in a business like his there were always going to be risks involved. Those risks did not always include having to deal with a dozen bent spears flying crooked arcs towards him. Siler was careful to avoid traps of course. He could see their triggers from half a league away and avoid them just as easily. The hard part was avoiding older traps- ones that had aged and decayed and became deadly not by their own virtue but from how little control was held over them. Old ropes snapped at random even if nothing set them off. Pits were harder to spot when shrouded in nature's cloak but no doubt still filled with spikes.
The going was slow, but Siler kept on going…
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Sawwy again," said Kew-Kew, sheepishly fiddling with his feathers as he dusted straws and feathers off of Rolf.
"Not the first time I've been pinned to the ground by a larger beast. It happens far too often for comfort. And at least this time I wasn't near a backside." Rolf shivered away dark and unsavoury memories. "Let's just act like this never happened."
"Okay Rolfie," Kew-Kew grinned and mimed locking his mouth shut and swallowing the key. One of the dibbuns must have taught him that. The wearet was in a noticeably better mood than before- probably because Rolf was speaking to him again.
"Now can we please go and deal with the fox outside?"
There came a loud crash from lower in the Hollowed-Tree. "Ready or not mouse, here I come!"
"Inside. The fox inside," Rolf amended.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Meanwhile in Thornhill…
"I think the monster's finally moved out." Heidi Bankvole hollered over the street at the similarly-aged dormouse across from her.
"Good riddance! And right on time too! I was just about to call over a professional to deal with it."
"What a coincidence! I was just about to call my neice! She's one of those cold-blooded killer types. Would have made short work of the beast."
"Oh I'm sure she would have. Might have left quite a mess though! The beast I hired was a professional. Would have wiped every trace of that thing off the face of this good earth."
The two old creatures squinted each other down before changing the subject.
"Should we wait another week before letting everybeast know?"
"Aye, just to be sure! And we can even throw a little celebration-"
"-Dedicated to my neice! The saviour of Thornhill!"
"I was thinking of commissioning a statue," Matilda went on. "Of that monster, entangled in the thorns of our town- we could leave it out as a warning to others!"
Margaret had long since learned to ignore her neighbour's opinions on Kew-Kew. While most of them were still amicable towards her, plenty had voiced unwanted opinions on the wearet. And while she was willing to acknowledge that Kew-Kew was never entirely innocent, he had never been taught better and had to be treated more like an overgrown dibbun and less like a rampaging monster.
"I doubt he'll complain about getting a statue," Bartholomew muttered, loud enough for the whole family to hear.
"A pity he couldn't come," Elizabeth added, locking the gate behind them. "I'm sure he'll be disappointed he didn't get to see Rolf compete."
"Maybe an eagle got him," Hammond said, sounding a little too hopeful for Margaret's liking.
"He'll be back," she snapped at him. "I'm sure he's perfectly fine."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Back in the land of Kew-Kew…
As it was, Kew-Kew was more than perfectly fine. Rolf was rather less than fine, but unharmed. The same could not be said for Robin Merriweather. No sooner had she dug past the boulder than the wearet came screeching down from above, booting her (and the boulder she'd dug past) out of his tree and into the trunk of another one. Which promptly collapsed on her.
Dazed, she managed to crawl free of the wreckage. "That hurt," she complained, tapping the side of her head to make sure it hadn't cracked open.
"Who are you?" Rolf asked, bolder now that he had Kew-Kew behind him.
"Your death," said Robin, proud of how deadly and professional she sounded. Blade drawn, the vixen made a mad dash for the mouse, but Kew-Kew slid between them and an outstretched footpaw turned her charge into a tumble. The knife went flying from her paws and into the treeline. It must have hit something, for a moment later the trees threw back a weighted rope that wrapped itself around Rolf like a serpent's coil before the weights interlocked in such a way that they could not fall off nor be pulled apart.
The impact had knocked Rolf off his footpaws. The mouse blinked dumbly and sniffed. The rope smelled distinctly of eagle. "This is one of yours, isn't it?"
"Kew-Kew didn't trigger trap, foxie did," Kew-Kew protested.
"And I'll do it again," Robin warned, her voice dark and full of foreboding.
"Not Kew-Kew's fault Rolfie can't duck," the wearet continued, picking up the vixen and tossing her the way the knife had gone.
"Just untie me, please."
"Kraw, keep your fur on Rolfie, patience much impor-"
Before Kew-Kew could finish, Robin Merriweather came hurtling back into the clearing, crashed into the tied-up Rolf and the two tumbled into the other end of woodlands.
Their tumble came to a halt at the foot of a large, collapsed tree that had since hollowed out and become a cavern of sorts. Robin recovered startlingly fast and found herself sitting atop her target.
"Gotcha now," she grinned.
Rolf would have screamed, but the vixen clamped his mouth shut.
"I was supposed to give you some fitting last words or something, but I can't remember what they were. I also don't have anymore knives so I'm going to have to do this the old-fashioned w-"
She was interrupted by Rolf's tail ineffectively smacking the side of her muzzle.
"Ow, that really-"
She was interrupted again by Kew-Kew's much wider tail slamming into her face.
Robin went flying into the hollow trunk and bounced along it's sides… and bounced some more… and bounced a bit more… and continued bouncing…
Rolf stood up again and after a while ventured to ask. "How is she still…?"
"Eagle hide!" Kew-Kew pointed to the sides of the trunk where pale pink strips of leather had been pulled taut and stretched all around the inside of the trunk. "Kew-Kew played here much as eggchick," he explained, clambering inside to demonstrate his skill on the trampoline.
"I'm (bounce) not (bounce) done (bounce) with (bounce) you (bounce) yet!" Robin shouted from the other end of the cavern, still playing the pinball. The vixen was beginning to understand the nature of what she was dealing with now and was beginning to make her way back towards the two.
"Do you mind if I stay out here?" Rolf asked, he could think of no worse place to have a fight to the death than Kew-Kew's bouncy castle.
"Kraw! Don't (bounce) miss (bounce) fun!" Kew-Kew's eyes lit up with amusement. "Watch (bounce) this!" Kew-Kew hit the floor of the tree and shot up, twisting mid-air so that he bounced off the roof and back towards the ground. As jagged as a thunderbolt, the wearet flew towards Robin and when they collided, the vixen lost all semblance of control she had managed to cling onto.
But Kew-Kew was not done. He flicked her nose, bounced, nipped her ear, bounced, smacked her face, bounced, and spun mid-bounce to bring his tail down hard on her back.
Robin was not the only beast being battered around by the Bouncy Log. Compelled to follow Kew-Kew around, Rolf had gritted his teeth and climbed in after the two. He quickly found himself bereft of balance and flopping about as helpless as a fish out of water. The cavern jostling him about as if he were a hot potatoe. He lost track of wearet and vixen, and was almost glad when the Bouncy Log spat him back out.
Almost because a moment later he was under Kew-Kew's rump.
"Is foxie liking land of Kew-Kew?" the wearet taunted, grinding what he thought was Robin deeper into the ground.
"Ash a mhtter ooff fffact, emnot."
"SQUAWK!" Kew-Kew's eyes bulged as he realised what (or rather who) he had under him. "Er- don't tell Marr-garr-ett?"
Robin crashed into the greenery ahead of them.
"Jush geroff me pleash."
The wearet did as he obliged, sheepishly chewing a claw.
"Now can you please untie me?" Rolf spat out a mouthful of feathers.
"Kraw! Of course!" Kew-Kew bit the weighted lumps off the rope before giving one end a hard tug. Rolf was sent spinning like a top until he bumped into Kew-Kew's paunch.
The forest was still spinning when Robin rose to continue her match.
"This isn't over!" she declared, though the bruises on her face begged otherwise.
The trio now found themselves in a web of vines and frayed rope. Having spent more time around Kew-Kew, Rolf was the first to realise what they were. The wearet's signature handiwork was all too familiar. These were triggers waiting to be sprung.
More out of curiosity than anything else, Rolf prodded the one nearest to him. This proved unwise when it promptly snapped and a branch above proceeded to drench him in something warm and sticky. It was followed up with a cloud of downy feathers that made Rolf look like a scrawny, undergrown chick that had fallen out of a nest.
"...Why do you even have that?"
"Makes tracking much easy!"
"You look ridiculous!" Robin laughed from across the web. It was her turn to pick a trap to trigger and like Rolf she chose unwisely.
A cluster of rotten eggs rained down upon Robin Merriweather coating her in a stench so foul Rolf gagged from across the web while beside him Kew-Kew drank the scent with his nose and sighed blissfully.
"I think you got off worse," Rolf called out.
"Oh yeah! How about this!"
Another trap was sprung and this time a plank reared out from the undergrowth and gave Rolf a hard pat on the behind that sent the mouse sprawling forwards.
Robin made a point of exaggerating her laughter.
"Kraw! Don't hurt Rolfie!" Kew-Kew chose another rope and the vixen's laughter turned into a howl as a dozen hedgehog spines flung themselves at her rear. She teetered backwards, her paws flailing and triggering half a dozen traps at once.
Most of the spears, arrows and oddments landed far from where any of them were standing, but they in turn triggered more spears, arrows and oddments, which triggered even more traps until everything from axes to roses were hurtling through the air in a cacophony of calamity.
"Is it over?" Rolf asked a moment later when the sound of snapping rope died down. Cautiously, he ventured to open one eye. It was only then that he noticed the shadow looming over him. Kew-Kew stepped to the side with a squawk of alarm as a life-sized, paw-made straw and feather eagle fell to the ground and buried Rolf beneath it's girth.
"Is he dead?" Robin asked, her voice almost pleading. Before she got her answer she made the mistake of taking a step forward. A rope snapped shut on her footpaw and raised her into the air and into the path of an incoming boulder. Upon impact the only thing that concerned her were the birds flapping around her head.
Kew-Kew lifted the straw eagle and found that Rolf was not dead. The impact had merely sent him somewhere where the sun did not shine. Digging his paw into the dummy's fluffy backside he pulled Rolf free, dazed and shell-shocked but entirely unharmed.
"Why… do you have… a giant… straw… eagle?" Rolf ventured to ask a short while later, pulling hay from his ears..
"Target practice. And sometimes to drop on preybeasts." Kew-Kew couldn't suppress a snicker. "But Rolfie is first to go up it's tail."
"Lucky me."
Kew-Kew did not catch his sarcasm and licked his face.
That was when the woodmouse emerged from the woods, bowstring pulled back and arrow at the ready. Siler was rather shabbier-looking than he had been when he set out- his cloak had been torn and part of it set ablaze, his fur was ruffled and his quiver had seemingly lost half it's arrows- nevertheless there was something cold about him that made Rolf shiver.
"Normally I don't announce my arrival, but this has been a pretty sour morning so far so I'll make this quick." He pointed the arrow at Kew-Kew. "You are the wearet and-or eagle they call Kew-Kew, correct?"
"Kraw, yeeees," Kew-Kew nodded, not sure where this was going.
"And you are the same Kew-Kew that attacked Alphonso, correct?"
"Crowbird?" the eagle cocked his head to the side.
"Yes."
Kew-Kew nodded.
Before Siler could loose the arrow, Robin called out to him. "Hey mouse! Cut me loose, I'm with you! The other mouse is mine!"
It only took a glance for Siler to know that Rolf would put up as much of a fight as a flea. "He has a bounty too?"
The vixen paused on the verge of nodding, but thought better of it. "Er- n-no. This is ahem, personal. He killed my grandmother."
Siler did not buy it for a moment but smiled nonetheless. He'd collect both bounties, of course, but there was no harm in making his job easier. His arrow flew at the rope holding Robin up and dumped the vixen gracelessly on the forest floor. "Please, don't let me stand in the way."
Rolf raised his paws into the air. "W-wait wait, slow down. M-maybe we can work something out. M-maybe I- I could pay you?"
Siler considered it while nocking a second arrow. It was bad business to disappoint clients, but he wasn't going to complain if the mouse doubled his money. Rolf didn't look particularly wealthy though. "I'd loot your corpse anyways, but how much have you got on you?"
"I er- don't have anything with me."
"A poor bribe."
Siler fired.
There came an audible thunk and Kew-Kew stumbled back from the force of the blow.
Rolf gasped and gaped in horror as the arrow stood quivering in Kew-Kew's chest. The wearet was much less interested and sniffed at it. "Tickles," he commented then grinned down at Siler. "Mousie wants to hunt?"
To his credit, Siler did not seem all that surprised. "Tough hide. Should have expected it from a wearet."
"Eagle."
"As to your question," the woodmouse drew a third arrow. "I'm actually here to kill you." He pulled back the bowstring as Kew-Kew raised the straw eagle high. They stared each other down for what seemed an eternity, before Siler turned and shot the arrow at Rolf.
The mouse was saved from an untimely demise by Kew-Kew slamming the feathery behind of his dummy back down on top of him.
"Sorry Rolfie!" Kew-Kew called back, as he pounced upon Siler, who had already retreated to a safer distance and now let fly another arrow which the wearet this time caught in his jaws and snapped clean in two.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
It was dark inside the eagle, and warm and stuffy, the air thick with dust. Rolf supposed it was better than an arrow to the heart but Kew-Kew could have at least warned him first.
With some difficulty he managed to wriggle out back the way he'd came, thankful it wasn't a real eagle he was crawling out from. He dared not lift the dummy off the ground so settled for crawling out from under it. He stood up, dusted himself and searched the trees for Kew-Kew.
The wearet was in absence, as was the woodmouse. Robin was still present, hacking away at the eagle from the other side of it.
Rolf gulped and took a step backwards. He made no sound but must have set off a trap for a moment later with a noise like a whistle an anvil dropped on Robin's tail.
Inevitably, that got her attention.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Elsewhere in the woods, predator and prey paused in their battle.
"What is you?" Kew-Kew wondered aloud. He perched bird-like on a branch above his opponent. "Looks like mousie, smells like mousie, sounds like mousie but hunt better than any mousie."
"I'm so glad I've earned your respect."
Kew-Kew grinned. "You is welcome."
Siler frowned, not bothering to explain that he had been sarcastic. He doubted Kew-Kew would comprehend the meaning.
It did not take a beast as experienced as he was to know he was at a disadvantage. There was no telling how much more it would take to fell the beast, whereas Siler knew that if Kew-Kew were to get too close he was done for.
Two more arrows flew at the eagle who had by now already vanished further up the tree.
Kew-Kew dropped down from somewhere above Siler. The marksbeast forced him to dodge an arrow mid-air, which bought him enough time to roll out of the way and let loose another. This, Kew-Kew was unable to dodge and it landed next to the first.
"Still only tickles," Kew-Kew taunted as he watched Siler reload.
Of course, Siler wouldn't have taken the job if he thought he couldn't do it.
…And Kew-Kew wasn't the only beast who could climb.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
It was the most intense game of musical chairs Rolf had ever played, only there were no chairs and there was no music. The eagle lay between them, apparently unbothered by the state of it's hundred and a half stab wounds, as mouse and vixen circled round and round.
"We can still talk this out." Rolf stammered, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he was. "I-I might not have any money now but my family is pretty well off and would be m-more than happy to pay you."
Robin stopped to better consider his offer.
Rolf too drew to a halt so that he did not circle around to her side of the eagle.
The rat hadn't looked very rich, nor was the price they had agreed on all that high but Robin was not about to admit that she was the most underpayed assassin in the Northlands. Still, she could give the mouse a fair offer. If his family truly were well-off it would be a small price to pay for his life.
"I accept your offer."
Rolf breathed an immense sigh of relief.
"I'll want your weight-no hang on- your wearet's weight in gold, some of those shiny gemstones you well-off beasts have plenty of aaaaand several casks of the finest liquor in your possession."
"Ah," said Rolf. He neglected to mention that the only way his family would be able to afford such a price was by selling the house and most of their possessions.
"Shake on it?" Robin offered her paw.
Rolf stared at it with apprehension. "C-can I pass?"
"No pawshake, no deal," Robin's said firmly.
After a long moment of hesitation, Rolf swallowed his fear as best he could and stretched his paw over the eagle to meet hers.
"I'm Robin by the way, Robin Merryweather."
"I-I'm Rolf."
The pawshake grew uncomfortably long.
"Y-you can let go now," Rolf chuckled nervously.
"And let you scurry away? Or do you want me to wait for the other two to show up?" Robin snorted. "I'm not stupid, mouse. If I want to ransom you first I need to kidnap you."
Rolf made to wrench away, but the vixen held him tight.
"W-w-wait please!" he begged, as her other paw grabbed him by the front. "I promise I'm not going to rip you off!"
"I believe you!" Robin chirped, proceeding to stuff him into the eagle.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Before long only Rolf's head was sticking out of the straw. The mouse sat there defeated, his own bandages wrapped tightly around his muzzle in a makeshift gag. He tried to content himself with the thought that Kew-Kew would deal with the other mouse swiftly and soon come to his rescue. Robin would not be hard to track, he could see. She was dragging the eagle behind her, leaving a trail of straw and feathers anybeast could have followed, and whistling too, for all the world to hear. Not to mention there was something about the way she smelled- it was as if death itself clung to her…
Rolf would have preferred it if his rescue came in the form of somebeast that wasn't Kew-Kew (he might have even taken his chances with Ralph if he had been given a choice) but as it was he was merely content to be alive. Had the vixen not heard his promise of riches he would be wearing more stab wounds than the eagle currently holding him.
Deeper and deeper into the woods they went, were he not gagged he would have asked if Robin knew the way and no doubt that was why the vixen had gagged him. Eventually they came across a rushing stream and Robin grinned. "Let's see your eagle fly faster than my boat."
Rolf felt his heart drop. It would be a lot harder to track them from the river and there would be no escape if Kew-Kew couldn't track him… And then he'd have no choice but to drop the mother of all messes on his parent's lap. His siblings would never let him hear the end of it…
Robin's 'boat' proved to be the eagle. She clambered aboard and let the stream rush them downwards while she reclined against the dummy's neck.
"When I decide we've lost your monster I'm going to ungag you. We might be in a town by then but don't be tempted to scream or I'll just stab you and collect your bounty anyways. You're going to tell me where you live so I can go ask your family about collecting your bounty. You better hope they don't ask for proof or I'll have to cut something off. Finger usually."
Rolf stared at her in wide-eyed horror.
"Don't worry, I'll use a cleaver- I'm not stupid!"
Rolf bit back a sob.
"You're my first," the vixen went on, apparently unable to hold it in any longer. "My first successful job! I've had others and better paying ones too but something always goes wrong- like last time!"
Rolf's eyes widened suddenly as the stream turned into a bend. "Uh-oh," he said but his muzzle was firmly shut so what Robin heard was "Mmuh mmoh,".
"Yup, storytime! You would think there's no better place to kill somebeast than at their wedding- it's genius! Nobeast will suspect the bride!- and I was practising too, really going to give an emotional performance. But noooo, the bride and groom have got to drink from the same cup, nevermind the backwash!"
"MMMMDHRHHHM!"
"I know right! That's gross! Think of the germs!" Robin shook her head. "But I couldn't even stab the guy because somebeast else ran into my dagger for some reason. Rude. Hey, stop trying to escape! We shook on it!"
Robin made to shove him entirely into the straw but Rolf managed to free a paw from the dummy's grip and wrenched off the bandages on his muzzle. "WATERFALL!"
"Where?" asked Robin, half-turning from where she sat and nearly falling into the river when she saw where it was leading them. Desperately she flung her paws to the side and slapped up a whirlpool as she tried to paddle to the shore.
"Don't just sit there help me paddle!" the vixen beseeched.
"I'm a bit tied up at the moment," Rolf retorted, prying loose his other arm.
The vixen's glare was more deadly than the rest of her and Rolf squeaked apologetically and redoubled his efforts to climb free. With some difficulty he managed to pull himself out of the straw and even threw himself earnestly into the task of paddling upriver… not that it made much of a difference.
Mouse and vixen screamed as one and clung to each other for dear life as they plunged into the foaming rapids!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Both woodmouse and wearet were in their element amid the trees. Higher and higher they climbed, leaping from branch to branch.
"Not bad, but I was expecting better from a wearet."
"I is eagle!"
"Are you sure?"
Kew-Kew growled and leapt after him, narrowly dodging an arrow aimed at his eye. Siler had the battle in his paws now. An arrow here forced the eagle to duck, another blocked one path and left a third one open.
"Eagles should be faster than that!"
"I is fast!" Kew-Kew snapped.
Being the more limber and lighter of the two he could take routes Kew-Kew couldn't follow and by limiting Kew-Kew's options he narrowed down the wearet's trajectory until he was all but guiding him into his arrow's paths.
"You'll die pretty fast," Siler promised. A paw brushed along the feathers poking out his quiver, counting. He had ten good arrows left- the broken ones were useful for stabbing in a pinch but if it came to that Siler had already lost.
"My employer specifically asked to bring back your corpse- I imagine he's going to stuff you as a warning for others."
Hot with frustration, Kew-Kew continued pounding after the mouse.
Siler grinned. "Nothing left to say? I'm sure you'll make a very nice taxidermy." Another arrow buried itself in the wearet's tail.
Kew-Kew was moving slower but still far too fast for a beast his size. He was sporting a few more wounds but none of Siler's arrows had gone deep enough or hit anything important enough to slow him down. I should have used poisoned arrows. But Siler was loathe to spend his coin on work when it payed for better, warmer things.
"Not very popular with jills, are you?"
Kew-Kew looked up at him and blinked in confusion. "Jills?" He had never heard the word before.
"Oh you're probably a bit young for that." Gotcha!
He shot an arrow clean into the wearet's paw. Kew-Kew withdrew it with a hiss and then another arrow took him in the chest. The force of the blow sent him reeling backwards onto a branch below. Siler let loose a third arrow but Kew-Kew dropped out of range.
Siler grit his teeth as his quarry vanished into the vast canopy beneath him. "Not as dumb as you look," the woodmouse frowned. His strategy was worthless without the wearet pursuing him. He'd been counting on the so-called eagle's child-like pride to lure him to his death.
Faintly he heard some snapping below. It might have been a branch but Siler knew better. Kew-Kew wasn't retreating- only taking a different way. He's breaking off the shafts. "A pity you don't just pull them out- I never complained about a beast dying of bloodloss."
There was a faint wind and the scent of wearet was all around him- but it was an old smell and would tell him nothing about where to look for the beast. He could hear things his eyes couldn't see. Branches breaking. Leaves rustling.
And then, somehow, Kew-Kew was giggling from a branch above him and the woodmouse didn't need to ask what was so funny to know he was the joke.
"If you jump we both fall," Siler warned, bowstring pulled taut.
"If branch breaks, mousie falls, Kew-Kew flies," Kew-Kew corrected.
The arrow landed true… but so did Kew-Kew. The branch snapped, unable to bear their combined weight and suddenly they were both falling.
Kew-Kew's fall was shorter. Well-practiced at falling, he swung into a tree trunk, his claws drawing long gashes in the wood until he ground to a halt. Grinning, he snapped the arrow shaft sticking out of his chest as he watched the woodmouse spin downwards. Siler was halfway to the ground when Kew-Kew finally decided to save him.
The eagle flew, kicking off of branches and leaping upside down until his paws closed around a rope. Kicking off the tree trunk, Kew-Kew swung into Siler and slammed him into another tree with enough force to crater the bark. It cut short his fall but knocked the wind right out of him.
"Game over, mousie," Kew-Kew grinned. "Breakfast time now!" He licked the woodmouse across the face as the forest filled with the stench of fear.
Kew-Kew gagged, choked and nearly fell right off the tree. Siler tasted revolting!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Somehow, Rolf had survived the waterfall. Dripping wet and shivering, the mouse dragged himself away from the riverbank. He got to his footpaws, wringing water from his ears and did his best to shake himself dry. "I'm alive." He blinked, as if he did not believe the words. "I'm alive," he repeated.
"Not if I can help it," came the vixen's voice. Rolf whirled around to find her brandishing a thick branch.
"C-can you please-"
"DIE!" she brought her chosen weapon down hard on his head as Rolf raised his arms in a feeble defense.
She whacked him once, twice, thrice.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Rolf repeated as the branch lashed at him.
On the fourth hit, the branch- old and hollow as it was- snapped.
Robin blinked.
Rolf blinked.
The vixen fell to her knees with a dry sob. "It's not fair. I-I never get to do anything right!"
Rolf might have felt more pity for her had she only whacked him once. As it was he retreated a short distance away, tripping over his own tail as he did so and falling on his rump. His paw closed around a smooth, shiny stone from the river.
"I always get the rubbish contracts, killing beasts for beasts that pay in copper. Copper! Not even silver! A-and I don't even get to kill them either because things always go w-wrong and-"
Rolf's stone caught her in the side of the head. Robin blinked once and slumped facefirst into the wet sand with a defeated groan.
Rolf glanced at his fist and breathed a sigh of relief. He took another few steps back in case Robin rose up again. "I'm alive," he grinned and then he whooped with joy and took another step backward.
Turning on his heels to go look for Kew-Kew, he found himself facing a small army.
Rolf gulped audibly. "H-hi?"
"It's that mouse he's always with!" a burly squirrel shouted.
"Where's the wearet?" demanded a shrew.
Beating one bounty hunter was, of course, very different to facing an entire swarm of them. Rolf raised his arms in a gesture of surrender. The euphoria of his victory vanished, replaced only with sheer terror as a spear was thrust in his direction.
"C-can we talk about this?" the mouse stammered. He made to back away but felt his foot connect with the tell-tale trigger of a trap.
"Quit yer whinin' we haven't even threatened you yet," the ferret holding the spear grinned, showing off a dozen wooden teeth.
"I'm not whining," Rolf felt some of his confidence returning as a plan began forming in his head. "I have no idea where he is. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you." He kicked the rope, setting off the trap, and ducked to avoid whatever it was he'd unleashed upon the assassins.
An old and rusted water bucket swung by on a vine and completely drenched the ferret in a foul-smelling liquid.
"You are dead meat!" the ferret snarled.
"No he's not!"
Rolf would have been more relieved if his rescuer wasn't the same fox that had been trying to do him in all morning.
"The mouse is mine!"
Of course, Robin herself was a coward (and in no fit state to fight anything) and when confronted by the glares of much more sinister looking beasts she faltered.
"Er- but like, I only need to kill him. Y-you can do whatever you want before that."
"So the mouse has a bounty too, eh?" asked the squirrel.
"Tell us where the wearet is and we might consider bringing you in alive," chimed in the shrew.
There was no way to fight it out, and just as Rolf was about to start running away the tense silence was interrupted by an unnatural screech that belonged to only one eagle.
"Keeeeeraw!"
Kew-Kew swooped down, swinging on a rope that suddenly gave way and dropped him to the ground where he proceeded to roll first into Rolf and then a tree trunk.
Not even Robin, who had seen much that day, was able to react to his arrival. Kew-Kew recovered before the assassins did. "Thanks for catching Kew-Kew," the wearet gave the dizzy Rolf a slobbery lick. "I saves you now!" Picking up the mouse's scarf in his jaws, Kew-Kew launched himself up the side of the tree just as the assassins began to realise their quarry was getting away.
"No! Stop them!" Robin lead a brief and valiant charge that was cut short when she tripped over another rope. By now she knew it was better to stay down which left her as the only assassin standing when a boulder swung by and sent the small horde of mercenaries into the river.
For a beast so large and so often clumsy (at least, where Rolf was concerned) Kew-Kew proved to be swift and nimble amidst the trees. He tossed Rolf into the air and caught him by the scarf again, though this time the grip belonged to one of Kew-Kew's footpaws. Gnarly and foul-smelling though it was, Rolf wrapped his arms around it and held on tight.
"Is like little Mousie game!" Kew-Kew chirped as behind them the mercenaries waded from the waters and set off in pursuit. He sounded far too excited by the prospect of being hunted down.
"You're b-bleeding," the mouse noticed.
"I is!" replied Kew-Kew, beaming.
Rolf blinked. "You need a healer."
Kew-Kew shrugged. "Kew-Kew been lotsa bloodier. Once, night eagle nearly swallow Kew-Kew, so I rips it from inside throat and eat it's heart."
"That is disturbing-"
"And once Kew-Kew rip face of-"
"I get the picture!"
Kew-Kew had the grace to look sheepish. "Fiiiiine," he said, bending mid-leap to scoop Rolf up into his arms. "Kew-Kew go to healer after. Because Rolf say so."
"Thank you." The mouse was relieved to see that their pursuers were failing to keep up. The eagle knew his woodlands well and was faster in the trees than they were on the ground. And down below there were still traps impeding their every step.
He could still hear their shouting in the distance, but the mercenaries were well out of sight by the time Kew-Kew came to a halt on the side of a gnarly old walnut. Rolf wouldn't have been able to distinguish it from any other tree in the woods but Kew-Kew must have known it well for he made a noise of delight and slid down to the ground below.
"Mother of Kew-Kew never found I when I was hiding here," the wearet explained, dropping Rolf and brushing aside a bush to reveal a dusty hidey-hole in the shadow of the walnut's roots. "Now we playing hide and seek," Kew-Kew grinned, gently shoving Rolf inside before the mouse could protest and covering it again behind him.
"I is going to leave lying tracks, be back soon," Kew-Kew called back, already shooting deeper into the woods.
Rolf supposed lying tracks meant a false trail. Kew-Kew and he could then double back on their hunters and lose them for good. He glanced around his hiding place but there was not much to look at. The hole was dark and damp, no bigger than the inside of a barrel, but well-hidden. "Hope that's enough," he mumbled.
Kew-Kew joined him a short while later from a different entryway. He did his best to not cramp up the space too much but Rolf still found himself squished against the sides and sharing his space with Kew-Kew's feetpaw.
He might have complained, or wriggled somewhere more comfortable and less smelly, but the footfalls of two dozen or so mercenaries were growing louder and Rolf dared not make a sound.
With bated breath the pair waited for the footsteps to pass. Rolf did his best to ignore the stink, and did his best to hold back his sneezes when one of Kew-Kew's feathers brushed his nose. Kew-Kew was restless though, snickering into his paws like the overgrown dibbun he was. But the beasts outside were too busy shouting to hear (they were all blaming each other for letting their quarry escape), and even Rolf allowed himself a smile, small and nervous though it was, as the footfalls began to fade.
"Can we-" Rolf started to whisper, but Kew-Kew shoved a footpaw into his face and shook his head.
So they waited.
And waited.
Rolf watched a pair of fleas clamber off of Kew-Kew and hop into his fur.
He was beginning to grow certain that he would forever be stuck beneath the walnut when the wearet gave him a pair of thumbclaws up and moved his footpaw to ruffle the fur between Rolf's ears.
"Rolfie can say thank you now," he grinned and scrambled back the way he came.
"If you expect me to thank you for shoving your foot in my face, think again." Rolf muttered darkly. It had been a good hiding spot though, that part was undeniable, and there was nothing new about Kew-Kew invading his personal space. The wearet had practically conquered it. "Doesn't mean I should thank him for it." Rolf crawled out the hidey-hole and dusted himself. He glanced up, half expecting Kew-Kew to lick his face. Instead, he felt his insides drop.
Robin Merriweather was blinking stupidly at him, as if he were some long extinct, never-before-seen kind of beast. From the feathers poking out her nose it was clear that some traps had slowed her down and the horde had been in no hurry to help her keep up.
"Well, well, well." She recovered enough from her shock to grin. "How the tables turn. HEY GUYS-"
The (humongous) walnut Kew-Kew threw at her from somewhere above cut short her call but the damage was done and in the distance a loud cry rose up from the horde.
Kew-Kew scrambled down the tree trunk to wrench Rolf off the ground again as a dozen projectiles buried themselves where the mouse had been standing a moment before. The eagle climbed fast, but by the time he found the swinging rope they were surrounded. Down below, the burly squirrel was threatening to bring an axe to the trunk.
"I don't suppose you could fight them all off?" Rolf wondered glumly.
"Kew-Kew can try!" the wearet wondered, for a moment the picture of chivalric valiance. A javelin zoomed past the tip of his nose. "But running much smarter."
Saying so, he snatched at the old frayed rope and held his roommate firmly. "Ka-kaw!" He sprung off the branch and flew through the air, swinging hard and fast for-
"KEW-KEW! WATCH OUT FOR THAT-"
CRASH!
There came an explosion of feathers as the pair slammed into the side of an oak.
"...tree…"
Sandwiched between Kew-Kew and the wood Rolf saw a dozen of Ralph's trophies spinning around his head. Kew-Kew saw eagles, eggs and feathers.
"Why does I even have that rope?" the wearet wondered dizzily, as he peeled off the side of the trunk and plummeted to the forest floor.
By the time they recovered, the assassins had formed a wide ring around them.
"So what will it be? Dead or alive?" the one that spoke was a gnarly old toad that looked suspiciously like the owner of the Barfing Bird.
Rolf wasn't sure who exactly he was referring to. He didn't get the chance to answer because at that moment Kew-Kew sprung to his footpaws and bared his teeth. The mercenaries took a collective step backwards, none too eager to be the first to attack.
"I has an idea!" the wearet whispered as he lifted Rolf off the ground. He had a sly grin on his muzzle when he added. "Rolfie won't like it!"
"Beggars can't be choosers," the mouse muttered bracing himself for impact. "If it works, I'll thank you."
He had expected Kew-Kew to throw him, instead the wearet's jaws sprung open as wide as they would go and chomped down on his face.
Rolf's eyes bulged open in mindless panic as he suddenly found himself framed by Kew-Kew's teeth. Before he could so much as yell, the eagle swallowed, sending the mouse to the back of his throat. It was impossibly tight and by all accounts Rolf was sure he shouldn't have fit, but another strong swallow proved him wrong there as well. Kew-Kew ate fast, leaving Rolf little time to struggle and even less time to puzzle out what was going on before he was crammed somewhere mercifully less tight. The wearet's belly. The last place he'd hoped to visit today.
Like all things Kew-Kew, it stunk, and here it was a particularly overpowering stench. It was hot and sticky and eerily dark. I am not thanking you! Rolf wanted to scream, but he was squished too tightly for words.
It was only when Kew-Kew had bolted down the last of the mouse, that the assassins started to recover from the shock.
"L-let's get him!" shouted an enthusiastic one in the back. But no beast made any move to attack.
Kew-Kew burped rudely, and was incredibly thankful Margaret wasn't around to chide him for his manners (she might have had something to say about eating her little brother as well). "Good breakfast," he grinned, shaking the mouse around like a sack of coins as he jostled his belly. "Who next?"
One by one the assassins turned and fled. It was a trickle at first, but turned into a full-on stampede in half a heartbeat. The traps were one thing. The boulders and spears and arrows and buckets of pungent stickiness were all things beasts payed to kill could handle. But this was the eagle's territory and they were the prey and there were few things more frightening than being prey.
Kew-Kew waited patiently for the screams of terror to fade to nothing before bending over and horking up the slime-covered mouse.
"Plan worked!" Kew-Kew grinned, wiping drool off his muzzle. "Scares away alla badthings! Gave Kew-Kew breakfast too, hihihihihi!"
Rolf merely groaned and flicked the spittle off his tailtip. "Please don't make me thank you for it." Kew-Kew was right of course, the bounty hunters had fled into the trees and with any luck that was the last they'd have to see of them.
"Rolfie tastes like bluuuueberry," Kew-Kew giggled. The eagle was beaming, his tail wagging behind him as if the mouse's exquisite flavour was the highest praise Kew-Kew could give. "Say thaaaaank you," the wearet teased, licking slime and slobber off the mouse's face.
Rolf pinched the bridge of his snout but managed a 'thank you' anyways before quickly changing the subject. "I don't suppose you know who sent them?"
The eagle 'hrmmmmmmed' thoughtfully before shrugging. "Kew-Kew can't think of anybeast that would want to kill Kew-Kew. Maaaaybe eagle that killed mother of Kew-Kew, but eagles not working with mice. Except for Kew-Kew."
"Right…" Rolf scratched the back of his head. "I guess Ralph could have, but he doesn't have the money for it. It's most likely Carrabas actually but he doesn't have the money for it either. I guess we should've asked one of them before…" Then he remembered. "Hey, what did you do to the mouse? The one with the bow?"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Want a rematch?" Siler asked as he swayed gently from the rope hanging him high, high above the ground below.
"Kew-Kew would have eaten hunter-mousie-thing," the eagle explained to Rolf. "But tastes big yucky!"
The mouse twitched uncomfortably, but ignored his roommate. "Who hired you?" he asked Siler.
The woodmouse looked from Kew-Kew to Rolf with an expression of amusement. "Look, kid, you don't get my kind of reputation by betraying the confidentiality of your clients. All I'll tell you is somebeast incredibly rich wants his hide but you could have probably worked that out on your own. And from what I hear, somebeast also wants your hide." He paused for a long while before adding "I might know more if my pockets had some weight to them."
Before Rolf could offer a reply, a shadow fell above them. With a squawk of alarm, Kew-Kew lifted Rolf up by the scarf and bolted into the shadows of the surrounding foliage. There was nowhere for Siler to run. Even his stone-cold eyes bulged wide with fear as darkness descended.
A thunderbolt of feathers swooped past, beak agape, and one moment the woodmouse was there. The next he wasn't. It all happened so fast Rolf didn't have time to blink.
"What is… happening?" Rolf cradled his face. "I thought the fight with Barrumtum would be the worst of it but then Ralph and now this!? It just keeps getting worse and worse!"
"Is normal," Kew-Kew protested. "Eagles eat mousies alla the time! Is like pancake-"
"Not in front of me! A-and pancakes aren't even sentient!" Rolf took a deep breath. He was shaking so hard he found himself clinging to Kew-Kew's tail for stability.
"Before I met you I lived a very simple, very normal life, forget the trophies and the Ralph business, the worst thing that ever happened to me was getting robbed once by a group of brigands and nobeast got shot! B-but today I had a fox trying to kill me and I'm lucky one of your traps didn't! And y-you're bleeding and you ate me!"
"Kraw! Kew-Kew didn't eat, Kew-Kew swallowed, big different! Was just trying to save Rolfie," the wearet raised his tail and the mouse with it and drew Rolf into a big, bone-crushing hug.
"You have no idea how terrifying you are, do you?" the mouse wheezed, eyes bulging. Nevertheless, Rolf remembered the wearet talking in his sleep earlier and did his best to return the hug.
When that was done and Rolf could breathe again the mouse went on. "We should go back to Plomplemoof." He raised a paw before the wearet could 'Kraw'. "I know you want to help me 'follow my dream' but that can wait. For now we've got to figure out who sent them…" he gestured at the severed rope Siler had been hanging from moments before. "After us, and Plomplemoof's the best place to start."
To Rolf's relief the wearet nodded.
"Right. Now can we get down, please?"
That excited the eagle. "Keeraw! We go fun way!" Seizing the mouse, Kew-Kew clambered higher up the tree and lead him into a hole that had once been a woodpeckers nest.
The 'fun way' was a crude slide winding round and round the inside of the old tree. Squirrels were known to carve out similar things for their children but the rough paw-work could only have been Kew-Kew's. Otters made slides of mud on riverbanks and Kew-Kew had done the same, lining the bottom of the slide with soft, wet mud.
It was not particularly fun, infinitely more uncomfortable than either a squirrel or an otter's kind of slide, and it ended by dumping Rolf unceremoniously into a pile of waiting feathers but it was better than falling out of a tree.
Rolf resurfaced with a sneeze, feeling strangely at ease despite everything. "You know what, Kew-Kew? I'm actually kind of glad you brought me here. After everything we've been through I mean… it can't get any worse, can it?" He broke into a nervous chuckle.
The wearet's answer came as a distant but rapidly approaching "KAA-KAAAAAAAAAAAW!" It was only then that the mouse realised Kew-Kew had gone into the slide after him.
"...Maybe I spoke too soon." Rolf sighed and pinched his nose shut as the eagle's shadow fell over him. It was soon followed by the eagle himself.
Footnote: Damn this chapter was a pain to write. In a good way of course, it was a fun chapter, I really enjoyed writing Siler and Robin and an over the top silly slapfest like this is inevitably going to be fun.
Now, when I originally decided to bring Rolf into the Kew-Kew fic I had three pretty clearish scenes in mind for this particular 'Flight of Fancy Episode'. The first is the first one I wrote- where they first meet in Rolf's room and Rolf falls back down the stairs. The second was this or rather some amalgamation of this! Rolf and Kew-Kew, in the land of Kew-Kew where many a zany hijinks ensue! What exactly that zany hijink was varied from time to time depending on where my head was at.
But then I got permission to use Robin and Siler and ultimately I think this was the best route to take that particular 'blurred image' of the story. It's still absolutely ridiculous, but it was a little more action-packed and of course very fun to write. Hope you guys enjoyed it too ^^ Robin and Siler belong to their respective authors Rascal and Frost. They may or may not be back in the future.
No promises on updating soon but I do have bits and pieces of the next few chapters already written up so we'll see!
